“
Babe, what do you think?”
I glance at him and smile at his choices and mostly say stuff like
“Oh gorgeous. Beautiful. Really sexy.” But I’m actually picturing
Lucas in them. I’m so going to Hell. Then we eat at the food court
and he asks what’s new. Seriously? He doesn’t want to know. I just
tell him how excited I am about the party and hanging out with him,
oh and the whole drug issue with Sarah.
“
Why didn’t you tell her
the truth?” He asks as he’s chowing down on Chinese food. I’m not a
big fan.
“
Well, because no matter
what I say she’s convinced I’m this horrible shitty sister and I
guess I will continue to let her think that. It’s not worth it,
she’s always right.”
“
That’s bull shit! But I
guess one thing’s true, once she has her mind set there’s no
changing it.” So true. We leave the mall, finally after he’s got a
few outfits. It’s almost time for the party and I go home to
change.
“
Ugh, I really hate you
right now.” Sarah announces at the doorway of the bathroom as I’m
applying my makeup.
“
I’m sorry to hear
that.”
“
Whatever. Have fun at
your party.” She storms off and slams her bedroom door. She is so
dramatic.
“
Come on, it’s time to go.
We’ve got to pick up Brooke.” I put the last touches on my makeup
and smooth down my hands over my silky skirt. Satisfied, I grab my
purse and give a quick peck on my mother’s cheek.
“
Have fun sweetheart. Oh
you look lovely. You kids be careful.” I wave to her and head out
the door.
Chapter 10
We pull up in front of a house that sits
atop a hill. It only takes 30 minutes to get here but we go through
the country side and mountains. I marvel at the scenery. It’s so
breathtaking. We get out of the car and I stare at the view before
me. The house is of Victorian style, gated with a beautiful yard
and a wrap around porch. Jesus, these people must be loaded. But
what catches my eye is the view overlooking the mountains. I almost
stop breathing.
“
OH. MY GOD.” Brady stops
next to me, also speechless.
“
Wow, this is gorgeous!
How I wish I’d lived here.” Brooke is the only one with words. We
walk to the porch through the gate. I have the feeling the security
system is shut off for this occasion, it let us right in. Brady
knocks on the door. We stand there and wait for someone to open it.
I’m feeling giddy, ready for a few drinks. Finally, the door swings
open and a very drunk Eric is standing on the other side of
it.
“
Hey guysssss!” He drags
out the word slurring.
“
Hey Eric.” I say. He
gives me a once over. “Damn man, Abby you’re hot!” I push past him
into the house. “And you’re drunk Eric!” I hear him tell Brady
“Dude, you’re a lucky bastard.” They laugh and Brady comes up,
grabbing my hand as we weave through a bunch of people. The place
is immaculate and there are too many stories to count. The music is
blaring and I can hardly hear myself think. I’m just ready for that
alcohol. We reach the kitchen where people are hanging out dancing
on the tables like they’re at a strip club. Not that I know what
that’s like but according to movies it looks pretty degrading. I
hope I’m not into that when I’m older.
“
Hey I’m gonna go off and
look for some people I might recognize. I’ll catch you guys later.”
Brooke turns to walk into the living room. I nod and take a beer
out of the fridge. I pop the top off and take a swig, enjoying the
taste as it goes down my very dry throat. Brady grabs one as well
and chugs it like a pro. I never understood how people could chug
it down so fast. It would probably burn my throat. I only like beer
for the buzz but I don’t drink often. Not lately, at
least.
I used to have beers with Lucas every once
in awhile down by the river. His dad was an alcoholic and had
alcohol in the house all the time. I tried my first beer in his
garage when I was 9. I just wanted to know what the fuss was about.
His dad caught us and we didn’t get in trouble. But it was safe to
say that I gagged on the stuff. When we were 13, we would sneak
some beer in a duffle bag along with food for a picnic and take it
to the river. He never noticed some of his beer was missing because
he always bought so much, or he would think he drank it and just
get more. His mom divorced his dad shortly after and kicked him out
as soon as she realized his bad influence on their kids, and poor
examples. She remarried a couple years later to her high school
sweetheart. They are very happy. They’ve got 4 kids altogether,
Lucas and his younger brother Josh and sister Jessica plus his
older stepbrother Ashton. I’m happy his mom found Mark. He’s a
great father and pretty successful too.
I always wished I had that kind of stabiliy;
my family is so screwed up. I sometimes wish I lived someone else’s
life. It dawned on me that I hadn’t really thought of Lucas as much
lately, since the day he wanted me to go to the river with him.
Yeah, I’ve been avoiding him. But now I suddenly wished he was
here.
“
Hey, wanna go outside and
get some fresh air?” I briefly nod and follow Brady out the back.
There’s an in ground pool with a lot of people swimming and
drinking. Looks like fun, though mix a swimming pool and alcohol,
it could get pretty dangerous. I walk around to look at all the
flowers that are planted in the garden. I inhale the scents and
imagine I’m in another place. I’m with Lucas on the beach in Hawaii
and we are lying on a blanket having a picnic, talking about our
deepest secrets and planning our future. He’s caressing my bare
skin on my stomach and we’re laughing. I start smiling
wide.
“
Uh, Abby wanna tell me
why you’ve got such a goofy grin on your face?” My fantasy gets
interrupted by Brady and he looks curious. My smile disappears and
anxiety sets in. I want to get away, by myself and clear my head.
Mostly I want another beer. “Hey, I’m going to the bathroom then
get another beer. I will be back in a few minutes.” He starts
walking with me as if it was an invitation for him to tag along. I
turn around and look at him. “Hey, can I go alone? I will come
right back. I just need a minute by myself.” A crestfallen look
flashes across his face and my heart sinks. I don’t like hurting
Brady. He doesn’t deserve it, and part of me wants to give in and
let him come with me. But I don’t.
“
I’m sorry; I just need a
minute to myself. I think the alcohol is making me feel a little
sick. I will be back as soon as I can.” Lie. Total lie, the alcohol
has nothing to do with it. It’s my selfish desires of wanting
something I can’t have, and I want to throw myself a pity party. He
gives me a kiss on the cheek and I turn to go inside.
“
Heeeeeey ABBY!” Yeah,
Brooke is hammered alright and dancing with some guy from our
school. She runs over to me, stumbling over her own feet. I try to
suppress a laugh. It’s not often I find my best friend in this
drunken state. I catch her before she falls and as she reaches me,
I catch a whiff of her breath, and yes it smells very bitter. “Good
God, how much have you had to drink Brooke?” She laughs and shrugs
her shoulders not answering the question.
“
Hey, I will take care of
her. I’m Matt. We have Chemistry together so I’m not some stranger
just trying to get into her pants.” I look him up and down and
realize he’s being sincere but I give him a skeptical look before
handing her over to him. “Okay, please take good care of her. I
will be back to check on her in a little bit.” He nods as I hand
her over to Matt, and he escorts her to the couch. “I love you
Abby!!! I love you! I do! And I know you love Lucas and he loves
you!” I gasp and gesture for her to shut up before she draws
attention to us.
“
Shhhh! Brooke, that’s
enough!” I say in a hushed tone so she can only hear. Finally, Matt
gets her attention and distracts her so I leave. I walk back into
the kitchen and open the fridge and grab a beer. I walk through the
hall and into the bathroom, shutting the door behind me. I let out
a big breath and glance at my reflection. I will myself to get
through this evening with no qualms. I sit down on the toilet seat
for a minute trying to collect my thoughts. I close my eyes while I
take another drink. I hear a knock on the door telling me it’s time
to get out so others can use the bathroom. I get up and quickly
splash water on my face, feeling slightly better.
You can do this Abby
I take a deep breath, open the door and
sidestep the door knocker. I walk out to the back, where Brady is
still waiting for me. He looks up, relieved to see me. “Hey. Sorry
it took so long. Brooke is pretty drunk and she’s being taken care
of, I think.” Brady takes my hand.
“
No problem.” Then he says
“Really? I’ve never seen Brooke drunk. It makes me curious as to
what that version of her is like.” I laugh and then remember her
revealing my secrets to anyone, who could have heard, if they
weren’t drunk. “Yeah, she’s a bit crazy and wild. She was dancing
with Matt, who is taking care of her. He seems
trustworthy.”
He gets up and walks away, then looks back,
when he realizes I don’t follow. “Well? Let’s go check on her. I
need another beer anyway.” I reluctantly follow. I am hoping she’s
off somewhere with her hero. I don’t feel like hearing her shout
those words to me while Brady is around. We look around for Brooke
but don’t see her anywhere. Brady grabs another beer and walks off,
continuing to search for her. I look in the first living room, as
I’m getting frantic. Hoping I wasn’t wrong about Matt in that he
didn’t just want to take advantage of Brooke in her drunken stupor.
I turn around and see Matt walking out of the bathroom, with a very
drunk Brooke. I walk up to her, grabbing her face and looking in
her eyes.
“
Hey, are you okay?
Brooke, look at me. Do you need to go home?” She looks at me and
puts her hand over my face. Matt has a protective hold of
her.
“
Where were you? I was
looking for you to check on her.”
“
Sorry, she wasn’t feeling
so well. So I took her to the bathroom where she puked for about 15
minutes. I think I’m gonna take her home.” I am both surprised and
relieved. It is one less person I have to keep an eye on. I am also
grateful that he wants to help her. He seems really nice and I
think he’d be a good match for her. I toss the thoughts aside and
look at Brooke. Now’s not the time for match making.
“
Hey, Matt is going to
take you home okay? You get home and go to sleep. I will call you
tomorrow. Do you hear me?” She smiles wide.
“
I love you Abby, you know
that? You’re my bestessst friend.”
“
I love you too. But you
need to go home and lay down. I will talk to you tomorrow.” I turn
to Matt. “Thank you so much for looking after her. Call me if you
need anything.” I give him my number. “I love you Brooke, now go
home.”
“
It’s no problem Abby. I
was getting tired anyway, glad I could help.” Brady walks up to us.
“What’s going on?” He looks from Matt to me then at
Brooke.
“
Matt is going to take
Brooke home. She’s been puking and he offered.”
“
No we can take her.” He
tries to take her out of Matt’s grasp but I interfere.
“
No, Matt is fine with it.
And I’m not ready to go home yet.” He cocks his head to the side in
question.
“
Yeah, it’s really no
trouble. I was going to leave anyway. I will get her home safe.”
Brady let’s go of Brooke and steps back.
“
Okay man thank you. Be
sure you get her home in one piece. Call me if you need us.” Matt
nods and leaves. I sit down on the couch, taking a sip of my
beer.
Brady walks over to me and plops down next
to me. “You okay?” He asks me.
“
Yeah, why?”
“
You just seem distracted
tonight.” A guilty feeling settles in my stomach and I lay my head
on his shoulder, wishing I could cry. I realize I have been so
selfish. I love Brady but I don’t think I’m in love with him. As
much as I want to believe I do, my heart was given away a long time
ago and I never got it back.
So, in reality I don’t reciprocate his love
the way he deserves. I wish I could run away from here, as far as I
can. A few of the guys from the football team walk over to us and
approach Brady. “Hey we’re going to play some pool, you game?”
Derrick asks.
Brady looks at me, asking permission with
his eyes. “Yeah, go ahead. I’m going to explore the house a bit. Go
have fun. We’ll meet up in a bit.” He kisses me on my lips. I lean
into him and then quickly pull away feeling slightly
uncomfortable.
“
Thank you babe. I love
you.” He follows the guys into the game room and I’m left sitting
on the couch alone. It’s a nice feeling.
I pat my knees like a drum, looking around
at all the people drunk and actin’ like fools. I stand and walk up
to the staircase, to explore the second story. There are a slew of
people playing games and dancing, much like the first floor. I nod
to those I recognize as I pass by. I accidentally bump into someone
while heading for the den with the giant television. “Oh I’m
sorry.” I notice its Chelsea and she hugs me.
“
Hey Abby. I didn’t know
you were here. I’m just about to go downstairs for more alcohol and
go swimming. Wanna come with?”
“
Oh no thanks. I’m
actually just checking this place out while Brady is playing pool
with the guys. I’ll catch ya later maybe. Have fun.” She says bye
and goes downstairs.