Blackwater Lights (13 page)

She gave him a quick glance.

“I’m sorry if I scared you, William.”

William looked out the window. “It’s cool.” He was quieter than usual, still spooked.

With every mile they drove away from the rocks Ray felt the tension and fear draining from him. When they turned back onto the four-lane highway, he even began to get hungry. “Let’s have a picnic somewhere else,” he said.

Ellen lifted an eyebrow. “Are you sure?”

“Absolutely. It looks like it might rain, but I want to have some fun before it does. Right, William?”

William shrugged. “Sure. As long as you’re not gonna barf again.”

After a picnic in the municipal park, they piled back into the truck just as rain began to splatter against the windshield. No one had spoken about the earlier incident.

“I’m going to drop William off at my sister’s,” Ellen said.

William groaned. “Can’t I stay with you guys?”

“I told Aunt Peggy you were coming over.”

“I hate it there,” he said. “All she does is watch TV.”

Ellen narrowed her eyes. She was cute when she was angry, her eyes squinty and her cheeks pushed out. “You can get some writing done. Ray and I have some talking to do.”

Talking to do?

William crossed his arms and stared out the window.

After they dropped off William, Ellen drove away from her sister’s house and stopped at the end of the road. “I’d like to make you dinner. I don’t know how much longer you’re going to be around, and I’d like to spend as much time with you as I can before you leave.” The windshield wipers squeaked. “I’m sorry if that’s too forward, but that’s just the way I am.”

He laughed. “I like you the way you are. Yes, of course I’ll have dinner.”

She smiled and brushed the hair out of her eyes. “One more thing. While I’m on a roll. I want you to kiss me. Before I have to kiss you. Because you can’t seem to take a hint to save your life. So, please. I’m old-fashioned like that. Be a gentleman and do it.”

He kissed her. Her lips opened, and he slid his hands behind her back and pulled her closer. They kissed hard. Before long they were as close to each other as the shifter allowed.

She pulled away first. “Let’s go back to my place, shall we?”

“Only if you promise more of that.”

She raised one eyebrow. “I don’t promise. You have to earn another.”

“I’ll be on my best behavior, ma’am.”

She pulled his hand from her thigh and placed it on his lap. “I certainly hope that isn’t the case.”

“You’re a great cook,” Ray said.

“I know. Glad you liked it. I learned everything from my mother, and she learned it all from Julia Child.”

Her kitchen was small but bright and tidy. William’s robot battle sketches hung on the walls and the refrigerator. “I really like William.”

“He thinks you’re the
bomb
.” She stretched out the word. “Except for the puking thing. He thought you were invincible before that.”

Ray laughed.

“I’m really happy you showed up at Doris’s. I knew you were special right off the bat.”

Special
. Lily had called him that, too. “I’m no more special than anyone else. But I do feel especially lucky that I met you.”

She stood, hands on her hips. “I think these dishes can wait until tomorrow.”

“I agree. I can think of some other things I’d rather be doing.”

She stepped behind him and slid her arms around his chest. She whispered in his ear, “You may proceed with that other kiss now, sir. I’ll take it from there.”

Rain and wind rattled the bedroom windows. Ellen propped her elbow on the pillow and kissed Ray’s forearm. Her face and chest were still flushed from their lovemaking. “What about the last girlfriend? How long ago was it?”

“We broke up a little over a year ago,” he said. “We were together for five years.”

“Why didn’t you get married? You didn’t want to?”

“She didn’t want to.”

“Why?”

He shrugged. “Lots of reasons. Different goals. Her lifestyle was a little too fast for my taste. And she didn’t want kids.”

Ellen leaned closer. “Neither did I,” she said. “Not then, at least. Not when I got pregnant. But now I can’t imagine life without William.”

“He’s a great kid. Really sharp. And I can see where he gets it.”

She slid closer. The smell of her skin made him want to never get out of bed. “You
wanted to have children?”

“I didn’t think I did. Didn’t think too much about it, really. But then my sister’s son got leukemia. He was really sick.”

Ellen kissed his arm again. “Oh, I’m sorry.”

“He’s okay now,” Ray said. “Beautiful boy. And lucky. When I was his age, it would have been a death sentence. But he had good insurance—my sister’s a public-school teacher, too—and he got excellent treatment. He’s almost sixteen now. No more cancer.”

“And that changed you.”

“Yeah. We don’t have a big family, so I went to see him a lot in the hospital to relieve my sister. He was amazing—even during the worst of his chemo, he kept our spirits up. Being with him was like therapy for the rest of us. And it made me start thinking about what I wanted.” He blinked and rubbed his eyes. “And I didn’t just want to be
around
kids. I get plenty of that teaching, I can assure you. But at the end of the day, they all went home to their families, and I went home to a house with just me and Lisa. She was always working on her art, and I’d grade papers and plan my lessons, and I realized we were both getting older, and one day it would be just the two of us in a big, empty house. I didn’t like that picture.”

“So what was she like? Your girlfriend?”

Ray sighed. “Fun. She was an artist. A painter. Big, wild abstract canvases. I think she always hated the fact that she was stuck in Baltimore with me. Most of her good friends lived in New York. She moved there after we split up. I know she’s happier.”

“I went to New York once,” Ellen said. “With my cousin. We stole my aunt’s credit card and took the bus from Morgantown. We spent all day at the Harley-Davidson Café because it was the only place we could find that took Discover cards. I was grounded for three months after that.”

Ray laughed.

“So that’s the thing that broke up your relationship? Kids?”

Ray stared at the cracks in the ceiling. “Yeah. Among other things. But I didn’t want to miss out on having a family.”

“Well, I can tell you’d make a great father. You have a gentleness about you. And you really listen to William. Most adults just ignore him.” She stroked his hair.

He kissed her hand. “What about William’s father?”

Her expression flattened. “It’s a long story. And not a good one.”

“That’s okay. I’m not going anywhere.”

“We knew each other in high school. And hated each other’s guts. But he was a really sweet guy. When I finally learned that sweet guys were better than jerks—and you’d be surprised how long that took—we got together. Things got serious really fast. But then he joined the army after 9/11. Nothing I said could stop him—he wanted to fight. I got pregnant right before he shipped out to Iraq, so that was the end of my nursing school days. He came back on leave and we got married.” She wiped at her eyes. “He was gone for a year and a half, came home, then deployed again. When he came back the second time, he was a different person. It was like somebody I didn’t know just showed up inside his body. He wouldn’t even look me in the eye. Wouldn’t touch me. He was a stranger. And William didn’t understand it.”

“I’m sorry,” Ray said.

“William tried to break through. He really did. But Steve—my ex—he’d seen too much in Iraq.
Felt
too much. He needed help, but he was too ashamed to ask for it, and the nearest VA hospital is hours away. He just withdrew from us. I tried, for William’s sake, to help him. I tried to stay cheerful and be the good wife, to try to help him remember who he used to be. The man I loved. But he wasn’t that person anymore and couldn’t pretend to be. And I couldn’t pretend, either. He agreed to a divorce, no contest.”

“How did William take it?”

“Like every kid does. He was devastated. His world fell apart.” She shook her head. “He loved his father, or the person he wanted his father to be. But he’s a smart boy. I think he understands that it’s not Steve’s fault. I think he understands that the things that
happened
to his daddy are the problem.”

“He’s perceptive,” Ray said.

“I call him gifted. I trust his instincts more than my own. Which is why I knew you were okay. He took a liking to you right away. He doesn’t do that with just anybody.”

“He’s lucky to have you. Really lucky.”

She sighed. “It’s hard. Even with his father helping out, we barely make ends meet. I feel bad bringing him to work, but sometimes I can’t afford not to. I wish I could get back into nursing, but it’s not going to happen. At least not until he’s grown up.”

Ray kissed her, his tongue lingering. He slid his hand under the sheets and down across
her stomach. “You can be my nurse. In fact, there’s something I need you to take a look at. Right here. It’s kind of embarrassing.”

“Hmm,” she said. “Looks a little swollen. Let me have a closer look.”