In his early days as king, Henry had been described as the most handsome man in Europe and Anne, who clearly had an eye for a handsome man, cannot but have been flattered by Henry’s attentions towards her. Snaring Henry Percy and Thomas Wyatt greatly increased Anne’s sense of her own self-worth and this was further enhanced when she first noticed the king’s attentions. Anne quickly joined in the flirtation with Henry but she also attempted to keep her distance. Anne was looking to arrange a grand marriage for herself and she may well have seen the king’s favour as a way of attracting a high ranking and unmarried suitor. The strength of the king’s feelings would have caught her by surprise.
By 1526, Henry had been married to Catherine of Aragon for nearly seventeen years. Although he had stopped sleeping with his wife by around 1524, Anne would have known that Henry was still very much married and unavailable for anything more than the kind of affair that her sister had enjoyed. Mary Boleyn had been Henry’s mistress for several years but, by 1526, she had been discarded with little to show for her intimacy with the king. Anne knew from her own sister’s example that the position of royal mistress was both fleeting and dangerous. Mary Boleyn had entirely lost her reputation and Anne, as the more ambitious sister, was not prepared to follow.
Although Anne is usually criticised for her overweening ambition it is very likely that thoughts of marriage did not, at first, enter her mind. As the niece of the Duke of Norfolk and the great-granddaughter of the Earl of Ormond, Anne had a high opinion of herself and she knew that her virtue was one of the best ways of securing a husband. Since Henry could not marry her she probably enjoyed a mild flirtation with him but, ultimately, stopped short of agreeing to become his mistress. Anne followed the example of Henry’s own grandmother, Elizabeth Woodville, another Englishwoman who had attracted the interest of a king. According to Thomas More in his
History of Richard III,
Elizabeth also flirted with her king, Edward IV:
‘Whose appetite, when she perceived, she virtuously denied him. But that did she so wisely and with so good manner, and words so well set, that she rather kindled his desire than quenched it; And finally after many a meeting, much wooing and many great promises, she well espied the king’s affection towards her so greatly increased that she dared somewhat more boldly say her mind, as to him whose heart she perceived more finally set than fell off for a word. And in conclusion she showed him plain that as she wist herself too simple to be his wife, so thought herself too good to be his concubine’.
The difference between Elizabeth Woodville and Anne Boleyn was that Anne’s king was certainly not offering her marriage in early 1526. Wearied by her attempts to keep the king at a distance, Anne retired home to Hever, perhaps hoping that he would find some other interest at court. Henry was unable to forget the aloof and mysterious Anne and he quickly inundated her with a series of letters. In these, Henry poured out his feelings towards Anne and, ultimately, made his decision concerning her and their future together. No one had ever said no to Henry before and it only served to fuel his passion and to ensure that his relationship with Anne was anything but short-lived. Anne was like no other woman Henry had ever met and with her dark, foreign looks, graceful manner and high-estimation of her own selfworth, she drove the king into a wild and uncontrollable lust for her.
Seventeen of Henry’s letters to Anne survive, showing just how deeply in love with her he had become. These can be dated to 1526 and 1527 when Henry and Anne were often apart and chronicle the king’s growing obsession with the exotic and elusive Anne Boleyn. Although Anne’s own replies do not survive, it is possible to gain some idea of her response from Henry’s letters. It is also clear that Henry was completely confused by the signals that Anne gave him and desperate for her to love him in return. All Henry’s letters are in his own handwriting. This in itself shows something of the depth of his feeling for Anne as Henry hated writing and would dictate both private and public correspondence. For Henry, Anne was worth the discomfort of picking up a pen himself.
Anne was constantly on Henry’s mind whether she was at court or away and in one letter he wrote stating that ‘I and my heart put ourselves in your hands, begging you to recommend us to your good grace and not to let absence lessen your affection, for it were a great pity to increase that pain, seeing that absence does that sufficiently and more than I could ever have thought possible’. Henry was in an agony of self-doubt, terrified that Anne’s absence from court would make her forget him. He continued:
‘For although by absence we are parted it nevertheless keeps its fervency, at least in my case and hoping the like of yours; assuring you that for myself the pangs of absence is already too great, and when I think of the increase of what I must needs suffer it would be well nigh intolerable but for my firm hope in your unchangeable affection; and sometimes to put you to mind of this, and seeing that in person I cannot be with you, I send you now something most nearly pertaining thereto that is at present possible to send, that is to say, my picture set in a bracelet with the whole device which you already know; wishing myself in their place where it shall please you’.
Henry was simply not used to women refusing him and Anne Boleyn’s aloofness made him obsessed with her. Anne, for her part, read Henry’s letters eagerly. Safely away from him at Hever, she cannot but have been pleased at the effect she had on the king and she continued to send him mixed signals, both making it clear that she would not become his mistress, yet also trying to continue the flirtation.
Anne’s approach confused Henry and he continued to send a stream of letters and messengers down to Hever in order to satisfy himself with news of Anne and to ensure that he was constantly on her mind. Anne was certainly constantly on his mind and in one letter he wrote of his dismay that Anne had decided not to return to court as planned, stating that ‘it seems to me a very small return for the great love I have for you to be kept at a distance from the presence and person of the one woman in the world who I most esteem’. The frustration is plain from Henry’s words and Anne must have been thrilled at the effect that she was having on the king, although she may also have relented a little to ensure that Henry remained as affectionate as ever. Henry finished his letter saying ‘ponder well, my mistress, that absence from you is very grievous to me, hoping that it is not by your will that it is so; but if I understood that in truth you yourself wished it I could do no other than complain of my ill fortune while abating little by little my great folly’. There was a veiled threat in Henry’s words that he expected Anne to be kind to him and Anne adapted her approach accordingly. It is likely that she still remained in great confusion however as to just what she was going to do with the love-struck king.
Whatever Anne’s true feelings for Henry were in late 1526, Henry was certainly hopeful that she returned his love, writing anxiously to enquire about her health and to reassure Anne about his:
‘My uneasy qualms regarding your health have much troubled and alarmed me, and I should have had no ease without certainty, but as you have not yet felt anything I hope and take for granted that it will pass you by as I trust it has with us; for when we were at Waltham, two ushers, two grooms of the chamber, and your brother, the Master Treasurer, fell ill and are receiving every care, and since then we have been well physicked in your house at Hunsdon, where we are well established and, God be praised, with no sickness, and I think that if you would leave the Surrey side as we did, you would pass without danger; and it may also comfort you to know it is true, as they say, that few women or none have this malady, and moreover none of our Court, and that few elsewhere have died of it. Wherefore I beg of you, my wholly beloved, to have no fear nor to be uneasy at our absence; for wherever I may be I am yours, although we must sometimes submit to fortune, for who wishes to struggle against fortune is usually very often the farther from his desire. Wherefore, comfort yourself and be brave, and avoid the evil as much as you can, and I hope shortly to make you sing for joy of your return. No more now for lack of time, except that I wish you between my arms that I might rid you somewhat of your unreasonable thoughts’.
Henry signed this letter ‘written by the hand of him who is, and always will be, your Un H Rex changeable’. Henry was anxious to reassure Anne of his unchanged feelings for her and Anne may have been in need of some reassurance. The reference to Anne between Henry’s arms suggests that she had already taken their relationship a step forward and she must have been uncertain about just where her relationship with Henry would lead.
An undated letter from Anne to Henry survives from this period and demonstrates that the confusion and uncertainty in the relationship was certainly not one-sided. Anne wrote:
‘It belongs only to the august mind of a great king, to whom Nature has given a heart full of generosity towards the sex, to repay by favours so extraordinary an artless and short conversation with a girl. Inexhaustibly as is the treasure of your majesty’s bounties, I pray you to consider that it cannot be sufficient to your generosity; for if you recompense so slight a conversation by gifts so great, what will you be able to do for those who are ready to consecrate their entire obedience to your desires? How great soever may be the bounties I have received, the joy that I feel in being loved by a king whom I adore, and to whom I would with pleasure make a sacrifice of my heart, if fortune had rendered it worthy of being offered to him, will ever be infinitely greater. The warrant of maid of honour to the queen induces me to think that your majesty has some regard for me, since it gives me the means of seeing you oftener. And of assuring you by my own lips (which I shall do on the first opportunity) that I am, Your majesty’s very obliged and very obedient servant. Without any reserve, Anne Boleyn’.
Anne’s letter shows that she responded to the king’s affections and implies that she was also falling in love with him. Anne was still unsure as to just what he was offering her and had already made it clear that she would never accept the role that her sister had filled.
If Anne was in confusion about the future of her relationship with Henry, this was nothing compared to the confusion of the king who was utterly perplexed by the mixed signals she gave him. He searched desperately for some role that would please Anne and lead her to consent to becoming his mistress. Matters came to a head in early 1527 when Henry wrote to spill out all his doubts about Anne’s feelings for him:
‘In debating with myself the contents of your letters I have been put to a great agony; not knowing how to understand them, whether to my disadvantage as shown in some places, or to my advantage in others. I beseech you now with all my heart definitely to let me know your whole mind as to the love between us; for necessity compels me to plague you for a reply, having been for more than a year now struck by the dart of love, and being uncertain either of failure or of finding a place in your heart and affection’.
Anne must have been surprised at the effect that she had on Henry and that he had continued to pursue her for over a year. After a year of pursuit, Henry was also still desperate to make Anne his mistress and in the same letter he had a suggestion for her:
‘If it pleases you to give yourself body and heart to me, who have been, and will be, your very loyal servant (if your rigour does not forbid me), I promise you that not only the name will be done to you, but also to take you as my sole mistress, casting off all others than yourself out of mind and affection, and to serve you only’.
Anne would have been shocked by the content of Henry’s letter and he was making her a very different offer to the one that he had made previously. Henry, unable to live without Anne, made her the unprecedented offer of giving her the permanent role of royal mistress. This was still not marriage and still not what Anne required but it must have shown her just how serious the king’s love for her had become. She probably replied indignantly, stating that whilst she loved him she was too good to be his mistress. Anne’s refusal of the role of permanent royal mistress meant that there was only one option left for Henry if he wanted to have her. Both Anne and Henry knew that this was marriage.
Henry did not put his proposal to Anne in writing and he may have either sent a messenger to Anne at Hever or waited for one of her visits to court. It must still have been a shock to Anne however when the king finally offered to make her his wife and she insisted on time to consider his proposal. George Wyatt suggests that Anne was reluctant to agree to marry Henry as she loved Queen Catherine. It is more likely that she wanted time to discuss the matter with her father and to consider the seriousness of the king’s offer. Thomas Boleyn ‘was not a little joyful’ when he heard of the proposal and this must have helped persuade Anne to accept the king. Anne was probably also attracted to Henry both as a man and as a king and she would have wanted to accept him, although she was also aware of the dangers of doing so.
Anne’s feelings were in turmoil following the king’s offer of marriage and she expressed this fact in a gift she sent to Henry along with her acceptance, both of which were very well received. Henry wrote:
‘I thank you very cordially, not only for the handsome diamond and the ship in which the lonely damsel is tossed about, but chiefly for the fine interpretation and the humble submission which your kindness has made of it; thinking well that it could be very difficult for me to find occasion to merit it if I were not aided by your great indulgency and favour, for which I have sought, seek, and will ever seek, by everything in my power’.