Big Apple Dreams (8 page)

My second audition of the day didn’t feel like it’d gone much better than the first.

At least you were seen,
I comforted myself.
Why do you feel like they didn’t want you there?

Maybe it was because I hadn’t done my absolute best. Could it have been because I wasn’t the prettiest
, or skinniest, girl in the room? There was a possibility I felt bad because the people I sang for hadn’t even looked at me.

You need to stay positive. The parts will come as long as you work hard and don’t give up. Every actor knows that auditions are part of the job. They’ll do more of them than anything else. It’s ridiculous to think you’ll be cast in every show you try out for. This isn’t small town community theatre—this is the big leagues.

Before I’d moved to the city, I’d had a heart to heart with myself about what could happen. My heart sank whenever I thought about it. I imagined myself working at Olive Garden forever, in perpetual jealousy of everyone who got to work on Broadway.

It’s better to stay positive,
I reaffirmed.

The train stopped at my station and I trudged off, not really feeling like going on the date I’d agreed on.

Chapter Eight

A moan gurgled from my throat as Lizzy and I walked through the door, unceremoniously dropping our bags to the floor
and throwing ourselves across the room and onto the couch.

“I. Hate. My. Life,” Lizzy groaned, kicking her shoes off and wiggling her toes.

“It’s like everything else in the city closed down and our Olive Garden was the only thing left,” I said, eyes wide and unblinking as I stared at the powered down television. I didn’t even know if I had the strength to move any more, now that I’d sat down.

“I’ve never seen it that busy,” Lizzy said. “We’re going to have to place an emergency order for new supplies
in order to replace everything.”

“So many people,” I muttered, finally glorying in the blindness I experienced as my eyelids relaxed and closed.

“I don’t even want to know what the evening shift is dealing with now,” she said, shifting around until she became comfortable. “Thank heavens we had the afternoon shift.”

“I still feel like I could go to sleep now and not wake up for a week.” My muscles relaxed and I sank a little further into the couch, letting its soft embrace wrap around me.

“I wish we could,” Lizzy said. “Evan asked if he could come hang out tonight.”

“Oh.”

“Is that okay?”

“Totally,” I laughed, opening my eyes and rolling my head to the side to look at her. “It just means I have to put off getting into my comfy sweat pants and holey shirt.”

“It’s only Evan,” she laughed. “It’s not like anything is going on between you two.”

“True,” I said with a smile. “I haven’t seen him since that audition three weeks ago.”

“Right, the coffee run.”

“That was interrupted by Chris,” I laughed.

“Speaking of relationships, how are things with The Boy Toy?”

“Don’t call him that!” I giggled. “They’re going really great.”

“Oh come on. You have to give me more than that,” she teased, pulling her legs up onto the couch and laying them across my lap. “I wouldn’t even hardly see you if it weren’t for work. You are always out with him!”

“I’ve been at a lot of auditions
, too,” I chortled defensively.

“Those have mostly been during the day
, though. I’m talking about at night. You two are always together. I’m starting to worry that you make it back here every time.”

“What do you mean by that?” I snickered.

“Oh, come on! You spend all that time with him and you’ve never . . . You know. Spent the night?”

“Lizzy Robbins, are you asking about my sex life?” I asked in mock horror. 

“. . .Yes?”

I burst out into heavy laughter, surprised at her boldness.

“What?” she said defensively. “I’m not getting any. I’m about to go dig up my grandmother’s romance novels. It would be a lot easier if you just gave me some deets.”

“Nothing’s happened,” I said after I’d
gotten my chortling under control.

“At all?”
             

“I’ve come home every night, haven’t I?”

“Well, that’s no fun!” she huffed in disappointment. “I thought for sure The Boy Toy was a stud in the bedroom.”

“Oh my gosh, Lizzy,” I said, another fit of tear inducing laughter starting. “Stop. Please!”

“Well, look at him!” She waved her hands in front of us at an imaginary figure of Chris. “He’s totally ripped, has gorgeous eyes, is exactly the right height, and the voice that comes out of those perfectly shaped lips is like melted chocolate flowing into a never ending river of peanut butter! All he has to do is let a woman get a sniff of his cologne and she’ll be passed out on the street!”

“Lizzy,” I gasped, doubled over.

“I don’t know how you do it, Mara,” she continued without missing a beat. “I would have locked him in a bedroom and had my way with him weeks ago.”

“And that sounds like my cue to turn around, leave, and act like I was never here.”

We both looked to the front door and the room fell silent for a moment as we surveyed Evan. His hand was still on the doorknob, a bag from the grocery store clutched tightly in the other. He was wearing all black and a matching leather jacket clung to his torso.

“Evan,” I said, clearing my throat.

It was no use, though. As soon as his name left my lips, Lizzy and I burst into uncontrollable laughter again.

“I’m going to regret staying, aren’t I?” he asked, crossing the threshold and closing the door behind him.

We couldn’t answer, and he seemed to take that as a confirmation.

“Well, I brought ice cream. It’s peanut butter cup
, so you better help me eat it. If not, I’ll take it back to my place and . . . It’s not very manly to stay home and eat a carton of ice cream by yourself. So eat up.”

“What’s wrong?” Lizzy asked
, wiping her eyes.

“Nothing really,” he shrugged. “I just felt like ice cream.”

“Why not take it home and eat it slowly?” I asked, regaining control as well.

“I’m a fat kid at heart,” he laughed, giving me a wink as he pulled a couple of bowls out of the cupboard.

“Yeah, then he discovered girls and spent every waking minute with them, or at the gym,” Lizzy teased, joining him in the kitchen.

“What can I say? The heart wants what it wants,” he said in a mocking tone while shrugging.

“Until you met Steph,” Lizzy said coolly. “Then your heart cut its own wrists and jumped off the Brooklyn Bridge just to get away from her.”

“Lizzy,” he said in a soft warning tone.

“So do you guys want to watch a movie?” I butted in, sensing that they were treading on thin ice.

“Do you have anything that’s not a musical?” he said as he looked over at me again, eyes sparkling. “I went through your movie drawer the last time I was here.”

“Then you should already know the answer,” I ribbed back.

“All right. What do you girls want from the video store then?”

“Cut it out,” Lizzy said, slapping his arm.

She grabbed her bowl and mine and
sat back down, patting the spot next to her on the couch as she placed a spoonful of the cold deliciousness in her mouth.

“I would have thought you loved musicals,” I said, taking my dish and joining her. “Since it’s your job to work with them.”

“I was teasing,” Evan said with a smile, joining us in the living room and sitting on the other side of me. “It’s this thing that brother’s do to their sisters.”

“Ugh. Get out now, while you still can, Mara,” Lizzy said, rolling her eyes. “I’ve spent my whole life as the victim of his brotherly teasing and trust me—that is not something you want to be a part of!”

“It’s not that bad,” he said with an over dramatic eye roll. “Liz just made it that easy to laugh at her.”

“It’s fine, really.” I shrugged, enjoying their company and the look into their relationship. I didn’t have any siblings
. I’d never really been close enough with anyone to feel like an adopted sister.

“So, I assume we were talking about The Boy Toy when I showed up?” Evan said after swallowing his first bite.

Lizzy’s eyes bugged out of her head as she choked on her dessert.

“You actually want me to
keep talking
about a boy in front of you?!”

Blush shot across my face as Evan nodded, a mischievous grin on his lips.

“I have to keep an eye out for my . . . sister. Don’t I?”

“Mara’s too chicken to do anything,” Lizzy laughed, making a silly face at me.

“I am not,” I said, my face getting even redder.

A brief, odd look crossed Evan’s face as he looked at me, but it was gone before I could decipher the meaning behind it.

“It sounded like I should be more worried about Liz kidnapping him,” he laughed easily, turning his attention back to his bowl.

“Maybe you should be,” Lizzy huffed dramatically before winking at me.

“So, how did the rest of your auditions go, Evan?” I butted in, wanting to drive the subject away from my intimate life.

“Steph auditioned us right out of a show,” he said bitterly. “Maybe we’ll try again later. She’s still mad that I blamed her for it not going well.”

“How awful,” I said sympathetically. “If there’s anything I can do to help, let me know.”

“You have your own shows to get into,” he laughed. “How are your auditions going, by the way?”

“Um,” I said, looking down at the floor. “Not great, actually. I’m starting to feel like I’m wasting my time.”

I’d been keeping my frustrated feelings to myself, but it was true. I had never heard anything back from any of the casting panels I’d performed for. My brain told me that it was normal and to keep trying, but my heart was starting to shout out every little imperfection I thought I had.

“You’re not,” Evan said seriously. “That’s how it works here. There are so many actors and not that many parts. Casting directors can literally wait for someone who fit their mind’s image perfectly. The point is to not give up.”

“I know,” I mumbled, stabbing my spoon into the melting blob in my bowl. “I feel stuck
, though. I feel like I’m not going to get any better if I’m not actively working, but no one will hire me so I can do so.”

“Why don’t you sign up for some classes?” Lizzy suggested. “They have loads of them everywhere.”

“Yeah,” Evan agreed. “Then you can still be practicing and growing in your areas, while you go out and audition. Plus, you could make some really great contacts that will help you out in the future.”

“It’s not a bad idea,” I admitted. “I could probably fit a few in every week.”

“I think that would really help you feel better about things,” Lizzy said with a smile. “I’ll even go to some with you, if you want.”

“Don’t let her,” Evan warned. “Lizzy belongs in the kitchen, not on a stage.”

“Aw!” Lizzy said with a smile. “Normally, I’d punch out any man who said I belong in the kitchen, but I know how you meant it.”

She set her bowl down and held her arms out for a hug, squishing me between them as she grabbed him.

“I love you, big brother,” she said with a laugh.

“I love you
, too,” he chuckled.

“I can’t breathe,” I gasped from my cage.

“Sorry!” Lizzy let go of him immediately and sat normally back in her spot.

My skin tingled as Evan
’s hands brushed my arms, pulling away much slower than his sister. I turned to look at his face and the strange look from before was back, but left just as quickly.

“So, how are the new recipe plans going, Liz?” he asked, picking his bowl back up quickly and standing to take it to the kitchen.

“Great!” She launched into a story about how she came up with something that was going to make her future restaurant the star of the city.

Evan looked at me one more time
, once he was in the kitchen, but it was with a soft smile this time. After that, he appeared completely engrossed in his sister’s story, laughing and asking questions when appropriate.

I brushed the butterflies from my stomach and concentrated on finishing my mess of ice cream. By the time I was done, I managed to convince myself I’d imagined the strange looks.
He’d only pulled away so slowly because he wasn’t ready for Lizzy to end to hug so soon.

I need to get my head on straight,
I laughed to myself.
I have Chris. Evan wouldn’t mess with that. Besides, it sounds like he’s got a pretty significant history with Steph. You don’t just walk
away
from something like that.

“Mara?”

“Huh?” I said, pulling away from my own thoughts.

“I asked what your favorite pasta was,” Lizzy said with a laugh.

“Sorry, I got distracted thinking about . . . classes.”

She started telling me about her pasta ideas
, and I listened intently this time, despite the fact that Evan had rejoined us and the butterflies had returned in my stomach.