Beasts and Savages (The Beastly Series Book 1) (10 page)

She made snips to the halter before handing it to me.  It hung low on my shoulders and the bottom brushed the skirt.  Mom cut the strap and tied the ends tightly around my neck. I held my arms out until they ached while she took in the sides. The boots she picked for me were made of the same white fur and had leather straps that criss-crossed and tied just above my knee. The boot folded over the tie, revealing a band of the suede that lined them.

Completely dressed, I held out my hands. “Well?”      

Mom closed her door to reveal a full length mirror hanging on the back side. “Look for yourself.” 

I stood in front of the mirror and studied the girl reflected back at me.  Her olive skin and loose black hair was striking against the stark white fur.  My bare shoulders and the deep V in the top made me feel self-conscious, but the girl in the mirror looked strong and more covered than I felt.  The fur at the bottom of the halter brushed over my skin, making the line between it and my body fuzzy.  The bottom of the skirt had a jagged edge that followed the outline of individual pelts.  This girl, the girl in the mirror, looked like a fighter. Someone ready to hunt.

“You’re beautiful.” Mom kissed the side of my head. “Once I sew everything into place and pull up your hair, you’ll be stunning.”

“Mom I don’t want to hunt.” I watched the words flow out of the girl in the mirror.  She said them with certainty.  Conviction.  I let her strength envelope me. “I can’t cut out a man’s heart.”

“Lea. Hunting isn’t an option.”

“I remember my change. Lucille remembered her hunt.  She couldn’t live with herself after killing! I can’t do it! I can’t relive something that horrid every day of my life. Please!” My voice had risen so high and loud I was sure the neighbors could hear it.  Tears welled in my eyes.

“Lea!” Mom whispered with a hot tone, “You need to calm down. You will hunt.  It is your duty to society and to this family.” Her eyes flashed anger at the girl in the mirror.

“Mom,” I pleaded. “Please.”

She clamped her fingers over my chin and pulled me so close our noses touched. “You will hunt, but not kill.  Hunting, mating is not the same as killing.  I suspect you can control yourself fairly well during your change?”

“Yes,” I sputtered. 

“That’s what I thought.” She let me go, but held my gaze. “Get the requisition papers from Ms. Dawning on Monday.  We’ll need more than five changes to prepare you.  I’ll request that your hunt be postponed until next October, right before your eighteenth birthday.  It’ll give me time to help you.”

“Help me what? Mom I don’t understand.”

“Until you’re approved for a requisition to hunt later, the less you know the better. If anyone asks you why you want to wait a year to hunt, tell them that you just aren’t ready for the responsibility of a child.”

She opened the door. “Put the costume on the bed and be careful not to pull any of the pins.”

I stared after her dumbfounded.  I had never seen my mother this cool, collected.  The woman who left the room was nothing like my carefree, scatterbrained mother. She was someone I had never met.  Someone I wanted to know.

***

On Monday morning I asked Rally to go to the locker room and wait for me there. I didn’t want her to hear about it through a rumor. Still, I wasn’t brave enough to handle Ms. Dawning and Rally at the same time.

“Ms. Dawning I need to talk to you.”

“What is it Corre?” 

“I need requisition papers; my mom and I talked and we decided it’d be better if I waited until next year to hunt. Next October.” I said everything in one breath, rushing the words.

Ms. Dawning sneered. “I wish I could help you, but I’m afraid I can’t.”

“What do you mean? I have up to six months to put in for a date change.  That’s not until this Friday!” 

“That was correct until recently.  When you received your letter medically clearing you, I received a notice saying that no students who have been medically cleared to hunt can request a change in hunt date.”

“Ms. Dawning. Please. I’m not ready. My family isn’t ready.  We need time.” I choked down a sob.

“I’m sorry Lea, it isn’t up to me. You’ve six months to get ready. Use it wisely.” There was no compassion in her voice.

I ran to the locker room, with tears blurring my vision.

“What’s wrong?” Rally asked. She touched my arm and I jerked away.

“Nothing. Everything.” I sank to the cement floor and buried my face into my hands.

“Hey. I’m here for you. I’m your best friend.” She sat down next to me and put her hand on my shoulder. This time I didn’t pull away.

“My mom. She told me that I could requisition to hunt later. Next October.”

“I thought that’s what you wanted.”

“Ms. Dawning- the Department for Fertility- says that I have to hunt. I’ve been medically cleared, so I have to hunt.” 

“Lea, that’s terrible. I’m sorry.” She nudged me with her elbow. “At least you’ll get to hunt with me.”

“It’s not like that, Rally. I didn’t want to hunt at all. Now, I’m being forced to in six months.” I glared at her.

“Fine. Stay in here and have your little pity party.” She stood and stomped her foot.  “I’m sure May would be willing to trade you places if she could. When you’re done feeling sorry for yourself, come find me.” 

“Rally.”

“No. I was excited to hunt with you. I had someone to have this adventure with and –and- you don’t even care!” She wailed as she ran out the door.

I stared after her. Rally had never spoken to me like that before. I thought about May.  If I could trade with her, I might.  I wondered if May would still be upset with her lot in life if she knew she would remember killing a man for the sake of a conquest. 

I didn’t bother changing. I gathered my bag and ran home.  The scent of chicken and rosemary wafted through the house. I knew it was too early for Mom to be home, so I sought out Nana. She was in her usual spot in the kitchen slicing potatoes.

“You’re home early.” She didn’t look up.  She knew it was me by the way I moved.

“Bad day.” I plucked a strawberry from a bowl.

“I’m making pie with those.” She passed me a bowl of grapes.

I buried my face in my hands and sighed. “Nana, would you hate me if I didn’t hunt?” 

“Why would you ask me a question like that?” The knife had stopped moving and Nana watched me through hooded lids.

“I- I don’t think it’s right for me. Hunting. I don’t think I can do it.” I pulled my head up and leaned back in the chair.

“Hunting is the duty of every woman, Lea. We have a responsibility to our society, our way of life.” She plucked another potato and began slicing. “That said, I think killing is barbaric. Even when one kills a savage. And I think... that you will do the right thing.”

“Thank you Nana.” I kissed her on the cheek.

“Do you think you could convince Mom that I will?” I tilted my head.

“Now that, dear, is your responsibility. Your mother may be a little flighty, but she has a good heart.  Talk to her.”

“I will.” I popped another grape in my mouth and went to Mom’s room.  My costume was draped across her chair, and her bed was neatly made.  I lay down on top of her gray blankets and watched the ceiling. I tried to think of ways I could convince Mother that I wasn’t ready to hunt.  This would be harder because she would have to go straight to the Department of Fertility herself and petition a waiting period for me. I didn’t think she would do that.  

I relaxed and thought about what Nana had told me. Follow my heart. My heart told me that I wasn’t strong enough to hunt.  

“Was it strength I needed?” I asked myself aloud. No. Killing someone is something someone with a weak character would do. Maybe I didn’t have it in me to carry a complete disregard for another’s life.

I closed my eyes. Physical exhaustion was setting in from the running and crying that had consumed my morning.  Thinking was getting more difficult.  Mom wouldn’t be home for a few more hours.  I fell asleep.

***

“Rough day?” Mother had climbed into bed next to me and was pulling me to her shoulder.

“Terrible.” I rested my head in the crook of her shoulder and let her push the hair out of my face.  It had been years since I had snuggled like this with her, yet instantly I felt protected and loved.

“What happened?”

“Ms. Dawning said that I couldn’t requisition for a later hunt date. That the Department of Fertility requires girls who’ve been cleared to hunt to do so on the day they are scheduled.”

“Oh.” She frowned, but continued to stroke my hair.

“Mom. What are we going to do? I can’t hunt. I can’t! I could never live with myself if I killed someone.”

“Shh, sweetie. Listen. You can hunt without killing.  Mate without hurting the male. I know.”

“How do you know?” I lifted my head to face her. Her eyes shone brightly.

“I think it’s time I told you about my hunts.”

Chapter 7

~Mom’s Story~

"Mom, wait. You remember your hunts?" I knew that my mother was keeping some big dark secret. I thought that Lucille had confided in Mom that she remembered the hunt, not that she remembered her own.