Authors: Violet Walker
E
liza thought she could still hear Rachelle’s heart beating as she ran down the apartment complex steps. And she could still smell the blood. The smell had seeped into her nostrils and wouldn’t leave. She took a deep breath of refinery-scented air. Her face burned and she could feel her blood coursing through her body.
She was grateful to see Levi still leaning against her car, waiting for her. Contrary to what she had assumed about vampires, he was perfectly comfortable in the sunlight. The light seemed to make him seem more alive. His pale skin glowed and she wondered if vampires could get sunburn.
Her desire for blood turned into a desire for Levi. How did he have this hold on her? She had just attacked her sister and all she could think about was unbuckling his belt and running her fingers along his abdomen.
Eliza knew that the intensity of her feelings was not all about him. Levi was breathtaking and so kind…especially for a monster. But these feelings were more about her. The vampire blood had changed the way she perceived the world. She felt everything more intensely. Which meant sex had gone from nice to mind-blowing. Every time he touched her, all of her nerves fired with pleasure. The blood in her body rushed into all of her delicate areas. He could barely breathe on her and her nipples would harden and she’d feel that warmth between her legs.
Momentarily distracted from her distress, she leaned her body against his, enjoying the feeling of his body against her breasts and abdomen. She kissed him like they’d been apart for thirty years, not thirty minutes—a deliberate lingering kiss where she made a point to savor every cell of his lips and tongue.
After she pulled away, he sighed deeply and leaned in toward her like she was magnetic. She knew that he wanted her as badly as she wanted him, which made her all the more aroused.
“You’re back awfully quickly,” he said.
The memory of what had happened rushed back into her punch-drunk brain. The guilt and shame choked her. She almost didn’t want to tell him. She didn’t want to tell anyone.
“Can you take me back?” she asked.
“I thought you wanted to get some clothes and toiletries.”
“I can buy new clothes and toiletries.”
Levi pursed his lips in concern, but didn’t press the issue. He opened the door of her own rental car for her and Eliza climbed back in. She thought she could still smell her sister’s blood, and then she realized that it wasn’t in her imagination. She had a burnt orange streak of blood on the inside of her forearm and the dirt under her nails wasn’t dirt, but her sister’s blood. She gasped when she saw the evidence of her crimes and wanted to run out of the car. She would go jump in the pool, find a hose, anything to get that blood off her as soon as possible.
However, it was too late, Levi stared at her arms, his face even colder than usual.
“What happened?” he asked tonelessly.
She didn’t like his shift in tone. He went from warm to cold so quickly. She already felt terrible about what she did and she didn’t think she could handle his judgment too. Since she had met him, he had been looking upon her with admiration, almost with awe, and now he looked at her with fear and disgust. She couldn’t handle it.
“I…I got upset. She wanted to take me back to the hospital. She wouldn’t take no for an answer. I just wanted to get away, I didn’t mean to hurt her.”
“Did you drink from her?”
“No! No. I wanted to…but I didn’t. I didn’t mean to attack her at all. It just happened.”
Levi stared at the steering wheel, his mouth in a hard line.
“I’m sorry,” she said, although she didn’t know why she was apologizing to him. He’s not the one she attacked. But she would say anything to get him to give her that warm, loving smile again.
He swallowed and looked nauseous. Dear God…she disgusted him so much she was going to make him vomit. She wanted to run. To hide.
“Do we need to call an ambulance for her?” he asked.
“No…I don’t think so. I cut into her arm with my nails. She might need stitches…I’m not sure.”
He nodded. “That’s good.”
“It’s not good. She’ll never speak to me again. And why should she? I attacked her. And of course she didn’t believe me about the Gate World and vampires. I barely believe me.”
“You told her about the Gate World?”
“Yes.”
“You’re really not supposed to do that.”
“Well, it doesn’t matter because she didn’t believe me for a second. You know, I was thinking. What if I just gave her a taste of vampire blood? Would my blood work? Or do I need some of yours? I could just put a drop in her morning coffee.”
Levi grabbed her wrist.
“Don’t do that,” Eliza said. “I don’t appreciate being grabbed.”
“I’m sorry. Even with practice, I can misjudge my strength…but you need to stop saying these things. I know you don’t realize what you’re saying. But vampires have laws, just like humans. But we don’t always get the benefit of judge and jury. The Queen’s word is law.”
“Queen?”
He nodded. “Vampires are supposed to hunt and move through the human world with as little notice as possible.”
“How can you do that if you’re biting people all the time?”
“We do have some powers of modifying memory, although it’s not as dramatic as what you see in the movies. It’s more like hypnosis. Not everyone is susceptible. Most vampires select a few easy targets to visit frequently. Even if we do fail to modify memory, it’s amazing what you can get away with if you’re supposed to be imaginary. Even if people do claim to have been attacked by a vampire, no one believes them. Even more likely, the person doesn’t say anything for fear of sounding crazy. Some repress the memory or just convince themselves it was a dream.”
“Well, you’re right. Rachelle certainly didn’t believe me.”
“We’re also only allowed to hunt once a month, which is enough to sustain us. We’re not allowed to share our blood, kill humans, or make humans into vampires. Creating half-deads is especially forbidden. Vampires don’t like the idea of humans being able to enter our world as they please.”
“But you’re allowed to come into ours and treat us like an all-you-can-eat buffet.”
“I know it’s not fair. But to be precise, it’s far from an all-you-can-eat buffet. Like I said before, we have strict portion control.”
“I got a blood transfusion after the accident. I think that’s how I got the vampire blood.”
“Vampires don’t exactly go around donating to blood banks. It’s forbidden, and unlike feeding requirements, vampires aren’t tempted to break that law. The last thing we want is lots of half-deads running around. The more humans can see us, the harder it is for us to hunt.”
“Can I just go back with you? I want to take a shower.”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
Her stomach lurched in a completely different way now. His rejection was physically painful. It felt like she’d been kicked in the gut.
“What do you mean?” she asked.
“I’ve already put you in enough danger. Now that you’ve attacked your sister, it looks like you really are a half-dead. And as such, you have no business being anywhere near the Queen. She already knows you exist, so it might be too late.”
“Maybe we can go to a hotel?” Eliza suggested. She didn’t like the sound of her voice. She sounded meek. Pathetic. Desperate. That wasn’t her.
“Is there somewhere else you can go? Perhaps your father’s house.”
“I don’t understand what’s happening right now,” she said, although she did understand, she just couldn’t accept it. She was being dumped. This was the classic bang and drop routine. It had seemed like he had really cared for her, but he was probably really good at the game. After all, he had been playing wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am for three hundred years. He knew how to say the right things and look the right looks to get a woman to give it up quick.
“I’m so sorry, Eliza. I want to take you back home with me, I really do.”
“It’s fine. You can save it. I’ll drop you back off at your house and then I’ll leave you alone. I can take a hint.”
“I don’t think you understand.”
Eliza turned off the music. Ida Cox’s Wild Women Don’t Have The Blues was playing and she didn’t want to think of this moment every time she heard that song.
“To be honest, I don’t really feel like driving all the way back to your house with you right now. Can you find another way home? Can’t you fly or run or something?”
“Eliza, I just don’t want you to be hurt because of me.”
Too late.
Eliza held her breath to keep herself from crying. She absolutely would not cry over a man she had only met a few days ago—especially not in front of him. She was a grown woman not a pre-teen.
“I’m only doing this…”
“For my own good?” she interrupted. “Oh, I get it. It’s fine.” It probably would be good for her anyway. He had turned her into a mush head who could only think about sex, and who ignored her family. Right now she needed to recover from her accident…and vampire attacks, figure out what was going on with her body, and reconcile with her sister. She had no business having her legs wrapped around a stranger for every waking second.
She wished she could get her body and her heart to believe what was already so clear to her mind.
“There is a bus stop down the street. I don’t mind at least dropping you off there.”
“It’s okay. I can find my own way home.” He opened the door of the car and stepped one foot out. He looked back like he wanted to say something. His head seemed to have gained in weight, or he just couldn’t look her in the eye. “We’ll see each other again soon,” he said. “I’ll text you.”
She wanted to punch him in the mouth. He knew perfectly well that he planned to do no such thing. Why couldn’t guys just tell the truth? Thanks for the fuck. It was great. But that’s enough for me. Have a nice life.
Eliza stepped out and moved over to the driver’s side and glared at him as he got out and she stepped in. She made a point not to look back as she drove away.
N
o matter how many times she said to herself that a one-night stand (or in this case three night stand) wasn’t worth crying over, she began to cry as soon as she pulled out of her apartment complex. Surprisingly, it felt good to cry. With her heightened senses, she had been so full of energy and emotions. Many of them had been pleasant, and she had found a great way to release that energy with Levi.
However, she’d also been feeling fear and uncertainty. And now guilt from what she did to Rachelle and hurt from what Levi did to her. Those negative feelings needed release too, and the tears gave her that. She felt like the ball of angry, sad energy behind her heart melted out of her eyes. She just let herself sob. All of this sucked, and it was okay to admit that. This wasn’t just her crying over Levi—although a lot of it was that. She had plenty to cry about. And now that she was away from Levi’s intoxicating and protective presence, the enormity of what had happened over the past several days weighed on her more heavily.
She now wished that she had dreamed it all. Maybe she’d wake up in the hospital any minute. She would give her sister a hug and look down on her unbroken skin. She would look in the mirror and see her familiar dark skin and auburn hair again, instead of the strange monster that she had become.
Now that Levi was gone, the whole thing seemed even more ridiculous. She was a half-dead? How can you be half dead? You either are or you aren’t. And she wasn’t. Clearly, she wasn’t. She was breathing. Her heart was beating. She was driving a car. This couldn’t be real.
And then what if it was? What would it mean to be half-dead? Would she live longer or would she die any minute? Would she still grow old? Would she be able to have children? Was she likely to attack all the people she loved?
Her first thought was to run to her father’s house. He was her haven—and likely to be the one person who would accept her no matter what. Of course, he wouldn’t believe her story, not that she had any plan to tell him…or anyone else ever again for that matter…but he would love her and accept her. He would probably still stick by her even if she went mad and starting drinking his blood. But Eliza didn’t want to take that chance. She wanted to stay away from everyone she cared about until she had a handle on these new—disgusting—urges.
Instead, Eliza drove a few exits down the highway toward a Walmart. She did exactly what she told Levi she would do—she bought fresh clothes and toiletries. Then she cleaned herself up in the Walmart bathroom, smiling nervously at anyone who came in. Cleaning blood out from under her nails in a Wal-Mart bathroom was one of the trashiest things she could think of, but she thought it was the best option for now. Fortunately, people awkwardly avoided watching her too closely. One woman ushered her young son out of the bathroom quickly without stopping to wash his hands.
“Yes. Avoid the hideous monster,” Eliza said under her breath.
Eliza was feeling a bit monstrous, although if she looked at herself objectively she saw that she didn’t really look all that bad. In fact, the vampire blood that had helped her heal also seemed to be an excellent beauty tonic. Her pores had nearly completely disappeared and the small patch of acne scarring around her hairline had smoothed. Her hair was shinier, and maybe even less frizzy.
All of that was nice, but she still didn’t like the reflection in the mirror. She had become even paler since this morning. Although she didn’t like losing her hair color, a few streaks of blonde might have looked nice. But that’s not what she had. Instead, she looked like she was growing gray—a strange look against her youthful skin.
Her skin had gotten so light that she could probably pass as being white. She hated that most of all. Being bi-racial, she had always been hovering between the two races and sometimes she it truly upset her. She didn’t feel like she fully belonged with either group. But she also loved it. It made her special and beautiful. The idea of going all white made her feel uneasy. She didn’t want to leave behind her proud black heritage like that.
And even more than that, she didn’t like the metaphor. Her mother had abandoned their family a long time ago, but at least she always had her DNA. She could always look in the mirror and see a reflection of the mother she had lost. Now it was like her mother was literally disappearing. Her DNA leeching out of her skin while her memory faded.
Fortunately, Eliza’s eyes hadn’t changed at all. They were still her father’s happy Irish green. Perhaps eyes were the only things that stay the same in the transformation. She thought about Levi’s warm hazel eyes and wondered if that was the only thing left of his human self. What had he looked like when he was alive? Maybe he had dark hair. Tanned skin. She shook her head to try to rid herself of imagining all possible versions of Levi—especially since most of those versions were shirtless.
She had brushed her teeth, applied product to her hair, and put on a light coat of make-up, and felt much better. Of course, just washing the blood off did a lot to improve her mood.
Even though the weaker part of her wanted to run and hide, the real Eliza knew that making up with her sister was the most important thing right now. Rachelle was her world, and would always be her other half even after they were both married. They’d been together since the womb and that was never going to change.
Eliza hopped back in the car, feeling more determined. She continued to watch in amazement as previously invisible homes and stores popped up along the side of the highway. She even saw some skyscrapers in the distance that she could have sworn were not there before. It was the wrong direction to be any Louisiana city that she knew of. As terrifying as this new world was, it was also exhilarating. It was as cool as being dropped off at an alien planet or two hundred years into the future. Somewhere in the middle of the Louisiana countryside there was an entire city waiting to be discovered. Who knew what she would find?
She wanted to explore it all, but she had to admit that she imagined herself exploring it alongside Levi. He would have been her guide and protector. They would have gone out on dates at bars and clubs that hadn’t even existed to her before last week. Vampire bars filled with ancient people with amazing stories.
She had so many questions to ask Levi. She wanted to know everything had he had experienced in his long life. What had he seen? What had he done? She had never considered herself a huge history buff, except when it came to music, but now she found it all fascinating. He was older than the United States! When had he immigrated here? Had he been born in Europe or was he an early pioneer? How long had he lived in the South? Did he fight in the American Revolution? The Civil War? The World Wars? Jesus…had he ever owned slaves? That’s an awkward question she never imagined asking her boyfriend.
“Stop it, Eliza,” she said aloud. “He is not your boyfriend.”
But he could be…said the little voice inside her head. He really liked you. You can’t fake feelings like that.
“Shut up,” she said again.