Because of Mr. Terupt (11 page)

    
This is when I’ll need you most
.

A
ct 9, Scene 3

Action
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Mr. Terupt’s door stood slightly ajar, so I slowly pushed it open and stepped into his room. He wasn’t alone, but he didn’t have a roommate. He had a visitor: Alexia.

I stopped. Danielle and Anna saw her, too. We all stopped. Alexia was by Mr. Terupt’s bed, her back to us. She didn’t know we were there. I could hear her talking to him.

“Like, I’ve been trying to be nice, Teach. I’ve been quiet. I don’t know, like, what else to do. I haven’t been mean. You’d be happy about that, Teach. I’ve been doing it your way. But, like, I still need your help. I need you to come back. Everyone needs you back.”

I stood right beside Alexia now, but she remained unaware. She buried her face in Mr. Terupt’s bed and sobbed. I looked at my teacher. He rested peacefully in his white bedsheets amid tubes going in and out of his body, and screens with green numbers and lines on them, and beeping noises. I felt him telling me what to do.

I reached out and placed my hand on Alexia’s back.

She lifted her head and looked at me through her tear-filled eyes. I started crying then, too. Alexia stood up and we hugged. A big hug.

“I’m so sorry,” she said.

I felt her squeeze me tight. “Me too,” I said.

“I’ve never been to California,” she blubbered. “My mom threw my dad out of the house last year. He never got sick.”

Alexia sobbed into my shoulder. I squeezed her tight now. Through choked tears I said, “My dad’s not around, either. He’s still in California with his girlfriend.”

We held the hug. Not with lazy arms, but strong arms. We squeezed all our sorries out in that hug. When we let go, Alexia hugged Danielle and Anna just the same. Tears filled all our eyes now, even my mom’s and Terri’s.

We sat in chairs next to Mr. Terupt’s bed. We sat on both sides and said nothing. I placed my book on the stand next to his bed. Anna put her plant by the window, and Danielle tacked her sketch to a wall. We thought our own thoughts and stared at our teacher, who lay motionless with his eyes closed. Yet somehow I felt better. The power of Mr. Terupt, even in his coma, made something huge transpire. I felt light,
like I could float. The past had been buried and we were ready to move forward.

When it came time to leave, I touched Mr. Terupt’s hand and whispered, “Thank you.” Then I walked out with my three friends.

T
here was no way I could like, stay away forever—especially after hearing Luke say he’d been to the hospital.

I didn’t have a dad to take me, and my mom was waiting tables from noon to closing time every day of the week now. That made it easy for me ’cause there wasn’t anyone at home to say “Where do you think you’re going?” or “You aren’t going anywhere,” but I was still scared.

I made my mind up and like, rode my bike there one day after school. I knew what room he was in ’cause I heard Luke say it. When I got there, I went straight to the elevator and up to his floor.

“Can I help you, honey?” one of the nurses asked as I hurried down the hall.

I didn’t look at her. I just shook my head and kept going until I found the room. I walked in.

My hands flew to my mouth. I knew Teach couldn’t move, but like, I hadn’t expected him to be hooked up to so many tubes. I stood frozen for a long time. Slowly I found the courage to tiptoe closer to his bed.

“Hi, Teach,” I said. “It’s Lexie.” Already I fought back tears. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have been mean to you. I wanted to hate you for saying those things to me, but you were right, Teach.”

I knelt next to his bed and pulled his blanket in my fists. Then the big tears came. Raindrop tears. They poured from me. I couldn’t help it. I cried like I used to when Mom and Dad would fight. I sobbed for a few minutes before I wiped my face on his covers. Teach just looked like he was sleeping. Was he really going to die?

“Like, I’m doing better now, Teach. I’m not being mean. You’d be happy.”

I squeezed his blanket in my fists again and clenched my jaw to fight back more raindrop tears.

“Teach, like, there’s something else I need to tell ya. I’m not sure but I think I saw Peter leaving here. Like, he’s the one who threw the snowball, Teach. I know he didn’t mean it. He didn’t want this to happen. He loves you. All of us do.” I dabbed my eyes with his blanket. I cried more now, but I kept talking to him. “Peter hasn’t, like, said anything in school. He hasn’t talked to anyone. Not a word. But no one’s trying to talk to him, either. He did throw the snowball, even if he didn’t mean for it to hit you. So it’s still his fault.” I felt
bad for Peter. Everything was such a mess, and I had so many mixed-up feelings.

I had my face in his blankets when I felt the tap on my shoulder. I looked up and Jessica was there, and so were Danielle and Anna. I hugged them. I told them I was sorry. And then it was over. All of a sudden I had three friends. Like, Teach helped me, even in his coma. I missed him so much. He had to wake up. I had never felt so happy and sad at the same time before.

C
harlie is Danielle’s twenty-seven-year-old single brother. He’s the one who dropped Danielle off at my house, and he’s the one who arrived to pick her up after our hospital trip. He didn’t get out of his red truck and come to our door because he didn’t need to—Danielle was ready. Next time I’ll keep her busy so he has to ring our doorbell.

“Thanks for taking me tonight, ma’am,” Danielle said as we stood on the porch.

“You’re welcome over anytime, Danielle,” Mom said. “I’d love it if we could draw together.” Danielle smiled at that idea.

“See you tomorrow,” I said. We hugged.

“Thanks,” she whispered.

We watched her walk out to the farm truck with the
dented door. I held my breath with hope for the entire long, long minute. Then I was rewarded. Charlie turned his head and looked back. I saw his smile and friendly wave, a wave that Mom gladly returned. I walked to my bedroom and sat on my bed, suddenly exhausted. Mom sat next to me.

“Quite an afternoon, huh?” she said.

“Yes,” I said. “Poor Alexia. No dad for her, either.”

“Everybody’s got a story, Anna.”

I lay down and rested my head on my pillow. Mom lay down next to me. “Is Mr. Terupt going to be okay?” I asked.

“I don’t know, honey,” Mom said. “I sure hope so.” She wrapped her arm around me and I started to cry.

“Is it my fault?” I asked.

Mom sat up. “Is what your fault?”

“Mr. Terupt lying in that bed.”

“Anna, how could it possibly be your fault?” Mom sounded shocked.

“Because I’m one of the kids who got Peter mad enough to throw that snowball.”

“Anna, you listen to me.” She sounded almost mad now. “Look at me.” Her eyes narrowed on mine. “You didn’t throw that snowball, nor did you force Peter to throw it. I’m not sure whose fault it is that this happened, or if it even matters, but I do know it’s not yours. Do you understand me?”

“I just want him to be okay.”

“I know, honey. Me too.”

I never thought I’d have the courage to ask my mom the next thing that came out of my mouth, but my feelings just poured out after seeing Mr. Terupt like that. “Do you ever blame me for what happened to you all those years ago?”

“Blame you?”

“Is it my fault that you were ostracized?”

“Anna, honey, please tell me you’re not being serious.”

I didn’t say anything.

“My goodness.” Mom placed her hands on my cheeks and spoke softly. “Anna, I consider myself lucky to have you. I would endure all that pain again in an instant so that I could have you. I’ve never blamed you, nor will I. You’re everything to me.” A tear fell from Mom’s face and landed on mine. “I’ve always been afraid that you’d end up hating me for bringing you into this situation,” Mom said.

“You’re the best mom ever,” I said. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.” Mom bent forward and we hugged. Then she kissed me on the cheek and lay back down next to me. I wanted to ask her about Charlie, but I was wiped out, so I closed my eyes.

I
’m glad I went to see Mr. Terupt. It wasn’t easy, but it would have been a lot harder alone. I don’t know how Lexie did it. But I’m glad she was there, because now we’re friends again. I don’t think she’ll be mean anymore. I think Mr. Terupt helped her. Right from his coma, he helped the four of us make wrongs right.

I didn’t know about Jessica’s father. She seemed so perfect—I thought her family was, too. I used to think Lexie was so lucky as well. Maybe I’m the lucky one, even with this extra meat on my bones. Maybe we’re all lucky for having Mr. Terupt.

I’ve been trying to figure out why the accident happened. Every night I pray and ask for help making sense of the tragedy.

Mr. Terupt helped Lexie and us, and he helped me make it over to Anna’s house. I want to go again. Her mom’s very nice. And, when he picked me up, I noticed that Charlie seemed to like looking at her. I decided not to say anything, though—not to Charlie, or about wanting to go over to Anna’s again. Not yet.

At home, Mom and Grandma asked me how my visit went as soon as I walked into the kitchen. “Did that woman do or say anything crazy?” Grandma wanted to know.

“Was she okay?” Mom asked gently.

“She seemed fine,” Charlie said. He came to my rescue and then walked out of the room.

“She was friendly. And I liked her,” I said. “Can we just pray together for Mr. Terupt? It’s late and I’m tired.”

“Sure, sweetie,” Mom said. I could tell that Grandma didn’t like this one bit, but she went along with it.

In school the next day, Jeffrey asked a lot of questions about our visit. He had asked Luke questions, too.

“How many tubes did they have hooked up to him? What was the name of the stuff they were putting into him? Were they giving him blood? What was his heart rate?”

“Jeffrey, stop,” I said. “We don’t know the answers and your questions are upsetting me.”

“Sorry,” he said.

“You should just go yourself.”

I saw him exchange a look with Jessica. I got the feeling that there was something I didn’t know.

“Sorry,” he said again. Then he walked away.

Dear God
,

It’s Danielle. Things down here are getting harder. I’m doing my best, but it’s not that easy. Thanks for returning Alexia, a brand-new Lexie. I’m very grateful for that, but I’m about to ask for more
.

It’s Mr. Terupt. He really needs you. He looked terrible when I saw him. There are so many of us down here that want him back so badly. He’s the best teacher any of us have ever had, and I just know he’s got lots of good left to do here. Comfort him if he hurts, and please heal him
.

There’s Jeffrey, too. I saw the look he gave Jessica. Something is up with him. Please help him. And I’d like to pray for Jessica and Lexie and Anna—all three of them without dads. That’s just another reason why we need Mr. Terupt back
.

And last of all, I want to pray for me. I’d like to go over to Anna’s house again. Maybe you can help me with that? I’ve also been thinking a lot about who’s to blame for Mr. Terupt’s accident. I thought it was Peter, because he threw the snowball. But after seeing Mr. Terupt, I’m wondering if it was me. I’m the one who suggested going outside, and I helped push Peter down. So I don’t think I’m completely innocent. Please forgive me. Amen
.

I
didn’t think it would be as difficult going to see Mr. Terupt the second time. I knew what to expect. I was wrong.

Seeing Mr. Terupt in that bed again wasn’t any easier. I thought he would look better. I thought he was improving. But he looked the same. Still just lying there in his bed. Surrounded by the same beeps and tubes and monitors and noises from the hall. It was all just the same.

I felt the lump in my throat growing. Mom’s hand touched my shoulder. She saw it happening, too. I stood at the side of my teacher’s bed in a state of disbelief, feeling helpless.

Then the doctor walked in. At least I figured he was the doctor. He had salt-and-pepper hair, a white coat, and a smart face. He nodded to us and then moved toward Mr.
Terupt. He checked some numbers and fluids, pulled back Mr. Terupt’s eyelids to look at his pupils with his penlight, and then started to leave.

“Wait,” I said. “Wait.”

He stopped and turned around.

“Are you Mr. Terupt’s doctor?” I asked.

“Yes. I’m Dr. Wilkins. One of the physicians.”

“Is Mr. Terupt going to get better?”

I saw him take a big breath. He looked at my mother first, then me. “I don’t know, son.”

“What’s wrong with him? He’s in a coma, but what’s wrong with him?”

Dr. Wilkins pulled some chairs over for all of us to sit in. He sat across from me.

“Mr. Terupt did a lot of wrestling while growing up, and even into college,” he started to explain. “It turns out he had to give it up because he suffered multiple concussions along the way. These concussions have weakened his brain in certain regions. The snowball that was thrown hit one of these weaker areas—the
temporal
[dollar word] region, to be exact—and it cracked his skull.” Dr. Wilkins looked very sorry as he said this. I don’t know if he expected questions, but I had them.

“Does that mean Mr. Terupt wouldn’t be in a coma if he hadn’t suffered the multiple concussions?” I asked.

“I can’t say for sure, but probably not.”

“What do you do now? Just wait?”

Dr. Wilkins took another big breath. I got the sense there was more to the equation. More bad news, or news he was hoping not to share. He glanced at my mother, who nodded,
giving him the okay to explain. I didn’t want a sugarcoated report. I wanted the facts, and my mom knew that.

“Mr. Terupt has some bleeding going on behind this crack, and blood is
collecting
[dollar word] in his brain. We hoped it would stop, but it hasn’t. He’ll need to undergo brain surgery so that we can clamp the bleeding vessels.”