B00VQNYV1Y (R) (7 page)

“It’s a penis, Luke, not a poisonous snake.”

He laughed in spite of himself. “You’re going to get sore. And I don’t have another condom.”

“I have condoms,” she said, waving her hand, still in his grasp.

He fought against a wave of rage that moved through him. “You do, huh?”

“Well, yes, Luke, I was a virgin, not a moron. I wanted to have sex so I bought condoms. Safety first.”

The idea that she’d bought condoms to use with some guy…some
random guy
…some random guy that
wasn’t
him
, made him want to smash glass and flip tables.

She would have used them with another man. And the thought hit him somewhere down deeper than just his desire to protect her.

“Well, trust me. You can’t just…you’re going to…I don’t want to hurt you.” He meant that in every way.

“Did I sound like I was hurt?” She stretched like a cat then, raising her arms up over her head, digging her heels down into the mattress, and he was powerless to do anything but stare at her. At the curve of her breasts, her slim waist, her slightly rounded stomach and perfectly curved hips…

She was beautiful. He hadn’t realized just how beautiful until now. If only because he’d never realized how deep beautiful could go. She was his friend. Someone he was comfortable with. If he had to make a list of people he’d choose to spend his last days on earth with, she’d be on it. And she was pretty. Mel was always pretty. Nice to look at, nice to be around.

Added to that, he liked naked women. In just about every shape from hourglass to pear and various body types in between.

But this was still more. Still different.

This was all that prettiness, all that-I’d-spend-the-last-day-with-you companionship, with added nakedness and hell if he knew what to do with that. Except keep staring.

“Oh,” she said, pushing into a sitting position. “Oh. Dear Lord.” She covered her mouth, her pale blue eyes going wide with horror.

Oh no. He’d hurt her. She regretted it already.

“We had sex on my grandma’s quilt.”

“What?” he asked.

“My grandmother’s handmade quilt. You took my virginity on it!”

He was so shocked that a crack of laughter escaped him. “Um. Yeah, I guess I did.”

“Oh, she would be so disappointed.”

“Well, maybe don’t call her up at the nursing home and announce it,” he said.

“She’s frail, Luke. And old.”

“Well, she’s old. Frail? Not so much.”

“If she knew that nice Shuller boy
deflowered
her granddaughter on a quilt she stitched together with her arthritic hands…”

“I would bet she figures you were long ago deflowered. If she thinks of it at all.”

“I bet not,” Melanie said. “She always wanted me to steer clear of men. Or, at least wanted me to make sure I had my shit together before I ever touched one.”

“And do you?”

“What?”

“Have your shit together?”

Mel blinked. “I don’t know. But it doesn’t matter. I’m not looking for a relationship.”

He ignored the strange, sinking sensation in his gut that felt like some strange mutant hybrid of disappointment and relief.

“You aren’t?”

“No. Are you kidding me? Why would I want…”

“You said you wanted to date,” he said.

“Yeah. And get rid of my virginity. Which was the main thing. But I want something casual. I just…” She rolled onto her side, her blonde hair spilling over her breasts, blocking them from his view, dammit. “My mom threw everything away, put herself, her child, in danger. I can’t…I don’t ever want to be blind like that. I don’t know if I ever want to get married or have kids or any of that. But I had to get through this before I could ever know. I had to get past the brick wall. Which, in this case was the virginity.”

His chest tightened. Her bastard of a father sure had a lot to answer for. “You would never do that,” he said. “You would never be that way.”

“Really? I’m sure my mom never thought she’d be that either.”

“I wouldn’t let you, first of all,” he said. “If some bastard ever hit you…if you were with a guy and he didn’t treat you…I would kill him.
Actually
kill him, not just wish I could kill him like I wish I could kill Beckett.”

“Poor Beckett,” Melanie said.

“Why poor Beckett? I’m the one suffering irreparable emotional trauma from his actions.”

“Um. Are
you
pregnant with his baby, Luke?”

He frowned. “You’re being ridiculous.”

“And so are you. Naked and,” she said, waving her hand, “ridiculous. And you’ve spurned my advances. So…double ridiculous.”

“We didn’t discuss what would happen after the first time,” he said.

Hearing his own words, his voice, all moderated and careful after they’d done something so careless and passionate…he wanted to punch himself in the face. He was a prick.

She rolled out of bed, bending down, hunting for her clothes. “I would rather you didn’t make such an effort to ruin this, Luke.”

“I’m not trying to ruin this. I’m just saying…”
You didn’t think it through, asshole. You just wanted her and took her and lied to yourself so you could finally give into your lust.
“I don’t—”

“Want me to get hurt. Right?”

“Would you rather I did?”

“No!” She bent and picked up her T-shirt, pulling it on with no bra beneath it. “Grr. You asshole.”

“Do you think random-ass cowboy would have called you the next day? Do you think you would have had more than one time with him?”

“No,” she said, the word cutting. “But I didn’t sleep with him. I slept with you. So excuse me for expecting better.” She tugged her jeans on, sans panties, and stormed out of the bedroom, slamming the door closed behind her.

Luke let out a heavy sigh.

He’d fucked up. No doubt about it. And he didn’t have the luxury of fucking up right now. There was too much going on. With Beckett being a thief, also the father to Luke’s first niece or nephew…

Yeah, he had quite enough on his plate without adding a heaping helping of Ruin The Only Other Friendship He Had to his plate.

But he had.

He lay back on the quilt, Grandma Mina’s quilt, that had never before known sex on its hallowed surface, and closed his eyes.

Damage control. He had to do damage control.

If only he could figure out what kind of Band-Aid you could possibly apply to a wound this big.

*

S
HE HAD THREE
different kinds of cake in the oven, one batch of frosting completed, and a salted caramel butter cream getting beaten in her upright mixer. But baking had not brought the clarity, or the peace of mind it often did.

Probably because she’d fundamentally altered the molecular structure of her body earlier. It had been an hour since she and Luke had made love. A whole hour of lost virginity.

She didn’t feel enlightened. She felt—damn him for being right—sore in places she’d never before had to contend with soreness, gritty-eyed, and emotionally deflated.

She needed to talk to her best friend. But she couldn’t talk to her best friend. Because he was the one who had done this to her.

And all she could really do was be mad at herself because she’d wanted him too.

Luke had been holed up in the bedroom since Hymenpocalypse. Probably for the best, because she either would have cried on him or tried to seduce him again and really, she shouldn’t do either.

She had to let things go back to normal. He was right. The guy from the bar wouldn’t have called her after. It would have been a one night stand. So she had to be content with letting this be a one afternoon stand.

It was good, at least. Luke had been everything. Everything and more.

Of course, that was what made the idea of it being only one time sting so badly. It had been…so good. It would haunt her dreams. And she didn’t have time to have her damn dreams haunted because she had wedding cakes to bake.

She walked over to the mixer and resolutely shut it off, dipping a spoon into the rich, creamy mixture and taking a big bite.

“I see you’ve been busy while I’ve been in there staring at a spot on the ceiling.”

She turned, frosting spoon still shoved deep in her mouth, and came face to face with Luke. “Hi,” she said, speaking around the silverware.

“Hi.” He shoved his hands in his pockets, and the muscles on his forearms gave her an illicit little show.

He’s turned you into a perv.

She slipped the spoon between her lips, licking it clean. “Did you find the answers to life’s questions up there somewhere?”

“No. Just justification for what I’m about to say.”

She blinked. “Okay.”

“I think we should keep having sex.”

*

H
E HADN’T MEANT
to say that. Not like that. Not so abruptly. He’d meant to kind of intro it with solid reasoning. Because there was solid reasoning. At least, he’d thought there was. Now it was a little hazy, completely obscured by thoughts of getting her naked again.

But this much he knew. He would be in Marietta until things with Beckett and Kaitlin were sorted, until he was sure everything would be okay, and his parents were going to send Kaitlin to a convent. And he couldn’t just ignore Melanie while he was here. Not after that. Maybe, though it was a big maybe, if you were going back to Bozeman immediately he could be one and done. They could get the distance they needed without either of them having to ignore the other really.

But he would be here. That changed things. At least, in his orgasm-addled brain it changed things.

“Like… Right now?” She bit her lip and looked toward her oven. “Because I have a cake baking.”

“No, not right now.” Though, his body wouldn’t say no.

“So just… Future sex. There will be… Sex… Between us… In the future.”

“If you want to. You seemed not that happy about it being once.”

“I’m torn, Luke.” She slammed her hands on the counter. “Because I don’t really like feeling as though the sex is something you’re benevolently bestowing upon me for my betterment.”

“If you think that, you were not paying attention.”

“Or, I’m a little inexperienced.”

Luke pushed his hands back through his hair. “I know. Mel…”

“No, I need to tell you this. I want you. I have wanted you. I’ve wanted you for a decent amount of time. Or, indecent amount of time depending on how you look at it. But it never seemed like something worth risking our friendship for. It still isn’t. So, if it’s going to be a problem we should stop.”

He let the impact of her words settle over him. “You want me?”

She blinked. “If you have a question about that
you
weren’t paying attention.”

“I meant before this.”

“You dumbass,” she exploded. “Did you really not know?”

“No.” He could tell by the subtle shift in her expression that went from dark to stormy, that that had been the wrong answer.

“So you didn’t… At the wedding…”

“The wedding?”

“This is perfect. This is just perfect,” she said, rubbing her forehead with her palm. “You didn’t ignore my advances, you just didn’t notice them.”

He knew exactly what moment she was talking about. That moment outside the reception venue. She’d looked at him, and he’d felt a band of tension stretch tight between them. He’d been tempted then. To lean in, taste her lips. He chalked it up to insanity. The insanity of his younger sister getting married, of moonlight, and too much beer and whatever else he could blame.

“If you were hitting on me, you did a pretty bad job of it,” he said.

Her eyebrows only dipped further, her expression getting angrier. “If you’re trying to get yourself out of trouble, you’re doing a damn bad job.”

“I didn’t realize… I realized
something
. Just not…I just…I wanted to kiss you.”

“You…” She blinked. “You wanted to kiss me?”

“Yes. I wanted to kiss you. More than that, I didn’t stop thinking about kissing you between that moment and earlier today when I actually did. Actually, that’s a lie, because I’m still thinking about it. It’s just that now I’ve done it too.”

“Then why did you sleep with that other woman?” Her words hit him like a slap to the face. “Don’t think I didn’t notice her leaving your place.”

“I didn’t.” He sighed heavily, knowing that even the explanation of everything that happened wouldn’t make him look like a knight in shining armor. But that was the thing. There were only a couple areas of his life where he rescued people. Where he kept perfect control, and served others, and did things for the greater good. Then there was his life. His personal life. Which was frankly, a much bigger mess than that.

“You didn’t sleep with her?” She crossed her arms, arching her brow. “Then why was she leaving your place?”

“Because. I took her home, we were both drunk. I didn’t… I couldn’t… Things weren’t. Anyway, I didn’t do it.”

Her brows shot upward. “You…couldn’t?”

“Yes. Couldn’t. Perform…” His throat felt dry and scratchy, “Sexually or whatever.”

“Are you…saying you tried to give the lady softserve, Shuller?” Her gaze dropped to the front of his jeans.

He gritted his teeth. “It didn’t get that far. But let’s just say it’s a testament to how much I didn’t want her.”

“Oh my gosh.” Her eyes rounded. “You couldn’t get it up?”

He growled. “Because I wanted
you
, you silly little virgin.”

“I’m not a virgin.” She was looking at him with large, owlish eyes.

“Because of me.” He cleared his throat. “And, everything was working just fine. You will notice.”

“Did I… Luke, did I ruin you for other women?”

His eye twitched. “With one look. One well-placed look at my sister’s terrible wedding reception.”

She blinked rapidly. “Oh. That changes things.”

“What does it change?”

“Well, it means that cake had better hurry up and bake or I’m taking it out and letting the middle fall in on itself.”

His stomach tightened. “Really?”

“Yes, because I need to get you back in bed. Now.”

Chapter Six