ARC: Assassin Queen (21 page)

Tomorrow she would be able to finally take full part in his campaign. She hoped this would make a difference to their chances against the Kaddim.

21

Promise

Kyth couldn
’
t get over his disbelief. He knew Ayalla had no reasons to lie to him about his gift, but everything he learned in the past few hours simply refused to settle in. His power, strong enough to take down the Kaddim Reincarnate? It seemed even more impossible than the idea that he and Alder would be spending the next couple of weeks with Ayalla, who seemed confident enough that this short amount of time would be sufficient for him to master his ability enough to face the reincarnation of the Cursed Destroyer himself, on top of protecting their entire army against the Kaddim magic.

He was only marginally less surprised to find out that Mai did not end up messing up his part and somehow managed to charm his way into Ayalla
’
s trust. And of course, knowing that Kara was all right, and, for the moment, free of the Kaddim link, made everything else seem worth it. Watching her and Mai emerge from the forest at dusk looking exhausted but happy in the way he hadn
’
t seen them in a very long time brought so much relief that he forgot even to feel jealous.

He lifted his head when he saw Lady Celana walking toward him. As she approached, he rose to his feet, offering his hand to help her down by the campfire. She accepted it gracefully, settling on the outstretched cloak beside him.

The royal lady was dressed for the march, her dark pants suit plain and practical, her hair tied into a smooth knot at the back of her head. Not for the first time Kyth marveled how well she fit into their camping life, while also maintaining the same refinement she did at court. It was as if she had a unique ability to wear her surroundings like a garment, bringing them with her wherever she went. To his surprise, he found himself thinking that in her own unique way this quality made an odd parallel to Ayalla. If Lady Celana always wore an invisible mantle of her royal upbringing around her, Ayalla wore a piece of her forest, albeit in a much more literal sense.

“
I hope you don
’
t mind me joining you, Prince Kythar,
”
Lady Celana said.

“
I am delighted, my lady.
”
The polite phrase came out automatically, but as soon as it left his lips, Kyth realized he meant it. Lady Celana always made him feel good, not only because of the way she tended to lighten up the conversation, but also because of the way she made his self-esteem soar just by looking at him with shy admiration, as if she genuinely cared. He was going to miss her when she departed with the Majat, leaving him behind at Ayalla
’s place.

“
I, um, was hoping to trouble Your Highness with a request.
” Lady Celana
’
s uncomfortable look piqued his interest. What could she possibly ask him for that she would also find so embarrassing?

“
Anything I can do, my lady,
”
he said earnestly.

Her cheeks lit up with a faint blush.
“
I would like to ask your permission to stay with you and Alder at Lady Ayalla
’
s. If this is agreeable to you, of course.
”

Kyth
’
s eyes widened.
“You
’
d like to stay with us? Why?
”

Her blush deepened as she continued to hold his gaze.
“
Consider this a personal request, my lord. I
’
d like to, if only because there seems to be no good reason for me to travel to Shayil Yara.
”

Kyth shook his head.
“
You will be a lot safer with the Majat.
”

She smiled.
“
I doubt it, Your Highness. But more than that, I feel that
…”
She paused.

“
Feel what?
”

Her blush rolled down her neck. He had never seen her look so flustered.

“
I must confess, Your Highness, that when I asked to join this campaign against the Kaddim, one of my main reasons to do it was the fact that it would enable me to stay by your side. This is the place I
’
d like to keep
–
if you let me, with full understanding that I never intend to impose on your privacy or make you feel uncomfortable.
”

Kyth heaved a breath. He knew she seemed to like him for some reason, but he always believed this was mostly due to the fact that he was the only young man here who shared her high station and thus seemed like worthy company
–
not that she ever showed inclination to pull ranks with the others. He had originally been opposed to the idea of her joining their party, but had to give in to his father
’
s insistence, likely driven by the idea that Lady Celana may help him forget his heartbreak and secure an eligible match for marriage. With all these political considerations, he had never given enough thought to the possibility that Celana genuinely cared about him. And now, the way she was looking at him, the way she stated her preference to stay by his side, made him wonder.

He knew her reserve. It never seemed easy for her to communicate her feelings
–
especially with the way he tended to brush her off every time Kara was in sight. Watching her chest heave as she sat in front of him, blushing to the roots of her hair, made him feel guilty.

He reached over and took her hand.

“
My friends call me Kyth,
”
he said.

Her eyelids fluttered as she raised her eyes to him. She looked so vulnerable that his heart quivered.

“
I would be honored if you could address me this way, my lady.
”

She smiled.
“
Kyth.
”

The way she pronounced it, as if caressing each sound with her tongue, made Kyth blush too. It felt so captivating to see her look at him like this. Unexpectedly, he found himself wondering what her skin would feel like under his fingers, what it would be like to run his hand through her hair. He stopped himself. Lady Celana was a friend, no more. He was trying to make her feel better, but he shouldn
’
t be acting as if he could ever promise her anything else.

“
Perhaps it would be easier if you could call me by my name too?
”
she asked.

“Celana.”
He felt oddly intimate as he said it, as the use of their names instead of the formal address broke a boundary between them. He laughed
“
This would take some getting used to, won
’
t it?
”

She lifted her eyes to him.
“
Yes, it would. And
…
I am honored to call you my friend. You can
’
t possibly know how much it means to me.
”

Her voice sank to a near whisper, her eyes wide as she looked into his face. Warmth pulsed off her skin as her blush rolled down deeper, all the way into the low cut of her shirt. Kyth hastily averted his gaze before it ventured anywhere improper.

He covered her hand he still held, cupping it between his, feeling so helpless under her disarming gaze. She was beautiful, and smart, and the admiration with which she always looked at him made his heart soar. Was he going to let his heartbreak, the way he just couldn
’
t stop thinking about Kara, ruin all this?

“
I haven
’
t been very good to you, have I?
”
he said quietly.

She smiled, her hand inside his hold briefly squeezing his.
“
You have a deep heart wound. The fact that you are capable of such loyalty to someone who no longer shares your feelings just proves in yet another way how great a man you are
…
Kyth. And, the last thing I want is for you to feel any guilt. I am not asking you for anything more than just allowing me to be by your side. As a friend.
”

“
This couldn
’
t possibly be enough.
”

She swallowed.
“
I haven
’
t made it a secret of how much I admire you. I cannot help hoping for more between us, but I know this is not something you or I can possibly control. I
’
ll take what you can give
–
with no regrets or false expectations, I promise you.
”

A lump rose in his throat as he looked at her. He felt ashamed for not being able to answer her feelings any better than this. He had no right to keep her by his side. But if she wanted to stay, he also had no right at all to turn her away. Not with the way she had opened her heart to him just now.

He lowered his eyes to her hand he was still holding, aware how warm and soft it was, how it quivered in his hold. Carefully, he brought her hand to his lips and kissed it.

“
I am not worthy of you,
”
he said.

She smiled.
“Isn
’
t it for me to decide?
”

“
I suppose it is.
” Kyth hesitated. “
If you truly feel you know me enough.
”

“
I do.
”
Her smile widened.
“
I think I am a better judge of character than you give me credit for.
”

He met her gaze.
“
I find your company very pleasant. And refreshing. I find myself missing you when you are not around. One day, I may be capable of more. But I know that here and now this cannot possibly mean much.
”

She reached over and lightly touched his cheek.
“
It does, actually. And, that one day that may yet come
– it
’
s worth waiting for, even if in the end it never happens this way.
”

His gaze wavered.
“
I find it perplexing that you would be interested in me at all.
”

She laughed.
“
I know you do. If you forgive me for saying so, this makes you even more alluring.
”

Alluring.
This simple word made his head spin. Suddenly, the sight of Kara and Mai, sitting together on the other side of the camp like a pair of love birds, no longer disturbed him so much. He shifted so that he could turn his back to them, facing Celana more directly than before. What would it feel like, to sit this close to her, feeling their entire bodies touch? The thought sent a new wave of blush into his face.

“
I wouldn
’
t want to lead you on or create any false pretenses,
”
he said.

“
I don’
t think you need to worry about that,
”
she said.
“
So far you have been nothing but honest about your lack of interest in me
–
as a woman, I mean.
”

Honest.
He wasn
’
t so sure this was true, not anymore. Was he feeling this pull for a while? Was he purposely trying to push her away and immerse into his heartbreak instead?
“
I have?
”

“
Yes. But I am only saying this to dissolve your fear of leading me on. Not to make you feel guilty in any way.
”

“
If I made you feel this way, why do you want to stay with me then?
”

She looked up at him.
“
I said I have no false expectations, Kyth. But I do have hope
–
when and if you are ready for it, of course. Even if this possibility turns out to be ungrounded, I would never forgive myself if I did not explore it to the end.
”

Hope.
He kept her gaze as they sat leaning toward each other, so close that he could feel the heat of her blush, the smell of her skin, fragrant like fresh lake wind. How was it possible that he never realized her skin smelled so good? Or was it just because he never got close enough to notice?

Her look, shy and direct at the same time, made his heart race. He suddenly realized that if she did continue traveling with the Majat while he stayed at Ayalla
’
s, he would miss her terribly
–
not only her cool wit and entertaining stories, but also the way she made his skin tingle and his toes curl when she looked at him like this.

“
I don’
t want to lead you on or make any false promises,
”
he said quietly.
“
But I feel very tempted to take advantage of you right now.
”

She leaned closer, until he could feel her breath on his cheek.

“
Please do,
”
she whispered.

He cupped her chin, drawing her into a kiss.

She tasted fresh and sweet, like a sip of the Lakeland cider that instantly went to his head. He could sense her uncertainty, as if she was unsure what to do, and her eagerness as she opened up to him, beckoning him to explore. She kissed like the virgin she probably was, yet also like a woman in love, willing to give him everything he would take from her. He took it slowly, first touching only her face, cupping it to stroke her skin and hair, giving her time to ease into his embrace. Her lips opened slowly, hesitant when he first ventured in, then growing bolder as she responded to his caress. Slowly, she relaxed into his hold.