Book of Love (15 page)

He rolled his eyes.
“Oh,
Brother.
You’re
so
dramatic.”

“
You still forget that you
were human once,” I challenged, as I often did.

Greg snorted. “A tragic part of my life I
chose to put behind me.”

I tilted my head. “Magick has mixed to the
point that angels will always co-exist within this world—one foot
in the magickal realm, the other in the human.” My eyes narrowed.
“I’ll kill you if that’s what it takes to remind you of your human
roots.”

We were climbing up the mountain on the
gravel road toward Erik’s house.

Greg smiled. “You would
never
kill
me.”
He leaned close to my ear. “You love me, you have to love me. If I
die, you die. Remember?” He raised his eyebrows and let out a
satisfied breath.

I mirrored his words. “And
if I die,
you die.
Remember? I don’t fear crossing over as you do.”

The car rolled to a stop outside the house.
The tall trees were blowing in the wind, making it seem ominous.
The house was over one-hundred years old, passed down through the
family of the alchemist that took Erik in.

I thought about our old house, and my own
family, suddenly missing the way it was. My parents were well known
in town, and a major influence in political circles. We were
wealthy, one of the wealthiest families in Colorado. My mother and
father founded the town of Glenwood Springs in 1886. But after a
few years of happiness within the family, things began to fall
apart as the truth about magick began to surface. It was no secret
that my mother was involved with the alchemist, the thing that
drove Greg to insanity. He thought it was horrid to see Mother
cavorting with magickal beings, and though my father chose to
ignore it, it tore Greg apart.

Even before that, though, I always knew
something was different about Greg. I never paid it much mind
because I was too swallowed by my own popularity and vanity to
notice. Greg didn’t have the same friends as I did, if any at
all—even if we were fraternal twins. When I finally did begin to
notice his solidarity, I tried to include him, but by then, he no
longer wanted any part of it.

I blame myself for what happened—I should
have seen it. It is this guilt that has changed me from the
self-centered seventeen year old I once was into the humanitarian I
am in death. I have learned from my mistakes, but Greg still
hasn’t.

“
Ahhh…”
Greg sighed, breaking
my thought. “Eternal life is wonderful, isn’t it?”

I clenched my jaw, swallowing down my
anger.

Eternal life was Hell.

My Hell.

Wes:

I quickly took my note for Emily down from
the window, seeing Jane storm into her room, afraid she would
notice. I glanced at Emily one more time before ducking back. While
I waited for Emily, I watched Jane from a distance—at an angle
where she wouldn’t see me. I splayed my hands against the wall
behind me as I leaned forward and exhaled. Our whole friendship was
crumbling, but for whatever reason, it wasn’t bothering me the way
I thought it should.

All my young adult life I
thought she was it, that all I ever wanted was her. Now though,
seeing
him
with
her, I am finally beginning to realize she’s not. I couldn’t trust
Jane while she was with him. Something about that Max kid was all
wrong.

I lifted my hand from the wall and felt my
head. The pill Emily had given me was admittedly making things
bearable. My muscles felt soft and relaxed, and the thoughts in my
head were clear and concise.

I got her now, and I understood why it was
Emily took the drugs. I never expected that she would have issues
as I had, as Jane had. She acted okay with it, though, more adult
than Jane ever could. It was almost as though my whole issue wasn’t
a big deal to her, but it made sense. Emily had dealt with her own
problems all her life. She knew how to keep it a secret—she knew
how to conceal.

It was clear that Emily and Jane had yet to
share the existence of their gifts with each other. I knew it
wasn’t my place to tell either of them, though conceivably Emily
already knew about Jane’s if reading thoughts was indeed what she
could do. All I knew was that I could never tell Jane my secret.
How do I explain it to her? And if I did, would she even bother to
understand, or dwell selfishly on her own problems?

In the course of one day, everything I once
thought to be real no longer was. Every notion I once had about the
things and people I thought I could depend on, I no longer could. I
was lost.

I moved from the wall to the ground,
crawling on hands and knees to the window. I peeked over the ledge.
Jane sat on her bed, her hand resting on her chest and her eyes
looking at the ceiling. I felt a lump in my throat rise, watching
her hand as it touched her skin. She was still beautiful, but an
empty shell. How could I justify my new feelings for Emily without
hurting Jane? But then again, would she even care? This was what
Jane wanted, after all.

My eyes hurt just watching her. She did not
love me, and she never would. I reached up and grabbed the cord to
the blinds, carefully tugging. I lowered them as I tried to remain
inconspicuous, hoping she didn’t notice.

There was a knock on my bedroom door then,
and I jumped. I leaned against the wall under the window, bracing
myself as the pity I felt for Jane changed to excitement toward
Emily’s presence.

“
Come in.” My voice was
rough in my throat.

The door squeaked open and Emily stuck her
head in. A sweet smile filled her lips, and the tension in my chest
subsided. The confusion over Jane changed to an obvious decision.
Emily was who I really wanted.

“
Hi.” She stepped into the
room, shutting the door behind her. I noticed a stack of thin but
large books in her hand.

“
What are those?” I pushed
myself away from the wall, my knees dragging across the
floor.

Emily knelt and sat cross legged on the
floor, tossing the books into my lap. I picked one up, twisting it
in my hand to read it. My upper lip pursed with interest.

“
Animals of the Amazon?”
The cover was illustrated for children. I ran my fingers over the
waxy image of an exotic bird.

She nodded, grabbing her ankles with her
hands and leaning forward. She grasped the cover and opened to a
random page. “See. I thought that…”

There was an image of a large python. I
swallowed, feeling my body begin to tingle and ache. I forced the
book from under her hand and slammed it shut.

“
Em, what
are you
doing?”
Sweat began to seep from my pores as a wave of heat trickled
from my head to the tips of my fingers.

Emily was watching me as though I were some
sort of experiment. She tilted her head curiously, rocking back
onto her tailbone. I glanced at her stomach as she stretched. She
was wearing a short shirt, her skirt ruffling around her thighs.
Dirt from where she fell out of the car still stained her knees. I
looked away, cursing to myself as I wished she’d sit
differently.

Emily smirked, knowing what I’d thought.

I tilted my head, curious. “Just what can
you hear exactly?”

She smiled and shrugged.

“
Come on, Em. I’ve
practically spilled my heart out here. I mean look at me, I’m
sweating like a fool over a picture of a python. Give a
little.”

Emily looked me in the eyes, my thoughts
screaming to know. “I know just about everything you think I
know.”

My amusement faded.
“Everything?
Even…”

Emily narrowed her eyes, my thoughts pouring
over every thought I’d had toward Jane today. I cursed under my
breath. I then thought about every thought I’d had of her, feeling
a warm tingle pulse through my blood.

She smiled, despite the previously hurt look
from my initial thoughts. “Listen, Wes. I get it, I do. Its human
nature to be confused and I’m alright with that. I’m prepared to go
along with whatever is ahead. Right now I’m just excited to have
someone who knows. Someone I can talk to about issues I’ve never
shared with anyone. And I’m okay with knowing what you think. In a
way, it’s nice.”

I shook my head. “But, it’s horrible! I feel
horrible that—”

Emily put her hand up to stop me. “I know,
Wes, but because I can hear what you’re thinking, I can also hear
your confusion. You don’t need to try and explain it to me.”

I stared at her, afraid of my thoughts.

“
Don’t be, Wes. Think what
you want. I’ve dealt with the fact that there is no such thing as a
secret for all my life. I know my mother thinks I’m a horrible
daughter, but I also know that despite all that, she does love me.
I know Jane thinks I’m a lost cause and will end up a poll dancer
one day,” I laughed. “But I’m okay with that, too. I’m okay because
I know who I am, and I’m none of those things. It’s always been
that way.”

I nodded, understanding what she meant. It
was something she was born with, so to her, dealing with thoughts
was common place.

“
Besides,
it’s not like I hear
every
thought, especially when I take something. I know
it’s horrible, and it’s seriously messing with my health but… drugs
make it all go away. So, you see my reasons for taking
them.”

“
You really shouldn’t take
them, Em. There must be a better way,” I know it sounded like I was
trying to be the hypocritical parent, but perhaps she would listen
to me.

Shame glimmered in her eyes as she fidgeted
with her hands.

I felt her despair and
isolation. “How can you handle it? I mean, I’ve seen how some of
the boys you buy drugs from look at you. I could only imagine what
it would be like to also know what they
think.”
Just realizing what I
thought about her made it worse.

Emily rolled her eyes and
laughed. “It’s a necessary means to and end, and after a while, it
just becomes humorous. I mean, they’ll play out whole
scenes—”

I squirmed, and she caught onto my
discomfort.

She shrugged. “Well, I mean, you get the
picture.”

My eyes were wide as I
nodded.
“Yeah.”
I
changed the subject. “Make me a deal, though. No more drugs, for
either of us. We have each other. Let’s just be real for once, not
numb.”

Emily smiled. “I guess I can do that.”

I smiled back. “Good.”

She picked up the book between us, tracing
the cover with her finger. I’d almost forgotten about it.

“
I brought these because I
was curious. That’s all. I know you became that bird, but what if
it were a fox that we’d seen in the woods, or a snake?” She removed
her Converse and adjusted her plaid knee socks. “What if you can be
anything you want?”

I couldn’t stop watching
her, but she didn’t seem to mind the attention, either. My ears
were alive as I listened to her hand graze the soft skin on her
legs. “I—
I don’t know.”
I stuttered, unable to stop my lecherous
thoughts.

Emily smiled, knowing.

I tried to concentrate on something else,
finding that when I pushed the thoughts of her away, the image of
the snake in the book was now slithering across my mind. The image
began to mix with the emotion I felt toward Emily. I was
over-stimulated, and Emily’s presence was making the urges and pain
in my muscles hard to subdue. I heard her heart beating—it was even
and soft like a drum.

Emily grabbed one of the other books,
flipping it open and scanning the page. She had a dangerous look on
her face, her crimson lips curled with amusement. I was scared. She
turned the book to face me, a picture of a small monkey on the
page. I let out a painful laugh.

“
Em,
stop.”

Emily pushed the book closer to my face.
“Wes, look at it,” she urged.

I refused and shook my head, squeezing my
eyes shut. She did not budge, and I couldn’t help but slowly draw
my attention back. I looked at her eyes as she peered over the top
of the book, seeing they were now deeper then they had ever been. I
listened to her breathing, the ache in my body seeping into my
bones.

I looked down at the monkey, gazing into its
eyes. I felt as though I could feel its heart beating, though it
was just a picture. It began to come alive in my own heart, the
rate of it unlike anything I’d felt before. I gave up and let go of
the pain as I felt my muscles give in. Hair sprouted from my skin,
my body shrinking closer to the ground.

Here we go
again.

Jane:

I was a horrible person, and now I really
was left with no one. Who could I call? Who could I talk to? I’d
destroyed my only friendship, and my efforts to save my sister had
failed. She still hated me, if not more than before. My whole world
had stopped because of my infatuation with Max—my head crowded with
images of him.

I looked out the window, seeing that Wes’s
blinds were now shut. He hated me. I knew this because his foreseen
death had changed, showing him lying in a field of grass, me
standing over him with a bloody knife. I didn’t need much more
proof than that, and it didn’t take a genius to see why he hated
me.

I lay back against the pillow as my body
went weak. Every inch of my skin tingled. I needed to sleep, I
needed to dream. There I felt something more than I did while I was
awake. Though the death I saw would strike fear into the hearts of
most, it was something that brought me a terrifyingly strange sense
of comfort. My father’s death had changed me, giving me a lust for
the horrible images in my dreams. I felt like a freak, but it
didn’t mean that I was a murderer, or an evil being. At least
that’s what I hoped.