Beasthood (The Hidden Blood Series) (44 page)

             
She was suddenly overwhelmed by the cold, cutting realization that the man standing in front of her might be dead in a week. It ripped through her chest and she was suddenly unable to breathe. She began panting and then panicking because no matter how much air she took in, she still felt like she was suffocating to death.

             
Nik led her to the bed in one sweeping motion, propped her down as she gasped out the obvious, “I. Can't. Breathe,” and he pushed her head down between her knees.

“
Take deep, slow breaths. Calm. Down.”

             
She listened to his soothing, velvet voice as he gently spoke to her, instructing her, with his warm hand resting lightly between her shoulder blades. She focused on that, and eventually her panic subsided, followed by the ability to breathe properly again.

             
After five more minutes or so, she slowly lifted her head, feeling very lightheaded. Nik sat down beside her, sometimes glancing her way, sometimes in front of him. Jaz kept her gaze fixed on her yellow and blue rug running from the door to the desk.

             
She enjoyed the task of following all the wiggles and patterns woven into it with her sharp night vision eyes. Well not quite night vision. But she could see better than she'd ever been able to before. This, Nik's distant but comforting presence, and the silence of the night calmed her.

             
When she exhaled loudly, he took that as a sign to speak. “I needed to see you.”

             
She closed her eyes, hearing the yearning -almost verging on desperation- in his words. She didn't allow herself to question whether she was right or not.

“
I'm sorry...” she muttered, mortified.

             
He didn't say anything, or ask her about it. She was grateful.

             
He began with, “I know that what happened today must have been not only scary but very confusing and I can imagine right now you're a lovely mixture of 'upset' and 'pissed off' with me...” he waited for Jaz to have her say. But she only watched him. A tiredness in her eyes that he did not like. “But I wanted your help with something.”

“
Name it.”

             
He hesitated. “Tomorrow Swain is going to ask you, from me, to be a witness at the council meeting.” When Jaz stared at him blankly he added, “at twelve-thirty. To discuss the duel.”

             
She blinked and then glancing sideways she asked in a small voice, “Do you want me to be there?” 

             
He watched her with an intensity that made her look up, as if she felt the heat of it on her skin. He said softly, “No.” He found her more curious than puzzled by this.

             
Rather than ask the obvious, she read between the lines. “You don't trust Swain?”

“
I don't trust anyone. Not completely. Not with everything. Except myself.”

             
Jaz strangely didn't take any offense at this. She was surprised at herself that she understood. Frankly so was Nik.

             
When the quietness became unbearable he grabbed her by the arms, giving her a slight shake as if trying to wake her up and demanded, “Why don't you hit me? Yell at me!? Argue with me!? Tell me how much of an arsehole I'm being!?”

             
She smiled and that's when a small but telltale tear trickled down her face. He wanted to wrap his arms around her, but something stopped him. It felt selfish, especially when she was afraid she'd lose him. He waited for her to make the first move instead, but she shrugged him away.

“
I might feel like punching your lights out later, but right now, this is all I've got,” she whispered, hinting at a joke. He couldn't smile. “So I tell Swain where to shove it tomorrow?”

“
The angrier the better. Verbally punch me in the face.”

“
I think I can do that,” she smiled, looking herself again.

“
Don't give away that we mean more to each other than friends.” She looked at him with questioning eyes. She didn't ask what she really wanted to know. But he answered her anyway. “We mean more than friends. At least, on my part.”

             
Her lips curved up. “I'll remember that.”

~
Chapter 37-
Huddle~

Wednesday, June 29
th
,  Evening.

             
Jaz and the others were huddled round a log fire at the Log Bridge river. The ambush at the Silver Back River was still fresh on their brains, so for now they stayed clear of that place.

             
The scent of burning wood and bonfired meat was in the air. They munched on burgers with splodges of ketchup, happily licking the red sauce from their lips and telling jokes. It had been Alf and Kenna's idea to try to keep them occupied, and happy.

             
Skye was feeling particularly down with her brother still in the infirmary. He'd suffered a concussion but mostly he was just shaken up by the incident. Doctor Astrid had said it would be best for him to stay there tonight and go back to his own home in the morning. Skye was happy she'd be able to take care of him. But she was livid at what had been done to him.

             
And they had also found out that day what the date of the Pack Leader duel was. It had been set for two days time. This Friday. July 1
st
. Just the sound of the date felt strangely ominous to Jaz. She knew it would be a day she'd never forget. No matter what the outcome.

             
And Alf more than anyone, who was around Nik and Jaz the most, understood what this was doing to her. He was the closest male friend she'd ever had. He nudged her shoulder now, handing her another burger.

             
She groaned, “I can't.”

“
Go on,” he nudged her again, “y'know you want to.” She pulled a face. “Don't hold out on me Skin. Men like a woman who can eat.” She laughed loudly and took the burger from him. “Skye? You want one?”

             
She shook her head from her quiet place across the fire. Kelda was to her left, Kenna to her right. Kenna passed Jaz some Greek salad she'd made for everyone and Jaz took a generous helping before handing it to Alf.

“
I hope he kills him,” Kenna said loudly. They all looked up. She had a fire in her eyes that didn't come from the reflection of the burning wood. “I really hope he does.”

             
Skye and Jaz exchanged looks. Jaz was fearful and anxious, Skye was comforting and supportive. She suddenly came to life, feeling she had a role to perform; being there for Jaz.

             
Jaz wished she could be more like that. Skye's little brother was in the infirmary, with a massive black eyes and bruises. Completely shaken and distraught. She'd never seen him like that and hoped to God, never to see him like that again. She couldn't get the image out of her head. She'd been so shocked, she couldn't even hold Skye's hand to comfort her.

             
Now she felt she had to return the favor. “For Ronnie,” she added.

              Skye smiled fleetingly, a tear rolled down her cheek.

             
Alf slapped his lap. “For Ronnie. I'd gladly volunteer to kick Kain's big head in for beating up my little munchkin!”

             
Everyone sniggered.

             
Even Skye began grinning though the tears still flowed. She sniffed, wiping her nose on her sleeve. “Nik'll win, Jaz,”she whispered. “He
will
,” she said firmly, trying to reassure herself if no one else.

             
Jaz sighed, feeling everyone's eyes on her. “Put it this way... he
has
to,” she replied without meeting anyone's gaze. “Otherwise... I don't even wanna think what that will mean for this village.”

                                                                                    *

“What do you mean I can't go!?” she yelled pelting a cushion at Nik's chest from across the room.

             
Skye had gone home leaving Kenna, Kelda and Alf as witnesses to Jaz's fury.

             
She'd already been put on edge by everything that had happened that week, psyching herself up for being there when Nik had to fight Kain, only to be told she couldn't go. Her PMS didn't help matters. She was raging-bull mad.

“
Jaz, calm down!” Alf shouted over the hurling of sofa cushions.

             
When she ran out of missiles, she grabbed the first thing she could. A big, heavy ornament of an angel.

             
Kenna cried out, snatching it from her. “Mum will kill you! Or us! Or
both
!” and then she cradled it protectively in her arms. Jaz clenched her fist, tempted to use them on whoever was closest. Kenna instinctively leant back slightly.

“
I thought you said it'd be too hard to watch anyway?” Kelda argued catching Jaz's attention. She responded with a venomous glare and Kelda balked, nervously brushing her growing bangs behind her bright pink ear.

             
Nik didn't say a word. He didn't even dodge Jaz's cushion attack. He was watching her in his dark, indefinable way that she could feel from across the room. Her breath faltered when their eyes locked. For a moment it was like no one was there.

“
Nik, just let her go.”

             
Jaz was surprised to find the words had come out of Alf's mouth.

             
Alf worshiped the ground Nik walked on. She'd never heard him disagree with any of his decisions.

             
Nik studied him for a long moment, equally taken aback. “Apart from the obvious, what
other
reason could I have?” He enunciated it in a way that let you know Alf was very much aware of what he was talking about.

             
Kenna glanced Jaz's way fleetingly in an awkward jittery movement. When Jaz tried to study her face she turned her chin to the side. Jaz then looked at Kelda questioningly but she dodged her gaze completely. Jaz frowned.

“
You can smell it. Especially now,” Nik was saying, bringing her back to him. 

             
Alf's stare faltered as he momentarily flashed a glance Jaz's way before fixing his ocean eyes on the wooden floor.

“
Am I missing something?” she asked huskily, then cleared her throat. No one looked at her apart from Nik. She raised her brows, demanding, '
Well
?' with sharp eyes.

             
It wasn't him who replied.

“
He means your scent, at this time especially, is more... obvious.”

             
She scowled at Alf. “Speak.
English
!” But before he could answer she suddenly understood.

They couldn't poss...?
If she could smell her blood, then...

             
She slapped her hands to her mouth in mortification. “Oh. My. God.” A high-pitched moan escaped between her fingers, and she clenched her eyes shut as she took a moment to overcome her chagrin. No one spoke until she stuttered, “So... um... okay... Now I know that
nothing
about my body is private anymore, which by the way is
very
embarrassing,” she laughed uncomfortably. “Umm, why else is that a problem? I mean I'm not the only woman who
bleeds,
” she whispered the word, biting on her tongue afterwards. “Right?” She turned to the other two who looked at her hesitantly, suspiciously quiet. “
Right
?” she demanded.

“
Not every month,” Kenna provided.

             
Alf shuffled as if the topic of female ovulation was uncomfortable for him. Somewhere in the back of her mind Jaz smirked.

             
Kenna then began to explain the similarities between Were and canine, particularly wolves. How they were somewhere between human and wolf when it came to period cycles and that female Weres had a similar sensation as being in heat every few months, sometimes more.

             
Jaz kept glancing at Nik, hoping to see him looking as uncomfortable as Alf but he was standing there, listening, his eyes focused on Kenna whenever Jaz looked his way. When she wasn't looking at him, it was then he stole glances at her.

             
Kenna told her that Weres have periods about every two months-( saying 'As you know' beforehand because of course, Jaz should have known this) so their chances of getting pregnant are about half of what humans are able to in a year. But they have the advantage of getting pregnant very easily. Something about the sperm being super efficient, which made all the women blush a little.

             
Once the child is conceived, they are usually born two months earlier than an average human baby. Which made Jaz wonder if at seven months pregnant, Lora's unborn child had been fully developed. She swallowed back the bile in her throat, peering at Nik. Again she missed his gaze.

             
Then, after Kenna explained the anatomy of Weres -making Jaz feel even more uncomfortable knowing she bled like a normal human, and becoming anxious by the second as she wondered if any of them knew this, if their scent is supposed to be that sharp and maybe that's what Kenna had been hinting at- Kelda finally got to the brutal point.

“
Your scent is strong. Much stronger than normal,” Kelda commented.

             
Jaz flinched, feeling exposed. “
Normal
?” she whispered.

“
What she means,” Alf cut in, giving Kelda a slicing look, “is that a lot can be read in the scent of blood. Sometimes, certain females have a much more noticeable scent than others.”

“
Like... in a
bad
way?”

             
Alf flushed but had the decency to answer. “Your smell isn't bad. We don't smell scents that way. I'm sure you've noticed.”

             
She had. Bad scents became more interesting and layered and complex with her new nose. You could pick up so much from a pile of faeces or a dead animal. Where it came from. What the animal had eaten before death. What was in the faeces. How old they were. How long the rodent had been dead. Though it still smelt disgusting.

             
So what could the smell of blood teach a Were? She'd never tried to 'read' the scent of her blood. To her, it wasn't that strong. Just more noticeable than it used to be.

             
Nik added to her thoughts. “Male Weres tend to have a sharper sense of smell than females,” he announced, speaking for the first time since he'd told her she wasn't coming. She involuntarily clenched her fists. “Female Weres have either better sight or hearing. Sometimes both, like Tyra. My point is this; if you're sitting in an arena full of male Weres, carrying that scent, whilst you're bleeding, well... they may learn a lot about you very quickly.”

             
Jaz gnawed her bottom lip. “Stop making me ask,” she grunted.

             
Without blinking he responded with, “They'll pick up you're a possible Alpha female from your strong scent. Some female Weres carry off a particularly strong, almost intoxicating scent that even the weaker noses can pick up. Can decipher.”

“
And not just a potential Alpha female,” Alf added, gazing at her gently. “Any female and even a few males can have that stronger scent on various levels. Skye, Tyra, Maria, a few others you may know have it, though honestly, not quite the same as you do.”  

“
Why?”

             
He just shrugged. “Why do you have green eyes? Why am I blonde?” Jaz gazed at Alf thoughtfully. “It's just in the genes I guess. But a Pack Leader's mate's scent always becomes more perfumed when their mate-ship is consummated. The scent is a very distinct smell, sort of earthy and flowery but unique to each person- and is more noticeable than other female Weres, so we know who she is. And that she's taken. It's a gift, and a curse as well for her.” Alf and Nik exchanged a look that Jaz didn't notice.

             
She was too busy deciding how to ask her next question. “She also becomes more attractive to others?”

             
Like a rock star or a Queen. Just because they have status and power, they're appeal increases tenfold.

Mick Jagger wasn't exactly a hunk, even in his youth, but he still got his groupies
, she thought. And she only asked this because of the increase in male attention since she'd been here.  She knew now that whatever her connection with Nik was, it had something to do with her strong scent.

“
You could say that,” Alf hedged, looking at Nik for help. 

“
Most of the women who are present at events like the arena have a high status, usually because they're mates of a Pack Leader. They'll see you as a rival even when you aren't actually a mate, just a potential, even if you have no feelings in that respect,” he gave her a pointed look, “you don't want that attention. Not when you have no solid position. You'll be sniffed out by any male who thinks he has the balls to claim you,” Nik explained.