Beasthood (The Hidden Blood Series) (19 page)

             
Alf came back into the living-room/kitchen, glanced Jaz's way, smiled lightly and then marching towards the door, he called to Edda who was rummaging in the pastel blue 'Smeg' fridge. “I'm off,” he announced.

             
Edda called back, “Okay!” before he vanished out of sight.

             
Jaz turned to look back at Edda. She was a stranger to her and had been left alone with her. But oddly, she didn't feel scared. Maybe a little uncomfortable, which was normal when you didn't know a person.

             
Edda's hands were piled high with sandwich items from the fridge. She carried them carefully to the breakfast bar in front of Jaz. She put them down slowly, grabbed the chopping board from the wall by the sink and placed it down. There was a knife block next to where the chopping board had been and she pulled out a small one. She washed two big tomatoes, lettuce, cucumber, cabbage,  and then began slicing. “How do you like your sandwiches?”

             
Jaz shook her head. “I'm not really hungry.”

             
Edda stopped slicing the tomato and looked up at Jaz with a serious expression; the smile moments ago had evaporated. Jaz tensed. “I didn't ask if you were hungry.” Jaz blinked, unsure of what to say. Edda was suddenly smiling and the rapid change in expression made Jaz dizzy and a little terrified. Edda's next words were more gentle in tone. “Whilst you're here, you're gonna have to listen to me and follow what I tell you. It's for your own benefit. One of my rules is that you
have
to eat. Even if you don't feel hungry. You need the strength. You need a balanced diet, but most importantly in your case, you need
a lot
of iron.”

“
But it doesn't matter how much iron I consume. My body can't absorb it properly.”

             
Edda shook her head. “You need a lot more than what is daily recommended for an average human woman. The doctors could never work it out because what levels of iron they think would kill you, would actually be exactly -maybe a bit less even- than what you've always needed.

“
Those iron shots you take are a temporary fix. So are the pills. They're also not the natural stuff. Not the iron your body can perfectly, naturally absorb. Your body is starved of red meat, even of vegetables and fruit teeming with iron. Of blood. That is why you crave it so much. That kickstart drug you were given when you were brought here just made your body realize what it needed all along.” Jaz swallowed, unable to look her in the eye. It surprised her when Edda's rough hand rested on hers. She nearly pulled away but something stopped her. It was the understanding, affectionate look in the woman's eyes. “All this time you've lived without knowing what you are, what your body needs. Stick with me and you won't ever have to take those shots or pills again.”

“
You don't... you don't expect me to believe that you can-can
cure
me?”

             
Edda leant back and removed her hand. “No. But I will nonetheless. But you have to do what I say. So when I say eat, you eat. When I say do this work, you do it. When I say sleep, you sleep-”

“
-And when you say pee, I pee right?” Jaz butted in, sardonically.

             
Edda gazed at her for a moment and then laughed. Her laugh tinkled like a bell. It was the kind of laugh that made others laugh. If Jaz wasn't so wound tight, she would have laughed as well. “No, that you can do all by yourself.”

             
Jaz smiled.

             
Edda moved onto the second tomato, then the cheese, then the cold slices of uncooked meat. Jaz scrutinized it wondering where they got it from, or what it even was. She suspected -after getting a slab of fresh, bloody meat- they had animals nearby that they killed for food. She didn't ask.

“
So how do you like it?” Edda asked again.

“
Brown bread. Anything else is up to you.”

             
Edda grinned. “Good answer.”

             
Jaz sat and Edda stood in the same place as they wolfed down their sandwiches. When Edda had finished hers (way before Jaz- she was a slow eater) she gazed squarely at Jaz and said, “You look so much like your mother.”

             
Jaz nearly choked on the mouthful of beef (she recognized the taste), lettuce and tomato. She swallowed quickly, hurting her throat. Staring at Edda with wide eyes she whispered, “What did you just say?”

“
Actually, with the way you look now, I see your father in you. He has that same look when he's surprised.”

“
Y-you
knew
them?”

             
Edda nodded somberly. “Thorpe and Eliza. They were such a sweet couple. Got married young. Left the community over twenty years ago. Never came back. But I still hear from them from time to time. We've always been close friends, since we were kids.”

             
Jaz hadn't moved. She was afraid the earth would swallow her up or something horrible would happen if she so much as asked to know anything about them. What if it changed everything? Again. She was already standing on a small piece of shaky ground. She didn't know how she'd survive if the whole foundations of her life collapsed.

I'd be sucked up into it, and never come back out,
she thought gravely.

             
Her sad eyes gazed at Edda.

             
Edda felt the full force of her pain in that one look and stopped herself. “Well, I guess that's a story for another time. But I thought you should know, that is why I was chosen.”

“
Chosen?”

“
To be your Carer.”

             
Jaz eyeballed Edda searchingly. “
Who
chose you?”

“
Well, I guess people in the council have their say but, I was specifically chosen, by the Pack Leader.”

~
Chapter 18-
Advise
~

Saturday May 28
th
, 4:24 p.m. -
Garik's office

“
So that is the prodigal daughter? Hmm,” Garik mused.

“
Yes. Are you planning on meeting her anytime soon?”

             
Garik didn't turn. He had been watching his niece enter her cabin. She had gone in and Alf and Maria had left. The door was now shut, but he still watched. His office window faced north, with full view of the vegetable plots, cabins, fields, and part of the lake -most of the stream too if he stuck his head out the window. “Maybe.”

“
Garik, you've barely shown your face since your return. You've told me nothing about your visit-”

“
They're my family, it's my business.”

“
Nevertheless, I'm your Pack Leader, and I need to know everything that's going on.”

             
Garik turned to face Nik. “Well, it's a shame you're not telepathic then, isn't it?”

             
Nik regarded him sternly. “I hope, you didn't upset them.”

             
Garik scoffed. Nik glared at him. Garik became serious and sighed. “I told them that we had Jaz.”

“
That sounds like a ransom note.” Garik was about to protest when Nik cut in. “What else?”

“
They were upset to say the least.”

“
I'm sure you were very sensitive about it,” Nik said, in a way that you were never sure if he was being serious or just plain sarcastic.

             
Garik eyed him uncertainly. “It wasn't all hugs and kisses, but
I'm
fine, thanks for asking,” he retorted, adding enough sarcasm for the both of them.

             
Nik's lips twitched up in a momentary smile, then disappeared without a trace. “I realize it must have been hard for you. And I know that's why you've been avoiding her-”

“
I haven't been-”

“
-but you'll have to meet her, sooner rather than later.”

“
Is that an order?” Garik asked sardonically. He wasn't disloyal, just very stubborn and hotheaded.

“
No. More like friendly advice.” Nik turned ready to head for the door. Garik calling his name stopped him. He looked back at him, one hand resting on the doorframe.

“
How is she?”

             
Nik regarded him for a moment. “She's well, considering. But it will take time for her to process all this.”

             
Garik nodded. “It will get harder for her if the Change doesn't start soon.”

             
Nik studied Garik with a faint smile replying, “But she has people around who care about her, right?” Garik stared intently at Nik.“We'll just have to wait it out till then.”

             
Garik scowled. “She's my niece, my blood. She
will
Change make no mistake about that, and she'll do it in her own damn time,” he snapped.

“
I don't doubt it. Believe me.” And with that, he left the office, and Garik with a puzzled look on his face.

             
Then Garik's face lit up when he understood and slapped his head for not realizing it sooner.

~
Chapter 19-
Discover~

Saturday May 28
th
, 5:05 p.m. - 
Cabin no2

             
From the moment Jaz was in her new bedroom she sat on the bed and began reading her dead sister's diary.

             
It was upsetting and eerie to read the words of a dead person. Especially when she wrote about a baby that had felt like Jaz's. That she'd grieved for when she'd 'lost' it. Now she knew for sure the baby in the nightmare had been Lora's. And for some very terrifying yet strangely comforting reason, she and Jaz had been bound together during her sister's last breaths.

             
She'd first scanned to the last page Lora had written. It was full of worry, excitement and suspicion.

Fri,　Jan　15th,　2010
.

            
 
I have an odd feeling. You know that feeling you get when the hairs on the back of your neck stand on end? Like something is very, very wrong? That's the best way I can describe how I feel right now.

             
I know I've been going through all these difficulties with Fraya

             
Jaz frowned.

Who's Fraya?

            
 
but I have a feeling that something bad might be about to happen.

             
She's always been offensive and rude towards me. Always giving me grief. But she's suddenly changed, as if she's waiting for something. Like today, she's given me the same look. It's unnerving.

             
I've seen it before, in a film or on TV perhaps.

             
All it reminds me of is the look someone gives their enemy when they have a plan brewing and it's beginning to come to fruition.

             
She's always been jealous of me. She's always wanted what I have. And she hates that I got it so easily when she's struggled and still hasn't succeeded. She even lost her mate. I feel for her, I felt for her more before than I do now, but after all this shit and stress she's put me through, I can't defend her reasons anymore.

             
She's always wanted Nik. But he's mine.

“Nik.” Jaz frowned at the name on the lined paper. “Nik?” She'd never heard of anyone called Nik. But he had obviously been very close to Lora.

Maybe he was the father? Maria never said though...
Jaz frowned at that realization.
And this Fraya had been jealous of her?

             
That made her gut turn cold. Something was very wrong about this. She knew what her fear was trying to say but she shut the thought out. “No.”

             
She noticed that Lora was much more mature than Jaz. She had a grown-up, eloquent way of writing. And she didn't swear as much. Jaz felt a little embarrassed about that.

             
She thought about her sister's last words.

            
 
But he's mine
.
 

             
Lora was strong-willed, defiant and it sounded as if she spoke with absolute conviction. Jaz suddenly felt low. She wished she could feel that way about someone. And that they would feel the same for her. And it made her even more upset that Lora had lost all that love so tragically.

             
Another thing she realized with a gasp, was the date of the last entry. It was the night before Jaz's nightmare. It confirmed everything she knew was impossible and yet it had really happened. When Lora had been dying, when she'd lost her baby, Jaz had been there not physically but in spirit or the nearest thing to it. Jaz wondered what would have happened if she had been awake at the time. Would it have flashed in front of her eyes like a hallucination?

             
She remembered the sudden image of the terrifying dark face when she'd been standing inside the public toilets at the petrol station and shivered. That day felt like a millennium ago.

It was the last time I'd spoken to Lisa,
she recalled, and pain seared through her chest. She had to ask Maria or Driver again to allow her to speak to her family and friends. She'd beg if she had to.

             
She snapped out of her thoughts and continued to flick through pages, starting from the first entry,  scanning for Nik's name.

             
The first entry dated from two months before Lora found out she was pregnant. May 23
rd
2010.

             
There were lots of mention of Fraya, two girls called Sunhild and Kenna. Another called Kelda who Jaz found out was Kenna's younger sister. There was no mention of ages. Jaz guessed there was another diary somewhere with more information on the people at Deer Creek. Lora had obviously been there long enough before this diary to write who was who.

             
Edda was also mentioned. She hadn't been Lora's trainer and that surprised Jaz.

             
There were other names mentioned too but she didn't take the time to read much about them. Garik her uncle, who she still hadn't met and didn't care to meet either. Arik who sounded like a pretty important guy.

Maybe he's the Pack Leader?
She wondered.

             
When Edda had said she had been chosen to be her Carer by the Pack Leader, Jaz had been too stunned by the term to ask who it was.

             
After all the books she'd read -Charlaine Harris, Kelley Armstrong to name a few- she associated the term with werewolves. That horrified her beyond belief. She'd then silently laughed it off as she'd gotten up to put her plate in the sink and thought,
Oh come
on
, werewolves? Seriously? If I'm a werewolf then pigs fly.
She'd eyed the sky out the window momentarily before blinking and shaking her head at her stupidity.

             
She reminded herself to find out who this 'Pack Leader' was later.

             
In Lora's diary, there was a lot about Nik. Some pages she scanned over, blushing. She thought it would be disrespectful to read all the intimate moments between her sister and her lover. And he
was
her lover. There was no doubt about that.

             
She raised a brow then focused on the page she'd been reading, realizing it was a pretty detailed account of sex between them. She slammed the book shut looking back at the closed door as if she'd been caught doing something very naughty and then giggled quietly to herself with her hand clamped on her mouth. When she'd gained her composure, she brushed her fingers through her hair and blew air out her cheeks. She hugged her knees to her chest and glanced to her side at the blue book.

             
Just then, Edda called her for dinner. Jaz furrowed her brow, peering up at the pastel green wall clock to her right. It was already six o'clock. She slid off the bed, tucked the book under the mattress and sauntered left down the hallway, through the doorway into the kitchen.

             
The smell of blood and meat nearly choked her. It was revolting and mouth-watering. She was getting sick of the double feelings.

             
The primal side that she'd only recently been introduced to, was threatening to unleash itself. She forced herself to hold still. Not seeing the kitchen or Edda as she placed the food down in front of her on the breakfast bar.

             
She held her breath, then slowly, very slowly, breathed in. Then out. Then in. She let the scent pour into her nostrils. It entered her lungs and then escaped again. She could feel the monster inside being slowly chained up. She held it there, daring it to break free. It snarled inside of her. She blanched but knew it was a part of her and she needed to control it. For now, she was safe.

             
Edda had been watching her from the corner of her eye. Jaz now looked up at her as she stood reluctantly behind her bar stool. “Well, come sit.” Edda encouraged as she opened her hand out to the food.

             
It was then Jaz observed the sight of it for the first time. There were two plates piled high with steaks 'cooked' rare. It was still bloody and pink. Jaz had a mental image of it getting up and jumping off the plate. She nearly burst into another fit of giggles. On top of her sordid reading, the strong meaty smell and her tightly wound control made her feel giddy and lightheaded.

             
She sat down on the bar stool before she fell down, staring with wide eyes at the tower of meat. There was an oven dish with roast potatoes, another bowl with green beans and peas, and another with carrots and parsnips. Now, it smelt sensational.

             
But if Edda expected her to eat all of it, she was dreaming.

             
“Are we expecting the whole village for dinner?” Jaz asked with a raised eyebrow.

             
Edda grinned.“Funny.”

“
You can't expect me to eat all that? My arteries will clog up before I can finish it.”

             
Edda gazed at Jaz disapprovingly though she didn't hide her amusement at her jokes. “This is what you should be having.”

“
I'll be the size of a house within a week!”

             
Edda rolled her wide brown eyes. “I've got a plan all worked out for you, starting tomorrow.”

             
Jaz frowned. “What's happening tomorrow?”

“
You'll be working hard, like the rest of us. And you'll soon have a fitness regime. Trust me, after that, you won't be worrying about putting on any weight, other than muscle.” Jaz watched her uneasily. “Now eat up, or I'll double it.”

             
Jaz obeyed and rather than scoffing it down like a part of her really wanted to, she ate slowly and chewed more times than was necessary before swallowing. It meant she felt full quicker, but she persevered.

             
When she managed to finish her monstrous portion, she leant back in her chair and held her swollen stomach. The image of her nightmare came back to her. Her belly had been swollen then, but with a lifeless child. Edda saw the change in her expression and immediately dragged her out of her dark thoughts.

“
I'm really proud of you.” Jaz looked up. Her dark green-blue eyes were sad. She smiled weakly and Edda asked, “Room for dessert?” Jaz's face lit up as she laughed. “Take that as a no?” Edda smirked.

“
Hmmm...Maybe later.”