Authors: Jordan Silver
I’d done everything I could over the years to foster her independence. I paid for extra shit that the aunt said she was interested in to try to break her out of that shell, but I couldn’t see where it had helped much. That got me to thinking now that I wasn’t such a blind ass.
“How’s your karate class coming?” She looked at me like I was speaking a foreign language and I could feel the blood starting to burn under my skin.
“What karate lessons?” She had a befuddled look on her face and I cleared my throat and tried for peace. If there’s one thing I hate it’s being made to look like a fool, and right now I was feeling like the world’s biggest ass.
If it wasn’t for her and my need to get her as far away from Sal the fuck as possible, I would go back there and finish what I started. “Did you take ballet or piano or anything like that outside of your regular classes?”
Those are all the things I’d been told in the almost three years since I saw her that she was suddenly interested in. Of course I never thought to ask her until now.
Though I’d looked forward to those calls I’d always kept them short and Dee was usually hovering somewhere in the background.
I knew she was going to say no before she started shaking her head at me and was already in motion. That was the last fucking straw, this bitch was either crazy or fuck stupid. Either way she was beyond fucked.
I held up my finger for silence, before dragging on my pants and heading towards the door. I didn’t want to do this in front of her and I wasn’t in the mood to wait. I hit speed dial and was answered almost immediately.
“Jason, I need a solid. I need you to look up Dee Reynolds and Sal Jones in Dorset. I want all their financial information down to the penny. Call me back as soon as you’ve got something.”
My next call was to her old home. That call was answered in pretty much the same haste but for different reasons I’m sure. Jason would know that a call from me on his secure line at this time was serious business. These two I’m sure were waiting up in case I came back for their ass.
“By my reckoning you owe me quite a few grand for the past few years of bullshit classes that she never took. I’m going to give you exactly one day to have my fucking money or I’m gonna break your fucking neck.”
“What money? We’ve had the care of her for almost nine years and…”
“And I paid you for her upkeep and then some. What the fuck did you do with my money?” I was getting more heated by the minute.
Not only because she’d ripped me off, but because all this time I’d been thinking my girl was getting a wide and varied education, while all the while this bitch was doing who the fuck knows with my money.
My phone beeped while I was on with her. “You would be wise to have my shit when I get there, and if you even think about running this shit will be ten times worse you lying bitch.”
I switched over to Jason because other than strangling her ass, which was impossible at this very minute, I had fuck else to say to her.
“What you got for me?”
“They have a shitload of crap bro, but no real cash to speak of. I found about twelve grand in cash, which I can move you just say the word. ”
“I want it all, down to the house they live in now, all that should be left is the clothes on their backs and nothing else, not even a bus ticket.” I hung up the phone and went back inside with a heavy heart.
I’d fucked up; there was no other way to look at it. I could pass the blame but I don’t believe in lying to myself. How the fuck had they got the drop on me though? That shit hurt. Not that they’d hoodwinked me, but that they’d hurt her in the process. My babygirl: fuck.
All this time I thought I was giving her a better life and these fuckers were taking advantage of both of us. How the fuck had I made it so easy for them? How long was this going on? Was it only after I pulled the runner two and a half years ago, or was it always like this? I was more inclined to believe the latter.
There was no point in rehashing the shit in my head now, best to move forward and make up for my screw up. But this shit’s looking more and more like somebody’s gonna end up dead. I hate to be fucked with.
I headed back to the room and her, once again with that feeling that I’d let her down eating away at me. What must she think of me? Was I any better than the old drunk that had sold her to me?
At least with him she knew there was no hope. But me, I came along and sold her dreams and happily fucking ever after and look at this bullshit. Cluster-fuck me up the ass with a sledgehammer.
As I hit the door I realized I’d forgotten all about room service. Damn, looks like I was still fucking up. I didn’t like the way any of this shit was making me feel.
I had been looking forward to us, her and me. To spoiling the fuck out her for the rest of our lives. For a long time now I’ve had this picture of her in my head. She was always laughing and happy. The shit I was providing for her was making sure that she never knew a day’s want or neglect.
I hated the fact that I’d been such an ass. All these years I’d been no better than the fucker that had sold his own blood to me. That shit left a fucked up taste in my mouth.
I felt a burning in my gut as I thought of the hell those two must’ve put her through while I was playing possum. How fucking blind had I been? And all because I was afraid of my dick, I was beyond disgusted with myself.
She was waiting up for me when I got back inside. I wasn’t about to burden her with anymore bullshit for tonight. I wanted her to get past this shit and move the fuck on herself, though I knew that was gonna take some time.
But there was one thing I needed to know. One thing that just couldn’t wait. I couldn’t have been wrong about all this shit, could I? If she erased that image I have of her as a happy kid I think I’d fucking lose my shit.
“Did you ever have any interest in any of those things I asked you about?” she was back to picking at the sheets again as she gave it some thought. Then she looked up at me with those innocent eyes and I felt the pull in my gut.
“I did use to, but aunt Dee always said it wasn’t needed, that it was selfish of me to want those things after everything else you’d done.” I think I’m gonna fucking cry.
“Tell me sweetheart, was there ever anything you were interested in doing outside of school that you got to do?” I held my breath hoping against hope. It had meant something to me, knowing all these years that I was doing something good, something decent.
Knowing that I was saving a little girl from the same fate as me. That shit had got me through some tough shit. Knowing that there was someone halfway around the world who needed me had kept me warm on many a cold night.
Hearing that it was all a lie was like being back in the midst of hell again. I could tell she didn’t want to answer me, maybe because my face was starting to look like I’d slaughter half a damn village with my bare hands. “Answer me sweetheart.”
“You mean other than our trips together when I was little?”
“Yeah baby, that’s what I mean.” She shook her head and broke my fucking heart. I covered my mouth with my hand to hold back the tidal wave that was coming.
Now that I’d unerringly opened the floodgates I wanted to know it all, down to the last fucking detail. But instead of diving head first into the conversation, I decided to change shit up. There was only so much control I could exert over myself and I think I’d reached my limit.
I already knew what had to be done, but I was dead serious about her not ever having to face this bullshit again. So it was best if I left this shit alone for another day. Maybe after I’d shown her how life with me was going to be, then we could take this shit out and shrug at it.
Right now though I was feeling pretty raw and I knew she had to be too, so once again I moved away from the fuckery for both our sakes.
“We forgot to order, what do you want? You can have anything you’d like.” I kept my tone light as I moved over towards her and sat on the bed. She bit her lip as we looked over the menu together. So fucking innocent. Mine.
She was hesitant to do even this and I had to bite back the anger. Good thing I knew what she liked and since it was already late I went ahead and chose for her.
“I’ll get you the buffalo wings and that salad that you like.” They were about all she ever ate when we were together so I knew they were her favorites. “Do you want dessert baby?” Her blush didn’t make sense until she told me that the bitch had been denying her dessert for the last couple of years because they would make her fat and ugly.
It seems that my staying away had given her carte blanche to fuck with what’s mine. Too bad for her, she’d chosen the wrong motherfucker to fuck with.
I didn’t let on to anything that was going on inside me, just placed the order and added a slice of double chocolate cake for her. Her eyes lit up at mention of the treat and I added a few more thumps to Dee and Sal’s asses when I got ahold of them.
By the time room service showed up she was a little more relaxed. I’d stopped asking her the hard questions and had kept things light, just asking her about some show she was into on TV. I’m surprised the bitch let her enjoy that much, because it seemed like she’d been bent on destroying my babygirl’s every pleasure.
I wasn’t surprised that Dee and Sal had taken me for a chump. There was no way they could’ve known my true nature, since I’d never shown it to them. Not that many knew it to be honest, except for those who’d ran the streets with me, and the men and women I’d served with.
The fact that I’d been an absentee guardian, had no doubt given them the impression that I didn’t really care. And so they’d taken that as a green light to continue shitting all over her the way her father had for the first half of her life. Little did they know, he might’ve gotten off easy, but they were in for a world of fucking hurt.
I made sure she ate, and by the way she picked at her food I was inclined to believe the bitch had monitored even that. I had a lot to make up for it seems. What must she think of me? It couldn’t be any worse than what I thought of myself.
“Get some sleep sweetheart, you don’t need to clean that up.” I took the dirty dishes from her and placed them back on the tray on the table. She’d eaten all her food and seemed surprised that no one was going to stop her halfway. Just what the fuck had those two monsters done to her anyway?
Don’t think about that shit Creed, not now, it’s late. Take your hotheaded ass to bed and get some rest. Come at it fresh in the morning. Sometimes I wish my conscience would take a flying fucking leap off a bridge.
With food out of the way, my mind went back to its earlier pastime, which was making love to her in every way imaginable. Poor kid, by looking at her it was hard to tell if she’d ever be able to handle me, all of me, and not just in the sack. I’m not exactly the easiest person to get along with. I have some fucked up ways and ideas that I’d picked up along the way.
I’d made up my own rules and by-laws since I’d been old enough to understand how shit worked. It was fucked that she’d lived the life she had, and was now in my clutches. I won’t abuse her, far from it. But I’m going to be a restrictive fuck where she was concerned.
Because of the shit I’d seen along with my natural instinct to dominate, she was in for it. I know me, and I know what I want from her, and for her.
I know that when I fuck her for the first time, it will be more of a branding than anything else. I’d already made up in my mind that she was going to belong to me in every way possible. The kid I was planning to plant in her was just the beginning.
I’ve already started moving shit around in my head to accommodate this change. No one knew I was bringing her home. Those who knew of her existence were few and far between, and none of them had any idea of what I really felt for her. The only one who knew that I was all the way gone over her was Lawton, and that was because I’d gotten toasted one night and spilled my guts.
He’d since lost his family so he probably didn’t remember that long ago night and what had been said. If he did he never once brought it up. Not that I was worried about being judged, Law now had his own young bride and from what little he’d told me, he wasn’t in any better shape than me.
I had one glaring problem that I could see, and that was the men around me. My life was one of hard living and the men and women I surrounded myself with were of that ilk.
I’ve never denied anyone anything, by that I mean I’ve casted off many a female before who’d moved on to someone else in the crew. It’s just the way of these things. Some innocent soul might lose his life over this one though. I’m pretty sure if any one of those fucks looked at her cross-eyed they might lose that eye.
I’ve never had occasion before now to worry overmuch about my life choices, but now with her, things were going to be different. I couldn’t subject her to the same bullshit I’d let the other skirts endure. I know for damn sure there wouldn’t be any moving on from me for her. She’d be lucky if I ever let her out my damn sight, at least for the first couple years.
That right there is why I’m pretty sure that if anyone else looked at her there was a good chance I’d try to end the fuck. How the fuck was I supposed to keep that shit from happening when I’d never implemented any kind of restrictions in the past? More importantly, how was she going to adjust to my way of living?