Anticipation (24 page)

Raf opened the pantry and started pulling out ingredients.

“I was thinking spaghetti carbonara. That okay with everyone?”

“I love your carbonara,” Maggie purred, walking to slip her arms around Raf and kiss the underside of his jaw.

Eddie didn’t bother responding. They could serve him cardboard for dinner and he’d eat it. The only thing he was interested in right now was vodka.

Maggie and Raf started preparing the meal, checking in with each other about their respective days. Eddie sat and brooded, knocking back vodka and waiting for the alcohol to burn away the tight feeling in his chest and gut.

He was on his third generous drink when Raf took the bottle away from him.

“You can write yourself off after dinner, but at least get some food into you first.”

“Fine. Whatever.” Eddie shrugged.

“Poor Eddie,” Maggie said.

“She thinks I’m a bad prospect,” Eddie said before he could stop himself. “She thinks that because I haven't had a long-term relationship in the past, I’m a bad bet and that anything that happened between us would be doomed to disaster.”

“Hmmm,” Maggie said, nodding.

“That’s it? That’s all you have to say?” In the back of his head, he knew he sounded like a pathetic loser, but he was way beyond caring right now.

Blue was out with another man. That was the only thing he could focus on.

“I’m trying to be diplomatic.”

Eddie made a come-and-get-me’ gesture. “Hit me with it. I can handle it.”

“Well, you don’t have the greatest track record,” Maggie pointed out.

“Yeah, so I gathered.”

“But Blue’s is even worse,” Maggie said.

Eddie shook his head, not sure he’d heard properly. “Sorry — what did you say?”

“I said Blue’s romantic track record is worse.” Maggie immediately looked uncomfortable. “God, I feel like such a crappy friend saying that, but it’s true.”

Eddie frowned, trying to think past all the vodka pickling his brain. He’d never thought about Blue’s personal life in that light before, but Maggie was right — in all the time that he’d known her, Blue had never had any relationship with the opposite sex that had evolved beyond fuck-buddy status. Given how awesome Blue was, it suddenly struck him that there must have been guys who’d wanted more. Lots of them.

And yet Blue had held them all at bay.

“Jesus,” he said, feeling a little blown away by the observation. “And I’m supposed to be the messed-up one.”

Raf frowned. “I never noticed that about Blue before, either.”

“That’s because you’re men,” Maggie said smugly. “Women notice things.”

“Women notice too many things sometimes,” Raf said dryly.

Maggie gave him a smack on the ass. A hard one, if the echo in the kitchen was anything to go by.

“We hang onto things, too,” she said lightly.

Rafel laughed, completely uncowed by her warning.

Eddie was too busy joining lots of other dots to pay any attention — the way Blue lived, as though she could pack up and leave at any minute; her discomfort with sustained demonstrations of affection; her fierce independence in all things.

He’d always known she was a tough cookie, but he’d never realized exactly how self-protective she was before. How hard she worked to keep the world — people — at bay, inviting them so close, but not too close. The few exceptions to the rule were himself and Raf, Maggie and Lena. And even then, Blue still had her boundaries.

She hadn’t had boundaries in his bed, though. She’d been wild. She’d given him everything, without flinching. For a few hours, they’d been as close as two people could be.

“Okay, we’re ready to roll here,” Raf said.

Eddie blinked at his brother, resisting being called back to the here and now.

“Come on, eat something,” Raf said, encouraging Eddie to his feet with a hand under his elbow.

Eddie made the short walk to the dining table and sat in the seat his brother pushed him into. He ate his pasta, then he repossessed the vodka bottle and proceeded to drink himself into a stupor.

And one point, he found himself listing all of Blue’s sterling qualities to a patiently nodding Maggie as she made up the couch for him to sleep on.

“I know, she’s very special,” Maggie said more than once.

Then Eddie was alone, lying on his brother’s couch, with nothing to distract him from thoughts of Blue with Reid Thompson.

He’d never thought of himself as a jealous guy before. He’d had beautiful women in his life, women who other men followed with their eyes, women who couldn’t buy milk and a loaf of bread without getting hit on, and he’d never so much as gotten sweaty at the prospect that someone else might make a move on them.

But Blue… The thought of Blue being with someone else made his chest and gut ache. And it wasn’t just because it was Thompson, he realized suddenly.

He’d be the same way with any man.

He threw an arm over his eyes, hating the ugly thoughts circling his head. This was so screwed. Completely fucked up. And there was nothing he could do about it.

Arm locked in place, he finally drifted off to sleep.

Chapter Sixteen

Through drinks and then dinner with Reid, all Blue could think about was Eddie and the look in his eyes when she’d glanced at him on her way out the door.

He’d looked stricken. There was no other word for it.

And even though she told herself she owed him
nothing
, that it was good for both of them that she was sitting opposite Reid right now, she knew in her heart that she was wrong.

She should have said no when Reid asked her out. She should have come up with an excuse to put him off — said she’d call him, whatever — and just let it go. But Eddie had been standing there, bristling with possessive alpha-male territoriality, and it had felt important to signal that she was not his property, that he had no hold over her. No right to be jealous.

Now, she pushed her plate away, even though she’d barely touched her meal, and tried to concentrate on what Reid was saying. She’d agreed to this meal, after all. It felt like the least she could do.

“So then this prick of a site manager calls me over and tries to tell me how lucky I was to get the job. Like he was doing me a favor, you know?” Reid tossed back the last of his beer. “I can’t frickin’ wait till this build is over.”

Blue nodded as though this wasn’t the fourth story he’d told tonight about how he was right and someone else was wrong. She’d never really noticed before, but Reid was kind of an angry guy. He’d been impatient with the waitress, too, and the whole time they’d waited for their meal — and, admittedly, it had been a while because the kitchen had been dealing with a large table — he’d drummed his fingers on the table and glanced around as though he was being pushed to the absolute limit.

“So, what have you got lined up next?” she asked, mostly because it was more comfortable than sitting in awkward silence.

Reid was a bit of a jack-of-all-trades, sometimes taking on plastering work, other times roofing or tiling.

“A mate’s subdividing his block and putting a new house on the back. Figured I’d help him out with that — but only if he takes my advice about the drainage…”

Blue listened as he assassinated his friend, almost sighing with relief when she spotted the waitress with the bill.

“This is on me,” Reid said, pulling out his wallet.

“Let’s go halves,” Blue said lightly.

She never let men pay for her meals if she could help it. She wasn’t into feeling obligated, and she didn’t need to be wined and dined to hand over the goods — if she wanted to sleep someone, she slept with them. End of discussion.

Reid shrugged, and they both watched as the waitress headed to the register to settle their bill. Blue started a little when Reid reached across and picked up her hand, curling his own around it.

“So…my place or yours?” He grinned expectantly.

This was the part of the evening Blue hadn’t been looking forward to, because from the moment she’d left Ink with Reid, she’d known what he wanted at the end of the night, and she’d known she wasn’t going to give it to him.

“Actually, I’m pretty beat,” she said. “I might just head home.”

His smile faltered. “Seriously?”

“I’ve got a big day on tomorrow, and I need to start early.” She shrugged.

“Right.” He sat back, a knowing expression on his face. “This is because I didn’t call after the accident, isn’t it?”

“What? No. We don’t have the kind of relationship.”

Although, now she thought about it, he could have sent her a card or a bunch of flowers. She was pretty sure she would have done something along those lines if she’d heard he’d been in a major accident. Hell, she probably would have visited him in hospital.

“That’s what I figured,” he said. “So, what’s going on? Don’t tell me you’re not up for it — you’re always up for it. It’s one of my favorite things about you.”

He grinned again, and she was struck with the sudden realization that she didn’t actually like him very much.

“Well, sorry to disappoint, but I’m not up for it. I’m tired, and I’m going home. But I appreciate you dropping in to catch up.” She twisted to take her jacket off the back of her chair.

“Come on, Blue, don’t leave me hanging here,” he said.

She shrugged into her jacket. The blue-balls gambit hadn’t worked on her since she’d been sixteen.

“It was good to see you, Reid,” she said.

She pushed back her chair and he reached out to grab her arm.

“Hold on, you can’t just walk off.”

“You want to let me go?” She gave him a steady look.

Maybe he’d been able to intimidate other women into having sex with him, but that shit wasn’t going to play with her. If she had to, she’d make a scene and embarrass him into letting her go.

Reid’s face flushed and his hand tightened on her wrist for a second before he let her go.

“Fine. Fuck off, then. Leave me high and dry.”

She didn’t bother replying. Standing, she pushed her chair in, grabbed her bag and headed for the door.

“See you later, asshole,” she muttered to herself as she stepped onto the street.

She was only a couple of blocks from Brothers Ink and her car, and she wove her way through the busy foot traffic, feeling vaguely ashamed of the fact that she hadn’t realized Reid was such a douche before tonight. She’d always known he had a temper, and he’d always been a little on the egotistical side, but she’d never let that bother her because, let’s face it, they hadn’t actually done
that
much talking. And — if she was being completely honest — Reid having a few personality traits that she didn’t entirely admire made it a lot easier to keep things casual.

The Brothers Ink building loomed on her left, and she turned onto the side street. It was impossible to see the building and not think of Eddie. She’d hurt him tonight. She’d seen it in his face. But maybe this way he’d accept what she’d said and she wouldn’t have to come to work every day scared of what he might say, what he might offer, how he might tempt her.

Maybe this way was best. They could get the part where he was disappointed and angry with her out of the way quickly, and forget about Friday night. Things wouldn’t be normal between them straight away, but they’d get there eventually.

They had to.

She hadn’t lied to Reid about having an early start — she had a doctor’s appointment first thing, the last check-up with her orthopedic surgeon before she got the all clear — and she went straight to bed when she got home.

Despite her early night, she felt like crap when the alarm went off and she sucked down two cups of coffee before heading to the hospital.

Predictably, her doctor was running late, which meant
she
was running late by the time she left the hospital. She rang Steffi to let her know what was going on, then did her best to dodge her way through inner city rush-hour traffic. By the time she parked behind Brothers Ink, she was twenty minutes late, and counting.

She scrambled from her car and rushed into the building, hoping like hell that Steffi or Hans had gotten her client a coffee while she was waiting. It took her eyes a moment to adjust to the dimmer light inside after the bright sunshine, and she almost plowed into Eddie as he exited the staff room.

“Shit. Sorry,” she said, braking hard.

Eddie gave her a hard look. “You’re late.”

“I had an appointment. The doctor was running late.”

“You might want to arrange things so you don’t keep paying customers kicking their heels next time,” he said, a cold snap in his voice.

Under any other circumstances, Blue would ask what was up his butt, but she knew exactly why he was pissy with her.

“You’ll be pleased to know it was my last appointment,” she said calmly. “Now, if you could get out of the way, I can go deal with my paying customer.”

Eddie frowned, but he stepped aside. She dumped her stuff in the staff room, then went to get her tattoo machine from the autoclave, more than a little off balance after her run-in with Eddie.