Beautifully Broken (The Broken Series Book 2) (41 page)

“I’ll
go look,” Cenia offered softly. She walked out of the library, leaving me alone
with Kadyn.

My
eyes met Kadyn’s.

His
jaw clenched. Apparently, he didn’t like the message. “Who’s been acting
possessive? It’s someone you know, someone who knows your past.”

“No
one. I swear it. The only people I hang out with are the ones standing inside
my kitchen. I haven’t gotten to know any of the guys at school. I’ve really only
become friends with one person in the program… a girl.”

Cenia
walked back into the library. Her eyes met Kadyn’s. “The flowers are fine.
Where’s the packaging they came in?”

My
eyebrows furrowed. “Down in the garage, in the recycling. Seriously, you two
are reading way too much into this. No one is going to bug something I would
throw away.”

“No,
but they might put a tracking device in it so they could find out where you
live,” Kadyn responded tightly. He strode out of the library.

I
reached for the desk as the room began to sway. I shook my head, waited for the
room to steady, then walked back into the kitchen to wait for Kadyn to finish
rifling through my recycling.

He
returned within minutes with a stoic look on his face. “The box and tissue are
clean.” He washed his hands in the sink.

I
exhaled loudly. “Okay, then. Can we eat now? The food is getting cold.”

In
three long strides, Kadyn was standing in front of me. Heat rolled off his body
in waves.

My
heart began to race as I resisted the urge to back away from him.

Kadyn
glowered at me. “Just as soon as you promise to throw any unsolicited packages,
unmarked letters, or unsigned flowers away… preferably in a garbage can located
some distance from this house.”

There
was no way I was arguing with Kadyn when he was towering over me with a
menacing look on his face. “Fine,” I squeaked. “Now let’s eat.”

Cenia
shot me an apologetic look as Kadyn walked away. We each grabbed a plate and loaded
it up with pasta. Cenia joined Kadyn, Roger, Mason, and Gabi in the family
room. I joined the rest of the gang in the formal dining room so I could put some
distance between Kadyn and me.

Kadyn
was the last person to leave. I fetched his coat from the library and handed it
to him as I walked him to the door.

He
lifted my chin with his finger as he forced me to look up at him. “Don’t be
mad, Kri. I just want to make sure you’re safe. You need to start thinking more
critically about the things that are going on around you.”

“I
know,” I whispered. “But I don’t want to live in fear all the time. I don’t
want to be negative, distrustful, or suspicious of every person I meet.”

Kadyn
sighed as he released my chin. “Just try, Kri. Try not to give everyone and
everything the benefit of the doubt.”

“Okay,”
I relented. “I appreciate the fact that you still care, Kadyn.”

Kadyn
gave me a curious look. “I never stopped.” He turned and opened the storm door.
“I’ll be standing here until I hear the deadbolt.”

I
held back on the eye roll as I pasted a grateful smile on my face. “Fine.” I
closed the door between us and purposely delayed locking the door.

“Kri,”
he growled from the other side. Suddenly, I heard his key push through the lock.
The bolt slid into place. I had totally forgotten he had the key.

I
smiled. It was impossible to stay mad at the guy. “Thanks, Kadyn,” I called
through the door. “Have a good night.”

The
girls had helped me clean the kitchen earlier, so I turned the lights off and walked
upstairs. I had indulged in three glasses of wine, so I thought it best to
forego the sleeping pill. I scrubbed my face, brushed my teeth, and tumbled into
bed.

The
wine quickly drew me to sleep, but it didn’t hold me for long. Two hours later,
I woke in a cold sweat. In my dream, some nameless, faceless person followed me
to my car. The more I quickened my pace, the more he quickened his pace. I was
afraid to turn around and terrified he’d reach me before I got to my car. I
shook miserably as I considered the options: Tom, Justin, a terrorist… the
missing partner from Michael’s firm. Each alternative was worse than the last.

I
was still shaking when I stumbled into the bathroom for a sleeping pill. I
returned to the bed and hugged the pillow that still smelled faintly of cedar
and cloves. The pill worked quickly. I didn’t wake again until seven a.m. I sat
up in bed and looked around my room thoroughly confused. I could have sworn the
smell of cloves had grown stronger. Still exhausted, I flopped down on the
pillows and drifted back to sleep.

*
* * * * *

The
next few weeks were a bit chaotic. I completed the training required to become
a certified mediator, so most of my mornings were now spent squirreled away in
the library, furiously pouring through textbooks and writing midterm papers. I
was still attending class every afternoon and Thursday evenings. I continued to
struggle with nightmares, and there were still days when I thought I could
smell Michael’s cologne. I loved the smell, but the random bursts of fragrance
were driving me nuts.

One
day I finally broke down and conducted a search for the source of the smell. I
couldn’t identify it on the towels or on any of the other sheets that I pulled
out of the linen closet. It wasn’t in the closet where my clothes now hung. I
could smell it faintly on the duvet that covered the down comforter in my room,
but not on any of the other beds in the house. I wondered if it was some masculine
brand of laundry soap or a special linen spray. But then I began smelling the
fragrance in the library and the sun room. There were a lot of things in the
townhouse that reminded me of Michael’s home in Paris, so I wondered if the
smell of cedar and cloves was some sort of repressed memory or a coping
mechanism that made me feel closer to Michael.

I
pursued a number of activities that I thought might help ensure my sanity. I began
playing with the plants in the sun room, dividing herbs, cleaning leaves, and
repotting some of the flowers. That took all of three days, so I bought a yoga
mat and joined Marie for an early morning yoga class. I wondered how logical it
was to drag myself out of bed at five-thirty a.m. for a six a.m. yoga class, especially
when I crawled back into bed the minute I returned home. I didn’t have to be at
school until three o’clock or later, and I was having so much trouble sleeping that
I couldn’t afford to give up the early morning hours of sleep, which is where I
seemed to fare best.

Spring
Break ushered in warmer weather and a much needed reprieve from my studies. I
suddenly found I had nothing to do. I began taking my morning coffee out to a
bench overlooking the river, but I seldom saw the Potomac when I looked out
over the water. Instead, I saw the Tuileries Garden, the Musée d'Orsay, and the
Seine. I would think about Michael an ocean away and wonder if he was sitting looking
out over the river near his house.

Early
one Saturday morning, I grew disgusted with myself for sitting on the bench
when it left me wallowing in so much pain. That was the day I decided to drag
my yoga mat outside. People were biking and riding the trail and playing ball
all along the river. I didn’t think it would be terribly out of place to do yoga
out there in the crisp morning air. So, that’s what I did.

I
was in the warrior two pose when I heard Shae’s voice call out behind me. “Hey,
Kri! I didn’t know you lived around here.”

I
stumbled out of my pose. Shae was standing on the trail, straddling her bike.
She swung her leg over the seat and pushed the bike toward me. We met halfway, near
a bench.

I
pointed toward my house. “I live in that townhouse over there. Do you live
around here?”

Shae
shook her head. “My apartment is on Washington Street. I ride my bike on this
trail when the weather is nice, but doing yoga by the river looks like an even
better idea.”

I
grinned. “You should join me some time. I feel kind of silly out here doing this
all by myself.”

Shae
took a long pull from her water bottle. She wiped her lips with the back of her
sleeve. “Have you received your midterm grades yet?”

I
nodded. “All A’s, thankfully, although I’m not sure how I managed to accomplish
that in the research methodologies class.”

Shae
smiled. “Me too. You know, it’s funny I ran into you this morning. I was
planning to call you this afternoon. Have you found a job yet?”

I
shook my head as we both settled onto the bench. “No, but I haven’t been trying
very hard. School has been so consuming.”

Shae
took another drink from her water bottle. She gazed out over the water before turning
toward me. “I started working for an NGO called Seeds for Peace two weeks ago. They’re
based out of DC. They work to develop conflict resolution skills among young
kids and university students in conflict ridden countries.”

I
propped my feet on the bench and tucked my knees under my chin as I hugged my
legs. “Wow. That sounds amazing. Do you like it?”

“I
haven’t gone on any peace-building missions yet, but yes. The people who work
there are a lot of fun to be around. Some of the staff develop sports programs
that bring kids from conflicting neighborhoods together. It’s just like Dr.
Rubenstein said, the positive exposure helps build trust and tear down enemy
images that are passed down from older generations. The sports program helps these
kids see they aren’t all that different from one another. Seeds for Peace is
managing a number of these projects in Africa and in the Middle East,” she
explained. Her admiration for the program was clear and certainly
understandable.

“That
sounds so exciting. Is that what you were hired to do?” I asked as my head
popped up from my knees.

She
shook her head. “No, as fun as that sounds, I’m working on the school angle. I’ve
been hired to go into universities to train students how to resolve conflict
without violence. The end goal is to empower a subset of university students to
help resolve conflict among their classmates and to start conflict resolution
programs in high schools and middle schools within their communities. It’s
basically a train the trainer program.”

I
grabbed Shae’s hand and squeezed it gently. “Shae, that’s perfect. You’ll be
great at that.”

Shae
tilted her head as she silently studied me. “They want to hire another
instructor for the university program. They asked me to scout out potential
candidates at ICAR. You and I work so well together at school, I was hoping you
would consider applying for the job.”

My
eyes widened in surprise. “Do you think they would hire me?”

Shae
nodded. “I’m sure they’d hire you if I put in a good word, especially with
those grades, Kri. E-mail me your resume, and I’ll see what I can do.”

I
couldn’t hide my excitement. I jumped to my feet and immediately began pacing
in front of the bench. “That would be awesome, Shae. I really enjoy working
with you. The program sounds fantastic. How soon can I start?”

Shae’s
smile wavered, just a little, as she patted the seat next to her.

I
studied her as I sat back down.

She
took a deep breath. “There are two negative aspects of the job that you should consider
before applying, Kri. First, they pay peanuts. We’re talking barely above the
poverty level. Second, it’s going to require some travel, so you’ll have to
clear that with your professors when those trips come up. I think they’ll be
supportive since you would be gaining valuable field experience that will
strengthen your education and increase exposure for the ICAR program.”

I
looked out over the river and quietly considered the advantages and disadvantages
surrounding the job. Finally, my eyes returned to Shae. “I think this kind of
work would be extremely rewarding. I’m not sure how long I can afford to live
on peanuts with the cost of living here, but I could swing it for a year or
two. I’ll e-mail my professors to see what kind of flexibility they can offer
with my studies when we have to travel.”

Shae’s
eyes sparked with excitement. “Good. We only travel for two to three weeks at a
time. You might want to let them know we have a trip scheduled to Ukraine in
June.”

“Ukraine,”
I murmured, thoroughly fascinated, “as in the former Soviet Union?”

Shae
nodded. “Yes. We’re supposed to take a Russian immersion course in May.”

My
eyes widened. “Russian? They’d pay me to learn Russian?”

Shae
laughed. “If you can call it pay!”

I
smiled as I felt another piece of my life slide slowly back into place.

Shae
nudged her shoulder against mine. “So, Kri… any idea who that gorgeous man is
with the long dark hair? He keeps looking over here like he’s some sort of dark
angel. He was watching you do yoga when I first rode up.”

I
immediately began looking around. “Where?” I asked curiously. I hadn’t noticed any
men with long dark hair.

“Don’t
be obvious when you look, but he’s sitting on the bench by the trees to your far
right,” she noted softly.