Beautiful Bandit (Lone Star Legends) (28 page)

He chuckled. “Well, not a thousand times, but….”

She propped her fists on her curvy hips. “Very funny. But, rest assured, this is no joke: if Esther didn’t need me, I’d ride with you, no matter what you said. No doubt about it.”

Josh believed every word, and if his grandmother hadn’t needed her, he wouldn’t have fought her on it. “I won’t be gone all that long.”

Her eyes glittered like the stars in the sky as she looked up at him. “How long?”

“A week, give or take a day.”

A certain sadness replaced her former spunky expression. “Why can’t Dan or Micah or Paul go with you? They don’t have wives or children depending on them.”

“Their pas and mine depend on them, though.”

Dinah exhaled a frustrated groan. “Well, it just doesn’t seem right!”

He took a step closer. “What doesn’t?”

“That you’re obliged to bear the whole burden of risk all by yourself, when the results will benefit everyone at the Lazy N.”

Not even Sadie had shown this sort of protectiveness toward him, and it touched him deeply. “I’m not obliged.”

When she looked away, it seemed as though a cloud had slid in front of the moon, dimming the light in his world. He lifted her chin on a curved forefinger. “This whole thing was my idea.”

“And why doesn’t that surprise me, Mr. I-Must-Save-the-Whole-World-All-by-Myself?”

With one hand on either side of her face, he held her gaze. “I don’t want to save the whole world,” he whispered. “Only the part with you in it.”

Her mouth formed an O, as if she had something to say, something to admit. But, as quick as a blink, she bit her lower lip. “I probably won’t be there to see you off in the morning,” she said, stepping away from him. “So, I want you to know, I’ll be…I’ll pray for your safe return, that’s what.”

And with that, Dinah lifted her skirts and raced back toward the house. If the screen door hadn’t banged shut behind her, who knows how long he might have stood on the walk, staring into space, like an empty-headed scarecrow?

It took him an unusually long time to fall asleep because he couldn’t get that look out of his mind. Couldn’t figure out what it was she’d stopped herself from saying, either. The next morning, Josh woke up feeling groggy and grumpy, and not even Lucinda’s hearty breakfast could lift his spirits. Not the best way to start a grueling trip.

The Neville men were there to see him off, just as they’d promised. And, just as she’d promised, Dinah was not, a fact that disappointed him far more than it should have, far more than he cared to admit.

As the others headed out to perform their chores, Matthew hung back. With one hand resting on Josh’s shoulder, he said, “I’m trusting you to take care of things, son, you hear?”

Josh knew by the loving look on his father’s face that the advice was more than just an exhortation to protect the emergency funds taken from the safe earlier that morning. The last time Matthew had traveled the same road, he’d encountered bandits, who had left him penniless and horseless, forcing him to make a long, solitary walk home. Josh was well aware that the farther south he traveled, the more likely he was to encounter predators of the four-legged variety—and the no-legged variety, as well. “I’ve got my Winchester,” he assured his father.

“Well, let’s just pray you won’t have cause to use it.”

The men exchanged a clumsy hug, and as Josh prepared to climb onto the wagon seat, his mother came running across the yard. “Josh, wait—I made you some fried chicken and packed a few pieces of fruit,” she said, thrusting a sack into his gloved hands. “Do you have plenty of water for the horses?”

“Yes’m,” he said. How like her to pretend that her concern was for the animals instead of her only son. It reminded him that not all women were cut out for ranch life—and that fewer still made good ranchers’ wives. “Thanks for the grub.” He hugged her tight. “And I love you, too.”

Tears glistened in her eyes when she said, “God go with you, son.”

Josh hoisted himself into the wagon. “Maybe you can roast a fat hen to welcome me home,” he suggested. Then, with a wink, he urged the horses forward.

He’d gone only a few yards when he saw Daniel limping across the lawn. He knew it was a rugged, possibly dangerous, trip, but he hoped the rest of his cousins wouldn’t show up, one by one, to wish him well. At this rate, he’d never get on the road!

“Hold up, Josh! I’m going with you.”

“But, Dan, I thought you—”

“I have nothing to do that can’t wait a week. Now, slide over and make room for me up there. With this bum leg, once I commit myself, I could very well land in your lap. And wouldn’t that be a nice mental picture for your sweet mama to hold on to while we’re gone!”

Chuckling, Josh did as instructed. As the wagon rolled forward, Dan called over his shoulder, “Don’t you worry, Aunt Eva—I’ll take good care of him!”

It would be good having Dan’s company. Not only was his cousin a better shot, but his constant joke-telling would keep his mind off Dinah and the sad-eyed look she’d left him with.

Was that her way of letting him know she wouldn’t be at the Lazy N when he got back?

With a bit of luck, Dan would distract him from that dreary notion, too.

32

During the first few days after the apoplexy attack, Esther had fought slumber the way a toddler fights naptime. It seemed to Kate that the poor woman feared falling asleep might mean she’d never wake up again. But, as the days passed, Josh’s grandmother spent more time asleep than awake—which became a source of worry and concern for her nurse.

This morning was worse than most.

Kate tried keeping Esther awake by chattering on and on about how Lucinda’s broth was filled with vital nutrients and ingredients, but the woman only moaned, shook her head, and waved the spoon away.

“If you don’t eat something, I’ll have no choice but to call your son and his wife,” Kate warned her gently. “Maybe they’ll be able to talk some sense into you!”

The threat inspired a little pout—and a little cooperation. But, after just a few spoonfuls, Esther shooed her away again.

“Half a teacup of weak broth isn’t enough to sustain you, Esther Neville. You have to eat more than that, or you won’t be strong enough to welcome Josh back from Laredo.”

“L-Laredo?”

Kate reminded her that Josh was headed south to buy a stud bull, one that they hoped would revitalize the herd. But her mind wasn’t on the conversation. Rather, Kate recalled the discussion she’d overheard from the pantry last evening, when Josh had told Lucinda that, when he’d said good night to his grandmother, she’d looked weaker and paler than usual. “Maybe you can talk her into eating something other than clear broth?”

During supper, the men had discussed the potential dangers Josh would face along the way, each sharing suggestions for preventing those he could avoid and methods for handling those he couldn’t. Their conversation had made it blatantly clear that, to remain safe, Josh first had to remain alert. And how could he do that if his head was filled with worries about his grandmother?

Her intent, when Kate had gone looking for him, had been to promise that she’d remain at Esther’s side every minute until he came home again. If she’d known he would look at her so tenderly, that he’d touch her with such gentleness, she would have written her reassuring words in a note to be delivered by George. Because, now, every time she closed her eyes, she’d picture the confused, wounded stare inspired by her hasty departure.

She hadn’t meant to run off like a spoiled, frightened child, but in those warm and wonderful moments, she’d come dangerously close to confessing everything to Josh, right there on the path. In a blinding flash of clarity, she’d realized that blurting out the truth could do more than just end their warm and wonderful interlude. It could distract him out there on the trail. And if, God forbid, something happened to him because of it, she’d never forgive herself.

She’d made a lot of mistakes in her life, but one of the biggest had been accepting his kindness. From the moment she’d stumbled upon Josh’s camp, she had tainted his life, just as surely as Frank had tainted hers.

When he was home, safe and sound, Kate would reveal the truth. And, just as soon as Esther was better…. Oh, who are you kidding? As much as it pained her to admit it to herself, Esther wouldn’t get better. The best Kate could hope for was to keep the poor dear as comfortable as possible until the end came. And something told her that would be soon—very soon—if she couldn’t talk Esther into staying awake long enough to eat and exercise her rapidly deteriorating muscles.

“Esther,” she said, settling onto the edge of her bed, “let’s sit you up a little, all right?” Sliding an arm behind her back, Kate tried to prop her up against the headboard, but the poor old woman was as limp as a rag doll.

“Not to worry,” she announced, settling Esther back onto the pillows. “I know how to remedy this!” Kate darted to her makeshift bed against the wall and grabbed her pillow, then flung open the wardrobe and gathered the extra pillows stored on a shelf inside. One by one, she positioned them beside her patient, under her arms, next to her hips. “There!” she said when at last Esther sat upright. “Maybe now you can stay awake long enough to eat something!”

Esther clamped her teeth together and squeezed her eyes shut, a silent but obvious refusal to cooperate. Kate began to pace at the foot of the bed, muttering to herself as she tried to come up with something—anything—that would rekindle Esther’s desire to live. She knew the dear woman was tired and beyond discouraged by her own helplessness. And how many times during their many hours alone together had Esther said she wanted to go to heaven, where she could see Jesus and reunite with Ezra?

Exasperated, Kate knelt beside the bed and held Esther’s hand. “Now, you listen to me, Esther,” she began. “You can’t just give up this way, especially not while Josh is away on family business. It would break his heart if something happened to you while he was gone. Just think how disappointed he’d be to know you didn’t fight this thing right to the end!”

The woman’s left eyebrow rose ever so slightly. “D-don’ tell him that…that I gave up.”

Don’t tell him! The notion put Kate on her feet so fast, she nearly overturned the bedside table. “How can I make you understand—”

“You don’…under…stand!”

On her knees again, she kissed Esther’s bony knuckles. “What don’t I understand? Oh, dear, sweet Esther, tell me, please, because I’ll do anything to help you.”

“Don’…wan’ help.”

For the first time since volunteering to care for the woman, Kate was angry with her. “Well, if you’re bound and determined to give up, just like that, then I hope you’ll help me figure out how I’m supposed to explain a thing like that to Josh!”

A single, perfectly pronounced and enunciated word sighed past her parched lips: “Tired.”

“Of course, you’re tired. But if you’ll let me feed you something, I’m sure—”

“I wan’…to be with Ezz-ra.” Tears shimmered in her eyes, and her lips trembled. “I m-miss him.” She nodded slowly. “It’s time.”

Kate considered keeping the pressure on, but the agony in Esther’s eyes silenced her. If she missed Josh this much after sharing such a short parcel of his life, how much more must Esther miss Ezra, when they’d been together for decades before his death?

“You get some sleep, dear Esther.” Maybe she’d eat after a refreshing nap. Perhaps the nourishment would rejuvenate her love of life. And, if it didn’t, Kate would seek the guidance of Josh’s mother and father. Hopefully, they would talk some sense into the stubborn woman!

One by one, Kate carefully removed the pillows she’d positioned around Esther, leaving a few in place to keep her up in order to ease her ragged breathing. She tidied the covers and tiptoed from the room, and then, closing the door quietly behind her, pressed her forehead against the cool, plaster wall. It wasn’t until she attempted to fold her hands in prayer that she realized how tightly she’d been clenching her fists.

She dropped to her knees outside Esther’s room and bowed her head. “I’m not asking for myself, but for these good people and that good woman. Enlighten me, Lord. Help me find the words that will restore Esther’s will to live.”

Because it would break Josh’s heart to learn she had joined Him in heaven while he was so far from home.

33

Their first day on the trail, Josh and Dan talked about little else than the promising potential a fresh, new bloodline would bring to the Lazy N. The family had already earned a reputation for sturdy, weighty cows, but they couldn’t take the chance that news of the anthrax outbreak hadn’t spread east and north, where their regular buyers were. Folks feared the disease, and that alone threatened the ranch’s solvency.

“Hard to believe something you can’t see or smell could cause such mayhem,” Dan said. “If I live to be a hundred, I don’t think I’ll ever forget how those poor animals looked, lying there.”

The comment roused ugly images in Josh’s mind, too, starting with the blood oozing from every possible orifice of the wide-eyed bovines to their struggle to breathe during their last agonizing moments. George had been the one to identify the problem; his father and grandfather had experienced the same thing in Mexico. Whether or not it was mere superstition, his advice to let the land go fallow indefinitely was not ignored by the Nevilles.