Believe (10 page)

“Forget?” His brow furrowed with puzzled anger. “I do not wish to forget. ’Twas not a mere—”

“Stop it right there.” Her voice carried a slight tremble and she hoped he wouldn’t notice. “I’m serious. This was no big deal. It was a mistake. That’s all. And it’s not going to happen again. I’m not here to relieve the lust of some medieval hunk.”

“Lust?” His hands clenched at his sides. He was a towering figure of outrage. “’Twas not mere lust when I held you in my arms.”

“What was it then?”

“I do not know.” He ran his hand through his tousled hair. “I—” He shook his head.

“Look, you’ll find out what Merlin has in store for us as soon as he tells you and not before.” Good. Her shaking had stopped. “And it won’t do you any good to try to get it out of—” She stopped and glared. “Was that what this was all about? You thought you could seduce the information out of me?”

A look of distinct discomfort crossed his face. “Perhaps, at first, I may well have considered—”

“You—you—” she sputtered with anger. “You fraud! The noble Galahad. What a crock. What happened to chivalry and honor and all that stuff?”

He drew himself up and glared. “’Tis not a question of my honor.”

She raised a brow. “Oh?”

“’Tis a question of strategy. Women are well known to reveal much in the throes of passion. You have knowledge that I suspect I should know.” He stepped toward her. “And I will learn it.”

“Well, you’re not going to kiss it out of me. I can’t believe I almost fell for it.” She whirled and took a step.

He grabbed her arm and yanked her back. “’Twas the thought in my mind at the beginning but not at the end.”

“Let go of me!” She clasped her hands together and twisted, her elbow stopped short of his stomach by a steel grip. “Ouch!”

Sparks shot from his eyes. “Sister Abigail may not have taught you well enough. A knight will be caught unawares but once.”

She wrenched out of his grasp and stepped back. “I’ll keep that in mind. And we need to get a couple of things cleared up right now.”

“Very well.”

“You and I are going to be partners in this little adventure of Merlin’s. Strictly a professional relationship. That’s it. Period. Get it?”

He shrugged. “As you wish.”

“It’s exactly what I wish.” She turned and stalked off in the general direction of the castle. For just a moment she’d thought he had the same feelings she did. A passion so deep it scared her. Emotions she’d never even suspected existed. When she got back to that crummy, primitive castle she was trapped in, she’d have to have a long cry about this.

Could it possibly be love? Her step faltered at the thought. No, of course not. This happened way too fast for love. But even basic lust had never been this strong. No man had ever turned her on this way. Not just her body but her mind, maybe her soul. All she knew was whatever she felt for him was powerful and terrifying. Under other circumstances, sex with him would be okay. All right, it would be great. Fantastic. Fireworks and the Fourth of July and whatever in the hell passed for a good time in the Middle Ages. But there was no way that could happen now without involving her heart. Damned man. It was obvious he was still in love with his dead wife. And not even here, before her world was ever dreamed of, would she allow herself to love a man who couldn’t love her back.

His horse pulled up beside her.

“What?” she snapped without looking.

“’Tis a long walk back, my lady.” She could hear the smile in his voice.

“I’m not your lady.” She ground her teeth together. “And I’m up for a long walk.”

“I think not.” He reached down and grabbed her.

“Hey!”

Galahad scooped her up onto his horse and settled her in front of him without the slightest effort.

“You are so annoying.”

“As are you.” He paused and she knew if she looked back at him he’d be grinning. “My lady.”

They rode on in silence for a good five minutes until Tessa gave up trying to sit straight and tall and as far away from him as possible. She relaxed against him. Why did he have to feel so good?

“The king is expected back today,” he said in a casual manner.

“So I heard.”

“’Twill be a great feast tonight.” She refused to answer. Finally he sighed. “’Tis then I will ask him a blessing for my quest.”

“For the Grail?” She held her breath.

“For the Grail.” His voice was even and carried a strength and determination she couldn’t help but admire.

“This is it then.” Was it excitement that fluttered in her stomach? Or fear? “The start of the adventure.”

“I have had adventures aplenty. This…this shall be different.”

“No duh, pal,” she said more to herself than to him. How was she going to go with him and keep her distance at the same time?

“I am sorry we shall not endeavor to perform whatever minor task Merlin has planned but ’twill be no time. I shall leave Camelot as soon as possible.” He paused for her answer but she hadn’t the faintest idea what to say now. She hated to lie to him but she definitely wasn’t about to spill her guts with the truth.

“I shall miss you, Tessa,” he said softly and she steeled herself against the way her heart twisted at his words.

“It won’t work this time.” She shook her head. “Like you said, a knight will be caught unawares but once. There was more to Sister Abigail’s classes than physical self-defense.”

He chuckled and they rode on in silence. She might as well enjoy it while it lasted. Galahad would go ballistic when he found out he’d get exactly what he wanted but there would be strings attached. And they’d be tied firmly to her. She meant what she said. From now on it was strictly business. Then she’d go home. The Big Guy would be relegated to an occasional class she’d be forced to teach. Exactly where he belonged and she’d be…what? On her way to Greece? Funny, even Greek gods paled a bit beside her legendary knight. Of course, he wasn’t her knight and he never would be. Not even if she wanted him to be. Which she didn’t.

She shifted in an effort to achieve some minimal degree of comfort and he tightened his grip. It was impossible not to let the warmth of his body seep into her own. This was the last time she’d ask him for a ride. This sort of thing couldn’t happen in a nice, comfortable car where everybody had their own seat. Damn, she hated the Middle Ages.

She was pretty sure, by the time they got back to the castle, her butt would ache nearly as much as her heart.

W
hat in the hell was she supposed to do now? She was as out of place, awkward and uncomfortable as a nudist at a black-tie affair.

Tessa stood in the back of the great hall, half hidden behind one of the huge columns that rose like redwoods to a soaring ceiling at least two stories high. The columns marked the separation of a gallery bordering three sides of the immense chamber. Huge vibrant tapestries depicting knights and ladies, unicorns and lions and all kinds of interesting things hung from a balcony directly above the gallery. People, equally colorful, mingled and chatted and took their places at long tables. Tessa had to admit, it was as magnificent as an epic movie and just as overwhelming. Big-budget, feature-film perfect.

And it looked like the director had just yelled “action.”

Abruptly, all conversation ceased. At the far end of the room, a multi-colored cloth-covered table rested on a raised dais. Two women sat at the table, a man centered between them. Two other men stood poised behind them, as if they had just gotten to their feet.
She recognized Galahad on the right. Even from this distance she could see he was upset, the lines of his body taut with controlled anger. The figure beside him, nearly as tall and dark, laid his hand on Galahad’s arm, the action as much to restrain as to calm. In front of the dais, guards flanked a tall blond man, his bearing proud and erect, his stance defiant.

The room was still, tense, attention focused on the confrontation at the head table. The voices of those involved were raised. She couldn’t make out the exact words but the tones were unmistakable. Bold insolence rang in the blond man’s voice. It was obviously a threat. Galahad lunged as if he was about to vault the table but the knight beside him stepped forward and blocked his move. The still seated man rose to his feet with a measured dignity. Nobility and strength radiated from him like a beacon in the night. Her heart caught in her throat.

Arthur.

The king leaned forward slightly and addressed himself only to the younger man standing before him. His words were too low to distinguish from her place in the back of the room but she suspected, even if she were at one of the front tables, she still wouldn’t be able to hear what he said. In spite of the crowded hall, a distinct air of privacy hovered around the two. The king straightened and nodded sharply at the guards. They stepped back.

Arthur and the blond seemed unaware of their audience. Their gazes locked in a quiet battle of will, a wordless struggle, a silent confrontation. Long moments ticked by. Tension in the hall increased until Tessa wondered if the castle itself would explode with
the pressure of pent-up emotion. At last, the man before the king snapped something, his voice sharp and hard, turned and strode the full length of the hall. Tessa moved deeper into the shadows cast by the column. She had no idea who this guy was but staying out of his way seemed like a smart idea. He passed within inches of her but so quickly she barely glimpsed his face.

She glanced toward the dais. The king sank down in his chair and lifted a goblet to his lips, apparently a signal for the festivities to resume. The anxiety in the room eased, the murmur of voices increasing.

“Welcome to Camelot.” A voice sounded behind her.

“What was that all about?” Tessa glanced over her shoulder. “And where have you been?”

Merlin’s voice was grim. “I have been here all along, my dear.”

“What’s going on? Who was he?”

“Mordred.” Merlin looked as if he was about to say more then decided against it. The tone of his words lightened. “Are you quite ready for tonight? You’re not nervous, are you?”

“Nervous? What do I have to be nervous about?” It wasn’t like this was her first feast with a legendary king and queen in merry old England. She should have come earlier with Oriana for moral support but Tessa had concocted one excuse after another to stall the inevitable, until the girl left without her. The teenager had helped her dress in a gown probably whipped up by Merlin. No, definitely provided by Merlin. This one was more a bronze than a mustard but still in the yellow family that looked so awful on her.

“I think it quite becomes you.”

“You would.” She studied the scene before her. On the main floor, trestle tables were laid out perpendicular to the dais. It looked a lot like the arrangement of every faculty banquet she’d ever been to, right down to the elevated level of the head table, obviously the king’s. Galahad sat at one end, an empty space beside him. “I heard you had a little chat with the Big Guy. This whole thing is driving him nuts, you know.”

“He shall get his answers soon enough.”

“Tonight?”

“Tonight.”

Galahad leaned over and spoke with the man in the next chair, the one who had held him back earlier. She hadn’t noticed at first but now she could see a distinct resemblance. “Lancelot?”

Merlin chuckled. “Like father, like son. The family connection is unmistakable. And next to him—”

“Guinevere and…” Tessa’s voice dropped to little more than a whisper. “Arthur.” Regardless of her opinion of the Middle Ages and the Arthurian legend, the presence of this king and queen was awe inspiring. Like coming face-to-face with Apollo or Helen of Troy and finding out they were—

“Living, breathing people,” Merlin said quietly. “As real as you are, Tessa.”

She couldn’t pull her gaze away. Guinevere was the epitome of grace, stately and slender with hair the dark blonde color of gold. Beside her, Arthur chuckled at some unheard remark, every inch a king with a powerful air of command and confidence. Salt-and-pepper hair with a straight, strong posture, he wore a short, neatly trimmed beard that only added to an overall effect of nobility. The king and Lancelot both looked
like they were in their early fifties, Guinevere maybe a few years younger.

“I always thought he was a lot older than she was,” Tessa said.

“Myths, legends.” Merlin sighed. “Do what you will, they tend to get completely out of control. They evolve under their own power, you know. Stories passed down for a hundred years or so change in the telling. Add to that movies and you can well imagine my irritation.”

“You asked for it.”

“You needn’t remind me,” he said with annoyance.

“Who’s the woman at the other end of the table?” There was an empty spot between Arthur and a dark-haired woman, who looked a shade older than the queen.

“Viviane. My wife, more or less.”

“More or less?” Tessa bit back a laugh. “I didn’t know you could have a wife who was more or less. Either she’s your wife or she’s not.”

“The term itself is relative. She and I have been together for centuries. Viviane is a lovely creature. Most of the time.” There was a wry note in his voice.

“Is she the one who enchanted you and locked you in a cave or something like that?” Tessa grinned at the thought of Merlin being on the receiving end of his own tricks.

“Now, now, none of that. Remember there is a great deal of difference between myth and reality. That portion of the legend was a bit of a joke on my part, not that she ever saw the humor in it. Viviane’s magic is quite remarkable but not nearly as strong as mine. As much as she would dearly like to imprison me on occasion, and with Viviane it would more likely be a
condo than a cave, she simply doesn’t have the power. Not now, not ever.”

Viviane tapped her fingers on the table, boredom written across her face.

“She doesn’t look very happy.”

“You and she share the same opinion of this period in time. She doesn’t want to be here any more than you do.”

“Wise woman.”

“She thinks so.”

Tessa’s gaze drifted back the length of the table to the one face that drew her attention more than any other. He was gorgeous all right but abruptly, she realized he could have been downright ugly for all the difference it made. It was his character, his soul, that drew her to him. He had a purpose to his life and the strength to see it through to the end. Nothing was more compelling than that.

She turned and leaned against a column. “He’s not going to be happy when he finds out about me.”

Merlin shrugged. “We all have our crosses to bear. He shall simply have to adjust.”

“Tell him that. How are you going to get him to go along with it? With dragging me on his precious quest? All in all, the man doesn’t seem to think much of women.”

“Ah, but my dear, it shall be up to you to change his mind.” Merlin raised a bushy brow. “I gather he already likes you. Quite a bit.”

The memory of his lips hard on hers flashed through her mind and she pushed it away. “That was a mistake.”

“Was it?” Merlin said softly.

“Yes.” Tessa’s voice was firm. “It was. And it won’t happen again.”

“No doubt.”

The wizard’s tone was noncommittal but she could tell he didn’t believe it for a minute. Too bad. She admired Galahad and respected him. She even liked him. And that was as far as she would let it go. She could be his friend but that’s it.

“That’s all I wish, Tessa. You are here only to help him. I ask for nothing more.”

“You ask for nothing more? That’s a laugh. Don’t try to scam me, Merlin. You and I both know I’m stuck here until he finds the Grail or—hey!” A nasty thought struck her. “What happens if he doesn’t? If we can’t pull this off? What happens if—wait a minute. He could get killed, couldn’t he? We could both get killed.”

Merlin nodded. “That is a distinct possibility. Indeed, there is a great deal of risk in a quest of this nature. But it’s the difficulty that makes it such a challenge. And such an adventure.”

“I could do with a little less adventure and a little more security, thank you,” she said sharply. “You didn’t answer my question. What if we fail?”

“Tessa, my dear,” Merlin said with a slight smile, “while it is always preferable to find what you seek, it is not always necessary. The end is not as significant as the path to reach it. With whole heart and mind, the prize must be well and truly sought. Nothing more is required.”

“It’s not whether you win or lose that counts, it’s how you play the game? Is that what you’re saying?” She stared for a long moment. “That’s all this is to
you, isn’t it? Some kind of silly, magical game that you’re playing with people’s lives. With my life. With Galahad’s.”

“Does it really matter what it means to me? Isn’t the more important question what it means to him?” Merlin directed his gaze toward the hall.

She turned and watched Galahad’s exchange with his father. It was obviously a lighthearted conversation but even now there was an intensity about the man that belied his banter.

“It means everything to him,” she said quietly.

“He doesn’t stand a chance without you.”

“I don’t get it.”

“Frankly, you don’t have to.” The wizard’s voice was cool. “All you have to decide is whether or not you are willing to let him sacrifice his dream if all he needs to achieve it is you.”

“This isn’t my decision.” She shook her head. “You’ve already made it for me.”

“I’ve set the wheels in motion but without your wholehearted participation there’s nothing even I can do to guarantee success.”

“You’re saying if I really don’t want to do this, I can go home?”

“Don’t be silly. I’m not saying anything of the sort.” Merlin scoffed.

“I didn’t think so.”

“What I am saying is that victory, Galahad’s victory, is contingent not only upon your participation but your enthusiasm.”

“More of that how-you-play-the-game stuff?”

“Exactly.”

She stared at Galahad. “So it’s really up to me?”

“You do play a critical role.”

“And he can’t do it without me?”

“He never could.”

Tessa sighed. How could she let him down?

“I knew you’d see it that way.”

Tessa clenched her jaw. “Would you please let me finish a thought before you answer it?”

“Very well.” Merlin raised a shoulder in a superior manner. “I simply thought I’d save time.”

“Time? You do know how to turn a phrase.”

“It’s a gift.” He grinned. “Speaking of which, you should probably not mention to Galahad precisely where you come from.”

“Oh? You don’t think he can handle knowing his new partner in crime is a time traveler?”

“Galahad is no fool but even the most sophisticated minds have difficulty with a concept as abstract as traveling through the ages. It is inevitable that at some point in your journey together, it will be necessary to confess everything. I advise you choose that moment carefully. Aside from everything else, Galahad quite values basic virtues. Things like honor and honesty.”

“I haven’t lied to him.” She thought for a moment. Of course, there was his mistaken impression about her widowed status that she’d done nothing to correct…“Not about that anyway.”

Merlin raised a brow. “Perhaps not directly. But will he agree? Isn’t a sin of omission just as dishonest as a outright lie?”

“I suppose.”

“Do not look so disheartened, my dear, I am simply advising you to bide your time as to when to reveal the truth. And now…” He offered her his hand.

“Now what?” she said, narrowing her eyes in suspicion.

“Now,” his voice was annoyingly patient, “place your palm flat upon the back of my hand and I shall escort you and introduce you to the king.”

“You’re kidding.” Something far too large to be butterflies leapt in her stomach.

“He’s really quite charming.”

“I’m sure.” Tessa rested her hand on Merlin’s. “What do I do? What do I say?”

“It’s just like in the movies, my dear. No script, of course, but feel free to ad lib. Play it by ear.”

“You’re a lot of help.”

“I know.” He chuckled. “I am having a great deal of fun.”

“Glad one of us is,” she muttered.

Merlin started toward the dais. “You seemed to have enjoyed a moment here or there today. That was one bloody impressive kiss.”

She released a long exasperated breath. “I really hate the idea of you being able to see everything I do.”

“Get used to it.” A wicked light glimmered in his eye. “This is just the beginning.”