In the dream I suppose what I felt was true love – as if my heart would burst every time I was near him, as if I wouldn’t be allowed another breath of air unless I was with him. I don’t feel anything like that now, but I do feel drawn to him. Like I said…I can’t put my finger on it but the attraction, whatever it was, was undeniable. Right now I was not in love with this boy, my dream lover. I felt the need to tear myself away from him as if my life depended on it. It was like two parts of me fighting to win in an arm wrestle. One side needing to be suspended in his aura while the other side, the critical one, took two giant steps back to further investigate.
I sat there, on the sofa now only a few inches away, incredibly still – solid as ice. If I didn’t then I may very well just melt into a puddle on the floor if I allowed myself to feel these new emotions that were beginning to arise within me. Instead of melting, I backed away a bit, so that we were about a foot apart. I was unable to reciprocate what he felt for me. Evan didn't seem to be upset with my lack of feelings for him. Instead he looked at me and nodded, appearing to accept the fact that I wasn't in love with someone that I didn’t know.
I stood up, a little too abruptly and then Evan stood up too. We were face to face. There was a familiar feeling that radiated from his intense gaze. It held me captive the way it had every night for weeks. Evan looked at me like something he would never tire of looking at. As if I would always remain the exciting and dazzling new toy.
Amazingly, I didn't feel shy around Evan, just… unsure. I'm not accustomed to tragically dying and being brought back to life by the man of my dreams –
literally It was all inconceivable to me yet I was here now and living it. I didn’t know what if anything I could have done to be dealt this hand to play out.
I felt the sudden urge, although underlying, to run out of the room. But where would I run to? Helpless and alone, I knew no one but the three teenagers that stood in front of me. I looked over at Bethany and Nikolas again. They looked genuinely happy. I didn’t remember ever seeing them more exultant. I wished that their feeling of elation was contagious so that I could have a genuine desire to smile. Nikolas and Bethany appeared relieved to be back. Watching them carrying on now, like two little kids, proved how difficult it must have been for them to live a lie for two whole years just for my benefit. Just so I could live pleasantly in my fake life.
The idea of being alive again was unfathomable yet I felt alive through all of my senses even if I was dying inside. I want more than anything to be alive and living anywhere even here – Nickel City, but in the future where everything made complete sense. I can’t believe I’m going to say this but… I miss my boring, monotonous, and uneventful life so much I could cry, but I’ve maxed out my tears.
In the future my life may have been somewhat pathetic, but I’d rather that than this daunting new lease on life. My wish for living has been granted but the jokes on me. I quietly began to pray for my memory, which I hoped would return soon. I reflected on what Evan said. What does it mean to be the first daughter of Tieron, the Empress of the Ischeros? Fearful and curious, I wonder.
Am I really expected to rule over a group of people? Am I supposed to be bowed to? Evan said once I begin to remember my past, my gifts and powers will return. In fact, I’m the most powerful person on the earth.
Yeah, right.
Anyone who really knew me would never ever believe such a ridiculous notion. I’m just not a confrontational person, and have never been in a physical fight. I hated and avoided confrontation if I could. I've always tried to be a person who spoke up for what I believed in. I’m willing to fight for what I believe to be worth the battle but my punches will be thrown on paper, in written word.
The idea of fighting evil with my bare hands was not what I had in mind. I was equal parts punk and wuss. Those qualities could not be expected of the most powerful person on the earth. So they had to be wrong about me. I knew they were erroneous from the core of my soul.
I needed air. I felt claustrophobic and queasy. There was so much to try to grasp, like the fact that I was being hunted. Evan, observant and overly attentive, noticed what must have come across as a look of confusion. Or did he detect despair and desperation?
I sauntered passed Bethany and Nikolas and went to the window again. I looked out to an ancient Victorian world that I couldn’t relate to. Remembering what I learned over the years in history class regarding the way of life for the people living at the turn of the nineteenth century was not enough to prepare me to live it. I wasn't even sure if there was electricity and indoor plumbing. Ugh!
“Don't despair. Please try to be patient.” Evan pleaded softly as I turned my beseeching gaze to Bethany. I wanted her to tell me something that would help make sense of the farce that was taking place.
“Delia, we love you and want you to feel safe with us as you always have. I know this is extremely difficult to comprehend but please try to understand.”
Bethany wiped tears from her eyes. “The anguish you feel is felt through us as well.”
I heard every word Bethany said and I trembled all the while I listened. I couldn’t take my eyes off her dress. The way she looked in it; perfect. My best friend, my only friend, belonged here. They all did. Nikolas was finally free to be himself, an incredibly good – looking wine guzzling teenager who just happened to be a fierce centaur.
“Come with me Delia. I will help you to dress, and then I will show you around the house. Perhaps viewing the rest of the house will help you to remember a little.” Bethany was sympathetic as she took my hand and led me out of the room.
I took one last look at Evan before following Bethany out of the living room. He and Nikolas were speaking in hushed tones across the room. Evan was leaving the room, and heading through the opposite archway that led to the library with Nikolas following closely behind him. They walked through the draped archway and vanished before my eyes. With a gasp, I quickly turned to see if Bethany saw what I had just seen.
“Did you just see that? They disappeared like ghosts, like… vapor.” I whispered utterly stunned by their magic. “Where did they go?”
Bethany gave me that smirk I was used to, and looked at me knowingly. “Yes I saw them. They are going to meet with the elders to notify them of your safe return. Everyone will be overjoyed. That’s what they were whispering about.”
“You heard them?” I didn’t bother hiding the wonder in my tone.
“Of course. It’s in our nature to heighten all of our senses, just one of the many gifts we possess.” She smiled. Her eyes looked deceptive –
shadowed. Bethany had to know, that in my head, I was officially losing it right now. But if she did, she sure didn't allow herself to show it. She wasn’t the Bethany I had been close friends with for the last two years. Just the day before, she had been a fun loving modern day teen without a care in the world. I stared at her, trying to understand how she had become this elegant young Victorianesque teenager with supernatural talents. I shivered, at the prospect of learning more.
Six
My First Visitor
Bethany, the happy hostess, was all smiles as she led me into the grand foyer. The transformation was galling. Every corner had a piece of fancy furniture or a potted fern or palm. And the echo was gone, although it was quiet; an eerie kind of quiet as if at any moment something lurking in a corner, or from behind a piece of perfectly carved furniture may pop out, and make itself known. I did my best to focus on what I was seeing, and not what may be there…waiting. No matter how beautifully decorated this house looked I still felt the vacantness of it. Something wasn’t right.
Along the walls of the spacious foyer were gilded frames that housed paintings or photographs of a person I'm sure I should remember, but couldn’t. They were all strangers with eyes that surveyed your every move. I followed Bethany up the winding staircase. As I ascended, my eyes were met with more of the same perfectly placed paintings of landscapes, portraits, or vintage looking photographs in various sizes.
Halfway up the stairs, I was forced to stop, abruptly like I hit a wall. I felt bolted to the step I stood on. One particular photograph caught and held my attention, causing a frosty surge through my bones. It was a rather large photograph that took up a quarter of the museum like exhibit. The portrait was of a young woman dressed perfectly for this time period. The eyes of the young woman bore into mine as if she could see me; judge me. I stared into hers. I couldn't steer my eyes away from her. Dear God, she was me. It was a black and white photograph of me. I knew I had never been photographed dressed like that; looking like a product of this day. Maybe it was a twin that I didn’t know I had. Impossible, I thought. But anything was possible here and
now
.
By now, Bethany was at the top of the next landing, and had just come to realize that I was not following her. Before I could bat my eyes or ponder another wild suggestion to how I was trapped in that photo, Bethany was at my side. I quickly recovered from the blustery downward current of air; the aftershock of Bethany’s accelerated speed hitting me in the face. Although impressive; no sense in wasting a special gift by walking down the stairs, it explained how she had immediately vanished when she had run out of the cafeteria the day before.
“You sat for that photograph two days before you went to the future. You were very content with it, although everyone agrees that you are much more beautiful in person.” She paused for a moment as she evaluated the photograph. “I think it captured your innocence while expressing and defining your blossoming maturity. You were very happy that day.” Her eyes lit up as she eyed the photograph.
I spoke the only words that came to my fragile and exhausted mind. “Why was I happy that day?” I asked.
Bethany turned to me, and smiled. “You were excited about your fifteenth birthday celebration.”
“Oh,” I gulped.
“The photograph was a commemoration,” Bethany said, turning her gaze back to the oval shaped frame.
“It's bizarre.” I wouldn't allow this photograph to confirm that I had been here before. Bethany took my hand, and guided me up the stairs. When we finally arrived at the second landing, she led me down a long hallway with four sets of double doors.
“Evander’s bedroom is first, and then mine,” Bethany said, and then as we passed the third set of double doors, Bethany said, “This is Nikolas’. On the third floor are the children’s rooms, and my parents’ room. The guest bedrooms are also on the third floor.” I had no idea which children she spoke of, and couldn’t imagine children living in this eerie house.
Bethany opened the last set of double doors with an old fashioned skeleton key, revealing two large rooms equal in size. “This is your chambers.”
She nodded for me to enter.
The two rooms were divided by a set of opened French doors covered with busy lace curtains. One of the rooms was furnished as a sitting room.
The other was furnished as a bedroom. They were the most elegantly decorated rooms I’d ever seen although; it wasn't the first time I’d been in these rooms. About two years ago – in the future, I had visited Bethany, and had been in these two rooms. I had just arrived at her house, and was in her bedroom when we heard someone knocking at the front door. Bethany had left me in her bedroom and had gone to see who it could be. We were the only people in her house so I thought it strange when I heard voices in the hallway, which seemed to be in conversation. I left her bedroom, and went to check it out.
In the hallway, I saw no one. I went further down the hall, and realized that the voices were coming from behind another set of double doors a couple rooms away; my set of rooms now. The doors to the room were slightly cracked open. Being the curious person that I sometimes wished I wasn't, I peered into the room. I’ve never forgotten the spinechilling feeling I experienced the moment I entered the room, as If I wasn't alone. But the room was vacant of anyone, and unfurnished. I was a hundred percent certain that I had heard voices coming from within the room. I spun around to run out, and slammed right into Bethany. I blurted something out to her, and the echo of my voice reverberated throughout the room. The unnerving thing was that when Bethany spoke, there was no echo of her voice. It gave me the creeps. I haven’t been in these rooms since then.
I tried to push the creepy memory out of my mind because the room looked so different now – a lot less creepy – but not totally inviting. At the far end of the two rooms, there was a king sized four poster bed of dark carved cherry wood. It was majestic, and fit for a queen or an empress; I flirted with the thought then quickly erased it from my mind. The notion was just too far off.
Staring at the huge bed, I sauntered up to it, carefully eyeing the luxurious fabric that made up the bedding. It was ivory quilted satin with lush velvet accents and fringed borders.
Bethany watched as I looked around. “Take your time… dinner won’t be for another hour.”
I hadn’t thought about food since dying. Now that Bethany had mentioned eating, I felt a bit hungry. I nodded and continued to take in the poshness of my new digs. I checked out the large matching vanity and two massive dressers. There wasn’t a flake of dust on any of them.
By the far right wall was a screen divider embroidered with rose colored flowers that I figured was changing screen. Bethany sat in one of two large ivory tufted chairs and continued to watch me as I toured the room. Between the two chairs was a small table covered in fringed fabric. Opposite the two chairs was a chaise lounge covered in the prettiest rose colored brocade fabric. It faced the ornate fireplace that had looked like a gaping black hole, covered in dust, the last time I’d seen it.
Bethany smoothed the fabric of her dress with her hands and gazed out the second set of French doors which led to the balcony. She jumped up, opened the doors, and stepped out onto the balcony. I followed, not wanting to be left alone in the room. The view was as breathtaking as it always had been. The majestic Sierras were even more beautiful than I remembered greener in many parts with iced snow caps further behind.