Blinding Rain, Season 2, Episode 7 (Rising Storm) (2 page)

“Seriously, dude,” Marcus said behind him. “Alcohol is not going to fix what’s bugging you.”

“Yeah?” Logan glanced back at his friend. “And what will?”

Marcus eyed him across the bar. “Forgetting about her will.”

Logan huffed, and that ache in the center of his chest he’d been living with the past few weeks seemed to grow wider instead of narrower. “Easier said than done,” he muttered. “The only way I can forget about her is to get out of this miserable town.”

When Marcus frowned like that was a stupid idea, Logan said, “Could you do it? If it was Brittany? Just forget about her?”

Marcus’s jaw tightened. “Probably not. I’d wanna get shitfaced and run. But we’re not kids anymore. Once the buzz wore off, the problem would still be there, and if there’s one thing I’ve learned over the years it’s that you can’t get drunk enough or run far enough to escape your problems. They’ll still be there when you sober up. Trust me, with all the crap going on with my dad, the only thing I wanna do is get the hell out of this town too, but I can’t. And you can’t either. We’ve got people here who need us. My mom and sisters. Your mom and dad, your brothers. Responsibility sucks, but it’s part of life.”

It did suck. And hearing about Marcus’s family only made Logan feel guilty for whining about his love life—or lack thereof. “How are things at home?”

“Like shit. I can’t get my mom to stand up to the bastard.”

Logan’s gut twisted. Yeah, he was a dick for moping about Ginny when Marcus was reliving the hell of his youth. “I’m sorry, man. Is there anything I can do?”

“Yeah, there is.” The bell over the door jangled, and Marcus glanced over his shoulder where Ian Briggs was stepping into the bar. Marcus looked back at Logan as he pushed off his stool. “You can be thankful for what you have. You’ve got a special family here, Logan. People who care about you and just want you to be happy. It’s killing them seeing you so miserable. If you can’t forgive Ginny, then let her go. Put her behind you and move on. If not for yourself then do it for them. Hell, do it for me. We all love ya, jerk.”

Marcus turned away, greeted Ian with a handshake, and the two headed for the door. Behind the bar, Logan watched them go and thought about the things Marcus had said.

Let Ginny go
. His head knew it was time. His heart, though—that ache in his chest grew so wide it felt like the Grand Canyon was swallowing him whole—wasn’t sure that was possible.

Someone down the bar laughed and called, “I’ll have another, bartender.”

On a deep breath, Logan sighed and pushed his body into motion. Reaching for a glass, he scooped up ice and went to work making another kamikaze. Regardless of the ache, Marcus was right. He had to move on...for his family, for his friends, but mostly for himself. Because torturing himself like this was only prolonging his misery. He wasn’t about to run. He wasn’t about to abandon his family again. And he knew Ginny wasn’t leaving town. Which meant the only way he was going to be able to get on with his life was to put her in the past where she belonged.

Along with every other mistake he’d ever made.

* * * *

“They’re perfect,” Ginny said, looking at the bouquet Kristin Douglas had put together for her at Pushing Up Daisies. While Kristin was more a party planner than a florist, she’d been picking up more duties at Hedda Garten’s shop since Joanne Alvarez had quit. “Marisol is going to love them.”

Kristin leaned on the counter and eyed the arrangement of lilies. “It’s sweet of you to get these for her.”

“Well, she’s been really great to me.” Ginny fingered an orange blossom and shook her head, thinking about her older sister and everything Marisol had endured because of her. “I lied to her so much. I lied to everyone.”

Her mind flitted to thoughts of Logan—to the hurt she saw in his eyes every time their paths crossed in town, to the way he couldn’t even be in the same room with her anymore thanks to her lies. If there was one person she should have been honest with about the paternity of her baby, it was Logan. He’d been there for her when no one else had been. He’d been willing to be a father to Little Bit even knowing it would never be his biological kid. And he’d loved her when she hadn’t been able to love herself. She’d fallen for the former soldier hard and fast after Jacob’s death, and instead of being scared of the truth, she knew she should have shared it—with him.

Blinking back the burn of tears, she shook her head and told herself she was doing the best she could. He’d come around eventually. At least she hoped he would because living without him was all but killing her. “I can’t change that, but I can try to make it up to Marisol. This isn’t nearly what she deserves, but I want her to know how much I appreciate everything she’s done for me.” She placed a hand on her round belly. “And Little Bit. Plenty of people in this town just want to act like we don’t even exist.”

Kristin sighed. “Are the Salts still giving you the cold shoulder?”

Thankful her new friend hadn’t immediately thought of Logan, Ginny huffed and lifted her gaze from the flower to Kristin’s russet hair. Behind Logan, the Salts were next on the avoid-Ginny-at-all-costs list. “More like the proverbial freeze out. They aren’t even entertaining the possibility Little Bit could be Jacob’s baby.”

“And you are?”

Ginny heard the skepticism in Kristin’s voice, and her first reaction was to say, “Yes, I am,” but she bit her tongue. Ginny was sure Kristin was only trying to help her keep things in perspective, but her bluntness made Ginny miss her old friends Jacob and Brittany. Jacob was gone, and Ginny couldn’t bring him back no matter how much she wanted to, but Brittany was still in Storm. And Ginny couldn’t help but remember a time when Brittany would have defended Ginny to the ends of the earth. Before Ginny’s lapse in judgment, Brittany would have sided with Ginny on everything. Now—because that lapse had involved Brittany’s father—Brittany could barely look at Ginny.

Just like Logan.

Ginny glanced back at the flowers, her mood sliding south fast. Man, she’d made a giant mess of her life, hadn’t she? “There’s still a chance Little Bit could be Jacob’s baby.”

“A very small chance,” Kristin said softly. “I just don’t want you to get your hopes up, honey.”

“I’m not. It’s just—”

The bell above the door jangled, and Ginny turned to look then caught her breath when Celeste Salt stepped into the shop with her daughter Sara Jane. Both women were halfway into the store before they saw Ginny and realized their mistake.

Celeste drew to a halt and went rigid as she stared at Ginny with wide, unreadable eyes. At her side, Sara Jane glanced from Ginny to her mother and back again with a worried expression. Placing a hand on her mother’s arm, Sara Jane whispered something Ginny couldn’t hear.

Tension filled the room like thick smoke. Ginny’s heart rate shot into the stratosphere. In Ginny’s belly, Little Bit jumped around as if he or she sensed the excitement, and all Ginny wanted to do was run, but Kristin’s voice at her back, whispering, “Just act normal,” kept her still. At least for the moment.

Long, silent seconds passed where all Ginny heard was the rush of blood in her ears. Finally, Celeste blinked and lifted her chin. With her purse hooked over her forearm, she continued walking toward the counter as if she owned the town, her daughter at her side. But as she drew close, Ginny couldn’t help but notice that Jacob’s mother looked terrible—thinner than she’d been the last time Ginny had seen her, pale, with dark circles under her eyes as if she’d barely slept in weeks.

Celeste stopped a foot away from the counter. “Ginny. Kristin. Good afternoon.”

The situation couldn’t be more awkward. Ginny swallowed the sickness threatening to consume her and tried to smile, but even she knew it came out looking more like a scowl. “Hi, Celeste. Sara Jane.”

Ginny nodded at Jacob’s older sister. For her part, Sara Jane sent Ginny a pitying smile and shrugged, telling Ginny loud and clear that she not only hated this moment as much as Ginny, but that she felt sorry for her.

“Kristin,” Celeste said, no longer looking at Ginny. “I need a bouquet for my sister, Payton. Something sunny and fun. She’s going through a difficult time and could use some cheering up.”

At the mention of Senator Rush’s wife, a woman Ginny had betrayed by sleeping with her husband, Ginny’s stomach completely pitched. Especially when Celeste glanced Ginny’s way with a very disapproving glare.

Dear God, she was never going to get away from the misery she’d caused. It was still spiraling, months after the fact. Closing her eyes briefly, Ginny said the same silent prayer she’d been reciting since the moment she’d found out she was pregnant:
Please, please, please let this baby be Jacob’s
. But in the bottom of her soul she knew she didn’t deserve to have that prayer answered. She deserved to suffer for all the lives she’d ruined because of her stupidity.

“Uh, sure.” Kristin glanced from Celeste to Ginny and back again. “I can do something like that. Do you want me to have it delivered to Payton’s house?”

“No, my house is fine,” Celeste answered.

When she didn’t elaborate, Sara Jane added, “Aunt Payton, Brittany, and Jeffry are staying with my parents for the time being. At least until they can find their own place.”

The Rushes were separating? Ginny’s eyes shot open, and she looked at Sara Jane, wondering immediately how Brittany was handling the news...if she was relieved or upset or worried or...

Her heart picked up speed. Whether Brittany agreed or not, Ginny still considered Brittany a friend. The oldest friend she had in Storm now. They’d been friends since they were kids. No one understood Brittany’s conflicted feelings regarding her parents more than Ginny. Brittany would need someone to talk to about all this. She’d need someone on her side now who understood the—

“Does that thrill you, Ginny Moreno?” Celeste’s icy eyes shifted Ginny’s way and narrowed. “Knowing the senator is free now? It makes your life and that of your
baby’s
much easier, doesn’t it?”

Kristin gasped behind the counter.

At Celeste’s side, Sara Jane said, “Mom, don’t.”

But Celeste didn’t seem to be listening. She turned fully to face Ginny, her eyes like frigid daggers. “You can all be a happy little family now, can’t you?”

Ginny’s mouth fell open, and her face flamed.

“Mom,” Sara Jane said harshly. “This is not the time or place.”

“No, it’s not.” Celeste’s eyes simmered with both pain and fury. “It’s never the time or place for lies.” Lifting her chin but not looking away from Ginny’s eyes, she said, “Kristin, put the order on my account. Travis will take care of it.”

She turned for the door.

Still standing near the counter, Sara Jane looked at Kristin, then at Ginny. “I’m sorry,” she said in a low voice. “She’s going through a really rough patch right now. I talked her into getting out of the house for a bit to get flowers for Aunt Payton. I-I didn’t know this was going to happen.”

“It’s okay,” Kristin said softly.

But it wasn’t okay. Anger flared inside Ginny as she watched Celeste walk toward the door. Anger and a sense of self-preservation she knew she needed to start listening to—if not for herself then for Little Bit.

“Celeste, wait.” She hustled—okay, waddled—after Celeste and reached Jacob’s mother just before the woman pulled the door open. Stepping in front of the door so Celeste couldn’t leave, she pinned the older woman with her eyes, not letting Celeste strike out and run away this time. “I know you don’t want to hear this but I’m going to say it again anyway. I’m sorry I hurt you. I’m sorry I hurt everyone. I made a mistake. I’m human. Humans make mistakes. If I could go back and change what I did, I would. But I can’t. All I can do is try to be a better person now. No one feels worse about what happened than I do.”

Celeste’s eyes narrowed. “I find that very hard to believe.”

“It’s true.” Protectively, Ginny placed a hand on her belly to settle Little Bit, who was still flopping around like a Mexican jumping bean. “I know you don’t want to believe it, but I loved your son. He was my best friend. He looked out for me. He kept me grounded. Even when I made stupid choices or got myself in trouble, he was always there for me, lifting me back up and making sure I knew someone cared.”

Tears burned Ginny’s eyes, and it took everything she had to blink them away instead of letting them fall down her cheeks as she forced herself to go on. “I wasn’t perfect, but neither was Jacob, and no one knew that better than he did. I don’t know what would have happened between me and Jacob if he hadn’t died, but I do know what he’d say to me now if he were here. He’d tell me I was a complete idiot for what I let happen with the senator but he wouldn’t want to crucify me for it. He’d want me to do exactly what I’m trying to do now—which is to pick up the pieces I let shatter and make things right for this baby. Jacob had the biggest heart I’ve ever known. Deep down I know he would have forgiven me eventually, especially knowing there’s a chance this baby could be his. And whether you want to believe it or not, there
is
still a chance this is his baby. One I’m holding on to with everything I have in me.”

Celeste stared at her long minutes in silence. At the counter, Kristin and Sara Jane didn’t move. Ginny wasn’t even sure they breathed. She herself was having trouble breathing as she waited for Jacob’s mother to say something—anything.

“And what if that child inside you is not Jacob’s?” Celeste finally said. “What then?”

Ginny swallowed hard because she didn’t want to think about what would happen if this baby wasn’t Jacob’s. But she had to. She had to start thinking about the future and how she was going to protect Little Bit from the senator should the paternity test confirm her greatest fear.

Reflexively, she smoothed her hand over her belly, trying to settle herself and Little Bit at the same time. “Then I’ll still love it because that’s what Jacob would want me to do. He’d want me to be the best mother I could be. Just like you were a great mother to him.”

Celeste’s eyes filled with tears, and her lip quivered. Looking quickly away, she blinked rapidly and cleared her throat. In a raspy voice, she said, “Sara Jane, I’m ready to go. Kristin, thank you.”