Beasthood (The Hidden Blood Series) (25 page)

“
Jasmine and Fraya.”

             
The weight of that knowledge burned his insides. Fraya was a loyal and valued member of the Pack. They had a long history and she was devoted to him. But he knew her temper and now he knew what sparked it more than anything else. He filed this new knowledge in his mental detective notes for later revision. “What happened?”

“
Fraya's kind of been a little rough on Jaz. And Jaz must have just gotten fed up of it.”

“
In what way has Fraya been rough on her?”

             
Carr's bottom lip folded down as if to try and make it appear less serious than he suspected Nik thought it was. “Name-calling mainly.”

“
What else?”

“
Shoves, nasty comments.”

“
Why didn't you mention this to me before?”

             
Carr's mouth opened and he gaped at Nik in disbelief. “You know what Fraya is like. And it isn't just Fraya who has a hard time accepting a new member in the beginning.”

             
Driver moved on, not wanting to dwell on issues that he found so frustrating yet could only do so much about, even in his position. People will think what they want. All he had to do was stop it from seeping into their actions. “So what happened today?”

“
From what I saw and heard from others who'd witnessed it, Jaz accidentally knocked Fraya over, slipped in the mud and landed on top of her. That led to an argument. Fraya got confrontational, Jaz backed down. Well, actually she turned her back on her and walked away.” Nik gazed at him, only half concealing the smile as he imagined this. Carr looked just as amused by it as he was. “Naturally, Fraya was pretty pissed at the insult,” he provided with a sardonic grin.

“
Jaz doesn't understand our fighting etiquettes.”

             
Carr bobbed his head in understanding. “I'm glad. I ain't never seen Fraya look so angry. She was so red, I thought her head was gonna explode.”

             
They both laughed.

“
Well thanks, for stopping her before she did something stupid.”

“
Yeah, like rip the poor Cub's throat out.”

             
Nik clenched his jaw. Carr surveyed him inquiringly. Nik stopped him asking anything personal by throwing a question back at him.“So you didn't see the whole thing?”

“
Well, most of it. But it was raining heavily and we were all rushing to get the timber inside before it got too wet. I caught them seconds before Fraya tried to lunge for her.”

             
Nik looked to his left grumbling 'Damn Fraya' and then gave Carr a sideways glance. “She
must
be disciplined. Her behaviour was unacceptable. I don't doubt she'll continue to harass Jaz unless we punish her for her insolence. I won't have it. We'll bring this matter to the council tomorrow morning. See what she has to say. Meanwhile keep her under house arrest. I don't want her going anywhere near that site.”

“
Your the boss,” he replied flashing his bright teeth. Nik gazed down at the phone, wondering whether he should leave it to Edda to call him, whilst Carr studied his face. “Is something wrong?”

             
Nik looked up.“Has anyone heard from Edda since Jaz left the site?”

             
Carr frowned, puzzled.“No, why?”

“
I came down to the site today.”

“
I saw.” Carr said in a tone that read 'Obviously'. Nik paused, nodded once, whilst gripping the edge of his varnished desk. “And...?” Carr encouraged.

             
Nik shook his head. “Nothing.” The shrill of the phone ringing broke the silence between them and Nik grabbed it so quickly Carr gave him a curious look. “Hello?”

“
Nik, it's Edda.”

             
He looked up at Carr with implication.

“
Okay, I get the hint,” he said jokingly, raising up his hands, “I'm going.”

“
Carr,” Carr turned round just as he reached the door. “I want you to fill everyone in tomorrow at the council meeting. You witnessed part of the incident.”

             
Carr made a face as if about to come up with an excuse but swiftly changed his mind. He rubbed the back of his neck. “Sure. Okay.”

“
Also bring two witnesses who saw the whole thing. I'll talk to you later.”

“
Alright.” He left.

             
Nik loosened his grip on the phone and said, “I'm here.”

“
She's had her first attack.”

             
Nik frowned, his lined forehead shaping the concern on his face. “When, and how long?”

“
Right after we spoke. I got there not long after and found her on the floor, shaking. She got through it. But it was tough. It lasted an hour.”

“
An
hour
?” He could barely conceal the horror in his voice.

             
A seizure, attack or the 'shakes' was a symptom of the body preparing for the first ever Change. The moment when their human shaped bodies would break bones, twist limbs, stretch muscles and skin to morph into their other being. It was an excruciating process.

             
The attacks and then eventually the Changes got easier to manage over time and experience. The more often you Changed the better you could control it, handle it, maybe even get used to the pain.

Yeah right.
Nik thought cynically. You knew what to expect the more times you did it, but you could never really 'get used to it'. It was always as horrible as the first time. It never got
less
painful.

You just get more thick skinned and learn to deal with it.

              The spasms continue after the first Change, as an indicator that your body needs to Change. An average Were could last about a week without feeling it but after that they'd get that niggling itch, and then shivers, until the urge, and then eventually the shakes, became so uncontrollable you'd have to Change or you'd wish for death over and over again.

             
The pre-Change spasms were harsher than those after, unless you left it too long between Changes, though no one had ever been dumb enough to test it. On average they'd last anywhere between five to twenty minutes. Nik remembered Lora having an attack that lasted half an hour. But never any longer. No one had ever had one any longer before. Not on record.

             
An hour was ridiculously long. He couldn't begin to imagine the agony she must have been through.

             
As he processed this, Edda brought him back to the here and now. “She's fine,” she reassured. “She's resting. But she kept asking me something... a lot.”

“
What she say?”

             
Edda sighed heavily. “She wants her parents, Nik. And her friends. She kept asking, begging me to let her call them. I didn't know what to say. Would it be so bad if she did?”

             
Nik thought about it for a moment.“I'm coming over.”

~
Chapter 23-
Restore
~

Sunday June 5
th
, 4:03 p.m.

I want to die. Please, please just let me die.

              Nothing else but those words repeated over and over again in her head. Her insides were screaming for the attack to stop.

             
Her muscles writhed and cramped and felt like they were being ripped apart by poker-hot claws.

             
Her bones crunched as they dislocated and clicked grotesquely back into place. Focusing mainly in her spine, her hips and then her ankles, fingers, knees, wrists and heels. The pain was so unbearable she'd blacked out several times, only realizing she was lucid when Edda's face appeared through the clouded screen of her vision.

             
After her body stopped fighting itself like a wild, raging animal, ripping its way through her bones, muscles, organs and skin, – a thought that horrified her as it wasn't that far from the reality- she continued to convulse uncontrollably.

             
Her limbs had shook as if she was laying naked in the snow, in the midst of a violent snowstorm, deep in the arctic Alaskan desert. But she had been, in fact, far from freezing. Her body had dripped with sweat, causing her to slip around on the wooden floor as her limbs jerked and shivered. Her skin had been on fire and bright red as the blood rushed to it.

             
She touched her throat now as she laid in her bed, wrapped in layers of blankets. She now felt severely cold. Her body heat spent. Her throat burned. It was so sore from all her wailing and howls. She'd never heard herself make such sounds. They had barely sounded human. It had terrified her.

             
She thought she'd really Changed into a horrible Beast. Like the flashing image in the public toilets. She shivered. Not from the cold, or her attack, but from terror and repugnance.

“
What's... happening... to me...” she sobbed quietly. It wasn't a question. Just a release. Like exhaling.

             
She'd been warned. Driver had tried to tell her. She'd been too much of a coward to ask about it. To get his or Maria's advice. She'd shunned any that was given to her. She'd made anyone stop if they spoke about it, changing the subject or bluntly telling them to move on. Now she regretted it wholeheartedly. “Why didn't I just suck it up and listen?” She knew why. “Because I'm a coward. Because I wanted to believe it wasn't real. But I always knew. I can feel it.”

             
She was referring to the Beast inside of her.

             
The animal side that had fully awakened, fighting for control the moment she had come here. The animal that -even before coming to Deer Creek- she'd felt from time to time when something or someone had angered her or made her feel threatened. And she'd never felt more threatened than when she'd been trapped inside that 'cell'.

             
That was when she'd first truly felt the power of it.

             
She didn't want to -and hadn't wanted to- eat raw, bloody meat, IT did.              

             
She didn't want to jump Driver's bones, IT did.

             
She didn't attack Alf, IT did.

             
She'd wanted to stay away from Fraya whilst IT wanted to rip her throat out.

             
Now IT was getting Its own back and taking over her body. That's what she could feel. And like the ripping sensation inside her, and the power of It as It tried to take over, it all reminded her of the film Alien. A parasite writhing under her skin. Her whole body felt like it was going to split apart to make way for the alien monster brewing inside of her.

             
She knew how offensive that would sound to anyyone in the community if she ever tried to confide in someone about it, so she kept it locked away inside.

             
As she shivered under the blankets, the sound of a quiet knocking on the front door made her hold her breath to listen.

             
She was getting used to hearing things that she couldn't hear before so rather than freak out over how clearly she heard Edda walk towards it, and the low, manly voice of Nik Driver, she slid out of bed awkwardly, wrapping the covers around her like she was a human sausage roll and tiptoed painfully to her bedroom door.

             
It was only slightly ajar, allowing a tiny slit of light from the hallway lamp. She opened it a little, tempted to peer out but held herself back. He'd see her and she didn't want to be seen right now.

“
Nik. You want to come in?” Edda whispered.

“
I don't think that would be a good idea. I just wanted to give you this.” There was a pause.

“
Thank you,” Edda sounded relieved. Another pause.

“
How is she doing?”

“
Well, she's well enough to probably resent me if I told you all her pains and symptoms. It would no doubt embarrass her and I'd never hear the end of it.”

             
There was a light, shushed chuckle which was new to Jaz. She didn't recall ever hearing a sound like that coming from his mouth. “I'm sure you wouldn't. Tell her that you'll need that back after she's finished with it, you know the drill.”

“
Okay.”

“
I'll call you tomorrow morning.”

             
The door shut and Jaz walked into the hallway.

             
Edda turned and saw her lingering there. “What are you doing out of bed!” she hissed, trying to keep her voice down. “You need to rest.” She had her hand behind her back and Jaz eyed it curiously as she hobbled into the living room, trying her hardest to conceal how much pain and effort it took.

“
What did he give you?”

             
Edda stared at her for a moment and then sighed. She held up the object in her hand. Jaz's eyes widened with surprise and then joy.

             
A mobile phone.

             
She inhaled, about to explode with the joy she felt just before Edda cut in, “It's only for tonight,” she warned.

             
Jaz bobbed her head happily. “That's okay.”

“
You will have to give it back to me.”

“
Okay.”

“
And you cannot mention anything about us or this place. Just that it's a health centre and spa and you're having a good time and that you're okay.”

“
Alright,” she accepted with a grin.

“
Including your parents,” Edda added in a low voice.

“
We
are
talking about my parents who
raised
me right?” Jaz asked facetiously.

             
Edda raised a brow and gave her a look. She then softened and added, “You cannot mention anything. Even if they may know a bit about you and your real parents, you cannot talk about it. Even if they ask, don't say anything about this place that you wouldn't say to your friends. We don't know who is listening.” Jaz nodded again, in understanding. “Nik has entrusted you with this,  even though he knows the dangers of it.
Don't
let him down.” Jaz gave her a look that showed how grateful she was of him and of her for doing this. “Don't let
me
down,” she said in a low, weak voice.

“
I won't.”

             
The tone Jaz used and the resolute look on her face made Edda believe her completely. She slowly handed it to her and said, “When you're done, I'll make you some hot chocolate and then you can go to sleep. You'll be completely healed by tomorrow.”

             
Jaz didn't believe that all her muscles and bones, which right now felt like they'd been bashed and ripped and then glued back together again, could feel completely normal by morning, but she nodded anyway and holding the phone up as if it was a fragile trinket, she walked back into her room. Her steps were much stronger now that she had something to look forward to.

             
She sat on her bed, swaddled herself in the covers and exhaled with nervousness. She began to worry about how she was going to deal with everyone's worries and concerns. Their questions and more questions and the needs of assurance and promises she couldn't keep. She didn't know when or if she'd ever go back there. If she'd ever see them again.

             
How was she going to swing this?

             
The first number she dialled was the one she hoped would be easier.

             
Ellie answered on the fourth ring. “Hello?” came her high, sweet voice. It sounded unsure and guarded because she was calling her on an unknown number.

“
Ellie?”

“
Oh my god, JAZ!”

             
There was another girl in the background shouting her name and a thundering sound as the girl approached the phone. She recognized Lisa's loud, vibrant voice straightaway. “Jaz, where the fuck have you been!?” she yelled. “We have been going out of our minds!”

             
This was why she'd called Ellie first. Lisa was always very direct. Even more so than Jaz. She'd wanted Ellie alone first so she could at least have a practise run before speaking to Lisa.

Oh well, kill two birds with one stone.

“
Calm
down, I'm fine. Are you at Ellie's?”

“
Yes. Wait, I'm gonna put you on speaker.”

“
Are you guys alone?”

“
Yes, why?” Ellie asked warily.

“
Just don't want anyone eavesdropping.”

“
What's going
on
, where
are
you?” Ellie demanded, though it sounded silly with her sweet voice.

“
Didn't my parents tell you?”

“
They said you went to that spa you told us about. But then they changed their story and said you weren't, like, well or something, and you've gone to some like, health facility or some shit. They were totally hedging the whole time.”

“
Lis, I'm at the spa that's true. But it's basically a clinic and spa too. I went there for... for mental health reasons. ”

“
Why what's wrong with you?”

“
Nice, real smooth, Lis,” Ellie mumbled.

“
Oh god, I didn't mean it like that. She knows what I meant.”

“
No it's fine, Elle. I've just been a little down for a while now. And not sleeping so well.”

“
Since when? How come you never told us?” Lisa, getting offended.

             
Ellie grumbled a warning at her.

             
Jaz sighed, preparing herself for a careful speech that said enough to keep them pacified but told them nothing, and to try and do it all without lying to them. Well, without lying to them TOO much.

I'm a horrible person.

             
She breathed in and out loudly, pausing a moment before speaking. “You remember a year ago when I was off sick for like three weeks? I told you I'd caught a bug and you had to stay away 'cos I didn't want you to catch it?”

“
Yeah?”

“
Yes?”

“
Well, that's not really true. I can't really talk about the real reason 'cos it's difficult for me, but I went through something... mentally. Something that totally freaked me out and I needed time to recover from it.”

“
What was it?” Ellie inquired gently.

“
I can't really explain. I mean, like not now, maybe when I'm ready. All I can say was that I was really badly affected by it.  It was sort of a nightmare I had that was so real I thought it was real. That make sense?”

“
I think so,” Ellie said, trying to help Jaz get through it.

“
Anyway, I've been trying to get over it for a year. The doc didn't know what was up and I was seeing my Aunt Ruth.”

“
The psychiatrist bitch Aunt Ruth?” Lisa grumbled.

“
The very one.”

“
Wow, you must have been desperate.”

“
Lisa!” Ellie cried in horror.

             
Jaz burst out laughing despite herself and that made Lisa giggle. Then Ellie sniggered a little too.

“
So my Aunt Erica suggested I should come here. It's a private place. Sort of exclusive and hush hush. Even celebrities come here,” Jaz added in a pretend excited voice.