Bear My Soul (Fire Bears Book 1) (4 page)

She’d done this.

“I think I should go,” he said in a low, gravelly voice. “This is a lot, and I’m confused. If Aaron can’t control his Changes yet, he doesn’t need to be around what’s going on inside of me.” Cody stood and turned at the porch stairs. “Don’t run this time, Rory. I won’t stop until I find you. He’s mine, too.” His eyes were hard as he descended the stairs.

Rory stood and rushed to the railing. “I’m really sorry.” Her voice was thick with emotion, but hang it. She’d had her reasons for keeping Aaron to herself. She’d wanted to keep him safe, but the hurt look on Cody’s face was heartbreaking.

“Don’t,” he gritted out. He hesitated by Aaron and squatted down, his powerful legs folding beneath him. “I’ve got some stuff to do, but I’ll see you later, okay?”

Aaron nodded, his eyes sad and the corners of his little lips turned down as if he expected to never see Cody again. Maybe he wouldn’t. Rory didn’t know. Maybe this was too much and Cody would be the one running this time. She imagined lots of surprised fathers in this situation would do the same.

“Thanks for the paperclip, buddy.” Cody squeezed Aaron’s frail shoulders with his oversize hand, then stood and left without another glance back at her.

She’d earned that—his anger.

Rory had been so focused on keeping Aaron safe she’d never considered that Cody might want to be in his life despite the animal inside of their son. She’d let all the reasons not to tell Cody pile up until it seemed like the only decision a good and protective mother could make.

But Cody was right. He’d missed all of the baby years because of her need to hide Aaron away. And the consequences of his hurt and anger were on her.

Rory wouldn’t blame him if he ran.

She deserved nothing less.

Cody fingered the tiny paperclip Aaron had given him and tried to tune out the droning weatherman on the television above the bar.

Five fucking years, and she just now came back? And with a kid—his kid. The strawberry-shaped mark on his shoulder blade was the freaking Keller crest. There was no denying Aaron was his.

He’d been sitting here for two hours trying to wrap his head around the reasons she’d kept Aaron a secret. Human or no, Rory had protective momma bear written all over her. It was clear she’d been trying to keep her boy safe in case Cody wasn’t a shifter like Aaron, but it still stung something fierce to be left out of the kid’s entire life. He’d missed everything. Every milestone. Every late night feeding and scraped knee. First steps, first words, first tooth…

Her supernatural question at the pizzeria had thrown him hard. Of all the times he’d imagined running into her again, he hadn’t ever fantasized about her asking if he was harboring a damned grizzly in his gut. He would’ve broken that little gem to her gently if she’d have stuck around long enough the first time.

He’d liked her. More than liked her, but now things were different. He’d changed in the years they’d spent apart and now wanted no part of any kind of relationship with a woman. Taking Shayna out had been a way to get Ma off his back about moving on from the broken bond with Sarah.

He tilted the bottle and took a long swig. Up to his eyeballs in women problems, and he hadn’t dated a damned one in years.

A familiar scent hit his nose, and he slid a nonplussed glare at the door where his older brother, Gage, stood. He got his height and blond hair from Ma’s side of the family, but Gage’s coffee dark eyes were all Dad’s. Cody shoved the paperclip deep in his pocket. Maybe if he ignored Gage, his brother would get the hint and shove off. He wasn’t in the mood to talk right now.

Gage took the bar seat next to him. “Shayna’s worried.”

“Yeah, I could tell from the thirty-seven calls I’ve ignored from her. Piss off, Gage. I have some shit to sort out.”

“Yeah, and you also have a forty-eight hour shift starting in the morning, and you’re at a bar drinking by yourself, which I’ve seen you do exactly zero times before now.” He jerked his chin at Cody’s beverage and told the bartender he’d “have one of those.”

Cody leaned back in the bar chair, growing more irritated by the moment. “What do you want?”

“That was her, wasn’t it? At the pizzeria. That was Rory.”

“You want a detective’s badge?”

“Ma sent me. That’s why I’m here.”

“You told Ma?” Prick.

“You can’t blame me for that one. Boone called her before we even left the restaurant. You know, the timing on this sucks.”

“You don’t know the half of it.”

“Well then explain it, brother. Because I’ve never seen you get worked up over a woman like this. Not since Sarah. And you finally asked Shayna out—”

“Hold on, now that’s not fair. Shayna’s been relentless for two years, and you boys weren’t helping. And Ma… Look, I’m not interested in another bond. I don’t get why you don’t understand that. Boone and Dade don’t want a bond, and no one gives them shit over it. But with me, you push and push until I take a girl out I’m not interested in. Even if it was a group thing, I don’t like being forced into a pairing.”

Gage thanked the bartender when he set the beer in front of him and took a long pull of his drink. “We push you because it’s different for you. You’re the alpha. You should be paired up. You’re twenty-eight now, Cody. I get that you were burned by Sarah, but fate got you out of that. Fate and Rory. You have a second chance to find someone worth the risk.”

“It’s different for you, Gage. You found Leah. Your bond has always been healthy. Both of you are devoted. Sometimes it doesn’t work like that.”

“So you’ll just go your whole life alone. I know you look down on my life. You think I’ve sold out for mating Leah and having cubs—”

“No, brother,” Cody said with a humorless laugh. He shook his head and drained the beer. “I always envied you and Leah, and the cubs. I love your family. I’ve watched you for years, wishing Sarah had been half the woman Leah was. Even half, and we could’ve worked without her shredding me. It’s not that I don’t want a family. I just never, ever want the bond again.”

“Is that why you’re torn up about Rory being back?”

Leaning forward on his elbows against the sticky bar top, Cody sighed. “I can’t have Rory.”

Gage shrugged his shoulders up to his earlobes with a baffled expression. “Why not? You could have any lady in this town. In this county, if you wanted. I didn’t see a ring on her finger tonight. I know because I looked.”

“She has a kid, Gage,” Cody blurted out. Gritting his teeth, he closed his eyes and murmured, “She had my kid.”

“Shit,” Gage murmured.

“Shit, indeed.”

“Is he marked?”

“Yeah. Same place as me even. If you saw him, you wouldn’t question it. He’s mine.”

“A boy? A son?”

The word
son
sounded strangely exciting in a way that confused the piss out of Cody. He frowned down at his beer and nodded his head.

Gage gripped his shoulder and shook him slowly. “You’re a dad?”

More fluttering in his stomach. Maybe it was nausea.
Dad.

“Wait, okay.” Gage linked his fingers behind his head and leaned back until he was staring at the ceiling with a stupid grin on his face. “Okay.”

“You said that already.”

“Shut up, man. This is blowing my mind right now. What does he look like?”

Cody snorted. “Like a Keller. Towheaded. He looks just like the pictures of me at that age.”

Gage beamed—
beamed
, the ass. Like this was anywhere close to the ideal way of becoming a father. “You marked him up good, didn’t you?”

“Are you congratulating me for my fifteen minutes of help with him? Seriously?”

“Hell yeah, I am. Being a father is… Cody, your life is about to change in the coolest ways.”

“Yeah, except you forgot one thing. I’m not with Rory. She left me out of his life completely until tonight. She didn’t come back here because she has long buried feelings for me. She came back because she needs help with Aaron.”

“Aaron,” Gage whispered, the dumb smile spreading his face like he hadn’t just heard what Cody had said.

“Forget it, man,” Cody grumbled, throwing enough cash on the bar to cover the beer and a nice tip. “I can’t talk about this with you.”

“Why not?”

“Because I need you to have my back. I need you to just listen and sympathize. I’m not like you, Gage. I’m not a family man. I just found out I have a kid. A kid. A five-year-old, intelligent, sweet kid that hasn’t needed anything from me his whole life.”

“So, you can make it up to him. Rory is here because she needs you in her son’s life, right?”

“
Our
son. Yeah.”

“I get why you feel like you can’t go after Rory, and that sucks. You can’t screw up a relationship with your kid’s mother. Especially if she’s a runner. But Aaron has a chance to thrive here with cousins his own age and a family. This isn’t the end of your life, Cody. It’s the beginning of it.”

“Krueger is back.” Just thinking of the government official that made his life a living hell, Cody fought the urge to grip the bottle until it shattered in his hands.

“What?” Gage asked, leaning forward and pitching his voice low. “How long?”

“He’s been pressing on me for two months. I think he’s prepping me for another mission or maybe another tour. I don’t know.”

“Why didn’t you tell us?”

“Because that’s the burden of the alpha sometimes, brother. He threatens exposure, threatens my family, and I do whatever he wants me to.”

Gage’s eyes rolled closed, and he rubbed his forehead. “You’re worried he’ll find out about Aaron.”

Defeated, Cody nodded. “If I pursue a relationship with my kid, I put both him and his mother in danger. And she’s human, Gage. She’s not built to survive the shit we’ve lived through. She was afraid to let me know Aaron existed because she thought I’d be a danger to him.” The words he needed to say bubbled like acid up his throat. “She’s right.”

For the last four years, Krueger had been the middle man between the Breck Crew and a government bent on using them for their unique abilities. Two tours in the war and several black ops missions Cody wasn’t allowed to talk about, and it was clear as crystal the government was just getting started with him and his brothers. Oh, they knew exactly who and what the bears of Breckenridge were. Each of the Breck Crew sported a tracker in their neck to make sure they were neatly controlled and watched by Big Brother. And now Aaron would be in the crosshairs, too.

“What is the threat this time?” Gage asked in a somber tone.

“They’re considering making us register as shifters to the public.”

“They’re going to out us?”

“Not if I do what they say. That’s the current deal, anyway.”

Gage made a single clicking sound behind his teeth and looked sick. “They won’t stop until you’re dead, Cody.”

He cracked his knuckles and stared over the glass case of fine whiskeys behind the bar. “I know.”

He’d accepted that years ago, but now he had something else to fight for besides his crew. Besides his family.

He had a son. And he couldn’t stand the thought that someday, when he was a casualty of what the agency forced him to do, Krueger would press on Aaron the same way.

Cody had definitely bowed out.

It had been two days since he’d met Aaron, and Rory hadn’t seen hide nor hair of him since.

Her boy had asked where he was, and at a loss for what to tell him, she did her best to keep him happy and distracted. Aunt Leona had helped by filling their days with fun. They’d painted pottery at a little shop at the base of the mountain, and it would be ready, fired, and usable in another couple of days when the nice lady who worked there pulled the soup bowls they’d painted out of the kiln. They’d gone on hikes and visited a dog park so Aaron could watch the puppies play. And at the river that wound right along Main Street, they’d watched the brown backs of trout as they waited for tourists to throw pellets of food down to them. Aunt Leona had even taken them on a special tour of a gold mine up the mountain where Aaron got to pan for little flakes. Ever since he’d been carrying the little vile with a smattering of tiny gold flecks inside. A trio of miniature donkeys had followed them around the mine, waiting for them to share the snacks they’d brought.

Rory felt relaxed for the first time in as long as she could remember. She’d hadn’t had a vacation or even a day to just be since Aaron had been born. It was easier here, lighter. Aunt Leona truly loved her great nephew and helped watch him so Rory could relax and look around every once in a while.

And Breckenridge was stunning in the summer. Lush greens covered everything, and in every piney wilderness they hiked through, frogs croaked and bees hummed. This had been her paradise growing up. Visiting her aunt on summer breaks from school had always been what she waited for all year. She’d gotten bogged down in her fog of worry since she’d become a mother, but now, she was reminded of just how much she loved this place. For the first time in a long time, she could enjoy Aaron’s playful spirit.

His peals of laughter were a balm to her soul and took the sting off Cody’s rejection.

But in the quiet moments, like when she was sitting on a boulder watching her son wade in the shallows of the trout river, or when she reclined on a bench as he skipped around the playground off Main Street, or right now, as she washed the dinner dishes—that’s when she thought of Cody.

Why had he acted hurt if he had no intention of seeing his son again? Why had he told her not to leave if he wasn’t going to make the effort to connect with Aaron? She’d gotten a glimpse that he cared, but maybe she’d been mistaken.

The phone rang as she rinsed a plate. Rory smiled to herself because it was probably Nina or Doris, who phoned frequently. Aaron was bathed and in his little plaid moose pajamas, ramming two trucks together on the wooden floor beside her as she cleaned up from the homemade lasagna dinner she’d made for the three of them.

“Hey,” Aunt Leona said low. “This call’s for you.”

Frowning, Rory rinsed the suds off her hands and dried them, then took the cordless landline from her aunt. “Hello?”

“Hey, it’s me.” Oh, what Cody’s voice did to her insides, all deep and husky like that.

She patted Aaron’s head, then stepped into the other room. “I thought you forgot about us.”

“Ha, no. You guys are all I can think about, actually. I’m sorry it took so long for me to get back with you. I should’ve told you. I’m on a forty-eight hour shift up at the station.”

“Station?”

“Yeah, I’m a firefighter. I do two days on, three days off. Listen, I was wondering if I could drop by after I get off in the morning. How early do you wake up?”

Rory sank down onto the bottom bunk in Aaron’s room and stared at the rails above her. “What time would I like to wake up? Noon, but Aaron wakes up with the birds.”

Cody chuckled and said, “He’s a morning person?”

“Yeah. You should hear him when he wakes up, too. There is no grumpy phase with him. He chatters on and on about any and everything. His good moods are borderline obnoxious that early,” she teased. “So, a firefighter, huh? That sounds like a dangerous profession.”

“You worried about me?”

She inhaled sharply at the turn the conversation had taken.

“Sorry,” he muttered. “This is uncharted territory for me. So…I’ve been thinking.”

“That sounds foreboding.”

“I think we should come up with some ground rules. Together. We don’t know each other very well, and now we have a kid together. Or we’ve always had a kid together, but now I have to figure out where I belong in this family, you know?”

“Family?” she whispered.

“Yeah, Rory. I’m not asking you to fall in love with me, but I think we have to form some kind of friendship in order for this to work so we can both have a relationship with Aaron and it be as easy as possible for everyone.”

“So, you want to be friends?”

“Yes. Just friends. You can date whomever you want, and I’ll do the same. It’ll take the pressure off of us.”

Date other people.
Her mind was absolutely not on dating right now, but if she was being honest, she didn’t like the thought of Cody with anyone else. Wait, what? Where had that troubling thought come from?

“Okay, you’ll continue dating that woman you were with at the pizzeria.” She could do this—be mature about having a friendship with Aaron’s father.

“Okay, now you go,” he said.

“Hmm?”

“What are your rules? I know you have them with Aaron. Lay ’em on me.”

“Oh, right. Okay, no overnight visits or alone visits until I’m comfortable.”

“You mean until you trust me,” he said in a flat voice.

“Yes. And just to be up front, I’m only staying through the rest of the week, so I might not get there on this trip.”

The other end went silent.

“Cody? Are you still there?”

“Yeah.” His voice cracked, and he cleared his throat. “I just didn’t realize you’d be taking him away so soon. Okay, but you’ll visit. How often?”

“As often as I’m able if it’ll help Aaron. And if you want the relationship. With him,” she added. “I just left my job, though, and need to find work after this week, so I don’t know how long it will be between this visit and the next one. I don’t know how much vacation time I’ll be allowed off, and we live far away. It gets expensive, and well, I don’t have much money. Not that I’m asking for any. We do fine, but it’s just been Aaron and me for a long time.”

“Where do you live?”

“Oklahoma.”

“Jesus,” he murmured, sounding a lot less happy than he had a few minutes ago. “If it’s money that is ever the problem keeping you from here, please tell me. I’ll take care of it.”

“I don’t feel right about that.”

“You don’t have to feel right about it, Rory. Aaron is my kid, too, and I haven’t paid for anything his whole life. If you ever need help, tell me, and I’ll take care of you. I mean…you, as in both of you. Geez, I’ve been thinking about this conversation for two days, and I meant to be smoother about it.”

Her eyebrows wrenched up as she pursed her lips. Cody was about seven levels out of her league, and he was nervous about talking to her? “I think you are being very smooth.”

“You’re teasing me.”

“We’re friends, right? Teasing comes along with the territory.”

He inhaled deeply across the line. “I get off at seven in the morning. Can I take you and Aaron out for breakfast? There’s this donut place on the main strip that serves giant pancakes. I don’t want to put too much on you too fast, but my family wants to meet you and Aaron.”

“Your family?” Nervous flutters filled her stomach, and she rolled to her side on the bed. “Tomorrow?”

“If I don’t let them meet you, my Ma will be up at your aunt’s house begging a visit with her grandson. She’s been like a dog on a bone since you blew into town.”

“Whoa, I just realized Aaron has a grandma. That’s crazy.”

“Are your parents not in the picture?”

“Umm.” None of her wanted to have this conversation now, or ever, really.

“It’s okay if you don’t want to talk about it.”

“I don’t. Not yet,” she said softly, grateful that he was giving her an out. A subject change was best. “So, are you at the fire station right now?”

“Yeah. We have our own bedrooms up here. Nothing fancy, just a small room with a bed, closet, and an outlet to charge my phone. Which reminds me. Most of the time, we stay pretty busy up here, but if you need me, try to call my cell. If I don’t pick up right away, I’ll call you back as soon as I can. I mean, if Aaron is Changing and you need help, or if you just want to talk. About Aaron. Or anything. Just call.” He cleared his throat again. “Is the boy still up?”

“Yeah. His bath time is around eight every night. Aunt Leona bought him these red and black plaid long-john pajamas that say
Moose Caboose
on the little butt-flap. They’re so cute, it’s ridiculous.” God, the longer she talked to Cody, the easier this felt. It was nice to share this stuff with someone who didn’t just have to
ooh
and
aah
out of politeness, but with a person who actually had a stake in her son’s life.

“Would you mind if I talk to him for a minute?”

Cody sounded so shy asking that question, it melted her heart into a little puddle. “Yeah,” she said, a little choked up. “Let me go get him.”

Back in the kitchen, she handed Aaron the phone, and his eyes lit up like firecrackers when she told him it was Cody. She couldn’t hear the other side of the conversation, but the minute Cody had asked for turned into lots of minutes as Aaron told him all about the adventures they’d been on over the past two days. It was cute to hear his take on it. His stories tended to circle back to a frog he almost caught, and she giggled frequently as she led him into the bedroom and tucked him in while he chattered away.

“Can you sing me a lullaby? Mommy’s tucking me in, and she always sings. But yesterday, Aunt Leona sang about pretty little horsies, and when I asked her if you liked to sing, she said she bet you had a sessy voice.”

Rory’s eyes bugged out of her head, and she covered the accidental grin with the back of her hand and tried not to snort-giggle. Cody talked for a minute longer while Rory kissed Aaron’s forehead and flipped off the light. And when her boy grew quiet and his eyes heavy, she tiptoed back over to the bottom bunk and pressed her ear near the phone.

Cody was singing “Enter Sandman” by Metallica in a soft, deep voice. Oh, dear lord, that wasn’t at all appropriate as a lullaby, but it was putting Aaron right to sleep. And as she listened with her head resting against the pillow near her son’s, it struck her that the song choice seemed so…Cody. He was new to this dad thing, but it was sexy as hell that he didn’t balk against singing a lullaby to his boy. He was a rough and tumble firefighter, up at the station, and probably in a room right next to the other men and women who worked there, but he was totally cool with singing into the phone.

“Aaron?” Cody asked in a voice as soft as a breeze.

“He’s asleep,” Rory whispered, plucking the phone from Aaron’s little hand.

“Ooh,” Cody groaned. “Did you hear that?”

She kissed Aaron on the tip of his tiny nose and padded out of the room. “Aunt Leona was right. You do have a sessy voice.”

“Shut it,” he said, a smile in his tone. “I thought I was singing to a five-year-old audience. Don’t tell anyone I did that, or I’ll deny it forever.”

“Aw, you’re just a mushy teddy bear in a gym rat’s body.”

Cody laughed a deep, booming sound, and she imagined him staring at the ceiling of his tiny station room. She stepped onto the front porch and sank into a rocking chair.

“Do you want to pick us up tomorrow morning, or do you want us to meet you at the restaurant?”

“If you’re okay dealing with the big family meeting, I owe you a ride. Is seven too early? I can tell them to meet later if you want.”

“No, that’s fine.” She swallowed hard as she stared at the stars dotting the clear night sky. “I’m nervous.”

“Why?”

“I don’t want to screw this up. What you said about us being a family earlier—that sounded nice. I mean, I know it’s not a real family, because we aren’t together like that, but I like that we are going to try to be friends, for Aaron. It’s a relief to not feel so alone in all of this. Ugh, sorry. I let this get too heavy.”

“I don’t mind heavy, Rory. I like when you’re honest. And I’m glad you came here and told me about him. It must’ve been really hard raising him on your own, especially if his little bear is out of control.”

“Do you think you can help him?”

“I know I can. Everything is going to be fine. I promise.”

Cody sounded so sure of his oath a huge weight lifted from her chest. Finally, she could breathe easy and not fear the future. If what he said was true, Aaron could be okay. He could lead a normal life, like Cody seemed to be doing.

“I’ll see you in the morning, Rory,” he said in that low voice of his.

“Okay. G’night, Cody.”

When she hung up the phone, she touched her lips as if she’d just been kissed. He’d sung her son to sleep and made her feel safe for the first time in a long time.