“Seriously?” Clay was on his feet.
“Seriously.” Eric laughed. “I know. I can't believe it myself.”
Clay walked around the table and gave Eric a hearty hug, slapping him hard on the back. “I'm so happy for you.” He held on for a few seconds and then he hugged Laura. “Congratulations.” On the way back to his seat he gave Josh a light punch in the arm. “You're going to be a big brother, eh, Josh?”
“I guess.” He flashed a lopsided grin at his parents. “I just found out this morning. It's kinda hard to believe.”
Jamie leaned forward. “Congratulations, guys. That's wonderful.”
Sierra wanted to know if Laura was having a girl baby or a boy baby, and Laura tried to explain that it was too soon to tell.
The conversation took wing, shifting from the idea of a little one running around the house to Josh's basketball abilities to Sierra's make-believe dress-up games and the meaning of the jester hat.
When they hit a lull, Eric held up his finger. “Wait!” He wiped his mouth with a napkin and uttered a quiet laugh. Then he looked at Laura. “Can I tell them about your run-in with the law?”
“What?” Clay's eyes got wide. “Laura Michaels had a run-in with the law? I've got to hear this.”
“Sort of.” Laura gave Jamie a weak smile, and then lifted her shoulders in Eric's direction. “Ah, go ahead and tell it.”
Eric was immediately in his element, explaining how Laura had to go to the mall before Josh's basketball game, and on the way home she was in a big hurry. “Apparently she'd missed the on-ramp for the freeway and tried to make a sweeping U-turn across six lanes of traffic.” He laughed and patted her hand. “But she still didn't have a bead on the on-ramp, so she straightened out and wound up in oncoming traffic. That's when she heard the siren.”
“I was scared to death.” She looked at Jamie for sympathy. “They changed that whole intersection. It's impossible to figure out which lane gets on to the freeway.”
Jaime nodded, trying to look earnest, but wanting to laugh out loud.
“So then—” Eric winked at his wife—“when the officer pulls up behind her, she parks with her two right tires way up on the curb.
Laura raised her brow, her eyes dancing. “I wanted to stay out of traffic.”
“So the officer comes up to the window, taps on it, and tells her, ‘Ma’am, I have several concerns.'”
“Yes,” Laura nodded. “That's right. Several.”
Everyone was laughing now. Eric waited until he caught his breath to continue. “The officer was so flustered he didn't know what to do.” Eric anchored his elbows on the table, his laughter getting the better of him. “So they call for backup and give her a sobriety test. My Laura, standing there near the Thousand Oaks Mall exit to the Ventura Freeway, getting a sobriety test.” He grabbed at his sides, still laughing. “‘The amazing thing is,’ the officer told her, ‘you really haven’t been drinking.'”
The kids were smiling at each other and shrugging their shoulders. Josh was busy helping Sierra butter her dinner roll.
Clay stopped laughing long enough to turn to Laura. “So what'd they get you for?”
She shrugged. “Nothing. Isn't that great?” She smiled at them, triumphant. “After I passed the test, he told me to buy a map and be more careful.”
“Glad it wasn't me.” Clay leaned back in his chair and took a long breath. His eyes were damp from laughing so hard. “I would've ticketed you for sure.”
“Why?” Laura was indignant. “For parking on the curb?”
“Nope.” Clay exhaled long and loud. “For impersonating a drunk driver.”
The laughter continued throughout the meal, but even as they chatted, Jamie kept glancing at Clay, sensing his nearness to her and thinking about Eric's question, the one that had been on her own heart for the last week or so. Especially during the days when she and Clay had been apart. It was a question that might have to be answered one of these days, so as they finished dinner and cut into dessert, as they continued talking over coffee and finally as Clay helped them gather their things and head for the car, Jamie let it play again and again in her mind.
How
did
she feel about California?
T
WENTY
-S
EVEN
Clay did everything he could to make the minutes last, but on Sunday afternoon he drove Jamie and Sierra back to the Burbank Airport. The trip had been better than either of them had hoped, and even Sierra was sad to leave. They had decided that he would help them in with their luggage and say a quick good-bye.
Their real good-byes were said the night before, in the hallway outside Jamie's hotel room. They'd gone to Disneyland that day, and Sierra had fallen asleep on the way home. Clay carried her up and set her on the nearest bed, and then he and Jamie snuck into the hallway.
For a while they did nothing but look at each other. Clay broke the silence first. “I'm trying to imagine how I'll get through a week without you.” They were both leaning against the same wall, a few feet from each other. Clay reached out and took her hand. “What're we going to do?”
Jamie ran her thumb along the side of his hand, her eyes never leaving his. “I could cancel our flight.” Her tone was light, half teasing.
“Forever?” He looked back at her hotel door. “Maybe live here for a year or so?”
“Right.” She gave him a sad smile. “I had a wonderful time, Clay.”
“Me too.” He took a step closer. They hadn't kissed once since Jamie had been in California, and Clay was almost glad. She needed to sort through her feelings, figure out how to act around Eric—and how she felt about Clay outside of the routine they'd found on the East Coast.
But now that everything had worked out, now that she was comfortable around Eric, and after a day of holding hands through Disneyland, Clay didn't want to wait another minute. He closed the gap between them and took her into his arms, hugging her the way he'd known he wouldn't get to at the airport. “Jamie,” he whispered her name near the side of her face. “I'll miss you so much.”
She drew back first, searching his eyes. “When will I see you again?”
“I don't know.” He brought his hand up along her cheek and worked his fingers into her hair. “I'll come for Christmas, maybe, how about that?”
Her eyes lit up. “Really, Clay?”
“Yes.” He kissed first one cheek, then her other, never breaking eye contact. “If I can wait that long.”
“Clay ” She hugged him closer, clinging to his shoulders as if she were desperate to find a way to keep from leaving him. She pressed her cheek against his and suddenly, with an intensity that had been building since she stepped off the plane the day before Thanksgiving, the mood between them changed.
Their lips met, and they kissed. Slowly at first, and then with an intensity that seemed to take both of them by surprise. “Jamie ” He was breathless. “If we spend much more time like this, I know I won't last a month.”
“Maybe that's a good thing. That way you'll come to New York sooner.” She framed his face with her hands and kissed him in a way that left no doubts about her feelings. When she pulled away, she looked straight to his soul. “God brought us together, don't you think so?”
“Yes.” He stroked her hair, memorizing the look in her eyes.
“Then why does it feel like everything's going to change after tomorrow?”
He brought his lips to hers once more. “We'll be three thousand miles apart, but nothing's going to change. Nothing.” His breathing was shaky, his body on fire for the way she made him feel. “Christmas is a month away, okay?”
“Okay.”
They kissed one last time and then said good-bye.
Clay had been restless all night, dreading the airport scene. He kept telling himself the same thing he'd told her. Christmas was only a month away. But now, as he turned his Jeep into the airport parking lot, December 25 felt like a lifetime away. The three of them were quiet as they walked into the concourse and Jamie checked her bags with the attendant.
Boarding passes in hand, they found a place near a concession stand where they were out of the flow of traffic. Sierra took the lead. “Bye, Clay.” She hugged his waist and gave him a teary smile. “Thanks for a fun time.” She glanced at Jamie, and then crooked her finger in his direction. “C'mere. I wanna tell you a secret.”
“Okay.” He bent down so she could whisper whatever she wanted to say. “What's the secret?”
She cupped her hands over her mouth and pressed them on either side of his ear. “I wish you were my second daddy, Clay. Wouldn't that be great?” She leaned back, her eyes dancing. Then she came in close again. “But don't tell Mommy, 'cause she told me telling you that might make you confused.”
Clay's heart soared, but he checked his reaction. Grinning at Jamie, he whispered back at Sierra. “Can I tell you a secret?”
Sierra nodded.
“I wish I were your second daddy too.”
Sierra jumped back, her eyes big. “Really?” This time her voice was almost too loud. She clapped her hands and did a little circle dance. Then she hugged him again and her excitement faded as quick as if someone had thrown a bucket of water on her. She crooked her finger at him again, and once more he bent close to her. Her words were slow and sad. “Yeah, only you can't be my second daddy because we don't live in the same place.”
He looked at Jamie and she gave him an understanding smile. They had time; if Sierra needed this private conversation with him, he had Jamie's approval. He cupped his hands over her ear and whispered back to her. “Let's pray about that. And maybe one day there won't be so much space between us, okay?”
Sierra took a step back. Her expression was still sad, but a smile played on the corners of her lips. “Okay, Clay.” She hugged him one last time. “Good-bye.”
He ran his hand along the back of her head. “Good-bye, Sierra.”
She pointed to a drinking fountain a few feet away. “Can I get a sip, Mommy?”
“Sure, sweetie.” Jamie looked at Clay. “I guess this is good-bye.”
“No.” Clay came to her, hugging her, and giving her a brief kiss. “It's only see ya later.”
Tears formed a shiny layer over her eyes and she nodded. Sierra returned and stood at her side. “See ya later, Clay.”
He watched them go. They went through security and waved one last time before heading down the hallway toward their gate. Only when he got back to his car did he realize how badly he was going to miss her, how much he wanted her in his life. Because that's when he noticed something that hadn't happened to him as far back as he could remember.
His cheeks were wet.
T
WENTY
-E
IGHT
The weeks of December took forever to fall off the calendar.
Jamie continued volunteering at St. Paul's, but only once a week. Twice she worked a shift with Aaron Hisel, but their friendship wasn't what it had once been. At the end of the second shift, he approached her in the break room upstairs and stuffed his hands in his pockets.
“There's someone else, right?” His tone wasn't angry or defensive, but matter-of-fact. “I saw you with him once at the café.”
Jamie thought about denying it, but it was impossible. He was right, and more so every day. She ran her tongue along her lower lip and prayed for the right words. “Yes, Aaron. There is.”
He looked at the floor near his work boots and gave a slow nod. “I thought so.” His eyes found hers again and he shrugged. “I guess it never would've worked anyway. The whole faith thing, you know? We never would've agreed about it.” He paused. “I've thought about it, Jamie. I can't believe in God. I'm not ready, not even for you.”
Her heart sank. “I'm sorry, Aaron.” She touched his shoulder. “I can only tell you what I've told other people here, people who can't get past September 11.” She hesitated. “God believes in you, even if you don't believe in Him. He'll keep calling to you the way He's been calling to all of us since the beginning of time. Since Adam and Eve hid from Him in the garden.” She let her hand fall to her side. “One of these days, I know you'll hear Him, and then you'll understand. Without Him, nothing makes sense. Nothing at all.”
His lips lifted in a crooked smile. “Maybe.” He took a step back. His eyes told her he was uncomfortable, ready to end the conversation. “If that ever happens, you'll be the first to know.”
“I'll be praying.”
She hadn't seen him again after that. The days continued to pass slowly, until even Sierra seemed irritable.
“How many days, Mom?” she asked over dinner one night.
“Twelve. He'll be here in twelve days.”
She set her fork down and frowned. “That's too long. Can't we call him and tell him to come sooner?”
“He works, Sierra. He's in training.”
“But he could do training here, right, Mommy?”
The conversations were the same every night, and once in a while Jamie let Sierra have a turn on the phone when Clay called. When Jamie took over again, she and Clay talked about their days. Later, when Sierra was in bed, they talked about their feelings, about where things were headed and how they could solve the problem of the distance between them.