Authors: Violet Walker
P
eter was surprised when he saw the lavish spread in front of him. Had the servants lost their minds! How could he eat all that stuff alone? He didn't even feel like eating that night.
He was about to ask what the hell was wrong with them when he saw Amber enter the study.
"Good evening, Peter," she said casually. "Do you mind if I join you for dinner here?"
"Uhhh....Of course, why not! You are most welcome. This is your own house, after all!"
How could she behave so casually after their marriage, he thought.
"I see you have locked yourself up here since the time we arrived. Is everything alright?"
What the hell was wrong with her! They had taken such a huge step and here she was, behaving as if everything was just the way it was before!
"Yes...yes! I..uh...I just had some important work to do," he lied.
"Oh, alright! I wish Rose was here with us. I am already missing her."
"Yes, I am missing her too."
Amber's eyes fell on Helena's life size portrait that was standing in a corner of the room. So, her guess was right. Peter was feeling guilty about marrying her, he felt that he had betrayed Helena!
Peter’s eyes followed Amber’s and he caught her looking at Helena’s portrait. He didn’t know why, but he felt a sudden urge to give an explanation as to why he had taken that portrait out after so long.
“I just wanted to remember Helena today as this day marks a new beginning in my life,” he tried to explain.
“It’s fine, Peter,” Amber gently touched his hand. “She was your wife, your first love. You have every right to feel the way you are feeling right now. I know I can never replace her, but I promise you that I’ll try. I’ll try my best to be a good mother to Rose and……” She badly wanted to say ‘a good wife to you’ but instead added, “a good Duchess to the people of Suffolk.”
“Amber you don’t know how much that means to me. You have always been by my side whenever I needed you. I don’t have enough words to thank you.”
“Oh! Don’t be silly….”
“No please, let me say this today. After Helena, I’ve seen how you looked after Rose. That is why she loves you so much! And now you agreed to marry ME….a broken soul, fully aware that perhaps I won’t be able to love you like a husband should love his wife.”
Amber looked up at him. She desperately wanted to ease the pain that she could so clearly see in his eyes.
“I have my own selfish interest behind marrying you,” said Amber.
When he looked at her questioningly, she laughed and added, “You know very well how much I love that little daughter of yours. And to think now I actually get to be her mother! Isn’t that incredible!”
“And the fact that you said ‘perhaps’ you won’t ever be able to love me….. well, that ‘perhaps’ fills my heart with hope,” she added looking boldly right into his eyes.
Peter didn’t know how to respond to that! He had never considered Amber anything more than a dear friend. But apparently, she did have feelings for him. It was clear in the way she was looking at him with those huge brown eyes….eyes that were so different from Helena’s, yet no less beautiful!
Peter cleared his throat. That brought Amber out of her trance. Gosh! What was she doing! Behaving like some love stricken teenager! She felt her cheeks redden and she immediately averted her gaze and focused all her energy on eating the food in front of her.
Peter noticed the change in her expressions. How quickly her face changed from that of a woman who knew what she wanted to that of a child caught red handed with her hand in a jar of sweets. He couldn’t help but laugh.
“Now what is it that you find so amusing, my lord,” Amber asked with a goofy grin on her face.
“Nothing…nothing,” and he laughed again. This time, a bit louder than before.
His laughter sounded so good to her ears and was so infectious that Amber started laughing too! Mrs. Beatrix and Michael heard the noise and came to check what the commotion was all about. When they saw both of them laughing heartily, they looked at each other and smiled.
“I’ve haven’t seen Lord Peter laugh like this after two years! I just hope Amber brings back laughter to this empty manor and fills his heart with love and happiness once again,” Mrs. Beatrix’s face beamed with joy.
“Amen to that,” added Michael.
P
eter had never noticed how beautiful Amber looked when she smiled, how she scrunched her nose when something was not to her liking, how her cheeks blushed when she felt embarrassed. He had never noticed the small freckles on her nose or the mole right beneath the left corner of her lips. He had never noticed how beautifully arched her lips were, how soft and supple they looked….
Good Lord! She was his best friend, for heaven’s sake! It had been too long since he’d been with a woman. To be precise, more than two years. That could be the only reason behind these ridiculous thoughts. One moment, he was regretting his decision to get married, feeling guilty for the same, and the other moment, he was laughing merrily with his new wife and even contemplating how soft her lips were!
There was something grossly wrong with himself he felt. He wanted this meal to finish as soon as possible, so that he could spend some time alone and think about what exactly was the matter with him.
When they finished their dinner, Amber got up to leave.
“Thank you Peter for allowing me to dine with you,” Amber said soberly.
“The pleasure was all mine,” Peter smiled.
“Good night.”
“Good night.” And Amber left the room. Peter noticed how gracefully she walked out of the room. Just like Helena!
But otherwise, the two women were as different as chalk and cheese. Where Helena was always impeccably dressed and oozed sophistication, Amber was more free-spirited and easy going. Where it was difficult to read Helena’s mind, Amber’s face was like an open book. Helena was beautiful in an ethereal sort of way, she was extremely delicate and her face looked angelic. Amber, on the other hand, was beautiful in an earthy sort of way, a woman who loved living her life to the fullest!
Peter had always taken Amber for granted. She had been her pillar of strength, apart from his mother, when Helena died. Peter had often wondered why she refused to consider every eligible bachelor who wanted to court her. He had even jokingly warned her of ending up as a grumbling old maiden. But she had always laughed off his concerns.
He wondered if his mother had been right about Amber loving HIM. Did she not marry all those years because of her feelings for him? If that was true, he would have to talk to her regarding the same. He could not let her live in false hopes. He had to clarify that though she would be the Duchess of Suffolk and the mother of his child, she could never be his wife, his love interest. He had already given his heart to Helena and she had taken it with her when she left him alone. Now he was just a heartless man, incapable of falling in love again.
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Amber stared at the ceiling of her new room. The feeling that she was now married to Peter had slowly begun to sink in. She had not seen him laugh with this abandon since so long. And how handsome he looked with that dimple and those laugh lines etched prominently on his face! She had missed seeing him like this….carefree and happy!
But that was only for a few short moments, she reminded herself. He had immediately composed himself after that laughter episode and they both had eaten their dinner in silence. Amber promised herself that she would do everything in her power to heal him, to again make him that carefree, happy man that he once was. When Helena was alive…..how could she forget Helena!
Amber had always had a cordial relation with Helena. Though they were not the best of friends, yet they both cared deeply for each other. When Amber had found out that Peter loved Helena, she had been distraught. But after meeting her, she had found her to be extremely charming and likeable. Although she would be lying to herself if she said that she had never felt jealous of her, yet, she’d always wished the best for Helena and Peter. And she had grieved deeply when she died.
Amber made another promise that night….a promise to Helena, that she’d give her husband the love and happiness that he deserved, she promised her that she’d make him live and laugh again! And also that she’d love and adore her daughter as her own. With these thoughts in mind, Amber fell into a deep sleep.
N
ext morning, Peter and Amber were joined by Her Grace and little Rose at the breakfast table. Rose was nestled cozily in Amber's arms and she was feeding her little tidbits. They both made an amazing picture.
Peter felt his chest tighten once again. How happy Rose looked with Amber! Though Mrs. Beatrix took great care of her and Rose adored her too, there was something about the way Amber handled her that made him want to watch them endlessly.
Lady Bryton looked at Peter, as if telling him that THIS was what Rose was missing. Now he understood why his mother literally compelled him to get married to Amber.
It was a perfect morning for Amber. She had almost given up all hopes of getting married and still here she was, having breakfast with her husband, her mother-in-law and her daughter. She was the happiest woman on the planet. Now if only she could make Peter fall in love with her!
She looked at Peter and saw him already looking in her direction. He gave a small smile to her as she looked at him. Amber returned his smile and wondered if it was the right occasion to talk about what she had in mind.
"Ummm....if you both don't mind, I want Rose's crib and other things to be shifted to my room."
Peter and Her Grace stopped eating midway and looked at her as if she had suddenly grown two horns!
"I feel the nursery is a little far from my chamber and I really wish to keep her with me. I know Mrs. Beatrix looks after her in the night but now that she has a mother, I feel it is MY duty to see to her at all times. Of course, Mrs. Beatrix can assist me. Besides, my chamber is so huge that everything can easily fit in," Amber knew she was blabbering.
"Are you sure, Amber? I mean Rose is still very young and she does sometimes have sleepless nights."
"I am very sure, mother...uhhh...do I call you mother now?"
"Of course, sweetheart," laughed Lady Bryton. "I am as much your mother as Peter's!" Lady Bryton's face beamed with joy.
"Amber, you don't need to go through all that trouble. Rose is doing just fine in the nursery," said Peter.
Amber's face fell a little.
"Peter, I think Amber is right. Mrs. Beatrix has also aged with time and I feel sometimes managing Rose and the household becomes too much for her, though the poor lady would never admit it."
"Alright then, as you both deem fit! Mother, are you staying back for tonight?"
"As much as I would love to spend more time with Amber and Rose, I can't, my dear. I have to get back to the townhouse to oversee the repair work that's being done. But I will pay you both a visit very soon," she smiled.
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Amber soon got Rose's belongings shifted to her chamber with Mrs. Beatrix and the servants' help. Peter had left soon after Lady Bryton departed and Amber decided to explore the manor now that Rose was peacefully asleep in her room.
Though she had visited the manor innumerable times in the past, she had never really looked at it properly. Now that she was the lady of the house, she had to make sure that everything in her home was perfect.
After a quick tour of the manor, Amber realized that Mrs. Beatrix had most definitely managed everything pretty nicely. Amber complimented her for the same. She also discovered that Peter's chamber was the one right next to hers. She didn't know why this knowledge made her heart flutter, but it did.
She also asked Mrs. Beatrix what Peter liked to eat. He used to love raspberry tarts as a kid but tastes did change with age.
"Not with him! He still loves them," informed Mrs. Beatrix. "And how ironic it is that our Rose is allergic to raspberries.....just like her mother."
Mrs. Beatrix told Amber that Helena was extremely allergic to raspberries and the same was the case with Rose. She had once consumed a small portion of the fruit and her little body had developed rashes all over! After that incident, Peter had totally banned raspberries in the manor.
I
t had been almost two weeks since their marriage. Amber was playing her role of a Duchess to perfection. Everyone seemed to love her. The entire staff at the manor had become very fond of her too. She liked talking to everyone, from the chambermaids to the stable boy. A simple "Hello, how are you doing today" seemed to work wonders for her as it kept increasing her fan following.
Peter didn't know if this was his imagination or reality, but even Rose had become prettier and healthier in these two weeks. He often came home to find Amber playing with Rose or feeding her or making her learn new words. They did share cozy meals together but apart from that, they barely communicated. Peter tried talking to her about the fact that he would never be able to love her as he loved Helena, but somehow, he never got a chance.
The one change that Peter felt in himself was that he had started 'noticing' Amber. Not as a friend, but as a woman. Amber had a way of putting everyone at ease. This quality of hers had won the hearts of many a people in Suffolk. She also didn't mind getting her hands dirty. In fact one day he saw her helping one of the servants in cleaning the cobwebs! Mrs. Beatrix informed him that she was an amazing cook too. He was seeing a part of Amber that he'd never seen before.
And she was amazingly beautiful too! Peter had been too much in love with Helena when she was alive to notice how Amber had grown up to be a gorgeous young lady too. Of course he had always found her pleasant to look at, but now that he was noticing her minutely, he realized that she was a rare beauty. She had a wonderful sun kissed complexion as she loved to be outdoors. She often took Rose for small picnics in their garden where the mother daughter duo had loads of fun.
Peter was finding this new Amber extremely likeable.
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Amber had assumed her responsibilities pretty well in the past few weeks and she was pleased with herself. She was loving each day spent in her new home with Rose and Peter. Though her relation with Peter was purely platonic, she knew that Peter had started caring for her….as a husband cares for his wife. She often caught him looking at her during meals and even when she was busy doing her work or playing with Rose.
One afternoon, Peter had to leave urgently to attend some important meeting in the neighboring county. He asked Michael to inform Amber that he would perhaps be gone for a day or two. That night, after putting Rose to sleep, Amber decided to explore Peter’s room. She had seen a secret door in her chamber and she was sure that it led to the adjoining chamber that was Peter’s. She had never been in his room and was plain curious to see it.
Everyone at the manor was asleep and even Amber had changed into her night dress giving up the thought of sneaking into Peter’s chamber. But sleep eluded her. It was almost midnight when she gathered the courage to try to open it. To her surprise, it wasn’t locked as she had expected. It opened easily with a slight click.
As Amber entered the chamber, she first noticed the huge mahogany bed that lay right in front of her. She was surprised to notice a small candle burning in the far end of the room and then assumed the servants must have left it burning by mistake. She decided she would discuss this with the servants in the morning as a burning candle in a vacant room was a potential fire hazard.
In the dim light, she could see that the room had been very tastefully decorated. Everything screamed elegance and sophistication. She sat on the plush bed thinking that it was where Peter spent his nights.
Suddenly Amber heard a small click behind her. Alarmed, she got up and turned around to see Peter coming in from what she assumed was the bathroom, dressed in nothing but a towel tied low on his waist and his entire body glistening with droplets of water. He also appeared startled to see her in his room at this hour.
“Oh! Peter…..you are back!” She sounded stupid to her own ears!
“Yes, apparently so!” The initial look of shock on his face had now been replaced with an amused grin and something else that she could not understand. She was sure her face was crimson by this time.
“I…uhhh…I was just curious where that door led to…ummm….you see that door there! It actually connects our chambers, I just found out.” Amber was trying hard to focus on his face as Peter was slowly coming closer. He was half naked, for God’s sake! And what a gorgeous body he had!
“You came back early.” Her voice was a mere whisper now that Peter stood less than a few inches from her.
“Yes. The roads were closed due to a landslide and so I had to come back,” he said in a husky tone.
“Oh!”
They both just kept looking at each other, unable to move, unable to say anything. The entire room seemed charged with their unspoken chemistry.
At last, Amber broke this spell and said, “I…uh…I think I should go back.”
“Yes, you should.”
But still both of them remained glued to their places. Peter finally raised his hand and cupped her face. He bent down and gently kissed her on the lips.