Behind the Bedroom Wall (10 page)

“Korinna, did you hear me?” Rita demanded as they walked to their
Jungmädel
meeting on Friday.

“What?”

Rita looked at her friend through narrowed eyes. “What's the matter with you today?”

“I'm sorry,” Korinna said. “I feel a little light-headed. I must still be sick. In fact, I don't think I should stop at your house and then go to the meeting.”

“I don't blame you, after what happened yesterday,” Rita said.

Korinna almost thought she saw a smirk on her best friend's face. But she must have imagined it, she told herself quickly.

“That's not why,” Korinna said defensively. “I'm just feeling a bit tired. You go on. Tomorrow you can tell me what happened.” She started to turn down a side street toward her house.

“I don't think I'll go today, either,” Rita said unexpectedly, turning the corner with her friend. “I'll come home with you. It's been so long since you've had me over after school, Korinna. And remember, your mother did invite me over this week.”

“But that was before—” Korinna abruptly cut herself off.

“Before what?” Rita asked.

Korinna shook her head, “Never mind. But you can't come over anyway.”

“Why not?”

“I ... my mother isn't expecting you,” Korinna stammered. “She won't have enough food prepared.”

“That's fine. I won't stay for dinner. Your mother won't mind if I just stop by, will she?”

At one time, Korinna knew her mother wouldn't have minded. But now that the Jews had moved in.... She wondered what the Krugmanns were doing at that moment.

“You know I'm always welcome at your house,” Rita persisted. “What's gotten into you?”

“What?”

“There you go again!” Rita exclaimed. “You're impossible!”

Korinna shook her head as though to clear it. “I'm sorry, Rita, I really must still be sick. Maybe it's better if you don't come over,” she said, forcing herself to sound calm.

“I'll only come for a little while. Unless, of course,
you
really
don't want me to,” Rita said in a casual voice.

Korinna sighed. They were almost to her house. “No, it's alright. You can come over, but not for too long. I think I should lie down for a bit before dinner.”

“Fine. I won't stay long,” Rita said as she preceded her friend to the front door and walked in without waiting for Korinna.

Korinna followed on her friend's heels. “Hello, Mother,” she called as soon as she was in the house.

“Did you have to yell right in my ear?” Rita demanded, lifting a hand to her right ear. “This house isn't that big.”

Korinna smiled wanly at her friend, then turned her attention to her mother who'd just stepped into the small front hall.

“Why, hello, Rita,” Frau Rehme said politely. “I haven't seen you here lately. You should stop by more often.”

Rita turned her head slightly and grinned at Korinna. Korinna didn't bother smiling back.

“Thank you, Frau Rehme. Korinna and I decided to skip our meeting this afternoon. We thought it was best after what happened at yesterday's meeting.”

“Oh? What happened?” asked Korinna's mother with a raised eyebrow.

Rita's eyes flew wide. “You mean Korinna didn't tell you the awful thing that happened?”

“No, she didn't,” Frau Rehme said. “But I'm sure you will,” she added wryly.

Korinna poked her finger into her friend's back. “It was nothing. Come on, let's go upstairs.”

“But, Korinna, you really should tell your mother what happened yesterday. I'm sure she wants to know.” Rita turned to Frau Rehme. “Korinna was slapped by one of our leaders for not saluting the flag properly!”

“Oh, is that all?” Korinna's mother turned to her daughter. “You really should do things properly, dear, or you'll be punished. It's only right that your leader slapped you. You must learn to be more respectful.”

Korinna lowered her gaze. She couldn't believe her mother was responding like this. She hadn't wanted to tell her about the slap yesterday because she hadn't wanted her to get upset. But her mother wasn't upset. Korinna felt a lump form in her throat.

“Korinna?” her mother said gently.

Korinna looked up. Her mother's eyes shone with tears. She
was
upset! It suddenly dawned on Korinna that her mother just didn't want Rita to know. She smiled tremulously at her mother.

“You're right, Mother,” she said evenly. “I was just tired from not feeling well these last few days. It won't happen again. I promise.”

“I should hope not,” Frau Rehme said firmly.

“Let's go upstairs,” Korinna said to her friend. “Or maybe we should just sit in here,” she amended
quickly, pointing to the front room. She didn't want to chance Rita hearing any “mouse noises” from behind her wardrobe.

Rita shook her head. “No, let's go up to your room.”

Korinna reluctantly led her friend up the stairs.

In Korinna's room, Rita said, “I thought your mother would get upset about the slap.”

“Then why did you tell her?” Korinna asked loudly as she purposely dumped her book bag noisily against the wardrobe. She hoped the Krugmanns could hear her talking to Rita and would keep quiet.

“I just thought she ought to know. You are her daughter, after all,” Rita said defensively.

“Next time let me do the telling,” Korinna said, unable to keep the anger from her voice.

“Sorry.”

Korinna glanced at her friend. She didn't look sorry. “Oh, forget it.”

“Where's your kitten?” Rita asked.

Korinna froze. She'd forgotten about the kitten. Where was she? With Rachel?

“Here, kitty,” Rita called, leaning down and looking under Korinna's desk.

“No. Don't do that,” Korinna said quickly, fearing she'd hear a soft meow coming from behind the wardrobe. “She doesn't answer to that. She'll come out when she feels like it.”

Rita frowned. “Where does she hide? Can we go look for her?”

Korinna tried to sound enthusiastic. “Sure, let's try downstairs. She loves the kitchen.” She knew they probably wouldn't find the kitten anywhere except behind her wardrobe, but at least she was getting Rita out of her room and away from the Krugmann's hideaway.

The girls found Korinna's mother in the kitchen. “Mother,” Korinna said. “Have you seen my kitten?”

“No, I haven't, dear. But let me help you look. I'll search upstairs,” Frau Rehme said quickly, hurrying out of the room.

“Haven't you named your kitten yet?” Rita asked.

“Not yet. I can't think of a good name,” Korinna said, making a show of looking for her kitten behind the stove.

Rita stooped to look under the kitchen chairs.

“Here she is,” Frau Rehme called from the top landing.

Korinna followed her friend up the stairs.

“So she was up here after all,” Rita said, taking the kitten from Frau Rehme's hands.

“Thank you, Mother.”

Korinna's mother squeezed one of her daughter's hands as they passed each other on the stairs.

“She's cute,” Rita said begrudgingly, tickling the kitten on the stomach. The kitten kicked and clawed with her sharp nails. “Ouch!” Rita exclaimed. She yanked her hand away from the kitten's grip. “She tried to bite me.”

Korinna smiled, taking the animal from Rita.
“She's just playing.” She scratched her pet behind the ears.

Rita moved to sit on the edge of the bed, as Korinna continued to stroke the kitten.

“My parents are the enemy,”
Rita read out loud.

Korinna's head jerked up. Her hand reached forward to grab the black notebook from Rita's hands, but she wasn't quick enough. She had left the book under her pillow.

“What does this mean?” Rita asked, standing on the bed to hold the book above Korinna's reaching hand.

Korinna's heart leapt to her throat. “Nothing. It means nothing. I was just mad at my parents one day. I don't even remember why.”

Rita jumped off the bed and hid the black book back under Korinna's pillow. “Better watch what you write,” she warned. “If a
Jungmädel
leader read that, she'd ask you a lot of questions. Of course I believe what you just told me, but a leader might not.” Rita's eyes darted around the room. Was it Korinna's imagination, or did her friends eyes rest a little longer on the wardrobe than on anything else?

Korinna was glad when Rita said she had to go home.

“Don't tell anyone about what I wrote,” Korinna said. She wasn't ready to turn in her parents yet.

Rita paused in the doorway. “I won't. Your secret's safe with me.” Then she raced down the stairs and out the front door.

When she was sure Rita was gone, Korinna tore the page out of her black notebook and put the book in her bag. She took the page and ripped it into tiny pieces, trying not to think about what she was doing.

After dinner, Korinna sat down at her desk and tried to do her homework. She wrote a short essay and studied her history book, but it was hard to concentrate for some reason. Finally she gave up. Looking out the window, the murky sky depressed her. She closed the drapes to shut out the gloom, but it didn't help. The gloom had settled in her heart.

On sudden impulse, she knocked on the wardrobe, then slowly pulled it away from the wall. The candlelight from the hidden room spilled out into her bedroom. Sophie, pale, eyes wide, stared up at Korinna. No one spoke for a full minute. Korinna didn't know what to say. What was she doing?

She caught Rachel's gaze. The little girl's eyes were dark and wide like her mother's, but while the mother's held fear and suspicion, Rachel's eyes looked sad and lonely.

Still Korinna couldn't speak. She motioned for the little girl to crawl out of her cramped space into Korinna's room. Rachel asked her mother with her eyes, and after a slight pause, Sophie gave a curt nod. Rachel scrambled out from behind the wardrobe, and Korinna pushed it back into place.

Korinna and Rachel sat in the darkening room, facing each other, legs crossed, elbows on knees.

“Do you want to play?” Rachel whispered.

Korinna shrugged. “Play what?”

“We could play dress up, or house,” Rachel said, her excited voice soon rising above a whisper. “You could be the daddy and I'm the mommy. Or let's play soldier.”

“Soldier?” Korinna said.

“You're a soldier and I'm a Jew and you capture me; then we switch places and you're the Jew.”

“Why would you want to play that?” Korinna asked sharply.

“I've never played it before,” Rachel said, her voice dropping as though she sensed she'd said something she shouldn't have.

“Then how do you know about this ... this game?”

“The boys who lived nearby used to play it.”

“What boys?”

“Hendrik and Werner, and some of the other boys.”

“Were they Jews?”

Rachel's eyes widened. “No,” she whispered.

Korinna shook her head. She didn't understand the heat she felt inside. She didn't understand her sudden longing to take little Rachel on her lap and sing to her. She didn't understand anything anymore.

At that moment, her mother walked into the bedroom. She pulled aside the wardrobe and said, “The sun has set. I thought you'd like to know.”

“Thank you,” Frau Krugmann said, laying aside her sewing.

Puzzled, Korinna watched Rachel crawl back behind the wardrobe.

“It's time for the Krugmann's Sabbath prayers,” Frau Rehme said, as though sensing Korinna's question.

She looked to say good-bye to Rachel, but what Frau Krugmann was doing caught her eye instead. She had turned a box upside down and on it she had placed two candlesticks. Visions of a similar scene popped into her head, and she recalled her childhood friend Anita inviting her over for the Sabbath prayers and dinner a few times. It had been so long ago she'd forgotten. But now a strange yearning for her childhood washed over her. How simple it had been then, with Anita Scheinmann as her best friend, and nothing more to worry about than whether her dolls had enough to eat, and if Papa would tell her a story after supper.

The Krugmanns now stared at the candles, waiting to be left alone. Quietly Korinna pushed the wardrobe against the wall, shutting out the soft sound of the melodic Hebrew prayers.