Authors: Kodi Wolf
"Stop," she ordered.
"Or what, you'll shoot me?" Carlotti asked half-hysterically.
She was already going to kill him; what did he have to lose?
"Case, I could take you into custody. The FBI would protect you until the trial. You could get a new identity..." Rain broke in.
Case looked back over at Rain, ignoring Carlotti since in his current state he really couldn't get very far. She interrupted Rain before the woman could continue any further.
"Now who's insane? You really think they'd just let me go after the things I've done? I've killed a senator. I've killed cops. I've killed women and children. They don't let people like me start over," Case argued.
As much as Rain wanted to disagree, there wasn't anything she could say. She'd already thought of those things herself.
"This is my last job, Rain, and then I'm gone," Case said quietly, trying to make the agent understand. "I just want my life back."
Rain felt like she was being pulled in half a dozen different directions. Her duty was to the FBI. But she was in love with Case. Case was a killer, and Rain should have arrested her. But Case wasn't like most of the people in the upper echelons of the mafia. She didn't want to be part of the organization. She wasn't interested in gaining more status or power or wealth. She was just trying to find her way out and doing it the only way she knew how.
Whether it was right or not, in Rain's mind, the balance of Carlotti's life and the lives of the other men who helped him never even came close to tipping the scales against Case's life.
Rain thought she was probably going to go to hell for even considering letting Case go through with her plans, but she'd already felt that way after her first year of working undercover. She'd always tried to tell herself the things she'd done had been for a higher purpose, and the government had sanctioned it all as a necessary part of Rain's job, which supposedly took away Rain's responsibility for her actions. Of course, the Nazis in Germany had tried to say the same thing after the Holocaust. They'd just been "following orders," which was exactly what she and Case had been doing, though they'd been on opposite sides of the law.
But Case had been right when she'd said killing was killing whether it was in self-defense or not; the ends didn't justify the means no matter what the reasons. It was simply one person deciding that their rights were more important than another's. It just depended on whose side you decided to take because the argument could be turned around and used for either side of this particular situation.
Was it worth all the lives that had been lost and corrupted just so that the government could proclaim its version of justice on all the people that had been involved in Carlotti's organization? Especially when Case had the means to bring the whole thing down in a single night. On the other hand, was it worth sacrificing Case's and Rain's souls, their honor and self-respect, and violating the sacred trust that the public had in the law, just so that Case could carry out her plans and basically get away with murder?
Rain's mind raced as she tried to sort through all the thoughts running around in her head. But they all looped back to one point. The people Case intended to kill were killers themselves, and while Case would probably never even so much as shoplift if she got the chance to live her life in peace, those men would continue to hurt people every chance they got. It was the only equation that mattered to Rain.
After what felt like an eternity, but was really only a few seconds, Rain nodded in agreement.
Case turned without a second thought and shot Antonio in the chest, and then several more times in the stomach and chest again, and then one last time in the head. She put her gun away and walked over to Rain.
They stared at each other for a long moment, both knowing that something had changed between them, but not quite knowing what. Case was the first one to shake off the bizarre feeling, and she gestured toward the two large doors.
"Come on, let's get out of here," Case said, and they headed for the exit.
CASE PARKED HER truck and cut off the engine. They were out of sight from the main road behind the last building before the long stretch of emptiness to the rigged warehouse. She got out of the truck and met Rain at the rear bumper.
"Antonio was always paranoid about you guys, or the cops, getting a chance to spy on him. That's why he made sure to keep the place isolated, just like his home."
"How are we going to get close enough to..." Rain started, but Case interrupted her, anticipating the question.
"We don't need to. All we need to do is watch for the cars. This is the only road that goes to the warehouse, so they'll all have to go by us. I know the plates. Carlotti made me memorize them, and Doc sends me... Well, he used to send me updates whenever someone bought a new vehicle." She handed Rain a small pair of binoculars with night-vision capabilities for when it became dark. "You can use those to watch the road and check off the numbers I'll give you to make sure that everyone shows up." She picked up another larger set for herself. "And I can see well enough through these to make sure everyone goes inside. Then I blow the place," Case finished.
Case found a notepad and a pen and wrote down the license plate numbers for all the possible vehicles that the bosses had at their disposal. For some, the list was unbelievably long, for others, it was relatively short. Once Case was finished, she gave the paper to Rain.
As they sat quietly in the back of the SUV, waiting for the time when they would actually have something to do, Rain tried to think of something to say, but she was at a total loss. Her brain seemed to have shut down after she'd decided to go along with Case's plans. She couldn't stop questioning herself as to whether she'd made the right decision or not.
In fact, Rain didn't think there was a right decision in all of this. On the one hand, she had an assassin who intended to kill a bunch of people who were just as guilty of the horrible crimes Case had committed. While on the other, the law said she was supposed to protect those criminals until they could be put on trial, and if that meant killing Case, the woman she loved, or even just putting her in prison until she died of old age, then so be it.
Rain was supposed to put aside her personal feelings and just do her job, which sounded an awful lot like what Case had done in order to survive the past few years. The realization of her loss of faith in the system made Rain feel like she was in the middle of the ocean with no land in sight and no chance of rescue.
Next to Rain, Case sat pensively as she tried not to think about anything at all. She'd dragged Rain into her crazy plan, and she knew Rain probably hated her for it. But no matter how hard Case tried to see things from Rain's point of view, she couldn't get past her own understanding of the way the world worked.
You couldn't trust the cops or anyone else to protect you. They had their own agendas and it didn't matter what was right or wrong. They just wanted to do their jobs and go home and feel good about themselves. If that meant they put the blame on a teenage girl for taking the law into her own hands when no one else was willing to protect her and her mother, then that's what they did. They didn't have to feel guilty that they'd let some kid get hurt. They could congratulate themselves that they'd caught a psycho in the making and put her behind bars.
But Case wasn't quite as jaded as she tried to pretend to herself. She knew there were plenty of good cops, but she also knew that didn't make them better than everyone else. They were still human just like all the judges and all the people who held office. Being a representative of the law didn't make a person automatically right. Even Rain, as much as Case loved her, seemed to be under the impression that the law was more important than the people it was supposed to protect, and Case could never accept that. Sometimes, the law had to be broken in order to protect the people.
Justice was in the hands of the most powerful, not the most morally wise or correct.
Case tried to shake off the philosophical thoughts. They didn't do her any good and she needed to be in the here and now, not off on some mental trip. She was just getting herself grounded again when she heard her stomach growl loudly.
Rain heard the sound of Case's hunger and took the opportunity to focus on something other than her confused thoughts. She moved further into the truck to bring out the deli sandwiches they'd picked up on their way over to the warehouse. She opened two bottles of water and passed one to Case.
"Thanks," Case said, as she unwrapped her sandwich and took a bite.
It was quiet again as they ate, sitting side by side with their legs dangling over the bumper, but when the silence continued after they'd finished their food, Rain had to speak.
"So, what happens after this?"
Case looked over at her for a moment. Her eyes seemed to fill with emotion for a brief second, and then they went dead again. She turned her head away to look around at the yellow-orange glow reflecting off everything from the soon-to-be setting sun.
"I disappear and you go back to your life," she said with finality.
Rain thought that over for all of about two seconds.
"No."
Case rolled her eyes and began to protest, but Rain didn't let her start.
"No. This isn't over between us," Rain declared and took a breath to continue, but Case beat her to it.
"Of course it is. You're an FBI agent and I'm part of the organization you were investigating. Once all those bosses are dead, the investigation's over and you get to stop pretending to be some thug. Or are you still planning on trying to bring me in?" Case asked with an edge to her voice.
"No. That's not what I was talking about. This... What we feel about each other was never part of my assignment. I don't think you can just toss it aside so easily."
There was silence for a while as Case tried to come up with a response that would get Rain to give up, but none of it sounded convincing even to her own ears. Her shoulders slumped slightly in defeat as she studied the ground.
"It won't work. I can't live in your world. Not after the things I've done. And you don't belong in mine. You can't stop being who you are any more than I can."
Rain leaned into Case and lifted her chin with the tips of her fingers. Her expression was one of understanding and she spoke gently.
"You're not a killer, Case."
Case laughed in her face.
"There are a few people who I think would disagree with you. If they could," she said, and shrugged off the tender touch as she hopped off the back of the truck to put more space between them.
Rain let her hand drop, but she didn't give up as she spoke to Case's back.
"All right. Yeah, you've killed people. But you're not a killer. I've profiled killers. That's what I was before I was finally allowed to go after Carlotti. I was a profiler and that means I know the difference between someone who kills because they have to and someone who does it for fun. Case, if you never had to defend yourself from an attack ever again, would you seek someone out to kill them just for sport?"
Case looked back over her shoulder for a second and then faced away again as she shook her head in negation.
"No, of course not," Case answered tersely, sounding offended just from being asked the question.
"That's my point." Rain stood up and walked closer to Case, but refrained from actually touching her. "I'm not saying the things you've done are okay. They're not and I have no idea how you're going to deal with it when it all catches up to you. I don't really know how to deal with it myself, except to keep telling myself that if you hadn't followed orders, you'd be dead and that's unacceptable to me. Those are extenuating circumstances in my opinion. But the truth of the matter is that you never wanted to kill anyone. It's not who you are."
"That's not true," Case admitted quietly and slowly turned around to face the tall woman, though she wouldn't meet her eyes.
"What?" Rain asked in surprise.
She hadn't expected a rebuttal.
Case stood in front of Rain with her head bowed as if awaiting judgment for her sins. She spoke to the ground as she answered Rain's question.
"I wanted to kill my dad," Case confessed. "I hated him."
Case swallowed as images from her past flashed across her mind's eye. She'd only spoken once about that bloody night and she'd held it all in ever since. But for some reason, she wanted to tell Rain about it. The need was so powerful, in fact, that Case started speaking without quite knowing what she was going to say.
"My dad... One night, he was so drunk and he started beating my mother. She kept screaming for him to stop, but he just kept hitting her and kicking her." Case's voice cracked and tears started pouring down her cheeks, but she continued through the pain. "I tried to stop him. I tried to pull him off her, but then he started beating on me, too. I ran. I think he was too drunk to remember he'd been hitting me and he went back to kicking my mom. I was gonna go after him again, but then I saw the knife in the sink, so I went for it, and when he came at me, I stabbed him. But he kept moving, so I just kept stabbing him and then I couldn't stop. I just hated him so much and I just wanted him to stop hurting us. He was always hurting us."
Rain stepped forward to hug Case, but Case quickly stepped back and held up her arms to stop the agent. She squeezed her eyes tightly to wring out the last of the tears and shook her head. She took a deep breath, and when she opened her eyes again, Rain could see the light was gone.
"Then I realized he was dead." Case's voice had also lost its emotion and Rain stood there helplessly. "I just kind of... I don't know. I spaced out for a while and then the cops were cuffing me. My mother said I was crazy and that he never hurt me. I wished I'd killed her, too, then." Case finally looked up and Rain's heart clenched at the cold expression she saw on Case's face. "So, you're wrong. I have wanted to kill. I enjoyed it. It was a relief to know he'd never be able to hurt me again. That I finally got him back for what he did to me. Only I didn't. Nothing could ever repay that. Nothing."