BLAKE: Captive to the Dark (17 page)

“Sir.” The throaty call sounded so seductive
, I ground my hips into the mattress. Her tight nipple brushed against my lips and I opened my mouth, teasing the hard nub with the tip of my tongue. The action had Kaitlyn pushing her breast more toward me and my teeth gently pulled her nipple.

Fingers laced in my hair while I took my time going back and forth between her breasts. I could probably spend hours just enjoying the way she moved against what I was doing.

My hands reached up, locking around her wrists. I expected a fight, for her to grip harder, but she let go and allowed me to move her hands to her sides while my mouth traveled even further down her body. The smell of the cherry blossom soap I’d bought just for her had me breathing in deeply, intoxicated by the scent. To think I’d just grabbed the bottle because it was the first one I’d seen didn’t even seem real. I now associated the smell with Kaitlyn. It was as though the perfumed fragrance was meant for only her.

“Tell me you want me.” I sucked against her lower stomach causing her to moan.

“I do, Sir. I want you.”

My teeth grazed against her skin and the temptation to bite was there. I settled for tiny nibbling until I reached just to the right of her slit. My lips added pressure while I pushed down
, making a path across her folds. Kaitlyn shifted her hips and I sucked against her clit. A small cry filled the room and I basked in it. Knowing what I could do to her, pleasure or pain, and how she loved all of it was all too consuming. I wanted her to feel everything I was capable of giving. Rough sex was what I knew, what I had to do, but I wasn’t limited to it.

She mentioned not being able to do missionary without pain. It was too vanilla. All I saw was a challenge. I wanted to ruin her in all aspects. Show her not to doubt me in anything I did. Love making wasn’t something I’d practiced. Not once. But for Kaitlyn…it was something I suddenly needed to do. Maybe it was just for me, maybe it was for both of us. The answers weren’t readily available, just the compulsion to keep going and to be slow. Tender. Gentle.
Loving
.

My tongue stopped just short of her entrance. God, I was falling and not just obsessively. That was a given with my personality. The
rolling in my stomach, the pure unadulterated necessity to convince her that this was right…that we were meant to be together wasn’t just out of convenience to have a partner who accepted who I was. For the first time, I was starting to see that I wanted something more out of having her with me. Something deeper than her approval of my beast. I wanted Kaitlyn to fall in love with me. Fully. To every part of me. As I had with her.

Slowly, I outlined her opening
with my tongue, only to push inside. The care I put into pleasing her felt right. My thumb rubbed against her clit and I continued to take my time licking and sucking every inch of her pussy. From the sounds and how wet she was, I knew she was enjoying it. I could taste how close she was to coming.

“Not yet, kitten.” I spread her legs wide and moved my tongue to her back entrance. A gasp was followed by her trying to scoot more up on the bed. My hand locked on her hip, keeping her still. “Don’t move again or else I’m not going to be very happy. Now, lay there and feel.”

And, she did. The tension left her body as I lifted her legs again and worked my tongue over the tight entrance of her ass. The rhythm of her hips increased and the moans grew louder. I lifted, flipping on the lamp on the nightstand. I needed to see her. To take in every expression on her beautiful face.

Kaitlyn squinted for the briefest moment before her eyes connected with mine. My heart exploded and the slight shaking of my hands had my beast stirring. The need to use anger to mask my emotions came naturally, but I pushed it away. Not tonight. Not this time.

The light trace of my fingers down the middle of her chest had Kaitlyn taking in a shuttering breath. I rolled her hard nipples between my fingers, applying just enough pressure to cause her to cry out. She licked her lips, looking up at me with questions I couldn’t even begin to know the answers to. This was all so new, so different, that I couldn’t help but take it moment by moment.

The connection didn’t last. Her heavy lidded eyes closed and although the dominant part demanded that I make her look at me, I reined him in and lowered to cover her body once
more. I longed for the contact of her heat. Her smell. All of it enveloped me in a blanket of contentment. The underside of my cock was met with Kaitlyn’s wet pussy and she slid against my length with every bit of the impatience I felt.

“Sir, please.” Faster she moved, digging her nails in my bicep. I grabbed her wrist, shaking my head.

“Slow.” One word had the power to decrease her movements.

The head of my cock pushed through her entrance and I moaned at the warmth that encircled me. My hand let go of Kaitlyn’s and I was surprised
when she paused before lifting both of her arms to wrap around my neck. The submissive knew better and seemed to fight between what she knew was right and what she wanted.

“Tonight you’re Kaitlyn and I’m Blake. That doesn’t mean tomorrow
things are going to change. If anything, it’ll be tougher than ever before. But, tonight…” my eyes studied hers, catching the slight twinge of fear. “Tonight, I want to…” Fuck, I couldn’t say it. It was too intimate. Too deep. It riled my darkness.

“Make love?” The words fell from her mouth saturated with seduction. She liked it, I suddenly realized. Liked the phrase, or so it appeared.

“Yes. I’m going to make love to you.” Even still, the fluttering increased. Before either of us said any more, I eased deeper. It was so different than fucking her. Every inch that slid in, I felt her channel hug to me tightly, drawing me in deeper. Pure, hardcore pounding was great. My fix. But there was something about this that I didn’t mind either. It was raw in a very different way. Almost too much so.

Kaitlyn’s hands ran from the back of my neck to my cheeks. The slight pressure told me she wanted me closer. To kiss her. I didn’t think past her need. I gave it to her in a soft brush of my lips. The connection was electric.
Mind blowing. I broke away, shocked at the tiny zaps that had shocked my lips. Had she felt it, too? From the look on her face, I couldn’t tell. There was a worry there. Was it for me, or her? Fuck, I wasn’t sure how much longer I could keep doing this soft stuff. It was too much for me to take in in one night.

The urge to grip her hair, choke her
…hell, suffocate her, made my fist clench. Why was this so hard? Why…because it wasn’t me. Wasn’t normal for my genetic make-up. The monster inside felt threatened. Poisoned with the sweet emotion of love. Yes. Kaitlyn was toxic to the evil in me. If I didn’t know better, I could have sworn my heart skipped a beat at her biting her lip. Biting. Yes. Biting would be good.

My mouth took hers again as I continued to thrust deep and slow, grinding my pelvis against her clit. Her smooth legs lifted,
stroking down my sides. The shift in position allowed me to push to depths I never wanted to leave. Something at the center of my heart sparked as I brought my lips up from hers and stared into her soul. I could sense that, overall, she wasn’t good. It wasn’t in regard to the moment, she was fine now, but lurking in her shadows was the equivalent to my monster waiting to show itself. It might not be out for blood, but it would come. I knew this, and a part of me was trying to find any way I could to fix the tear in the fabric of her being. To at least prevent any self-destruction or blowback that might follow.

Whether a display of the only goodness
I
had would help or not was up for debate, but I didn’t think it could hurt. She needed to know she could trust me. Rely on me…love me. I wouldn’t hurt her spirit or let her fall. To do that would be damning myself, and I was too selfish for that. She could have it all. Believe it all. But it would come at a price that began first thing in the morning. Perhaps I was trying to make up for that too. Kaitlyn was going to undergo a lot of things I knew would break most women. What it would do to her…I wasn’t so sure. But I had to try.

“Sir?”

Throughout my thinking I’d continued thrusting, but she knew I wasn’t present. My fingers twitched to grip her throat. To tell her not to worry about me, I’d be wherever the hell I wanted when I was fucking her. I didn’t. Instead, I pushed everything away and put my focus on her solely. Kaitlyn deserved my one hundred percent. I just hoped I’d be able to give it to her before it was taken over by the darkness.

My hand squeezed her breast while I slid my tongue over her lips. Her tight pussy clenched around me and I moaned, feeling myself going faster. “Fuck, you feel so good, kitten.” I reached back, gripping behind her knee to move her leg up closer to her head. As I settled it in
to the crook of my elbow, I kept the pace steady. It was faster than I wanted, but nowhere near what I’d come close to putting her through in the past.

Kaitlyn rocked against me,
her whole body tightening. My hand gripped the back of her neck, desperate to ease up and lace though her hair so I could pull it. My eyes stayed set on her. I would not ruin what I wanted to accomplish here: making it good for her in every way. Even if it was vanilla for one night, I’d conquer the act and move on to the way I like it.

“I’m getting so close. I need…” A cry left her lips and I knew she was relying on pain to push her over. She wasn’t going to get it from me.

“You need nothing but what I’m giving you. You’ll come because I’ll tell you to. No other reason.”

Kaitlyn’s eyes flew open and held something between horror and uncertainty. “I can’t.”

“When I say, you will,” I demanded.

My cock surged forward, but didn’t increase in rhythm, I couldn’t. I was too fucking close to release
, myself. This time was different. Not at all boring, but almost taboo, as weird as that was. From the beginning, all I knew was fast, rough, fucking. Now, this, with my slave…it was special.

“Sir
, I beg you.” Tears clouded in her eyes, but one never fell. They stayed on edge, waiting to be spill over. I wouldn’t do it. Not tonight.

“You want to come, I’ll make you.” I lifted my chest and appl
ied pressure to her clit with my fingertips. At the third circle I messaged over the sensitive bud, Kaitlyn started shaking her head back and forth. I knew the moment before she came. The tightness of her channel locked around me and I was helpless to the effects. “You’re going to come right now,” I gritted past my teeth. Her big blue eyes squeezed shut and screams followed my command. Just hearing what I’d done, accompanied with the death grip around my cock, I exploded within her. The ecstasy of each shot left me fighting to see straight.

I hit the mattress hard, content on staring at the ceiling while I tried to figure out what the fuck I’d just done and
how I felt about it. Blindly, I pulled Kaitlyn to rest on my chest, but I couldn’t look at her. The animal within me was already contemplating round two, wanting to wipe the memories from the first session right out of both of our heads.

“Sir?”

“Shh.” I reached up and turned off the light. “Go to sleep, Kaitlyn. You have one hell of a day ahead of you tomorrow. You’re going to need all the rest you can get.”

My beast would make sure of it.

Chapter 12

Kaitlyn

Blake hadn’t lied when he said I had a hard day ahead of me. Sweat ran down my skin and air was impossible to take in. The road pounded beneath my feet
, feet that I couldn’t even really feel anymore. I was sure I was going to drop at any moment. Miraculously, my legs were still holding me upright and carrying me closer to his house that sat in the distance.

“You’re doing good. Keep going. Push yourself. You walked three miles in the snow
, after being tied to a bed, with a damn infection. This is only half the distance. Faster.”

Cramping locked up my side, but I kept going. Fuck, I was going to throw up. I just knew it.

“Get your ass moving, you’re slowing down.” Blake ran ahead, only to turn around, jogging backwards.
Show off.
If I got out of my zone, I’d surely collapse and never get up again.

One black ear bud rested in his ear while the other dangled at his side.
Whatever music he was listening to was beyond me. Hell,
I
wanted to hear something. I needed all the motivation I could get.

The white sleeveless T-shirt revealed his large biceps, and I didn’t miss the way his shirt would ease up at times to reveal the black shorts that rested low on his hips. Damn, he looked good. Too good. But after last night, I couldn’t help but feel off. He’d been so different. It left me confused. Uncertain. I’d never had anyone make love to me that way before. Sure
, men had thrown around the term, but what Blake had done… yes, he’d really proved to me what the saying was all about. Made me come that way, too. My mind couldn’t wrap itself around all of the emotions I was feeling.

“Good girl, now take a shower while I get your breakfast ready.”

I looked around, noticing we were standing in front of the house. My thoughts were blinding me to the outside world, leaving my brain running in a jumbled mix of voluntary and involuntary mode. I was like a walking zombie, doing what came natural, but I was anywhere but in the moment. My stomach rolled and I felt sick. Sick from the exercise. Sick of feeling so unstable, of not knowing what was going on with my blackmailer. I needed something. A release that would give me a fresh start to help me try to get my priorities in order. To wipe away all the things I didn’t want to think about anymore.

Blake’s words came back to me as I tried to cool down. “Thank you, Sir.” The shower would give me some alone time. I needed to think. To flee him. My head kept swimming in circles. So many conflicting emotions left me on the verge of a breakdown and I wasn’t sure what to do about it.

The walk to the bathroom became a blur.
I blindly reached to turn on the water. Blake’s actions in the middle of the night once again plagued me. The part that clung to my Master grew from his lovemaking. I suddenly felt myself spiraling out of control and dying to sink my claws into him. To submit fully and just obey his every wish. I hated it. Hated how I could so easily go from finding my spine in the presence of Marie, back to wanting to let Blake have control.

Hot water stung my skin
. Although my first reaction was to jump out of the way, I stayed. Forced myself to take the pain. I needed to release it. Needed to set free the fullness that pushed against the inside of my skin, threatening to destroy and eat away at my mind, to disappear so I could think again. No amount of tears was going to rid me of this feeling.

My eyes scanned the shower, lost.
For minutes, I stood there, unable to pull myself from the fog of despair I felt. As I reached for the soap, I paused, catching sight of my razor. The shaking grew worse until I almost felt like I was having some kind of mini seizure. The need to cut nearly made me crumble to pieces. Fuck, I wanted it. It’d take away these feelings, at least temporarily. The speed at which I reached for it was astounding, even to me, but I came up short, hovering just over the top.

Should
I do it? Cut myself and tumble down the dark path I’d been on so long ago? Would Blake know? I sighed. Of course he would. I was always exposed to him. Every inch of my skin was always under his penetrating glare.

Maybe if I cut somewhere really small. I could say I did it shaving. My eyes glanced toward the trash can. I’d have to destroy the cartridge this one was in and replace it with a new one. Shit.

A sob came from my mouth as I ejected the end. Without much thought, I began trying to pull it apart, already past the point of no return. Anxiety had me moving at a fast pace and the blade slid across my finger, triggering blood to bead at the top. I sucked in against the sting, but kept going.

The plastic was anything but cheap and I found myself almost screaming out in frustration as I put all of my strength into trying to break the damn thing apart. All I wanted was the razor free. Why wouldn’t it just give?

Crimson raced down my finger and smeared the two weapons I was desperate to get my hands on.

“What the fuck are you doing?” The voice boomed throughout the surroundings just as the shower do
or flew open. I jumped, sending the razor scattering to the marble floor. The grip that clasped onto my wrist nearly snapped it in two, but I barely felt it as Blake’s eyes did more damage to my inner self. Shame immediately washed over me.

“What did I tell you?” His hand laced in my hair and drew me out of the shower
, causing me to slide against the tile floor. “You are in so much trouble, kitten. You have no idea. You want to bleed? All you had to do was ask.”

Blake marched me into the kitchen, never once loosening the hold on my hair. The two plates on the bar went flying with the swipe of his hand. Toast and eggs littered the floor and I was lifted so fast
, my hands reached out wildly for something to grab onto. Cold marble under my wet skin combined with adrenaline had my jaw chattering.

“I’m sorry. Please.” I tried to sit, but he pushed me back down and reached over my body to the attached counter, pulling a knife from the wooden block it rested in. “Oh fuck.” I couldn’t stop the sobbing, but I couldn’t deny that what he was doing didn’t hold some form of relief. I
so wanted to bleed, wanted him to get rid of this overwhelming sensation that I was going to go absolutely mad.

Light reflected from the large blade and Blake didn’t hesitate to place the tip to the fleshy part of my breast, an inch from where my heart was nestled deep
.

“Do it,” I breathed out. “Take it away. I can’t do this anymore.”

“You don’t have a fucking choice, baby. You think your life is so God damn hard, I’m about to show you just how good you have it. You haven’t seen shit yet.”

I gasped
as he pressed and dragged the knife down. The warm release that traveled across my skin had me closing my eyes. The tears that flowed and the sounds that came out of my mouth were barely heard as I concentrated more on the weight that left. Already, I was feeling so much better. Lighter. Less weak.

“Open you
r fucking eyes. You don’t get to enjoy the high you’re feeling. When I said you were in trouble, I meant it. Look into my eyes, Kaitlyn, and listen close. You’re back in restraints until I say otherwise. You will not eat until I feed you. All your privileges are gone.”

My jaw dropped. “Restraints?” I pushed up, trying to scramble to the other side of the bar. Blake didn’t even let me move a fraction of an inch before he was carrying me to the room
that held all of his toys. The…cuffs. I battled whether to fight him or accept what I had coming. I had messed up. Hid my need from him when he’d only wanted to help me from the beginning. Or cut me for his pleasure. Either way, I knew what I had done was wrong.

“
Not the cuffs,” I begged as he threw the door open. “Please. Sir. It won’t happen again.”

Blake placed me on the ground
beneath the one thing I didn’t want. “Lift your hands.”

The need to plead rested on my tongue. It was one thing to be in them when pleasure was coming, but for punishment
without a time limit…it sparked true fear. His mouth opened and my hands shot up despite being afraid. I’d do this and pay for my crime.

A pout came to my lip when he didn’t say
good girl
. I hadn’t known how much I looked forward to it until that moment. Even more shame took over and I lowered my head while he fastened the buckles.

The
instant they were done, he turned his back on me and walked to the far end of the room. As he opened what I assumed was the closet door, I looked on curiously. My feet began inching back and the chains pulled at my arms as I saw the whip in his hand.

“No.” I shook my head back and forth. “No. Please. I’m sorry. Please
?”

Leather dropped at my feet and I moved away from it like it was a poisonous snake.

“Think about what you did and the difference between your life now and your life a month ago. Not before you were taken. That part’s over with. Only then and now.”

With that
, Blake left the room, slamming the door behind him. The light was drowned out and the outline of the whip was nothing but a dark coiled shadow taking on the real appearance of a snake. One that had a bite worse than the real thing. Heavy panting left me lightheaded. Wet strands of my hair hung over my chest and I could still feel beads of water littering my body. The mix between cold and a state of terror mingled amongst each other, causing me to shake worse than I ever had before.

“It’s not real. It can’t hurt me anymore.” I sniffled as I kicked at it. I wasn’t close enough to budge the damn thing. “Andon is dead. I killed him myself. No more fear. No more fear.” I pulled
harder on the restraints, trying to get away. My mind told me to scream for Blake to help me. To forgive me. That I wouldn’t disobey him again, but I couldn’t. I had to face this on my own.

The
muscles ached in my shoulders as I took a step, hearing myself whimper. Flashes of the cement walls blinded me.
Whack!
The crack of the whip exploded in my ears and I squeezed my eyes shut. “No!”

Sweat
began to mix with the drops of water while I tried to breathe. 
Such beautiful skin you have
,
zvezda moya.
The masked face was suddenly right before my eyes and I felt myself become frozen to the spot.

“It’s not real. This isn’t real.” Light shining from under the door grabbed my attention and I focused on it like an anchor.
Again, I heard my voice. “Walk forward, Kaitlyn. Don’t look down and just kick the damn thing. It can’t hurt you. No one can. Save yourself, dammit.”

My legs trembled as I took a step. The warmth
of blood running down my chest suddenly registered and I used it to keep my attention focused. Anything was better than facing the one thing that scared me the most. The whip. It was the last thing I hadn’t faced from my slavery and the impact it had on me outweighed all the others. If I should have been afraid of anything, it should have been the knife…but I wasn’t. Time under the whip was more excruciating than a few seconds of being cut with the blade.

The carpet s
ank between my toes, igniting a sudden hypersensitivity. I recoiled, trying to get a grip. The agonizing, pitiful sound that left my lips could have raked the flesh from my bones considering how impactful it was on my psyche. Had that just come from me? I was truly this afraid of braided leather? Who the fuck was I to let an object on the floor spark such terror?

From nowhere, courage sent my adrenaline
surging and I raced forward kicking the whip across the room. Stabbing sensations erupted through my arms at the pull, but I felt nothing but satisfaction. My body sagged against the relief of banishing the whip further into the shadows where I could no longer see it.

The sounds of m
y deep breathing filled my ears and I listened to it for so long that it eventually returned back to normal. Still, Blake didn’t come. What felt like hours passed and my legs shook from holding my weight. The light disappeared forever ago and I stood in the pitch black with nothing but my own mind. The betrayer of the real Kaitlyn.

Heaviness pulled at my lids and I rested my eyes for brief periods. My swaying body awoke me more than once. My arms felt dead. Lifeless. Cold. Growling from my starving stomach sporadically kept me company. How long had it been?  Was Blake even still here? What if he’d left to run some errand and something happened?

The thought made me sick. Not because I’d rot in this room before someone found me, but because even though he’d done this to me, the realization that he wouldn’t be in my life anymore was too much to bear. Who would guide me? Make me face my fears? I should have hated him, yet I didn’t. I respected him. Maybe because he gave a shit enough to make me face the whip. Or, because he had made love to me when I thought him incapable of showing that sort of care or emotion. Hell…I swallowed hard, trying to process what my mind was clearly showing me.

Was it possible I didn’t view Blake as my crutch anymore, but more as a possible…partner
? Like a boyfriend or significant other? I wasn’t going through this because I was afraid he’d send me home. I was hanging from these cuffs because he was my Master and I knew what I’d done came with consequences. I accepted that from a man who I wanted in my life by choice. Not need. Not anymore.