Authors: Jessica Marx
With his fingers still moving inside and one tweaking my clit, I am on the edge of ecstasy. Jayson pulls on my nipple with his other hand that was fondling my breasts and I explode.
“Oh, Jayson,” I say in a throaty voice as my juices flow over his hand. I know he can feel my moist heat on his cock that is still pressed between my legs. My body gently shakes from rapture. I move my hands down the window slowly and place them back between my thighs. I’m able to get them around the bottom of his shaft and I grip him as he thrusts forward. He moans at the sensation of my hands around him, but gently takes them in his and moves them back up to the window.
“I told you no, Ashley,” Jayson reprimands me. “Don’t be a bad girl.” I already feel frisky and he is driving me crazy with all the teasing, so I try to reach my hands down again. He catches me and takes my hands in his, forcing them back up on the window and holding them there this time.
“I told you not to be bad, Ashley,” Jayson says, fingering me harder now. He has three fingers moving in sync inside me. I gasp from the sensation and the sound of his voice, which is really turning me on. I’ve never had a man talk dirty to me like this before.
“What happens to bad girls?” I ask eagerly. Jayson doesn’t answer, but he laughs behind me. Suddenly he takes both of his hands and grips the top of my panties, yanking them down. He pulls my hips back so I am bent over. I press my hands into the window to steady myself and look out at all the lights over the city. I hear something tear and realize Jayson must be putting on a condom.
Before I have too much time to think about it, he takes a hold of my hips and thrusts himself inside me. I am already so wet that he is able to slide the entire length of his cock in effortlessly.
A deep groan escapes my mouth as the tip of his cock reaches as far in as it can go. Jayson pulls himself out just slightly, and then softly pushes back in.
“Oh, Ashley,” Jayson moans, “your pussy feels so fucking sweet.” He starts rotating his hips in a small circular motion and then pulls himself back out, leaving just the tip inside of me. He lingers for a moment and then he starts to fuck me.
He begins with just the tip, teasing me again. He pulls it out and pushes it back between my lips, letting the head rub against me as it goes in and out. He already knows the spot just past my lips that drives me wild. The head of his cock keeps pressing against it over and over again as he thrusts faster, still only giving me the tip. He is holding me steady by my hips, keeping me from pushing back into him. He continues this motion, bringing me to the edge again.
When he feels me tighten around him, Jayson pumps himself all the way inside, giving me the whole length of his solid shaft. He is filling me up now, with his cock as far in as it can go. He puts one hand on my back and the other on my hip and starts to fuck me, hard.
Jayson is grinding into me. When he thrusts, it’s so deep that his hips are pressed into mine. He continues the motion, giving me every inch of his manhood and taking it away. Each time he enters me again, I gasp. He takes his hand off my hip and puts it back on my breast, pulling my body upright into his. He keeps up his movement but now my back is pressed into his chest and he is cupping both of my breasts in his hands.
I join in his rhythm, grinding my hips with his. We are almost dancing now, overlooking the city, working our way to climax together this time. My hands fall in front of me as my body starts to go limp. He moves my hair away from my neck and kisses me softly, slowing the motion of his hips.
Jayson buries his cock deep inside me and begins to gently move the tip working it around my inner walls. He moves one hand back down and begins to massage my clit again in the same rhythm. Then he quickens the pace again, rubbing harder and pulling and pushing himself farther in and out. He is moving faster and going deeper, fucking me harder again. My body tenses and tightens around him as I feel him start to throb inside me.
His finger moves quickly over my pulsing clit just as he thrusts deep inside me and I can’t take it anymore.
“Yes, Jayson, yes!” I cry out in complete ecstasy, clenching around him, and spasming with the sweet surrender. Jayson is pulling my body into his by my chest, releasing himself inside of me.
“Oh, Ashley. Fuck. Yes!” he calls, finally allowing himself to climax. He is squeezing my breast in his hand, still pumping himself inside me but much slower now, relishing in every last second of our passion.
We finally stop moving, but are still swaying together. Jayson wraps his arms around me and loosens my bra from my wrists. We are just standing there, smiling, in what feels like a slow romantic dance over the city lights. He pushes my hair aside once again and rests his chin on my shoulder. He takes my hands in his and entwines our fingers, kissing me softly on the cheek.
“Do you have any idea how amazing you are?” Jayson asks me. Without waiting for an answer, he turns me around to face him, pulling me closer. He wraps his hands around my back and rests them on my backside. I lay my head on his shoulder, still smiling and exhausted. I put my hands around him and just stay there, enjoying the moment, loving how Jayson makes me feel in every way.
After several moments pass, we pick our clothing up from the floor and put our belongings back on. I’m smiling and happy but spent both physically and emotionally. I take another look at the view while I’m standing at the window. Jayson walks up next to me and takes my hand in his. We stare out the window together, holding hands, and it feels wonderful. Like we are exactly where we belong.
________
S
ince it is already late
, Jayson suggests that I spend the night. I agree, partly because I’m tired and partly because I just want to. I feel comfortable with Jayson and I know he is asking me to stay because he wants me to, not because he feels like it’s the right thing to do.
We are sitting at the breakfast bar again, having some water. Jayson reaches into a cabinet and takes out a bag of popcorn. He opens it and holds the bag in front of me.
“I need a snack. Want some?” he asks.
“Sure,” I reply, grabbing a handful. We remain at the counter, munching on popcorn and drinking water like it’s something we do every day. We aren’t really talking; just enjoying each other’s company. I smile at him and he smiles back, then tosses another handful of popcorn into his mouth.
“This is perfect, Ashley,” Jayson says to me after he finishes chewing.
“Yeah. The popcorn is great,” I reply with a wink.
“Seriously. You and me. Together. We are perfect.” I chuckle. “What? Don’t you think so?”
“I think we can be great,” I answer. “And even though I do believe you, I still have a hard time accepting how you can change your ways so quickly.”
“You changed, too,” he answers. “First you didn’t want to give me a chance. Then a couple of days ago, you thought we should take it slow. Now, here you are enjoying some post-coital popcorn with me.” Jayson tosses back another handful of popcorn with a satisfied smile and I realize he’s right. Maybe that’s why I can believe him, because I changed, too.
“You’re right,” I admit. “And I agree, this is perfect.”
“These feelings are so strange to me, Ashley, but I know they’re for real. Plus you’re mine now—you promised,” he adds playfully.
I snap my fingers. “Shit, you’re right. Hope that wasn’t a mistake.”
“You have no idea, beautiful,” Jayson says, leaning over and kissing me on the forehead. “How about we get some sleep?”
“Sure,” I reply, finishing my glass and walking it to the sink. He takes my hand and leads me to the bedroom.
_____________
W
e must sleep very soundly
, because when I wake up, Jayson is still spooning me. I don’t want to move because I don’t want to wake him, but also because I love the way this feels. I have experienced so many emotions over the last few days but the one thing I’m sure of is that this is where I want to be.
I feel Jayson begin to stir. His body adjusts against mine and his arm tightens around me. I still don’t move, but I can tell he is awake now. I smile to myself because he doesn’t seem to want to let go of me, either.
I keep my eyes closed like I’m sleeping and Jayson kisses me softly on the back of the head. We lay still for several moments and I continue to feign sleep as he carefully shifts his position to get up. As Jayson lifts his body, I can feel his eyes on me. He sits on the edge of the bed, but then leans over and kisses me one more time, possibly to make sure I’m asleep.
“I love you, Ashley,” Jayson whispers. He gets out of the bed and quietly walks into the bathroom. He thinks I’m sleeping and has no idea that I just heard what he said. I am frozen by the thought.
What am I going to do now? I think I love him, too. It’s the most ridiculous notion to think you can love someone you have only known for a short time, but we both feel it, so it must be real.
I can’t tell Jayson. I have to wait until he actually tells me when he knows I’m listening. I hear him coming out of the bathroom.
I close my eyes again, lying completely still. He moves quietly around the room and then leaves and shuts the door.
J
AYSON
I
love Ashley
. I have never felt this way about a woman in my life. I had to tell her, but only when I knew she couldn’t hear me. She would think I’m crazy if she knew I felt that way so soon.
Here I am making breakfast for her when normally I would be wondering why there’s still someone in my bed. Last night was beyond incredible. I always love to please the ladies, but make sure I get mine, too. With Ashley, I didn’t care. All I cared about when we made love was satisfying her. And seeing her pleasure, feeling it, is what got me off.
The toaster pops and the eggs I’m cooking are just about done. I don’t cook often, especially breakfast, and never for a woman. Crazy thing is, I don’t even want to make love again this morning. I mean, of course I do, but I won’t. I want this to be about more than sex, and I want her to know that. I also have to go to work.
I hope she’s really sure about me, because I know I am sure about her. As crazy as it seems, I could marry her tomorrow and know it’s the right thing to do. I realize it may take her longer to get to that point, but I can wait. I’m not going anywhere.
I really hope she believes in us enough to stick around regardless of what happens with my father and Cynthia. If Cynthia says yes when my father proposes, I really don’t know what will happen.
I guess I’m thinking way too much into it right now. I told Ashley to take it slow and not worry about the future or think too much, so maybe I should do the same. If we are truly happy, and they are also happy, everything should work out in the end—at least, I hope so.
I hear Ashley stirring in the bedroom and I smile. I got up so early and didn’t want to wake her so I snuck out to the kitchen. I’ve been as quiet as I could but I’m glad she’s awake. I need to get to work soon and I’ve been looking forward to spending some time together this morning before I go.
A
HSLEY
“
G
ood morning
,” Jayson says, smiling at me as I finally emerge from the bedroom.
“Good morning,” I reply, walking toward the kitchen. Jayson has coffee ready and breakfast made.
“I’m glad you finally woke up. I have to go to work soon, but I thought we could have some breakfast together first.” He looks so handsome in the morning, even before he showers. He’s still wearing the shorts he had on last night, but he has a fitted tee on now, too. Good thing—I don’t think I could keep my hands off him if he didn’t.
“Thanks,” I answer, smiling back at him and pouring myself a cup of coffee. “I bet the ladies love when you make them breakfast.”
“I wouldn’t know. I’ve never done it before,” he answers. To my surprise, I believe him. “I’ve also never had a woman sleep in my bed without having sex.”
“Well, I’m glad I got to be your first,” I facetiously reply. “I feel special now.”
“You are special,” Jayson says. He is at the stove, spatula in hand, preparing a plate. “And I hope you like your eggs over easy, because that’s how I made them.”
He hands me the breakfast he just made. I take the plate to the counter and sit down.
“I do. I also like my coffee dark, no sugar. Just in case you need to know for the future,” I advise him with a wink, taking a sip from my mug.
“Noted. I look forward to using that information many times.”
“Thanks. This actually looks good.”
We finish eating our breakfast in a comfortable silence. Jayson gets up and brings his dish and mug to the sink.
“I hate to break this up, but I have to get ready for work,” he says. “You can stay here and make yourself comfortable, if you like.”
“Thanks, but I have to work lunch today, so I should probably go too.” I take my last sip of coffee and bring my own things to the sink.
“Why don’t you wait for me and we can leave together?” Jayson asks.
“Sure. I’d like to wash my face and brush my teeth, anyway.”
We walk back to the bedroom and Jayson heads toward the bathroom. I amble around the room, pretending to be doing something. I don’t know how Jayson feels about it, but I’m not ready to be in the bathroom together at this point in our relationship.
I waste time making the bed and straightening up. I pull the curtain back and look out the huge window. I recall looking out the window last night while we were making love and smile. Everything about it was amazing.
I hear the water go off and Jayson get out of the shower. A few minutes later, he comes out in a towel and looks heavenly. I don’t know if I will ever get used to looking at his body in a casual way.
“If you keep looking at me like that, we’re going to have a repeat of last night,” Jayson teases me. “Not that it would be the worst scenario, but I have to get to work and quickies aren’t really my thing.”
“Shut up,” I say with a giggle. It’s the best I can come up with. He looks so divine I wouldn’t mind a quickie but I’m not going to be that forward.
He walks to his dresser to get some clothing and I decide it’s a good time to get into the bathroom. I don’t think I can take a strip tease right now.
“Be out in a few,” I say, closing the door behind me.
Oh my God, he is truly irresistible,
I think. I brush my teeth and wash my face. I get my hair wet so I can finger-brush it and look half-decent for the trip home. I can shower when I get to my own place.
I emerge from the bathroom and Jayson isn’t there. I walk out to the living area and see him in the kitchen. He looks so handsome, maybe even more so now that he’s dressed. He is wearing dress pants and a nicely-fitted, blue button-down. The color of his shirt makes his eyes stand out, and I am once again staring at him.
“Seriously, Ashley?” Jayson jokes when he catches me looking again. “You’re going to have to get used to the way I look. I mean, I know I look good, but the novelty should have worn off by now.”
“I don’t know what it is. I can’t help it,” I answer, laughing. Jayson walks over and stands in front of me, wrapping me in his arms.
“You are so beautiful, Ashley. I’m the one who should be staring.” He puts a hand on my cheek and kisses me tenderly on the lips. “Then again, I wouldn’t be able to keep my hands off you if I was.” Unfortunately, we have to get going or I don’t think we will ever leave.” He takes my hand and leads me to the front door.
“I guess you’re right,” I reply and take my keys from the entry table. We walk out to the elevator hand in hand.
Jayson pushes the call button and looks at me as the doors open.
“Remember last time we were in this elevator?” he asks with a smirk.
“I do,” I reply with a broad smile.
The doors close and we look at each other. Without hesitation, I turn and begin kissing him, passionately. This time Jayson has his back against the wall and I’m being the aggressive one. I have my hands on the back of his neck and I’m kissing him hard, my tongue inside his mouth. Jayson puts his hands on my ass and squeezes gently, pulling me up closer to him. I suck on his lip as I break our short but ravenous embrace.
Seconds later, the doors open and we step out into the lobby.
“I’ve been wanting to do that all morning.” Jayson says, grinning.
“Me too,” I reply as we walk outside onto the sidewalk and see the awaiting town car. “I guess call me later?”
“Oh, no. I’m driving you home. Don’t think you’re getting away that easily.”
“You don’t have to. You’re going to be late.”
“Don’t be silly, Ashley,” he says, holding the door open for me. “Now get in the car so I can watch you bend over again.”
I roll my eyes at him and purposely exaggerate my movements while getting into the backseat. I hear Jayson snigger behind me and he playfully smacks my backside before following me in.
We sit in the backseat, smiling during the short ride to my apartment. It does take a little longer with the morning traffic, but it’s still very close. Jayson is holding my hand again and doesn’t seem to want to let it go. I have to admit, I like it. We only have a couple of blocks left to travel and I find myself wishing the ride didn’t have to end.
“I think I’m actually going to miss you today,” I tell him.
“I know I’m going to miss you, beautiful,” he answers.
“When will I see you again?” I ask. “I have to work the next couple of nights.”
“I don’t know. We’ll work something out, though. I can’t wait another couple of days. Now that you’re mine and I know I can have you whenever I want, we can’t have a silly little thing like work getting in the way.”
“Normally I wouldn’t let a man call me ‘his,’ but something about it turns me on with you. I like it.”
“I never laid claim on a woman, but I’m not letting you go, so get used to it.”
We pull up in front of my building and Jayson opens the door and steps out. I follow and we are standing on the sidewalk together.
“Call me later, okay?” Jayson says, sounding less than confident for once.
“I will,” I answer. We hug each other and he kisses me softly on the lips. “Thanks for the ride.”
“Anytime,” he answers.
I walk to my building entrance and turn to look at him as I open the door. Jayson is still standing there, watching me go in. I guess he does like to stare at me, just from behind. I wave and walk in and he finally turns and gets back into the car. I smile at my doorman and continue on happily to the elevator.
_____
I am still smiling when I get into my apartment. I put my things down and just plop down on the couch. I don’t have to work for a few more hours so I have time to relax. I pick up my phone and see I haven’t missed any texts or calls. I send Rachel a message. I feel like we haven’t spoken for so long, but it’s only been a few days. It’s hard to believe so much has happened in such a short time. Rachel replies quickly.
Hey! What’s up, stranger? I’m starting a class in a few but I’m free in an hour.
Cool. Call you then,
I answer.
I turn on the television planning to veg out for a while. I go to the kitchen and get a drink and an apple and sit back on the couch. My phone rings in the familiar tone I have programmed for my mother’s number. I pick it up on the second ring.
“Hey, Mom! How are you?”
“Great, Ash. And you?” she replies.
“The same. Are you back from your trip already?” I ask.
“Yes! Just got back last night, actually. It was wonderful.”
“You sound happy today. What’s up?”
“Oh, Ashley, I wanted to tell you at lunch next week, but I just can’t wait. Tom proposed! We’re getting married!” she squeals.
I am speechless for several seconds. My head is spinning with questions and anxiety about last night. But this isn’t about me—it’s about my mother. I pull myself together and answer her.
“I’m so happy for you, Mom!” And I really am. She deserves a good man. I just wish I hadn’t had sex with his son last night. “Tom seems like such a great guy. I know you two will be very happy together.”
“I know we will, Ash. He’s perfect in every way. It was very unexpected. I wasn’t sure I ever wanted to marry again, but once he asked me, I knew it was meant to be.”
My mom continues to tell me the story of how Tom proposed and how romantic everything was. I feel bad because I’m only half-listening. My mind is fixed on Jayson. This is real now. He is going to be my stepbrother. No matter what I was thinking last night, or before, knowing this is going to make me reevaluate everything.
My mother is finished with her story and I need to respond. “That sounds like a fairytale, Mom. When do you think you’ll have the wedding?” I need to know how long I have to make a decision.
“I don’t think we’re going to wait too long and we don’t want to make a big fuss. We are planning to just have our immediate families and a couple of friends.”
My stomach is doing somersaults. My mind is going over so many different scenarios. I need some time to process all of this.
“That sounds perfect,” I lie. It sounds like torture. If I continue to date Jayson, which I really want to do, I will have to tell my mother before she marries Tom. As much as I would now like to, I can’t lie about it forever. If she flips out about the news it could be harmful for my new relationship,, and possibly hers too. But this is my mother’s life, and it will be her day. I can’t be selfish about it.
“I have to get ready for work now, Mom. Congratulations again. I am so happy for you. Please tell Tom I said the same.”
“Thanks, Ash. I’ll see you for lunch next week and we can talk more about all the details.”
I end the call and feel confused all over again. I was so sure last night that no matter what, I wanted to be with Jayson. Now that the reality is that he is going to be my stepbrother, I’m not as confident in my decision.
I’m so torn. On one hand, Jayson is right about what he said initially; we are adults, so our parents’ relationship should not have any effect on ours. We won’t be living together under the same roof, and although we will be “related,” we won’t really be acting as a family unit. As a grown woman, I also don’t see myself referring to Tom as “Dad,” especially since my own father is still a part of my life.
The age difference is going to be hard for my mother to swallow. My father scarred her for life leaving her for a younger woman. Jayson is significantly older than me, and I know she will be less than pleased. She still treats me like a child as it is and won’t believe I could be in love with a man, anyway. And knowing what she knows about Jayson already, her opinion is going to be tainted. There is no way she would approve.
On the other hand, we can’t help who we fall in love with. I know Jayson loves me, even though he hasn't actually told me yet. As crazy as it is, I know I love him, too. Many people wouldn’t understand, but it’s my mother I care about and how she will feel. I also don’t know how comfortable I will feel having my boyfriend as my stepbrother. We are in no way related, but it is definitely an awkward relationship to define, nonetheless. Especially when you add our age difference to the equation.
W
hy does
it have to be so complicated? Why is it that when I finally meet someone who cares just as much about me as I do about him, there has to be so much more involved than just our feelings?
I wonder if Jayson has heard the news yet. I don’t want to call him now, but we are going to have to address it at some point very soon. I don’t know how he will react, if at all.
I’m turning all of these thoughts over in my head for so long that I don’t realize how much time has passed. I shut the television off and get up to shower. I never called Rachel, so I just send her a text that I’m running late and will call her later. There is way too much to tell her now in the amount of time I have, anyway.
I finish getting ready and leave for work. I don’t know how I’m going to concentrate today. I have too much on my mind. I wish I could rewind to this morning when I felt blissful and peaceful, but I can’t. Now I need to move forward with this new information and hope whatever decision I make is the right one. I honestly don’t know if there even is a right one.
I know what I want, and I believe Jayson and I have a future together, and that’s all that should matter. I can’t let all of these other things get in my way. My mother will have to accept my decision, and being adult enough to talk to her about it will be big help in her acceptance.
____________
I
do
the best I can to work through the day. Even though I’m busy the day just drags on. Sometime during the lunch rush it starts raining out, which further enhances the melancholic mood I’m in.
When I get a break between shifts, I sit at the bar with my lunch and a drink. I don’t feel like talking to anyone, so I take out my phone and try to look busy. I see a simple text from Jayson:
Miss you.
I want to ask if he heard the news yet, but don’t want to spoil Tom’s announcement if he hasn’t told his sons. I decide not to approach that topic until a later time and just write back
Miss you too
and put my phone away.