BILLIONAIRE BIKERS: 3 MC Romance Books (60 page)

They had stood for a few minutes after that. She was completely unable to respond, but Jerry seemed to understand. He reached out and put his hand on top of her head in a comforting gesture.

She had come back to their room and was sitting on the edge of her bed, watching Lucas sleep. She didn’t know what she was feeling. Jerry was right that it had changed the way she thought about him. She could tell that even if she hadn’t thought much at all. She was more interested in feeling right now than thinking. Horror and compassion. Horror for what he had experienced, mixed with a dread that he might actually be too damaged, and compassion for him. At first, she felt a tinge of pity, but she knew that wasn’t what the situation warranted. Just sorrow, really deep sorrow for him, and perhaps for her.

She suddenly felt bereft, as though she could never hope to be with him. She marveled at the peace in his face as he slept and wondered how he managed that. It was this place, she suspected, a place where he could lay aside some of the stress and feel his burden was shared.

Burden? Why had I used that term? I’m not really a burden, am I?
She didn’t know, but she couldn’t allow herself to think about it.
Why am I thinking at all?
I need to rest my mind, to allow my subconscious to work some of this out.

As she stood and pulled off her jeans, he stirred, opening his eyes.

“Audra,” he said, reaching out. “Will you sleep in my bed? Will you let me hold you?”

How could I not?
she thought.

She finished undressing and considered putting on her pajamas—but thought better of it—and slipped in beside him, naked.

“Mmmmm,” he said, as he felt her body next to him.

He slid back as far as he could against the wall. She faced out, and he spooned her, wrapping one arm around and under her shoulders, under her arm, clasping a breast, and his other arm across her side, resting his hand down over her belly.

In an instant, he was back to sleep.

She lay for a delicious moment, feeling every inch of his skin on hers, feeling his member pressed up against her buttocks, laying soft against her as if nuzzling her. This was a first. Even when they had slept like this at the cabin, they had both worn their underwear.

Completely putting the horror she had heard out of her mind for the moment, she smiled for an instant longer, listening to his even breathing and feeling the most peace she had felt at any moment in the past month. Then, she joined him in sleep.

# # #

Lucas awoke the next morning in exactly the same position, except he hadn’t remembered her lying down with him. He lay still for a moment, noticing that they were both completely naked. As soon as he realized it, he started to swell. Feeling her up against him, with her silky hair and skin, was celestial. He didn’t move; he just felt himself growing against her. He adjusted his arms a hair’s breadth, realizing he was holding her breast.

He couldn’t help himself then; he started to trace around her nipple with his fingertips. She didn’t stir. He was so tempted to put himself between her legs, but he closed his eyes and regained his control. Just the proximity was enough though, and he felt a drop of pre-cum slide like dew across her bottom.

He squeezed her nipple, and she jumped slightly.

She opened her eyes, realizing where she was and what was happening. She felt the ache in her belly that had become so familiar every time she was near him.

She turned toward him. Now, his member lay up against her belly. She ached to explore him. She tipped her head up to kiss him, and he caught her bottom lip in his teeth. She inched closer to him, bending her elbow and cushioning her head with her arm while the other one went around his waist and back.

Touching the middle of his back stirred him again, and he pressed into her body. He couldn’t open his eyes, knowing that to look at her wanting eyes would be more than he could handle.

He moved slightly up and down on her belly, increasing the pleasure for himself, and, unbeknown to him, driving her wild.

Her lips parted, and he engulfed her mouth, exploring it with his tongue while hers danced back at him.

They both began to perspire as the heat between them rose. It was the perfect sheen for him to slip up and down on her belly.

She had never been so hungry for his body. She had always thought she wouldn’t know what to do with him because her experience was so limited, but her imagination was enough. She ached to touch him, to explore him, to kiss him everywhere. Until this moment, she had never understood why women wanted to give head, but for the first time, the thought flooded her brain. If his arousal was anywhere near to bursting as hers was…

He back away from her, returning to his back against the wall and holding his hands flat against her chest, bent at the wrist, as if holding her at bay. She had no idea whether he was just looking at her before making the plunge, or if there was true hesitation.

She reached down to touch him.

“Please,” he said. “Don’t.”

“It’s okay,” she said. “I know.”

“You know what?” he asked, in a low voice.

“About Elena and Ethan,” she whispered.

He froze for a moment then sat up and climbed over her to get out of bed. He proceeded to pull on his shorts and jeans without saying anything else.

“Lucas,” she said, louder now. “Please. I want to talk about this.”

“What’s there to talk about? Now you know why I can’t.”

“I know why you think you can’t.”

“Why I
think
I can’t? No, I can’t.”

“You are torturing me.”

“I know. I don’t mean to. I…I just can’t resist you sometimes.”

“You make it sound like I initiated it.”

“No. I mean resist you because you overwhelm my senses. Did you crawl in with me last night?”

“Yes, but because you asked me to.”

“Seriously? I don’t recall.”

“You were sleeping.”

“How convenient.”

“You’re dodging the issue. Besides, you said you weren’t trying to blame me for your being unable to resist me.”

He looked at her as he continued to zip up his jeans.

She waited for him to soften, to relent, but he just turned and walked out of the trailer.

Lucas walked into the airstream that Gordon referred to as the “control room.” Gordon and Jerry were sitting and talking over coffee.

“Hey, buddy,” Jerry said before he saw the storm in Lucas’s face.

“What business was it of yours to tell Audra about my wife and son?”

“Hey,” Jerry said. “You make it sound like I was ratting you out for having an affair.”

“You know exactly what I mean.”

Jerry turned, setting his coffee on the desk beside him, and stood.

Gordon glanced up at him, not knowing for sure what was happening.

“Did you intend to tell her?”

“No. Why is it any of her business?”

“You’re kidding, right?”

“No, I’m not.”

“Well, maybe you haven’t noticed, but every time you two are in the same room together, the temperature rises ten degrees and sparks start flying.”

Lucas looked at Jerry, then at Gordon, who nodded. Lucas dropped into a chair, elbows on his knees, burying his face in his hands.

“You owe her to talk to her about it yourself, L.J.,” Jerry said.

Lucas didn’t move. He still had his face in his hands.

“Look,” Gordon said. “I’m not even sure what this whole thing is about, but you’ve obviously crossed a line that you can’t retreat on. All you can do is go on from here.”

Lucas looked up at the two of them. “I’m damned if I do and damned if I don’t.”

Gordon shrugged. “We all know the inherent dangers of getting involved with somebody we’re trying to protect.”

“Yeah. It got Elena killed.”

“That was altogether different. She was your wife, not your job.”

“It seemed like she was both because my job endangered her, too, and I allowed it to go on.”

“Buddy…L.J….you’ve got to stop beating yourself up for that.”

“I never will. You can’t imagine…my wife, my child. I can never stop punishing myself for that for the rest of my life.”

No one said anything for a bit.

“Okay. I’ll admit,” Gordon said, “it’s not something you’ll ever get over. But you can move on.”

“Can I? Don’t you see that it just doesn’t end? If I hadn’t failed to catch Blanco, this wouldn’t have happened to Audra.”

Jerry’s eyes flew wide. “You can’t say that. You did everything in your power to catch him, and you were close, closer than anyone’s ever been. After Ethan’s death, the Service intervened. You had no more choice; they took you off the case. You cannot blame yourself for that.”

He just shook his head from side to side and looked at the floor.

“They’re looking for me now as much as for her. Somebody put us together to get two birds with one stone.”

“So, what are you going to do?” Gordon asked. “Quit? Put Audra’s protection in someone else’s hands?”

“No. But I can stay angry. Stay alert. Stay away from her.”

“You can stay angry and alert, but it’s pretty unrealistic to think you can stay away from her.”

“From what she says, you’ve been trying to stay angry the whole time you’ve been together. How’s that workin’ for ya?” Jerry asked.

He leaned forward and covered his face again for a second, then stood and started to pace.

“Neither of us can tell you what to do,” Gordon said. “It would be wrong, no matter what we said. You have two choices. You can go on walkabout and leave her here with us till you clear your head, or you can go talk the whole thing out with her.”

“How is the latter going to help?” Lucas asked.

“I can’t answer that either, but my gut tells me that’s the solution.”

Lucas stood with his arms crossed over his chest, looking back and forth between the two of them. He uttered a sound, somewhere between irritation and resignation and walked outside.

# # #

When he got back to the sleeping trailer, she was just coming out of the bathroom in a checkered robe that Gordon had given her, toweling her hair dry.

She looked up into his face, seeing resignation in his face.

She didn’t say anything, just sat down in a desk chair nearby and looked at him in anticipation.

He saw the expectant look on her face and looked away.

“The boys are suggesting I go on walkabout.”

“Walkabout? You mean as in Crocodile Dundee?”

He nodded his head.

“What exactly would that mean?”

“It would mean that you and Jerry would stay here with Gordon until I could get out there by myself for a while and get my head on straight.”

“Get your head on straight,” she said, “which means putting distance between you and I.”

“It’s better,” he said.

“Okay, well…,” she said. “Can I make a suggestion?”

“I guess.”

“How about instead of you going on ‘walkabout’ and figuring yourself out, you do us all a favor and go catch fucking El Toro Blanco, so we can get on with our lives.”

He gave her a startled look.

“I guess that hadn’t occurred to you,” she said.

“No,” he said. “I’ve been too busy having a pity party.”

“I’d say.”

On one hand, he felt chastened by her words, but on the other, it gave him hope…new hope for everything. “You know,” he said, “I think that would be the best walkabout I could possibly have.”

He made plans to leave in the morning. His drive to Mexico would give him plenty of time to clear his head.

Gordon provided him with shielded communication equipment so that he could communicate with them as necessary, which wouldn’t be very often. He also provided him with documentation, undetectable firearms that he could carry over the border, and any supplies he was missing.

The three of them talked out plans, strategies, and logistics.

Audra sat in the same room with them, but off to herself. She listened, but stayed in the background. She realized this was a lot her doing, her challenge to Lucas. She hoped he wasn’t going off half-cocked because she had challenged him.

They all ate dinner together, and Lucas finished his preparations.

She went back to the airstream where they slept. She kind of wanted to avoid Jerry tonight. She’d have plenty of time to bend his ear, and she just wanted to be close by if Lucas had any last thoughts.

She was lying on the bed reading when he came in. She searched his face to see if he was showing any hesitation or regret about his decision, but he seemed resolute.

He fussed around, emptying his pockets, taking off his boots, and she continued to read.

“Are you still reading that same book?” he asked.

“For the second time.”

“That good, huh?”

“Well, it’s really the only one that I have, but yeah, it’s that good. Especially certain parts.”

“Certain parts, eh? You want to tell me about them?” he asked, coming over to sit on his bed.

“Um. No.”

“Aww…,” he said.

He got up and sat down on the side of her bed. “I’ve got to get up super early tomorrow. Anyway I can talk you into winding it up and turning out the light?”

“Oh, sure. Sorry,” she said. She closed the book, and turned down the light. She loved the way that all the lights in the place were on rheostats so you could have everything from bright sunlight to shadowy, atmospheric light. “Is that okay if I leave it on like that till I get ready?”

He didn’t answer her. She was about to sit up when he put his knee on her bed.

“I have absolutely no idea what will happen once I leave here,” he said. “I plan to do exactly what you suggested…get him so you can get on with your life.”

“We,” she said. “So
we
can get on with our lives.”

“I hope that’s the way it goes. But no matter what the outcome, I want to leave you something to remember me by.”

She lifted an eyebrow and looked at him as he leaned over and started kissing her. He stood and stepped out of his pants, standing there in his skivvies.

He pulled her shirt over her head then helped her remove her bra. He laid her gently back on her pillow and ran his hands across her chest, encircling her breasts. He lay beside her, propped on one elbow, at first gently suckling her nipples, but then increasing the pressure, encircling them with his tongue. He nipped at them, then returned to kiss her deeply, probing her with his tongue.

By the time he returned to her breasts, she was breathing heavily. She wrapped her arms around his back and shoulders, and he contented himself with her breasts until she started gently thrusting her hips off the bed.

He rose and unfastened her pants, slipping off her socks, then her pants. He felt between her legs and found her panties wet.

“I’m afraid you’ve soaked yourself,” he said. “These need to come off.”

He slowly pulled her panties down, over her buttocks, over her thighs, and past her knees—as if he were peeling them from her. He got even slower as he pulled them down her calves, then her ankles. He lifted each foot, pulling her panties over them, then positioning her knees to each side, with her legs slightly bent.

He pulled himself over her, kissing her and running his hand between her breasts. He lay upon her so she could feel his erection through his boxers, and he rocked himself slightly between her legs.

She moaned, and he licked and sucked at her nipples again, then he pulled back away from her, getting onto his knees and poising his head between her legs.

She tensed. He kissed each thigh and licked around the top of her leg, a sharp intake of air with anticipation escaped her throat. He paused, hovering over her, her scent surrounding him.

He made a slight foray with his tongue, licking lightly up her slit, and she moaned. He licked more concertedly now, stiffening his tongue and penetrating her with the tip of it. She exhaled and whispered a moan.

He waited till she had settled a bit, then his tongue snaked out and swept under and then across her nub. She squealed and grabbed the edges of the bed. He grinned at her obvious pleasure. He swiped across it a few more times, enjoying her reaction each time, then settled down to feast on her, licking and sucking her.

She bucked up to meet him, then took her hands from gripping the bed to holding his head and riding his rhythm. He could tell by her most intense sounds where the right spot was, and he put just the right pressure on her. She began to lift her legs and arch backwards, tensing. She held her breath for several seconds.

She had never felt anything this intense her entire life. She felt the heat rising, shooting up her spine, and spreading across her buttocks. She held herself tense, tight against him, feeling the wave cresting, threatening to break.

He made a sound in his throat. “Let yourself go, baby. Let it go.”

That was all she needed. She rode the wave until it crashed, and built and crashed, built and crashed again. He rode her with his mouth and face, his hands at the top of her legs, pushing her legs back toward the bed, opening her more and more.

When she could take no more on her nub, he backed up and licked her juices from her slit. Then, he rested her legs and slid up beside her. She turned toward him and attacked his mouth, clearly still aroused.

Now was when he had to be careful. He had hoped she would be spent by now, but she was anything but.

She reached her hand down to his crotch, and he caught her midair.

“Allow me,” she said.

He shook his head.

“Oh, but I insist,” she said. “You’ll just have to help me.”

“Help you?” he asked.

“Because I’ve never done this before.”

“As much as I’d love to, I know what happens next,” he said.

“What?”

“You are so excited right now, that the second I expose myself, you’ll be in my lap.”

She looked at him with big, hungry eyes and swallowed.

“I confess that it’s all I can think of,” she said.

“Then, just lie beside me right now,” he said.

She lay down in his arms, but her sex continued to throb with desire. She had always heard that’s how it was for guys—so either he had steel control, or she had heard wrong.

They slept for about an hour then he woke her up, pulling back her leg and stroking her inner thigh. He positioned her beneath him and began to lick her all over again. This time, he licked her all over, beginning with her toes. He licked her until she had three more orgasms.

Then, he kissed her deeply and pressed his hand down over her eyes, indicating she should go back to sleep.

When she awoke again, he was gone.