Beetle Juice (20 page)

“I am not hungry,” he said. “But if it is not too much to ask, how about playing a game of cards?” He had learned that many of the Amoeba residents, having time on their hands, played with cards.

She was surprised and pleased. “I have cards!” She fetched a deck. “What shall we play for?”

“Kisses.”

Soon they were playing a card game she called War, which consisted of laying down one card apiece, together, and the higher one captured the lower one. Petula leaned forward to play her cards, and he saw into her marvelously low décolletage. This was exactly what she intended, but it thrilled him anyway, these supposedly accidental peeks into the cleavage of her breasts. When the two cards matched they had a spot war, piling three cards face down on the first ones, then one more face up, and the higher card took them all.

Wetzel won the first war. “Ha!” he said gleefully. “You must pay me one kiss!”

“Oh, darn,” she said with mock reluctance. She yielded gracefully enough and it was a very nice kiss.

When another war came, she won. “My turn!” she exulted. “Pay up!”

“Oh, my,” he said, barely feigning his own reluctance. This game was fun. He held her and kissed her.

He finally won the game. “You know what that means, wench? You are mine!”

“I am lost,” she agreed, lowering her gaze as she slipped out of her clothing.

They adjourned to her bed. He kissed and stroked her, finding her nicely responsive, and in due course completed the act. This was far better than it had been with her friend Paige.

Glorious!
That was Ladybug, reveling in his climax.

Then they cleaned up and played another game of War. “Oh, I wish we could keep you here at PinkPebble Village,” she said. “You are accommodating my foibles so well it is almost as if you are reading my mind.”

He was doing exactly that, but it was not expedient to say so. “I almost wish I could,” he agreed.

“Could read my mind, or could stay here?”

“Both.” That wasn't actually a lie. “I'm sure your mind is delightful, and a stay at PinkPebble would surely be delightful too. But as you know, I have this thing about virginity.”

“I do know,” she agreed. “Pisa blames herself.”

“It's the way virgins are. If I could stay longer, having time to properly court them, then I could make it with them. But I couldn't settle down with them. That's what I mean: I can't
stay
with a virgin. Because she doesn't remain a virgin.”

I do.

You are a constant joy to me, LadyBug,
he thought sincerely.

Petula nodded, not being in the mental circuit. “We appreciate your problem. I think Pinkie's working on it.”

“Wish her luck,” he said without hope. “It's an unkind paradox.”

They continued playing, kissing with each war. Petula won the second game. “Aha! Now you are mine! Get on that bed.”

I love the way she loves it!

They played far into the night, both enjoying the game almost as much as the sex. If this was typical of the way PinkPebble treated a man, it would indeed be a nice place to settle. But what about when he ran out of their virgins? He would have to move on.

In due course they slept together in both the sexual and literal senses. Petula was so eager to get pregnant that she was almost as demanding as Vanja, and almost as pleasant to be with.

Almost
LadyBug agreed.

Petula kissed him fervently when they parted in the morning. “I think we connected,” she said, meaning conception.

The second night was with Paula, a blonde dragonfly girl. She was not much for romantic pretense, but did her best to be seductive, and succeeded. The dragonflies hovered, watching the detail of the action. She, too, was pleasant to be with.

There is something to be said for calculated seduction.

The third night was with Pearl, who had moths; her hair was almost nacreous, like pearls or special moth wings. She was a virgin.

“Now don't get nervous,” she said soothingly. “Not all virgins are touchy. I am not personally attracted to you, and I wouldn't want to marry you, but I can do this. It's like a business transaction.”

“Normally virgins are not at first attracted to me. It's part of my curse.”

“But a realistic one can do the necessary with dispatch.” Her mind backed her up. She stripped and showed herself off, and she did have conducive equipment, then gracefully accommodated him when he came to her. “I do lack experience; you will have to take the initiative. I promise to accede without balking.”

“I appreciate that. I prefer to kiss you first.”

“That I can do.”

They kissed, and continued from there. She was tense, as the curse made her dislike this, but her discipline overrode it. Possessing her virginity was glorious, and the appeal did not fade immediately, so they were able to do it several times, thrillingly.

With each repetition her aversion diminished, and by morning she was beginning to like it. But by then she was of course no longer virginal. The curse had not lost its force.

“I believe I am getting to like you,” she said as they prepared to rejoin the others. “If you should wish to settle down…”

“I would have to keep servicing virgins,” he reminded her. “You would not like that.”

She made a moue. “True.”

Too bad,
LadyBug thought.
I liked them all, but there was indeed something special about doing that virgin. I wish I could be her.

“If we find a male, you can be your own virgin.”

The intensity of her reaction surprised him. Sex with a male scarab would kill her, but she desperately longed for it. She tried to imagine Wetzel's little liquid efforts as the hint of the huge fire-hose effort of the male, filling her, distending her to the bursting point so that she could expire in sheer bliss. But that was beyond her power, and she had to settle for the vicarious driblets.

Wetzel had looked forward to her possible mating and demise with quiet dread, but now he realized that it was indeed her fulfillment. He wanted her to achieve it.

Thank you.

Wizard was now recovered enough to travel. It was time to go to Scarabia and search for a male scarab.

“One other thing,” Pinkie said.

“You are not satisfied?” Tod asked cautiously.

“I am satisfied with the deal we made. But I would like to know how it turned out. Please, have Wizard scry my girls to see which of them are pregnant.”

They all laughed. It made so much sense!

Scrying was one of the less demanding magics Wizard could do. They brought the six girls in to him one by one, and he confirmed that one of Tod's, the virgin, was pregnant. And that all three of Wetzel's girls were pregnant too. They were overjoyed. Their effort of having sex with the two men during their most fertile days was paying off.

“We have simply got to have you with us,” Pinkie said to Wetzel. “I'd love to have you in my bed for a night, too.” Though she was older, no slender filly, and no virgin, she was breedable and he saw in her mind that she well knew how to please a man. She had a naughty dream of him coming to her wordlessly, throwing her on the bed, and forcefully penetrating her and injecting his seed. The notion turned her on so strongly that the mere thought came close to giving her an orgasm. “I would surely enjoy that,” he said politely, and it was the truth. Rough sex could be fun when both parties wanted it that way.

“We're looking for an offer you can't refuse.” She was serious, but as yet had no such offer in mind. Obviously she couldn't provide for his ultimate need: a perpetual breedable virgin. He doubted anyone could, though he still foolishly hoped.

“Good luck.”

They moved on to the men's village of RedBrick. Tod and Veee walked ahead, holding hands, and Wetzel in unicorn form carried Wizard.

“I fear severe complications,” Wizard remarked as he rode. “We will have to leave the Amoeba, and that is bound to be mischief.”

“Your magic will work outside?”

“Oh, yes. That's not the problem. It's that the Amoeba is a protected environment. When we leave it we can be separated, hurt, or killed. You saw how it was on Refuge.”

“I did.”

“And we are likely to encounter poachers. These may be utterly vicious men who will not hesitate to kill anyone who tries to interfere with their criminal business. Your telepathy and my magic should help considerably, but it is still no easy business. The women especially will be at risk.”

“They will be,” Wetzel agreed. “Vanja can handle it or escape it.”

“Actually so can Veee. She has been involuntarily taken by many men in the past. She may handle that better than the prospect of voluntarily doing it with any man other than Tod. It is emotional fidelity she is trying to give him, more than physical. Still, it will be better to avoid such ugliness if at all possible.”

This is true. Veee lent me her human female outlook so I could have vicarious sex with you, but that was me, not her. She likes you but does not want sex with you. Because that would be voluntary, and she might really like it, and that would make her be emotionally untrue to Tod.

Exactly. It was the same reason he did not want to have sex with Veee, pleasant as it might otherwise be. They could be true friends only as long as it remained platonic. Her virginity with respect to him made her a better friend.

Wetzel thought of something else. “Assuming we find a male scarab, how can we get it safely through the Amoeba and to Refuge? I understand male scarabs can't survive here.”

“I have pondered that during my recovery. I even did a private scry I think is valid. I can't scry the Amoeba itself directly, but I can pose spot questions and come up with likely answers. I gather that there is a certain ambiance the Amoeba maintains, to keep things compatible for occupants of any kind, including atmosphere, gravity, language, and reproduction—”

“Reproduction!”

“Populations are stable here. People can breed only so long as there is local room for them. Part of the suppressive aura affects the men, and part the women. The longer a person remains within the Amoeba, the more he or she is affected. The women of PinkPebble can breed because they have not come close to filling their allotment. If they are able to resume breeding, in due course they will complete that allotment, and then no more babies will be conceived regardless how often they have sex.”

“No wonder they are so eager to be the first!”

“Yes. But they will not have to be concerned about that this year or next. One reason you and Tod are so appealing is that you have not spent your lives within the Amoeba, so your fertility remains strong. But that suppressive aura affects the male scarab, who has not a little seminal fluid but a lot. What is a trace effect to a human male, who is constantly expelling ejaculate and generating new semen, is significant to the scarab, who takes a year to build it up. One-fifth to one-quarter of his body mass, in fact. His own fluid will heat and boil and destroy him. So he can't be exposed to that aura, not even for a little while. He will have to be shielded from it.”

Yes, he must,
LadyBug thought with horror.

“How can he be shielded?”

“This may be where you come in, Wetzel. It seems that a sufficient mass of flesh can damp down the aura, at least for a few hours. A human man wears much of his reproductive equipment outside his body, ready prey to the aura. A woman's equipment is mostly internal, so is better shielded. So most women can conceive with fresh males if the allotment allows it. The need is to put the male scarab into a massive living body, to shield it for the trip through the Amoeba.”

“You are thinking of my unicorn form!”

“That may indeed be the reason you were selected for this mission. Your mass.”

Wetzel chuckled. “I was warned that the Amoeba's reasons for choosing people are not necessarily complimentary to those people.”

Wizard shrugged. “It is merely a conjecture.”

“Confirmed by scrying.”

“Sometimes I misinterpret a scry.”

“How would I put a scarab inside me?”

“He could be put into a capsule which you could then swallow.”

“Wouldn't the beetle suffocate?”

“I have learned that they can go into temporary stasis, and survive on very little air for weeks if they need to.”

“How would I get it out again?”

“It would emerge on its own, in the normal course.”

“As a turd!”

Wizard shrugged. “Perhaps you have a better idea.”

Unfortunately Wetzel didn't. He dropped the subject.

We bugs are not as wary of turds as you fleshly folk are. They can be nutritious. Some of our related species, the dung beetles, use them as sustenance for their young.

“I appreciate your encouragement,” Wetzel muttered.

“Something else,” Tod said. “When Veee visited my frame, not only was she ghostly, but her language was completely foreign. How will we be able to communicate with anyone there?”

“This, too, I have pondered,” Wizard said. “There are a myriad languages in the worlds and times and alternate universes, with no single compromise language available, not even sign language. We shall have to use cards.”

Cards? Wetzel thought of the games he had been playing.

“Picture cards,” Veee said, understanding better than Wetzel did. “I will draw a number of stick figure examples.”

“We'll need a reusable tablet too,” Wizard said.

“Such things should exist at RedBrick Village,” Tod said. “Vanja can do some wheedling.”

They arrived at RedBrick Village, where Vanja was just wrapping up. “That is some damsel you have,” Red said appreciatively as Wizard dismounted and Wetzel reverted to manform. “She not only did the whole village, she brought news of possible rapprochement with the women of PinkPebble. It seems they are willing to exchange sex for babies.”