Becoming a Jett Girl (The Bourbon Series) (41 page)

The thing that really bothered me was I felt like I knew more about her than anyone. I had a strong pull gravitating me toward her the moment I saw her drawing my mom’s grave. I wasn’t lying when I said I thought my mom brought us together, but why she did, I had no clue. I often talked to her like Goldie talked to her parents and I told her I didn’t need anyone, that I was happier than when I was with Natasha, so why my mom thought it was necessary to bring a bold-mouthed, sassy, honey-haired girl into my life was beyond me.
 

Fuck. I ran my hands down my face trying to get the image of Goldie out of my head that I just conjured up. She really was so sassy, so incredibly soft and her eyes, fuck, they spoke a million words when you just looked at them. She was audacious; funny…God was she funny and sexier than any other woman I had seen naked. The only thing wrong with her was she wanted something I couldn’t give her, that I wouldn’t give her, a relationship. It was written all over her face.
 

The door to my office crashed open as Kace stood in the doorway with his chest heaving. The minute his eyes connected with mine, I realized that he was about to kill and I was his prey. Fuck.
 

He charged toward me and grabbed me with both hands by my open shirt and tossed me on my desk.
 

“What the fuck are you thinking? You’re just going to let her go?”

A maniacal laugh came out of my mouth as I took another sip from my glass bottle. “This coming from the person who didn’t want her here in the first place.”

Kace ripped the bottle out of my hands and threw it against the wall, making a loud crash and a wet mess. My wall had been taking a beating lately. Golden liquid slid down my wall as anger raged through my body. Not even knowing what I was doing, my body slammed into Kace’s and took him down to the floor. We scrambled on the floor as we threw cheap shots at each other. The fact that I was fighting with an ex-professional boxer who had the ability to kill a man with one punch should have shown me that I was pretty drunk, but I didn’t care. It felt good; the blows Kace was giving me took away the other pain that was radiating through my body.
 

We rolled on the floor and I wound up on top of Kace, giving me the chance to throw a punch to his jaw, which he wasn’t able to block. The crunch of my fist to his jaw was a welcome sensation. Kace’s face barely flinched and his fist made contact with my face shortly after. My head flew back, giving Kace the opportunity to struggle free. He stood and hovered over me as I looked up at him, pressing my palm against my now-bloody mouth.

“You feel better, dickhead? Is your rich, pitiful ass trying to prove something? That you’re a match for me? Keep wishing; I could destroy you if I wanted to.”

I stood up and got right in Kace’s face as I said, “It’s funny how fast you can forget that I hold the keys to your future. If anyone can destroy someone in this room, it’s me. So watch your fucking mouth.”

“What’s this really about, Jett? You really going to let Goldie run off to Rex? Just like Natasha?”

I felt my jaw clench down at Kace’s low blow. The urge to drive my fist through his smug face was overwhelming, but reason won over, knowing my bloody fist was not going to solve anything.
 

Instead, I turned around and said, “Get out. Make sure she gets home safely…wherever that is.”

“So that’s it, you’re just going to let her go because you are too damn stubborn to let yourself see what you have together?”

“And what is that exactly?” I asked, as I turned around to face him.
 

“Fuck if I know, but what I do know is that you’re a different man when she’s around. You care for her and if you care for her, then why the hell are you going to let her walk away, especially walk to Rex? You know he won’t treat her well. He’ll only wind up using her until he’s done and then toss her away like every other woman that’s graced his sorry dick.”

I didn’t answer Kace. I just looked at the ground, trying to not push the man out of my office with all the pent-up force in my body.
 

“What did you say to her that made her storm out of here and straight to her room?”

“It’s none of your damn business.”

“Fuck, man, when are you going to realize the fact that, for some unknown reason, I care about you? That I actually do give a fuck what happens to you? You can be such a stubborn asshat sometimes. Fuck!” Kace dragged out as his hands ran through his hair and he turned around, not being able to look at me.
 

Blowing out a frustrated breath, I spoke up, “I can’t give her what she wants. I told her I didn’t want her here and I didn’t deny her claims of bringing her here to get back at Rex.”

Kace spun around and looked me dead in the eyes. His arms dropped to his sides as he tried to figure out what was wrong with me.
 

“Dude, I know I gave you a hard time at first for bringing her here for all the wrong reasons, but that was until I heard the real reason. Why didn’t you tell her about the cemetery?”

“I fucking did!” My temper rose. “I fucking told her in the cemetery, but then she went off to talk to Rex and…I just lost it when she questioned me and believed him. If she wasn’t going to believe me then, she sure as hell wasn’t going to believe me now, after she spoke to Rex. It’s just better this way.”

“Better for you or better for her? Because, from where I stand, you’re a narcissistic ass who is pushing away an amazing girl because she broke your walls down. She made you actually question your life and brought you a glimpse of true happiness for brief moment in time. She’s scared you and instead of tossing away the vagina you have under your pants, you have hung your balls up for life and refuse to give her the chance she deserves. Give yourself a chance to be happy. She was doing well here, Jett. She was harmonizing well with the girls, she was a member favorite and she was actually getting her shit together. Now that you are sending her away, what does that mean for her future? She doesn’t have enough money to do anything. It will last her a couple of months, but what does she do after that? Go back to Kitten’s Castle, get paid for sex and hope to make her payments every month? You can’t fucking do that to her, not because she felt for you, because she actually turned metal-molded you into a human again. She doesn’t deserve that kind of treatment and, to be honest, it goes against everything you believe in when it comes to the Lafayette Club. Yes, you might not want a relationship, but you can’t turn her away now, not when she was ready to become a Jett Girl. You owe her more than that.”

Kace looked me in the eyes and said, “Don’t be a pathetic excuse for a man who only thinks of himself. Strap your sorry-ass balls back on and take charge before she goes and does something completely stupid, like marrying Rex Titan.”

Pain seared through my skin as the thought of Goldie marrying Rex became a possible reality in my head. That could not happen. Kace was right, I was being a narcissist. I was so wrapped up in protecting myself that I forgot that I wasn’t protecting Goldie, like I promised.
 

“Fuck!” I shouted, as I passed by Kace and headed toward my bedroom to grab a box that I should have passed along a long time ago. I didn’t need Goldie making me feel, making me want more than I’m ready for, but hell if I was going to push her toward a life full of misery. She was better than that. She had potential and, when I first saw her, I swore to myself and to my mom that I was going to help her fulfill that potential.
 

Chapter Forty Three

“Stay”

Goldie/Lo

I didn’t know how long I had been crying, but I knew it was for a long time because, by the time I peeled my tear-soaked face off my pillow, it was completely dark outside and I could barely open my eyes from them being so swollen. I knew I had to get going…that I had to leave before I was actually kicked out, but leaving the warm confines of the bedroom Jett so beautifully put together for me was heart-shattering. Even though I was confused as fuck as to who to believe, my heart still ripped apart from being torn away from Jett. The man did so much for me, even though he ended our “partnership” brashly and with little remorse. He still changed me…made me feel whole again.
 

I walked to the bathroom and wet a wash cloth with warm water to press against my eyes. I didn’t want to look too scary when I returned back to Lyla’s. She was more than happy to have me stay with her, but I was going to have to sleep on the couch, since Crystal with the massively large tits that scared the hell out of me, now occupied my old room. She didn’t question me on the phone, but the tone in her voice said we were going to have a very long conversation once I got back to her place.

I put down the wash cloth and stared at myself one last time in the perfectly lit bathroom. I had the same clothes on that I arrived with, sans underwear, since I wasn’t allowed to keep the “cheap polyester.” Stupid fuckhead of a man, I thought, as I walked out to my bedroom. I grabbed the pillowcase of my measly items, took a deep breath, and turned to walk to the door.
 

My heart lurched in my chest as I saw Jett standing in the doorway holding a flat medium-sized box. He was still in his unbuttoned business shirt and pants, but instead of his normal put-together exterior, there was blood on his now-wrinkled shirt and when I looked up at his face, his mouth was completely swollen and bloody.
 

I sucked in a gasp of air at his disheveled appearance. The only thought I had was that he and Kace had to have gotten into it because I spoke to Kace about an hour ago about driving me back to the French Quarter. He wasn’t happy and stormed off without muttering a word.
 

The urge to run to Jett and see if he was okay was overpowering, but I didn’t. Instead, I stood in place and waited for him to make the first move. My heart pounded through my chest as he slowly closed the door and walked toward me. At that moment, seeing the usually strong and stoic man look run down and almost desperate, broke my stubborn wall I was holding up. Why was I even thinking about walking away from this man? Why did I even question him in the first place? Maybe because I was desperate for him to confess any kind of feeling he had for me; I wanted to hear that he actually cared about me. The little reassurance of him admitting to any kind of need for me would have settled my need to run, my need to go see Rex, but instead, he just kept pushing me away and I didn’t know why.
 

Jett placed the box in his hand on my bed and stood a few feet away from me. He looked down at my shabby clothes and winced at my appearance. I didn’t blame him, I looked like a beast of a zombie.
 

He exhaled as he ran a hand through his untamed hair and then made eye contact with me as his hand slid from his hair to the back of his neck. “Goldie…” his voice was raspy as he spoke, “I uh, I don’t want you to leave, at all.”

His words caught me off-guard…completely. In the back of my mind where the inner teenage girl lived, who fancied unicorns and believed in romance, I wished that when he showed up he was going to sweep me off my feet and carry me into the sunset, but I knew that was far from reality. This was Jett Colby, the man that showed no fear, no emotions, and no need for anyone but himself. So you could imagine the way his confession affected me.
 

“Why?” I said feebly, not able to look him in his deep blue eyes because I knew, if I did, I would crumple into his arms.
 

“I want you here. You belong here and I don’t want to see you anywhere else or hear about you in anyone else’s bed. You are meant to be a Jett Girl.”

“But why did you pick me?” I asked once again, just dying for any kind of reason.

Jett exhaled again and sat on my bed as he rubbed his eyes. His toned abdomen muscles bunched together as he tried to figure out what to say. Even in his most disheveled state, he was still the most gorgeous man I had ever seen. From the scruff on his face, to the slight tan to his skin and the way his dark blonde hair fell to the side, he was perfection. He was the one man that made my heart stop when he walked in the room, the one man that I could see losing myself in.
 

“I wasn’t lying when I told you originally the reason I picked you. The moment I saw you next to my mom’s grave, I knew she brought us together…that there was a reason why you and I were there at the same time. I didn’t learn about Rex’s infatuation with you until later. I mean, I knew that he was paying you for sex, but I thought that’s all it was. I didn’t know he actually had some sort of feelings for you. There’s a lot that’s happened between Rex and I that I am sure he told you half-truths about, but I am not going to get into that because it’s in the past now. But, I want you to know, he has nothing to do with the reason why I asked you to come here…the reason I asked you to share your life and body with me.”

He looked up at me with such soulful eyes that it was hard to turn away; it was hard for me to be mad at him. I hated myself for not being able to put up much of a fight, even though I knew he would never give me what I wanted.
 

“I want you to stay, little one.” His term of endearment almost brought me to my knees. “I need you to stay,” he said lightly, as he looked down at his hands. “I know I can’t give you everything you want, everything you need and deserve, but what I can offer you is protection, a future and security. It’s not much, but it’s all I have for now.”