Blink of an Eye: Beginnings Series Book 8 (69 page)

<><><><>

Ellen didn’t know what to do, or what to say. She felt at a total loss, pacing around that small Holding room, watching Frank struggle. Every time she would watch him come from the bathroom, holding tightly to himself, wanting to scream out, Ellen, wanted to cry.

He had yelled at her
, telling her to leave. Frank had slammed his fist into the wall so many times Ellen feared his hand was broken. His skin on his arms was scratched and red from his pulling at it. Ellen kept her distance. She had learned over the past hours stepping too close to him was not good. He’d swing out in his move from her, yelling, saying things that Ellen would never put a thought into.

Turning out to be the longest night of their lives
, Ellen hoped that the rising sun that would be rising soon beyond their closed in walls, would help bring some relief to Frank. But a part of her knew it wouldn’t. Frank had gotten worse since they had dinner. He looked worse, he sounded worse.

Five a
.m. neared, Ellen knew this because she had checked her watch when Frank sprang from the sleep he finally fell into less than thirty minutes earlier, and fled to the bathroom. His pain filled cry out went right through Ellen. She jolted at his every bang he made in that bathroom. His every yell. She even jumped back when he flung open the bathroom door.

“
I can’t do this.” Frank swayed, speaking weakly, crossing his arms over his stomach and falling backwards into the wall. “I can’t take it anymore, El.” His head flung back and a long, loud grunt came from his gut as his body shook and he banged his head several times. “El.” Frank stumbled to his left, rolling slowly about the wall as if for some sort of support. First his shoulder, to his face, then laying his arms and cheek against it finding a soothing effect from the coldness of it. Rolling one more time he found his back into a corner. “El.” His bare feet moved out and Frank slid slowly down the wall, bringing his knees up to him, hovering his long arms across them and burying his head. “Help me, Ellen.”

So scared to reach out for him
, so scared of what his mental state could do, Ellen apprehensively walked toward Frank. Her heart pounded as he huddled there. “Frank,” she whispered and took another step to him. “I’m right here.” She held out her trembling hand close to his lowered head.

Slowly Frank
lifted his head only enough to expose his eyes. Seeing her hand, he tossed out his arm, grasping tightly to her wrist and pulling at her as he pulled himself to his knees and with such desperation, tugged at her until she dropped with him to the floor.

The moment Ellen reached the floor was the moment Frank fell over into her
. His head dug deep into her chest, his arms held tight around her as his legs cradled in a fold against hers.

Ellen swallowed her emotions and wrapped her arms full
y around him bracing his head close to her, planting her lips to him, rubbing her cheek against his hair and becoming drenched with the sweat of his body.

“
Take it away, El,” Frank spoke so raspy. “Please.”

“
I wish I could. I really wish I could.”

“
Talk to me, El. Talk to me. Tell ... tell me.” He sniffed loudly, his voice shaking as much as his body. “Tell me a story. Anything. Keep talking to me.”

Words of encouragement was not what Frank needed at that moment and Ellen was aware of that
. His mind needed to be sent elsewhere, away from his body and what he was experiencing. He called out to be taken, maybe somewhere within the deep hypnotic effect of Ellen’s voice. Somewhere. Anywhere.

“
I remember, Frank,” Ellen spoke so soft to him. “I remember the first time I danced with you. We were just kids. And we were in our apartment, it was snowing out. We couldn’t go anywhere. We were stuck. And you, Frank, you and your one track mind back then only wanted to fool around. And I kept telling you ...”

“
... after we finish our anatomy.”

“
That’s right.” Ellen kissed him. “And then you said that fooling around was part of anatomy. I didn’t fall for it. And my song came on the radio. I asked you to dance. You made fun of me for liking such an old song. But you danced with me. You were so tall compared to me, not as tall as you are now. But it was a reach for me to dance with you. I guess now, I’m used to dancing with you. And we laughed during that dance. You called me old because of the song. But that became our song. And do you know when that dance became one of my favorite moments with you?”

Frank shook his head
‘no’.

“
It was when you bought the tape of that song and you used to play it. You didn’t think I knew. I did.”

“
That’s because ...” Frank spoke breathy. “It made me feel you.”

Ellen felt his hands grip tighter to her back
. “I loved you back then. Nowhere near as much as I love you now. I should never have given up on you. I should never have given you up. Never. If we had stayed together, imagine where we’d be.”

“
Beginnings.”

Ellen snickered
. “True.” She kissed him again. “Frank, I want you to know. There wasn’t a day in my life that went by where I didn’t regret not having you. Every single day I thought of you. Every single day I wished I hadn’t ended us. I started to fear growing old, because I didn’t want to grow old with Pete. All those times you and I, as kids, talked about how we would be the only ones who would put up with each other. All those times we said that when we were eighty we’d be stuck together and sitting on the front porch of some house, drinking coffee when it was a hundred degrees. Being the old people that the kids on the block would annoy by playing loudly in front of the house. Stepping on our perfect lawn. But you know what, Frank? We’re gonna have that. We’re gonna be eighty years old together. We may only have steps to sit on and we probably will never have a yard, but we’ll sit together, Frank. We’ll sit together.”

“
Just don’t become Josephine.”

Ellen laughed and ran her hand down to his arm
, pulling it some from her and grabbing his hand, she leaned more into the wall, Frank’s body weight still against her. “We did it, Frank. We stood the test of time. And we still love each other. We’ve become what use to amaze us when we were younger. Remember going to the park or to the mall and walking around? We used to get so amazed at the older couples, the old people there. We also used to gross ourselves out ...” She chuckled. “When we would talk about them having sex.” She felt Frank snicker. “But through all those stories, they still amazed us. How they still loved each other through all those years. I never thought that was possible. I thought they just got used to each other. But they held hands, and that gave it away. They still held hands. And though I firmly believed and was quite adamant about how you really didn’t love me, how if you were with me, it was out of habit, you knew. You knew, Frank, didn’t you? You knew ...”

“
... I would never stop holding your hand.” Frank lifted their joined hands and smiled slightly at them, bringing her fingers to his lips and kissing them. “Never.”

Frank didn
’t shake as bad, he had calmed some giving his little interjections here and there into Ellen’s stories. Long stories, some she had recanted more than a dozen times. But that was to be expected. He knew Ellen too many years not have a repeat of tales. But he didn’t mind, he wanted her to talk. It helped. And he listened.

Ellen continued talking throughout the rest of the night to Frank
, and probably well into the next morning. It was difficult. It was the first time Ellen had seen someone go through this. It was hard enough for her to watch, let alone watch someone she loved battle an illness they brought upon themselves. And Frank battled it like he did with all his fights. He battled with everything he had, but only this time, he battled with Ellen by his side.

He was moving into his day with only two hours sleep
, but Frank didn’t mind. He was moving into his first full day back into Beginnings. He tucked in his white tee shirt and strapped on his shoulder harness. So early he was going to start this day, he had to. Frank had so much to catch up on, and he knew well without checking, that Robbie didn’t do one of those stupid reports. But even the stupid reports were a welcome.

Standing before his dresser mirror getting ready to go
, Frank felt different. For the first time in a long time he stood in his bedroom and he didn’t dread the evening that would come. He knew it would be difficult, part of him told him it always will. But he was stronger. And there was one big difference in his life. He had Ellen back—sort of.

His eyes drifted to the photograph of Ellen he had on the corner of his mirror
. A Polaroid taken in the cryo-lab when they just uncovered it. How annoyed she looked in the picture. How Ellen hated the picture. But Frank, he loved it. Though Ellen would argue, it was a perfect picture of how she always looked. He picked it up running his fingers over it missing her already even though she had just left a few hours earlier. And Ellen’s leaving was something Frank was going to work on. If Frank had his way, she would have stayed. But he had her all week and most of that day and night. Sharing the evening with the kids since Dean wouldn’t let him work. Catching up on Alexandra gossip. Both of them walking the kids back to Dean’s, putting them in bed, annoying Dean. Then going back to Frank’s, both of them saying it was to talk. But both of them knowing it was to ease Frank’s slight nervousness over being home his first night dry.

Alone was not what they got
, which was good to Frank. Robbie stopped by along with Joe and the four of them, like they use to, lost track of time deep their conversation. Staying up most of the night reminiscing. An unwritten Slagel tradition that spanned decades, only this time the Slagel tradition happened less the alcohol.

Setting down the picture
, Frank knew it was time for him to head to work, early but head off there. Making his way from his home to town, walking and enjoying the cool morning, Frank realized how early he was when he ran into Henry.

Henry was startled when he saw the dark shadow jump out at him
. He grabbed his chest. “You scared me, Frank.”

“
Why?”

“
I thought you were the grim reaper or something finally coming after me.” Henry kept his pace up to Frank’s. “Heading in already?”

“
Yep.” Frank looked ahead. “Where were you last night?”

“
What do you mean?”

“
I thought for sure you would have come over and visited. I haven’t seen you in a while.”

“
Well, Frank, by the time you got out, I had already started getting engrossed in the tracking system. We’re putting it up today. And ...”

“
Excuses.”

“
No-no.” Henry shook his head. “I was busy.”

“
I had all the kids, I thought for sure you would have stopped to see them or at least ... Ellen.”

Henry stopped walking
. “No. I don’t want to see Ellen. Not yet.”

“
Henry.” Frank faced him. “Stop this. You guys were such good friends. Why are you doing this?”

“
I just can’t face her Frank. Not until I face what happened.”

“
But what about facing it with her?” Frank gripped Henry’s arm. “Of all people. Out of anyone. Ellen is the one who knows what you’re going through. She is the one that can help you the most.”

“
I thought of that. And I justified that in my mind.” Henry raised his shoulder and rubbed his ear with it. “But ... what if I bring it up. She finally told me about that after all this time. What if she thinks I’m comparing the two occurrences. Frank, by doing that I may insult her. What happened to her is far worse than what happened to me.”

“
Henry, just because the final outcome isn’t the same doesn’t make what happen to you any less severe. Talk to her.”

“
No.” Henry shook his head. “What if I tell her? She’ll see me like that forever. She’ll picture that in her mind and I don’t want her to look at me like that. Weak.”

Frank had to chuckle a bit at that
. “El won’t see you as weak. I didn’t think it was possible, but I learned a little more about her this week.”

“
You guys are back huh?” Henry’s head dropped.

“
You could say that.” Frank smiled wide. “Yeah, we’re back. And that’s why I’m getting on you here, Henry. You’re messing up the trio. You’re letting Dean in. Come on.”

Henry look as if a small amount of happiness hit his face
. “You still want to let me in your lives?”

“
Of course I do. You’re my best friend. But you have to get off your ass here. I’ll work on it on my end.”

“
Thanks, Frank.” Henry lost his smile. “But not yet.”

“
We’ll work on this, Henry.” Frank started walking again. “But you know, I still think that was a lame excuse for not stopping by last night.”

“
Can I be honest with you, Frank?”

“
Yes.”

“
With the way my luck has been, I was kind of afraid.”

Frank was puzzled
. “Afraid of what?”

“
Afraid of catching tuberculosis. I mean, you do have that rare strain ...”

“
Henry.”

“
And you really shouldn’t touch the kids yet with having it.”

“
Henry.” Frank tried to interrupt.

“
Of course if you weren’t playing with frogs you wouldn’t have ...”

“
Henry.” Frank grabbed him and stopped him. “I don’t have tuberculosis.”

“
Sure you do. Dean said you do.”

“
No,” Frank corrected. “Dean said I may have it.”

“
Still, Frank, You can’t be too sure and uh ... I really wish you wouldn’t touch me I know I’ll catch it. And with my luck, I’ll die right away.”

“
Henry.” Frank started to laugh. “Dean only said that to cover up the truth. I didn’t want anyone to know. I was embarrassed, but most of all because I was scared I couldn’t do it. He had me in Holding because I had to dry out. I quit drinking, Henry. I did it.”

Henry
’s mouth dropped open and he grinned wide. “You really quit?”

“
Yep. Haven’t had a drink in a week.”

“
Oh my God, Frank.” Henry jumped up hugging him. “I’m proud of you!”

“
Thanks, Henry.” Stepping back from the hug, Frank ruffled Henry’s combed hair.

“
Aw, Frank.” Henry tried to straighten it. “It took me fifteen minutes to get my hair right.”

“
Why do you care?” Frank said as they started walking again. “Just shave it off.”

“
No!” Henry snapped. “And besides, my hair has to look good. I work a lot with Danny. Have you seen his hair? Always perfect. It’s embarrassing. I look sloppy.” Henry walked a little more then stopped. “Shit. Frank? Ellen was with you up there.”

“
Yeah she was,” Frank said somberly.

“
Oh my God, Frank, did she have to dry out too?”

“
Fuck, Henry, what do you ...” Frank looked solemn again. “Yes, yes she did. And it’s all because of you. You drove her to the bottle.”

“
Oh my God.” Henry looked panicked as he walked. “I knew it. My luck again, see.” Shaking his head, he didn’t see Frank laughing in their walk to their divisions. If he had he wouldn’t have stayed so worried.

<><><><>

Dean could have set the mug of coffee down a little easier when he set it on the nightstand by Ellen’s head, but he needed to jolt her. Not just by the aroma of his nice morning offering, but by the sound as well. “Let’s go, El.” He pulled at the covers. “I’m not calling you again.”

“
I’m not your child.” She brought the covers back up.

“
Get up.” He pulled them back down and opened the blind.

“
Dean,” she yelled out. “Cut it out and shut the damn blind.”

“
Get up.”

“
Go to hell.”

“
Ellen.” He gasped. “Such attitude. I brought you coffee.” He sat on the edge of the bed next to her. “See how nice I am.”

“
You’re the prince.” She could smell the clean of him. How long had he been up? “Dean, please, I just went to bed.”

“
So. Choose.”

“
Choose what?”

“
Get the kids up and dressed or make breakfast. Which one?”

“
Sleep.”

“
Not a choice, Ellen. Come on.”

“
God can you be annoying.” She sat up in bed, running her fingers through her hair and grabbed her coffee. “The kids aren’t up yet?”

“
Nope. You guys didn’t bring them back until late.” Dean looked at his watch. “It’s time though.” He stood up. “And don’t forget you’re picking them up today. Bring them here, Frank will get them later.”

“
Just tell me why I can’t go back to sleep.”

“
Because you have to help me with these kids and we have a ton of work today. We touched nowhere near what we needed to touch yesterday.”

“
You kept Frank in Holding extra long.”

“
I kept Frank in Holding until he went twenty-four hours without being sick.” Dean walked to his dresser and grabbed his shirt. “And don’t complain about being tired. You went to bed late.”

“
That’s because I got home late and had to clean your house. Which by the way you are getting lazy at.”

“
Well you wouldn’t have gotten home so late had you not been fooling around with Frank all night.”

Ellen laughed
. “You think that’s what I was doing. Ha!” She set her coffee down. “If I was fooling around with Frank then we were doing it in front of Robbie and Joe. Not much fun in that.”

“
You continue to shock me, Ellen.”

“
What?” She got out of bed. “That I didn’t fool around with Frank?”

“
And the fact that you came home.”

“
I live here!” She tossed her hands up. “You keep missing that fact, Dean.” She headed to her dresser, pulled out clothes and walked to the door. “And if you don’t start being as domesticated as you used to be, I won’t live here anymore.” She moved to the bedroom door. “And another thing.” She pointed. “You should change that shirt. It’s wrinkled.”

“
So.”

“
So? If you hung those up they wouldn’t get wrinkled.”

“
Ellen.”

“
And one more thing.”

Dean rolled his eyes
. “What now?”

“
I’m not making the bed. I barely slept in it.”

“
Take your shower.” Dean waved his hand at her.

“
You rinsed out the sink from shaving, didn’t you?”

“
Yes, why would ...”

“
I gag when I have to brush my teeth and I see those little hairs spewed forth all ...”

“
Ellen!” Dean walked to her shoving her lightly through the door. “Go.”

“
Oh my God, I can’t believe you’re pushing me like that. And you need a haircut.”

“
Go.”

“
You’re putting me in a bad mood, you know that don’t you,” Ellen bitched. “I didn’t get much sleep and here you are shoving me around ...”

“
El.” Dean covered her mouth with his hand.

Ellen removed his hand
. “You can silence me now but you have to work with me all day.” She stepped back and walked to the bathroom. “Don’t think I won’t let you hear it all day either.” Her voice faded. “And I hope to God you rinsed off the bar of soap.” The bathroom door shut. “I hate used bubbles on it.”

Dean tossed his hands in the air
, his head spun. “Why did I even wake her up?”

<><><><>

“How much are we draining?” Danny asked Henry, walking with him to the new Tracking Station.

“
Not much. I just think with everything else in your house it just overloaded it.”

Danny shook his head
. “Good thing I got that fire out huh?”