Big Easy Temptation (9 page)

Dax studied her stony expression, her tight jaw. She was more upset than she was letting
on.

“I’m sorry. I thought I was helping.” He’d thought he could be her hero. He’d done
it a hundred times over the course of his career, but he’d failed with his woman.

“I know. Let’s get you cleaned up.”

So he could head home. Gabe and Mad were probably somewhere partying it up. He would
sit with his mother and have a quiet, lonely chat over a glass of brandy, see if he
could catch a glimpse of the laughing, happy woman he remembered from his childhood.

He followed Holland toward her place and wished they’d never left the restaurant.

*   *   *

T
his is going to hurt.” Holland winced as she dabbed the antiseptic on his elbow.

Dax hissed slightly but didn’t flinch. More proof that he was completely insane. Instead,
he stared at a stationary point above her head.

“You really should have let me call the paramedics so they could take a look at you.”

He shrugged as she placed the bandage over his wound. “I didn’t want to deal with
the press. It’s better if we just quietly file a report on the theft and leave the
rest out of it. Have you wondered why he didn’t take your purse?”

She moved on to the angry red scrape across his knee. He’d hit the pavement so hard
he’d torn through his slacks, but it didn’t look as if
he needed stitches. The bleeding had thankfully stopped. “I have no idea. He wasn’t
very smart, though. He got the cheaper of the two bags I was carrying. This purse
is actually vintage Versace. Joy bought it for me as her maid of honor. It’s worth
a small fortune, much more than the laptop itself.”

“Was that the only thing in the bag?” His low voice sounded monotone. He’d been distant,
almost removed ever since the asshole had gotten away.

Holland wondered if he was angry or embarrassed that he hadn’t brought the bad guy
down. There was nothing more Dax could have done. “My laptop, an extra battery, wireless
mouse. That’s all. My phone was in my purse, thank god.”

“Was it a particularly expensive laptop?”

“It’s government issued, so what do you think?” she asked with an acidic little grin.
“It sucked. And don’t worry. I already called the office. They shut down any access
from that system and changed every one of my passwords. It’s really more of a hassle
than anything. I bet he was actually trying to get my purse and missed.”

Dax finally cast his gaze on her, his eyes chilly. “He wasn’t. I watched him. He knew
exactly what he wanted.”

A tinge of disquiet rolled through her. “Are you saying someone followed us? How would
they even have known where we were?”

His mouth tightened. “Don’t forget, someone took a picture of us going into Antoine’s.
It was up about five minutes after we entered the restaurant. We were there for two
hours. Unfortunately, it’s not hard to follow someone like me around. All you have
to do is watch the gossip sites.” He glanced at his phone. “I’m glad no one snapped
pictures of me fighting that asshole. That would have made for awesome press.”

With a wry nod, Holland closed up the first aid kit and sat back on her couch, trying
to figure Dax out. He’d been so heroic and intent on saving her. Now he seemed all
but shut down and she couldn’t stand it. She needed to come at the problem from a
different angle.

“I was scared for you,” she murmured.

He stared her way through narrowed eyes. “I know you like to think of me as a spoiled
rich kid, but I am a captain in the Navy. I know how to handle myself in a fight.”

As the truth behind his mood hit her, she softened. He was still feeling the adrenaline.
She’d seen this time and time again after a battle or fight, felt it herself a few
times when she’d gotten into dangerous situations. He needed calm and she was going
to give it to him.

“Yes, but that doesn’t mean he couldn’t have shot you. My laptop wasn’t worth your
life. I back everything up. Every note I had, every file I’ve gathered is saved to
an alternate storage system. Even the notes I took during the interview with my uncle
are saved there. I’ll pull it all onto my home system tonight, so it’s not a big deal.
You were amazing, Dax. I appreciate you for trying to come to my rescue but I never
want you to put yourself in that position for me again.”

His body language softened slightly. “Didn’t like watching him pull a gun on me, huh?”

Her heart had nearly stopped when she’d caught up to them. “If I never see it again,
it will be too soon.”

She’d stood at the entrance of the alley helplessly, knowing she couldn’t get to him
or her own weapon in time. If the assailant had wanted to pull the trigger, she couldn’t
have saved Dax. In that moment, she’d realized she could lose him. And something had
shifted inside her. Yes, she was afraid that a relationship with him could end in
heartache, but was she willing to go her whole life without knowing what it felt like
to wake up beside him? To wrap her arms around him and know he belonged to her? To
surrender utterly to the one man she knew would make everything else worthwhile?

As if their kiss at Antoine’s had taken place mere moments ago, she could still feel
his lips on hers, tempting her as his big body had pressed her, hot and hard, to the
wall. She’d almost been willing to do anything to have him right then and there.

“He got lucky. If I’d been closer, I would have gotten that gun out
of his hand and grabbed your laptop,” Dax vowed. “If I ever see that asshole again,
I’m going to wipe the floor with him.”

She gave him a placating smile, intending to make sure they stayed far away from the
guy. “Like I said, there’s nothing important on that laptop that I can’t get back.
So if this was some nefarious plot to steal my secrets, they failed.”

He fell quiet for a moment. “I find it interesting that you start investigating my
father’s case and someone immediately assaults you.”

He sounded a bit suspicious, like he was looking for conspiracy theories all around
him. She had a few theories of her own. “It was very likely a random street crime.
It’s the season, and we happened to be on the perfect street and at the right time
of day. Or if they were targeting me, it was because of your media attention. If a
reporter thinks we’re dating, they likely want the laptop to get information on me.
Or in case we have stuff stored on it.”

“Stuff?”

She felt herself blush. She really shouldn’t have to tell him what she could potentially
have on her computer that a tabloid might pay tons of money to own.

His lips curled up into a broad, male grin. “You think someone hoped that you had
a sex tape of us?”

“I’ve heard that there’s a bounty out on any of the president’s friends. Well, except
for Mad. He practically has a YouTube channel devoted to his sex life. If we’ve already
hit the tabloid pages, it makes sense that some asshole reporter would try to get
a scoop. He did have a camera bag on his bike.”

“Stupid bicycles should have license plates. I didn’t get that great a look at the
asshole once we turned down that alley. It was too dark and he was wearing that douchebag
helmet. I don’t like that someone is already stalking us. Holland, I should go.”

“Leave?” She blinked at him and resisted the urge to pull him close.

“I think I should,” he said grimly. “Maybe you should stop investigating and we shouldn’t
see each other anymore. It’s too soon after the
giant shit storm of my father’s scandal. Whoever wanted him dead doesn’t want the
truth uncovered. I can’t risk you.”

Yesterday, she would have started singing hallelujah at the thought of Dax not dangling
his tempting self in front of her anymore. Now she couldn’t stand the thought of not
seeing him every day. She’d been a coward where he was concerned for nearly ten years,
always running from this amazing man because she wanted him too much and she’d long
feared he would leave her broken. Yes, he came with baggage. Granted, some phenomenally
wretched baggage, but she couldn’t stop thinking about the loneliness on his face
when he’d admitted that no woman he dated had cared about him enough to know his favorite
foods. She knew far more about him and they’d barely flirted with anything beyond
friendship.

But now Holland had found something she was more afraid of losing than her heart.
She feared losing Dax Spencer forever.

“You’re not risking me. I agreed to help you. And you can’t let a random street thief
derail you from getting the answers you deserve. I’m fine. Let me do my job. And don’t
worry about the press, either. The truth is you’re a lesser Gentleman,” she joked.
“You and Connor are the boring ones. You have a good job and you’re excellent at it.
You don’t dance drunk in Italian fountains.”

“In Mad’s defense, it’s not just Italian fountains. He’ll swim naked in any public
body of water.”

She laughed. His friends were crazy, but they were loyal to the bone. Would Dax be
as loyal to the woman who snared his heart? Would he stand by her the way he did his
friends? Would he forgive her even if she couldn’t give him the answers he wanted
most in the world? “Dax, I don’t want you to go.”

“I don’t want to, either, but it might be for the best. I moved too fast earlier.
I meant what I said. I’m not going to push you again. Our relationship—in whatever
form it comes—is too important to me to lose. I’ll take you any way I can get you.”

Had he been this sweet all those years ago? Maybe he had been and
she hadn’t wanted to hear it. Her younger self had been afraid of being another notch
in his bedpost, but she couldn’t find the will to turn him away now.

She wanted more than a kiss. She wanted more than to have her body hum just being
near him. Now she wanted to follow him down the hall and to find where that hum led,
to finally know what it meant to be Dax Spencer’s lover.

The trouble was she’d convinced him that she didn’t. She might regret this tomorrow . . .
but tonight had underscored the fact that life could be cut short in an instant. She’d
rather regret what she did do, not what she hadn’t.

“Our friendship is important to me, too. That’s one of the reasons I walked away at
the wedding.”

“I thought that was all about your career and my fast-lane life.”

“It was in part.” She’d held the truth in all these years. She hadn’t told anyone,
not even Joy. She’d joked about flirting with Dax and made the easy excuse of not
wanting to be in the spotlight, but there had been more behind her decision. “I knew
I wanted to go into law enforcement. I’ve known since I was a kid. Other girls were
playing princess and I was taking down the bad guys. Maybe I looked up to my uncle
too much.” She shrugged. “Eventually, I realized that I wanted to venture more into
the investigative part of the job. I like the mental challenge of solving crime. But
it’s a tough role for a woman.”

He winced a bit as he sat up, but his gaze remained steady on her. “I can imagine.
Especially down here. It’s still a good old boys’ network in the South.”

“Yes. Oddly, my last name buys me some goodwill. It’s one reason I wanted to come
to New Orleans. Well, and because it feels like home. When you approached me at Joy
and Zack’s wedding, I worried that being your girlfriend would negatively impact my
coworkers’ perceptions of me. After all, if I was dating a playboy, how serious could
I be?” She sighed, reluctant to carry on, but she owed him. “At worst, being in a
relationship with you would have softened me. You always
got me right here.” She laid a hand over her heart. “That vulnerability would have
been a chink in my mental toughness. It was another hurdle I wasn’t prepared to jump.”

She hated how self-centered that sounded, but at that point in her life her career
had seemed like all she had. She’d been driven to establish herself before she dove
into a relationship.

His jaw tightened. “I understand that, but you dated other men. Why did you always
refuse me?”

“I dated men I could never be serious about. I kept it casual. I never had pictures
of them on my desk or called them my boyfriend. I compartmentalized my life. I kept
my dates out of my professional life and vice versa. I wouldn’t have been able to
do that with you. I knew it then. I know it now.”

A slight frown marred his dark brow. “I never meant to disrupt your life.”

“You’re not a man I can take or leave or have a good time with one night and totally
forget the next.”

“You’re the woman for me. I’ve never forgotten you, not once since the moment we met.
I’ve dated other women because I couldn’t have you, but I never forgot and I never
really gave up hope that we would meet again.”

Deep down, she hadn’t, either. She’d always known he was the one man who could make
her want more than her career. “I think if I’d stayed with you that day, I would be
following you around from base to base now, waiting on you to come home. I know many
couples do it. It’s honorable and sweet in a way, but I watched that life nearly kill
my mother. She waited through her best years for my dad to retire but she died before
he could. I feared living like I’m always waiting for something that never comes.
I don’t know that I could be happy. And yet your service to your country is a part
of who you are and what you do.”

“Do we have to make decisions today, Holland? Do we have zero chance unless I leave
the Navy?”

She shook her head. “Of course not. I’m simply telling you how I
felt. How I still feel from time to time. I’m also worried that if I don’t find a
way to restore your father’s reputation, you’ll hate me.”

He moved to sit beside her. “I could never hate you.”

The heat of his body surrounded her, and it took all she had not to lean into his
strength. She wanted more than anything to let go of all her worries for a night,
to see where it could lead. “Never say never, Captain.”

He shook his head and gently turned her face his way. “Don’t distance yourself from
me. I don’t want to be a captain tonight. I don’t want to be a fucking Perfect Gentleman
or tabloid fodder. I want to be Dax, the guy who wants so badly to be with Holland.
Just the two of us, with no outside influences.”