Jena’s heart pounded harder with every step he took in her direction. Her hands trembled and she was holding her breath. She made a conscious effort to exhale as she folded her hands tightly in front of her. Seeing him brought back all the memories she buried…or thought she did. She never grieved the end of their relationship. She knew that. The irony was not lost on her. She would be grieving two deaths on this visit. There was no way around it.
The memories of happier times flooded her mind. They
had
been happy until…
She forced herself to replace those memories with the way his back looked as he walked away from her, how he never explained why he stopped loving her, the humiliation, the dark lonely nights, her heart breaking into a million pieces, and hiding the tears from her family. Yes, she needed to remember
those
things.
He knelt down and hugged their eight year-old niece. “Hey, kiddo, you know your mom’s right here?” He placed a hand over his heart. “She will always be with us.”
“Oh, don’t worry, Uncle Chase, she’ll be back.” Andrea took off skipping down the church aisle.
Her niece’s statement worried Jena. Andrea was taking the death of her mother with an ease that bordered denial. By the look on Chase’s face he was thinking the same thing, but he managed a small smile in her direction.
Chase embraced her and spoke softly in her ear, “I don’t know what to say. I’m sorry sounds lame.”
Jena, uncomfortable with the contact, pulled away first. “It’s okay, Chase. There really is nothing to say.” She focused her attention on Andrea, avoiding his gaze. She would not allow herself to have any expectations where he was involved. That ship sailed.
Maybe if she got the niceties over with he would leave. She gathered her courage, met his eyes, and broke the silence. “Thank you for being here. No one understands better than you what I’m going through.”
He nodded, but stayed put.
Jena’s eyes wandered to the front of the church, resting on the picture of her sister. A candle flickered beside it, a candle that would soon be snuffed out like the life of her sister. Jena swallowed hard and took a deep breath. She didn’t want to cry again, but how could she not?
She couldn’t believe she was gone; couldn’t wrap her mind around the fact she would never see her again, hear her voice, or her laughter. Picking up the phone and calling her was no longer an option. How could this have happened? A boating accident with a boyfriend Jena never met. None of it seemed real.
Her niece continued to skip up and down the aisle with seemingly not a care in the world. Did she accept this because this was normal to her? Her father, Dr. Collin Reiss, had died in a car accident when Andrea was three. She barely remembered him. Chase had stepped into his brother’s shoes and been the father figure to Andrea.
“Jena?”
His voice brought her back to the present. “I’m sorry. I guess we should be going.” An overwhelming sadness washed over her. Leaving this church, leaving the picture of her sister behind meant Jasmine’s life was over. How could she turn her back and walk away? Closing her eyes she took another deep breath; an attempt to hold back the sobs that were forming.
Chase moved closer and fixed his eyes on hers. He caressed her cheek softly with the back of his hand. Jena stepped back immediately.
“What?” he spoke softly.
She sniffed and pulled a tissue from her purse. “We should be getting back to the house. I need to be there to greet everyone…” her voice trailed off.
“You’re not alone in this.”
“I know. I have Andrea…and Mrs. R.” She couldn’t look him in the eyes. His eyes had always been her undoing. He could reach her soul with only one look.
“Let me help. She was my sister-in-law. Andrea’s my niece.”
“Of course,” she sniffed as she dabbed her eyes. What was she thinking? He was offering to be there for her? His concern was for Andrea. She understood.
Andrea came bounding up to her. “Aunt Jen, can we go now?”
Her niece appeared totally unaffected while she could hardly contain the panic that was growing stronger by the second. At thirty-one, she had lost her parents, her brother-in-law, and now her sister…and gained full time responsibility of an eight year-old child. And she was face to face with the only man she ever loved; the man that turned her away.
“Aunt Jen?” Andrea whined.
“I’ll follow you,” Chase promised.
Jena’s nod was her only reply. She didn’t dare open her mouth. If she did, she would scream
.
She was smothering under all the demands and expectations. Jena concentrated on suppressing the panic. She was going to raise Jasmine’s daughter just as Jasmine had raised her. She was a Shea, and they lived up to their responsibilities.
She took Andrea’s hand and led her to the car. Her head was starting to pound. The sooner she could get through this, the sooner she could take Andrea back to Ohio and resume her life.
With Andrea nodding off in the backseat, the ride to her sister’s house gave her plenty of time to think. Her memories became a movie in her mind, drifting to the night her parents died, her sister taking charge, raising her, sacrificing for her… Jasmine put her through law school. When she met Collin on vacation and moved to Florida Jena supported the decision. Yes, the move was out of character for Jasmine, but Jena didn’t question her. She deserved happiness and Collin was a great guy. Jena smiled as she thought of him. Then she had met Chase. Jena sighed. No happy ending there.
Pulling in the driveway, Jena nudged Andrea. “Wake up, honey, we’re here.”
Andrea yawned and climbed out of the car, holding her stuffed teddy bear closely. Jena followed her to the back of the house and into the kitchen. Food trays, casserole dishes, and desserts covered every available space. Mrs. Reynolds, the housekeeper, was busily removing tin foil and plastic wrap as Andrea inspected the cookies.
“Can I help with anything, Mrs. R.?” Jena asked hopefully. Maybe she could hide out in the kitchen.
“I have everything ready. We only need to move it to the tables. Are you all right, dear?”
“I’m holding up, thanks.” Exhaling deeply she tossed her purse on the counter. “And thank you for doing all of this. I don’t know how I’d cope without you.”
She gave Jena a quick hug. “We all have our way of dealing with grief, and this is mine. Andrea, make yourself a plate, dear. My great-niece is in the living room waiting for you.”
“Noel’s here?” Andrea’s excitement was evident, but she remembered her manners. “May I go, Aunt Jen?”
“Sure, go on. Make sure you eat something.”
Andrea was through the door before Jena turned her attention back to Mrs. R. “You know, she’s as cool as a cucumber and I’m falling apart. I’m supposed to be taking care of her.”
“None of that now. You’re doing fine. That girl is lucky to have you and Chase.”
With the mention of his name, Jena flinched. Had the housekeeper noticed?
“By the way, where is Chase?” Mrs. R. questioned with hands on hips.
“I don’t know. He said he was following us.” She cleared her throat. The heat of embarrassment crept up her neck and into her face. Hoping to gain composure, she turned her back and filled a glass with water.
“I’m sure you’ll feel better, dear, once he gets here.” Mrs. R. walked over to the kitchen window and peered out. Jena heard her say under her breath, “Where is that boy? He needs to be here for you.”
Jena’s temper rose as she became defensive. She took a deep breath, considering her words before speaking. Mrs. R. was more than a housekeeper. She was family to Andrea and Jasmine, and Jena didn’t want to hurt her feelings. “Mrs. R., Chase is Andrea’s uncle and is welcome to be here for her. He is nothing to me. I don’t know why you would think otherwise.”
Jena grabbed two covered dishes before she bolted for the living room. Why must everyone assume she needed Chase Reiss? She hadn’t needed him for ten years and she sure as hell wasn’t going to start now.
Chapter Three
Chase took the scenic route to Jasmine’s house in an attempt to gather some self-control. He wanted to kiss away the tears, hold her in his arms and tell her how wrong he had been. He was desperate to explain why he walked away all those years ago. When he saw her in the church he had to force himself to keep quiet about the past. This wasn’t the time. Oh, she was polite, but he knew she wished he would disappear.
Chase turned the radio on in an attempt to distract himself from his thoughts. Great, just what he needed to hear, a sappy love song. Shutting the radio off in disgust, he let his thoughts drift again. He would wait, but he would make her understand why he ended their relationship. He wanted a second chance and he wouldn’t stop until he got just that.
He rolled to a stop in front of the house and shut the motor off, watching people enter through the front door. He knew his presence wouldn’t be appreciated, but this is where he needed to be. “Well, no putting it off, Dude,” he said aloud, opening the truck door with a confidence he wasn’t feeling. He decided to use the back entrance, maybe talk to the housekeeper first.
“Well, now, my kitchen is Grand Central Station today,” Mrs. R. complained. “The food is in there,” she pointed toward the living room.
“Hey, calm down. I always come in through the kitchen.” With the look Mrs. R. gave him he quickly backtracked, holding his hands up in surrender. “Okay, okay…sorry.”
“Anyway, it’s about time you got here. Where have you been?” she demanded.
Attempting a convincing fib, he grabbed a cookie. “I had to stop for gas.”
“Chase, I’m not an idiot. Any fool can see you’re still in love with that girl.”
“Excuse me?”
“Chase Reiss, I have known you going on a year now, have I not?”
He inwardly cringed while Mrs. R. went into lecture mode. The door was a few feet away. He could make a run for it. No, she would follow him and make his life hell. He decided on self-preservation. “Yes, ma’am, you have.”
“Jasmine and I have had many a conversation over you two.”
Here it comes, he thought. He chose silence.
“She was hoping this vacation of Jena’s would be a reunion of the romantic kind.”
“That was a long time ago.”
“Chase, don’t insult my intelligence.”
Uh-oh. The last thing he wanted was Mrs. R.’s anger directed at him. “I’m not. She doesn’t share the admiration.”
“Oh, well, look at you. The big rock star,” she quipped.
“That’s part of the problem,” he replied honestly.
Leaning against the kitchen counter, arms folded in front of her, Mrs. R. replied, “If you don’t try to make this right you will regret it for the rest of your life.”
“I already have plenty of regrets.”
“So, why add this to the file?” she challenged.
“Now is not the time,” he reasoned.
“I’ve heard of giving people their space, but ten years is a bit much, don’t you think?”
He shook his head slowly and grinned. Mrs. R. was direct and he usually liked that about her. “Thanks for the advice.”
“Well, it’s free, so do what you want with it.” She whipped a dishtowel over her shoulder and filled the sink with water.
He was dismissed. Chase placed his hand on the swinging door that separated him from Jena and paused. Jasmine just died. Complicating her life further would be selfish, right? He couldn’t do that.
Pushing through the door he found the room full of people. He immediately spotted Jena talking with a guy who looked a little too interested in her. His muscles tensed, blood pounded in his ears.
He clenched his hands into fists, suddenly realizing he was the selfish type. Jena was his and he would make her see that…starting now.
****
Jena attempted a smile as she forced herself to concentrate on the words coming from a boring surgeon that had her cornered. He was a little too touchy-feely with his conversation and certainly had no self-esteem issues as he bragged on about his attributes. She looked for an escape. She gazed toward the kitchen door as Chase’s eyes locked on hers. Her heart pounded so loudly she imagined everyone in the room could hear it. Allowing herself to get lost in those eyes would be a huge mistake. Choosing her pride, she turned her attention back to the arrogant Dr. Neanderthal.
Chase’s intoxicating scent was forever burned in her brain. She knew he was beside her before turning to see him. Jena took a deep, meant-to-be calming breath…a mistake…forced a smile, and went on with the introduction. “Dr. Netherington, this is Collin’s brother, Chase Reiss. Chase, Dr. Netherington. He was on staff with Collin.”
The words were barely out of her mouth when Dr. Neanderthal turned into an excited child with hero worship. “
The
Chase Reiss? The rock singer? I’m a huge fan. Can I have an autograph? The nurses will go crazy!”
Chase exchanged a handshake with the doctor, but Jena saw something different in his demeanor. The flash in his eyes confirmed he was angry about something. Jena bit down on her lower lip.
Watching the exchange in amazement, she heard Chase answer, “Sure, I’ll sign something before you leave.”
Rock Singer? Chase?
Jasmine mentioned a band…must be a local thing.
Gratefully dismissing herself with an “I’ll let you two talk”, Jena moved to the food table. Grabbing a plate, she went through the motions of filling it.
Chase came up behind her. “Smooth, Jena, really smooth.”
Startled, she replied, “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“Nice attempt to brush me off; however, don’t forget I’m used to dealing with that.”
“I don’t want to seem like I’m using the same excuse, but really, I don’t have any idea what you’re talking about.”
“The rock thing…” She could tell he was trying to control his impatience with a deep breath.
“Rock thing?” Cryptic language wasn’t her forte. She could come up with nothing but a blank stare.
“I’m in a band,” he explained.
Taking a bite of celery and thinking back, “I remember Jasmine did mention something about that.” Truth was she always tuned out when Chase was mentioned in conversation….coping mechanism.