Authors: James Roy
âYes, all right,' she said, giving me a kiss on the cheek and quickly hugging Nan. I'll be back as soon as I can,' she called, as she climbed up into the truck next to Granddad.
âSee you tomorrow,' he called. Then he gave us a quick wave and they drove off down the long driveway. Soon they'd disappeared over the hill, and me and Nan were left standing alone on the porch.
âWill then, Billy, how about something to eat?'
âI'm not hungry.' Then, knowing that she was about to use the line about growing boys, I added, âBut I'd love some porridge.'
She slipped an arm around me and led me inside. âGood boy,' she said.
That night the twins and I slept in the big house. They were sleeping top-to-tail in the bedroom closest to Nan's, and I slept alone in the next room, the one which had been my mother's when she was still living at home. I lay there for a long time, trying to go to sleep. I heard Nan humming to herself as she finished off in the kitchen for the night. She didn't seem at all worried about spending the night in that great big house without Granddad, and I was able to convince myself that she felt safe because I was there.
Granddad had left me a list of chores to do while he was away. Basically they were the same ones I usually had to do, plus a coup le that he'd normally have done himself, but Ma thought it was enough to earn me the day off school. I didn't have to worry too much, because Stan Whittaker from the next farm over dropped by just after breakfast to see how I was doing.
I was at the kitchen table eating eggs on toast and drinking warm mills when we heard a knock at the back door. Through the screen door I could see Stan's tall, thin frame.
âOh, hell o! Come on in, Stan, love,' Nan said, and Stan tools off his hat, opened the door and stepped into the kitchen, lowering his head as he came through the doorway. He didn't need to do that â it was just something he always did. Granddad said it was because he'd grown up in England, where doorways were lower and people had to duck their heads as they went from room to room. I asked him why they didn't just build houses with higher doorways, and he said he wasn't sure.
âMorning, Melva,' Stan said. âMorning there, Billy-o.'
âMorning, Mr Whittaker,' I replied. âWhat's up?'
He looked a bit surprised to hear me ask this. I suppose I was bit surprised to hear
myself
ask it. âWhat's up?' was what Granddad always said to visitors, and it just slipped out without me even thinking about it.
âWhat's up is that I've come over to see how you're going with them jobs and that,' he said, once he'd recovered.
âOh, that's kind. That's kind, isn't it, Billy?' Nan said.
âYeah, it is,' I agreed.
âTea, Stan?' Nan asked, and I knew what was coming.
âLook, I won't, Melva, but ta anyway.'
Nan slid the kettle onto the hob (she knew what was coming as well) and Stan said, âRight o then, if it's no bother.'
âNo bother at all, love. How's your mum?'
âYeah, good thanks, Melva.' Stan placed his hat gently on the sideboard and sat down. His hands were folded in front of him on the table, and I still remember those hands, with their knuckles and nails and cracked fingertips all outlined hard with dirt. âSo, Billy-o, coping all right with the farm and that? The boss, eh? All on your own, eh?'
I shook my head. âNot
all
on my own. I've got Nan. And anyway, it's only till this arvo, when Granddad gets back after dropping Ma at the boat.'
He smiled quickly. A couple of his front teeth were missing. âYeah, I know your Nan's here, but I mean being the only fella. How's
that
going?'
âIt's fine,' I said.
âYeah, big job, being the only bloke.'
âI suppose.'
âSo your mum's gone away, eh?'
âYeah, she's gone to Sydney. She's gone to get my dad,' I said.
âOh yeah? That right? Jeez, that's got to be exciting, eh? Been away a while, hasn't he, eh?'
âYes,' I said.
âCrook, is he?'
âWe don't know yet,' Nan interrupted. âA bit shell-shocked, I'd say.'
âYeah, I reckon so,' Stan said with a sincere nod.
âHere's your tea, love,' Nan said, and Stan flashed her a toothless grin and a wink. I didn't like that smile, or that wink.
Chapter 6 Danny
âWhy was that?' Danny asked. âWhy didn't you like his smile or his wink?'
âIt's just that he was rather ⦠rather creepy, that's all,' Mr McAuliffe said. He glanced at his watch. âYou're not bored with the story, are you?'
âNo!' Danny replied. âNo, it's really interesting. Keep going. If you want to, that is.'
âAll right. But do you need another milkshake to go on with? Because I plan to have some more tea.'
âOkay, sure,' Danny replied. âThanks.'
Mr McAuliffe gestured to the waitress, and she picked up a slip of paper from the counter and came over. âYou can pay at the register,' she said, holding out the bill.
âOh, we're not done just yet. No, I'd like another pot of Darjeeling and another chocolate milkshake, please. And two more of those excellent Anzacs, thanks.'
The waitress took the pencil from behind her ear and added to the bill. âNo worries,' she said. âComing right up.'
âThank you. Now, where was I?'
âIn the kitchen with Stan,' Danny said.
âOh yes, in the kitchen with Stan Whittaker and my grandmother.'
Chapter 7 Billy
Granddad arrived home late that evening. I wasn't in bed yet, but I wasn't far off when I heard the truck drive up. Going to the bedroom window, I looked out between the curtains. I heard the front door of the house open as Nan went to meet Granddad. He parked the truck and crossed the yard to hug Nan, and after they'd said something I couldn't hear, they came inside.
I went to the door and opened it, just a crack. My room was quite close to the kitchen, so I could hear their conversation as Nan rustled together some dinner for Granddad. âThe road wasn't too bad,' Granddad said. âLong drive, though.'
âHow did she seem?'
âOh, she was all right, once she got on the boat. Nervous, I suppose, poor pet.'
âYou would be, wouldn't you? â Nan said.
âOh, too right,' Granddad replied. I heard the soft scratch and hiss of a match as he lit his pipe. I wondered how long it would be before Nan told him to take it outside.
âHow long will it take her to get there?' Nan asked.
âDon't know, to be honest. She'll get to Melbourne tomorrow, I suppose, then there'll be a train to Sydney. A couple more days, I expect, till she's there.'
âPoor love.'
âYes, but she's got her man back, so that's something.'
âHow do you think he'll be, love? Really, I mean.'
I heard Granddad sigh. âWho knows, Melv? Just have to wait and see, I reckon. How's Billy been?'
âGood as gold,' Nan said. âWorks hard, that boy. Got all the jobs done like a real trooper. Took it real serious, he did.'
âI knew he would. Did Stan turn up?'
âYes, love, he dropped over just like you arranged.'
âDidn't want to ask him,' Granddad said, âbut I didn't feel like I had much choice.'
âStan's all right, Tom.'
âYou reckon?'
âI do. I don't know what you've got against him. It's not his fault he's a bit slow. And he works hard, with his old mum over there and everything else.'
âWell, I just don't like him, a bit slow or not.'
âI think he's all right, Tom. And I do wish you'd take that stinking thing out on the porch. I'll bring your tea out in a bit.'
âAll right, love.' Granddad's chair scraped back as he stood up, and I heard the screen door slap shut behind him.
I climbed into bed then, pulled the covers right up under my chin, and listened to Granddad pacing slowly up and down the wide verandah in his socks. The strong smell of his pipe smoke drifted into my room. I wondered if Dad was in Sydney doing the same thing as me at that moment, lying in a bed in a room that wasn't his, just going over things in his mind. I remember thinking again about the returned soldiers putting their heads on their own pillows at long last. A shiver of excitement darted through me as I tried to grasp that finally, at last, my own dad would be coming home, and lying down in
his
bed, in
his
house. In our house, beside Ma, and in the room right next to mine. And I realised then that even though I'd kept telling myself that he would come back in the end, deep inside I'd begun to believe that he never would. It was almost like I felt I should stop myself thinking about it, in case it was all just a dream, and on awakening I'd discover that everything I'd begun to believe really was the truth.
The next day was Sunday, and, just like we did every week, we went to church. Nan pressed my best short pants and shirt, and I helped her get the twins sorted. Hattie wasn't hard to get ready â she was usually pretty cooperative â but Meg was being a cheeky little beggar, as Ma always called her. I'd just get the belt on her dress tied up, and she'd wait until I turned my back before she'd give it a yank and run away giggling, the belt trailing behind her like the tail on a kite. Ordinarily this would have made me pretty mad, but I had other things on my mind. For a start, I couldn't wait to tell Doug that my dad was coming home.
Evansbridge was just like most small towns, I guess, because in the end I didn't have to tell anyone anything. As Granddad brought the truck to a stop in the field beside the church, several grown-ups and a couple of kids rushed over to the cab, where Nan and Granddad had the twins squeezed in between them. âIs it true?' they wanted to know. âIs Freddy Mack coming home?' âWe heard that Alice has gone to get him.' âHow is he? Is there any word?' âWhen will they be back?' And on it went.
Luckily, when most grown-ups looked at me they just saw a twelve-year-old boy, and since twelve-year-old boys don't know anything about anything, they left me alone. I slid down from the tray of the truck and went to find Doug.
He was over the back in the graveyard, sitting on a headstone and talking to Barry Morrie, who was also in our grade at school. Doug saw me come around the corner of the church. âHey,' he said.
âHey,' I replied. âGidday, Barry.'
Barry was chewing on a stalk of grass. He looked up when I spoke to him. His eyes narrowed a bit, but he didn't say anything.
âGidday, Barry,' I repeated, in case he hadn't heard me.
Barry straightened up and spat the grass out. Then he jammed his hands deep in his pockets and sauntered away. Not a sound did he make.
âWhat's going on?' I asked Doug, and he looked at the ground. âDoug?'
âNothing,' he muttered. âIt's nothing.'
âLike hell it's nothing,' I said, suddenly feeling guilty for using
that
word in a churchyard. âDoug, what's going on?'
âLook, I don't want to be the one to tell you this, and it's not me that's saying it â'
âSaying what?'
âLike I said, it's not me, but Barry reckons â¦' He stopped, shifting uncomfortably. âLook, don't worry about it, awright?'
âWhat's Barry saying?' I asked. âDoug?'
âWell, he's reckons that, compared with other blokes, maybe your dad got the easy way out.'
âThe what? The easy way out? The easy way out of what?' I said, trying not to shout in a church graveyard, but suddenly finding it a bit difficult to control my voice.
âThe war and that. He says he spent the war getting a suntan and drinking rice wine. How
do
they make wine out of â'
I didn't let him finish that sentence. âBarry's a ⦠a flaming
liar
!' I spat. âHe doesn't know what he's talking about.'
âNo, probably not,' Doug agreed meekly.
âDo you agree with him?' I asked.
Doug shrugged. Then he shook his head. âNo, mate, I think he's just repeating what his dad's been saying. You're right â he doesn't know what he's talking about.'
âWhat would his dad know anyway?' I said.
âHe
didn't even join up.'
âHe tried to, but he had flat feet,' Doug replied. âBarry said they wouldn't let him.'
âHe's a bank manager, and he wouldn't know the first thing about fighting.'
âNo, of course not,' Doug murmured.
âDo you think he's right?' I asked again. âDoug? You don't seem sure.'
Doug raised his eyes and looked at me. He looked as guilty as anything. I know is what my brothers told me, Billy. They told me about what it was like in New Guinea, fighting in the jungle and that. James said they were almost killed heaps of time, and there were Japs everywhere, and sometimes they had to defend their foxholes twenty, thirty times in one night, and all that. But your dad ⦠well, you know, he was caught years ago and didn't have to fight, did he? Not once he was caught, anyway. And it can't have been too hard in those camps, otherwise he wouldn't have survived, would he?'
âYou're a flaming liar too, then,' I said.
âBilly, don't say that!'
âBut you are!' I retorted, so angry now that I'd forgotten not to shout. âAnd so is everyone who says my dad's not as much of a hero as anyone else who came back.'
Doug nodded. âAwright, mate, awright,' he said, glancing nervously over his shoulder.
âIt's not bloody all right,' I said, and I spun around and marched off towards the front of the church, where people were still gathered excitedly around Nan and Granddad.
âGood morning, Billy,' said Mrs Grayson, who was there with her awful grinning husband. âI just heard about your father. That's good news, isn't it?'
I ignored her and kept going on my mission of vengeance.
Barry Morrie's father was in the group, chatting with Granddad. He was smiling, and even though I didn't hear exactly what he was saying, I could tell from his tone and the way he was standing that he was probably telling Granddad how great it was to hear the good news about his son-in-law. Barry was standing by his side, his hands still in his pockets. He looked as innocent as a chorister.
I strode towards them, my face hot as fire and my hands clenched into fists. I hadn't worked out what I was going to do once I got there, but I was pretty sure I wasn't going to be shaking Barry's hand and thanking him for his best wishes.
âHere he is!' Mr Morrie said as he saw me approaching. âHere's the man of the moment! Billy, how's it feel to know that your old man's on his way home?'
âJust great,' I snarled.
âTerrific!' he said, resting one hand on my shoulder. âYou must be very proud of him.'
âI think he's a bloody hero,' I replied, glaring at Barry, who by now had noticed that I was none too happy with him and was beginning to shift nervously from one foot to the other. âAn absolute bloody hero.'
I heard several of the ladies take a quick sharp breath as I used that word not once but twice.
âI say!' said Mr Morrie, blinking like crazy. âI know you're excited, young man, but really!'
âBilly!' said Granddad. âI don't think you need to talk that way. Apologise now.'
âI'm just trying to let everyone know how I feel.'
âWell, I think you managed
that,'
Granddad said, smiling at the group.
âBecause some people think my dad's
not
a hero, and that he's been sitting around on his backside getting a suntan' â here Barry looked doubly guilty â âwhile everyone else has been off fighting the war.'
âI don't think anyone has been saying â' Granddad began, but I cut him off.
âHe
has,' I said, pointing at Barry. âHim and his old man.'
âI say!' exclaimed Mr Morrie again. âExcuse me, youngster!' He didn't have his hand on my shoulder any more, and he sure wasn't smiling.
That's what Barry was saying, wasn't it, Barry?' I said. âDoug told me.'
Barry looked a bit ill. Then he almost smirked, got it under control and cleared his throat. âWell, he's not exactly a war hero, though, is he? I mean â'
He never got to finish what he was saying, mainly because it's hard to complete a sentence when one of your teeth is poking out through your bottom lip. He slumped to his knees with a hand to his face, a choked sob slipping out as bright blood ran down his chin.
âDo you want another one now, or do you want to wait until my father gets home?' I snarled down at him, my fist cocked back ready to slug him again.
I felt hands pulling me back and I heard my grandparents apologising to everyone within earshot as they bundled me into the cab of the truck. Granddad started the engine, and we left the church behind as he and I drove in silence out of town.
A few minutes later he pulled over to the side of the road, lush green paddocks on either side of us. He looked over at me, sitting there with my head down. My ears were still scorching hot with anger.
âThat was a bit stupid, don't you reckon?' Granddad said. âHuh?'
âMaybe,' I muttered. I wasn't crying â I was determined I wouldn't â but I could feel that my teeth were still clenched hard together.
âMaybe? Knocking seven bells out of the bank manager's son, right in front of his father? It wasn't exactly smart, so I guess that would make it stupid, don't you think?'
âMaybe,' I said again. âBut he shouldn't have said what he said. He thinks Dad's not a hero, but he is, isn't he?'
âOf course he is, mate. But perhaps you should let your old man fight his own battles when he gets home.'
âWhat if he can't?'
Granddad nodded. âGood point, Billy, but let's not get carried away. I don't know what your old man's been through in the last few years, but remembering him the way I do, I reckon he'd probably have been prouder of you if you'd just walked away.'
âYou don't think he'd have been proud that I punched Barry Morrie in the mouth?'
Granddad smiled. Then he leaned closer to me, as if there were people gathered around listening in on our conversation, and lowered his voice. âI think a part of him might have been quite proud, all the same. I know I was. Which doesn't mean you should do it again, all right?'
âAll right,' I agreed.
Granddad didn't take me back to church, for which I was very grateful. Instead he took me home and left me there. âDon't do anything stupid,' he said. âJust take some time to yourself. We'll see you afterwards.'
âAll right,' I said, feeling pretty silly by then. Embarrassed too, and already thinking about Monday, and having to face Barry Morrie at school. I went straight to my not-so-secret place and spent the rest of the morning in there, reading comics and trying not to think about anything other than Vincenzo Magnifico and
his
problems.
Nan wasn't quite as understanding as Granddad. I heard the truck pull up by the house and emerged from my hideout.
âWhere is he?' Nan said as she slammed the door. Then she spotted me from the other side of the yard and started toward me. Boy, was she angry! Below her Sunday hat and Sunday hair her face was like a month of rainy Mondays. âWilliam Frederic le McAuliffe!' she shouted. âSuch a display of confounded cowardice I've never seen in all my days! Mr Morrie's son, of all the people you could choose to belt! And on the Lord's Day!'