Angel Fever (11 page)

I
AWOKE FROM TANGLED DREAMS
to find the desk light on, its neck pushed down low. I blinked as I propped myself up on my elbows, wondering whether I was still dreaming. Alex was moving around the room wearing only his jeans, his hair damp as if he’d just taken a shower.

He had one of the small nylon backpacks from the supply closet, and he was packing it.

“Alex?” I glanced at the clock. It wasn’t even four in the morning. “What’s going on?”

“Hey.” He came over and sat beside me. “It’s, um…been kind of an eventful night. Kara’s here.”

“
Kara?
” I sat up straight. “You mean – she’s still alive? But
how
? Is she okay?”

He took my hand and looked down, playing with my fingers. “She was in an Eden. Something’s happened to her – I think she’s been marshalled somehow.”

Images of what he’d seen swirled through me. I caught my breath at the sight of Kara’s bruised face. “Oh god, she’s
not
okay.”

Alex detached his hand from mine and cleared his throat. “No, she’s fine – just pretty beaten up. And she’s been through a hell of a lot.” Briefly, he told me what had happened. My mouth tightened at the mention of my father. Oh, poor Kara.

“Brendan’s dead,” Alex added after a pause. “He was fatally injured in the Mexico City quake.”

Sorrow stirred through me, though I’d already grieved for both Brendan and Kara months ago. Wordlessly, I touched Alex’s arm, rubbing his tattoo.

He still sat looking down, the muscles of his torso firm even though he was relaxed. Or was he? Studying him more closely, I became aware of a faint feeling of tension, and I glanced again at the backpack, gaping open. A folded T-shirt lay on top and a couple of spare magazines for his pistol.

I slowly dropped my hand. “So…what does all of this have to do with you going somewhere?”

Alex got up from the bed, and if it had been anyone else, I’d have said that he was moving to avoid looking at me. “Kara’s brought some new information,” he said as he picked up his camouflage trousers. “I’ve got to go check something out at the old AK camp.”

“You mean you’re going to New Mexico?” I shoved back the covers and scrambled to the bottom of the bed. I took the trousers from him and put them aside. “Hey, stop packing for a second. What new information? About the angels?”

“Yeah. It’s probably nothing, though.”

“Well…what did Kara say?”

Alex’s blue-grey eyes met mine. I had the fleeting sense that the moment was poised on a knife’s edge. Then he let out a small breath. “It’s…something my dad was working on years ago, that’s all.”

He stopped, and I opened my mouth to say,
Yes, but what?
Then he turned away and went on: “It was, um – kind of to do with the earth’s energy field. I always thought it was crazy. But if he was right, then…” He shrugged.

“The earth’s energy field,” I repeated blankly.

“Well, not really. It’s complicated – I don’t have time to explain.”

“Cully,” I said suddenly. The name had just popped into my head; I frowned as I tried to put the pieces together. “Did Kara see Cully? Is this coming from him?”

Alex had gone to the desk to get his pistol; when I spoke, he stopped in his tracks. His shoulders flexed as he propped his hands on the desk. “Willow, listen – don’t try to get it, all right? It’s better if no one but me knows some of this.”

“Whoa, whoa.” I went quickly to him. Sliding a hand across the smooth warmth of his back, I leaned around to look into his face. “Alex, what’s going on?”

“Nothing, it’s – just a precaution,” he said, squeezing my hand briefly and releasing it. “I don’t think anything will happen here while I’m gone, but if it does, none of you would be able to tell the angels any details. Just…trust me and leave it alone, okay?”

I didn’t know what to say. He’d gone back to packing; his dark hair was half-dry now, looking soft at the edges. “Is this something dangerous?” I asked at last.

His gaze stayed on the backpack as he put the camouflage trousers in. He shook his head. “No. Nothing I can’t handle.”

I fell silent, thinking about the promise he’d made. I almost said something, but then he looked up and I saw the expression in his eyes. He hadn’t forgotten; I could tell.

If he were putting himself in danger, he’d tell me.

There was a long pause. Finally I nodded reluctantly. “All right. But – well, why don’t I come with you? Or Sam, or Seb, or
someone
?”

Alex fastened the backpack. “No, it – makes more sense if I go alone. There’s no reason to take anyone else away from training the team, when I can do this myself.”

He paused and touched my hair then, gently fingering a wavy strand. As if thinking about something else, he said, “Willow, look – this is just something I need to do. I mean, it’s probably nothing, but if it
is
something, then…”

He didn’t go on, though I sensed in a rush how important this could be – and knew that whatever objections I had weren’t going to make any difference.

The words didn’t want to come out. “So…when are you leaving?” I asked finally.

“Now. I just need to tell the others. I’m leaving Sam in charge while I’m gone – is that okay with you?”

“Yeah, good call.” I rubbed my arms, still hardly able to believe we were having this conversation. “How long will you be gone, exactly?”

Alex’s eyes met mine. For a second I thought he was going to say something, then he turned away and tightened a strap on the backpack, yanking it taut. “However long it takes, I guess.”

However long what takes?
With an effort, I bit the question back.

I watched as Alex pulled on a blue T-shirt and then reached into our closet for his leather jacket, scavenged almost a year ago from an abandoned store in Phoenix. He shrugged into it, and for a second I was reminded of when I’d first met him – he’d been driving a black Porsche and wearing a jacket just like this one. Even then, back when we’d hated each other, I’d thought he was the best-looking boy I’d ever seen.

Once we’d gotten the others up, Liz and Sam were as stunned by the news that Kara was here as by Alex leaving. Only Seb seemed unsurprised; I saw him give Alex a sharp look.

“Look, Al, I seriously don’t like this—” Sam was saying as we walked down the corridor towards the garage. Outside, I knew it wasn’t even dawn yet; the rest of the base was still asleep.

“Wait a sec; I’ll just grab a sat phone,” interrupted Alex as we came to the comms room. He ducked inside and was out again a few moments later. I had the brief sense that he’d stuffed more than just a sat phone into his jeans pocket.

Alex was walking a little ahead, fielding a barrage of questions from Sam.

“Did you know about this?” Liz whispered.

I shook my head, still gazing at Alex. Without trying, I was aware that there was something buried in his mind; that he was consciously piling other thoughts on top. I crossed my arms tight, resisting the urge to look further. He’d asked me to trust him and I did, but…what was going on?

Alex grabbed some food and a rifle, and then, all too soon, we were in the garage and he was loading up one of the 4 × 4s. He shook hands with Sam and Seb, gave Liz a brief hug. “Okay, I’ll check in when I can, but try not to worry if you don’t hear from me.”

Like the night Alex and I had gone to Colorado, Sam was in his pyjamas, his broad face a scowl. “Yeah, we’ll just throw a party. Bud, all this secret squirrel stuff is
not
reassuring.”

Seb hadn’t said much, though his hazel eyes were troubled. He said something to Alex in low, urgent Spanish; Alex shook his head. “
No,
pero gracias,
amigo,
” he replied in an undertone – and I knew Seb must have asked, as I had, whether he could go along.

“Look, if – I mean, it won’t, but if anything happens—” Alex broke off, jiggling the keys in his hand. “Sam, you’re in charge, but the others are allowed to mutiny if you do anything stupid,” he said, his voice abruptly curt. “Seriously, just keep on training everyone, all right? If what I’m checking on doesn’t pan out, that’s all we can do. There are plans on my laptop I’ve been working on; Willow knows the password.”

Sam’s eyebrows lowered. “Alex, what the hell—”

“It’ll be fine.” Alex glanced at me, then back at the others. “Let us have some privacy, okay? Take care, you guys.”

The others left with backward glances. I gripped my arms, leaning against the truck as silence settled around us. “Alex, this is— I mean, I’m still trying to figure out what’s even going on here.”

Alex stood motionless. Then he shook his head as if chasing a thought away. His voice was rough. “Yeah, I know. I’ll tell you everything later. I’d better get going now, though.”

He stepped close and stroked my hair back with both hands – and though our kisses had meant many things before, this one was somehow different. I wrapped my arms around his neck, kissing him back as hard as I could; then we just held each other, his head buried against my shoulder.

“Hey, I’ll be checking up on you,” I tried to joke as he finally pulled away. “I mean, like, every second.”

His throat moved slightly. “I know,” he said. He gave a crooked smile and touched my cheek. Slowly, his fingers trailed down to my neck.

“You are my life, you know that?” he said in a low voice. “You always have been, from the second I met you.”

He swung himself up into the truck before I could answer, not looking at me. “Get the elevator for me, will you?” he said. “I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

But as I moved to press the button, I froze in place. For a second, I literally couldn’t make myself do it – it felt as if I’d be sending Alex to his doom.

I glanced back, drinking in his face, the beautiful shape of his mouth as he fiddled with the truck’s controls.
It’s okay,
I told myself.
He said that he wouldn’t put himself in danger again without telling me. He promised.

I squared my shoulders…and pressed the button. As the elevator door slid open, Alex looked up and started the engine. “Be careful,” I said, lifting my voice over the noise of the truck.

He nodded, drove the 4 × 4 into the elevator, and then hooked his arm over the seat, twisting around to look back at me. Our eyes met and locked as the door slid shut, slowly slicing him from view.

It closed.

As the machinery rumbled, moving upwards, that feeling of dread swept over me again, stronger than before. But I had to trust that he knew what he was doing.

I looked up as Seb entered the garage, his hands shoved into his back pockets. “I, uh…heard the elevator,” he said. “Are you all right?”

“Yeah, I guess,” I said. I could sense Alex above, the garage door rising for him as the outside gate slid open. Another second, and he’d be gone.

Unable to help myself, I connected quickly with my angel. Spreading my ethereal wings, I shot up through the elevator shaft, bursting up out of the building like a swimmer emerging from water. There were still stars overheard, with the rosy tinge of dawn in the east.

Alex’s truck was making its way down the dirt road. From this height, it looked like a toy. I hovered as I watched the truck grow smaller, longing to fly after him but sensing the intensity of his purpose – and his grim conviction that he’d do whatever it took to come back to me again.

He turned onto the main road and the truck was devoured by darkness.

Seb was still standing beside my human form as my angel merged with me again. I stared at the empty space where Alex’s truck had been, feeling alone despite Seb’s presence.

“What do you want, Seb?” The words came out more sharply than I’d meant.

His face drained of expression. “Nothing. Forget it.” He turned to leave. I could feel that he was worried about me – and Alex too, for that matter.

I sighed and followed, stopping him with a touch on his arm. “Look, I’m sorry.” I leaned against the wall, rubbing my throbbing head. “It’s just…this has been a really weird night, okay?”

Seb gave a humourless smile as he propped himself next to me. “It’s funny – just a few hours ago, he was convincing
me
to stay.”

“A few hours ago?” I stared at him. “What more do you know about this?”

Seb shook his head. “Only what he just told us.”

Then his words registered. “Wait – why was he convincing you to stay? Were you leaving?”

He shrugged. “I might still. We’ll see.”

I paused. “With Meghan?”

Seb nodded. And for some reason, this made what had just happened a little harder to bear. “I really like her,” I said finally. “I’m happy for you, Seb. I mean it.”

The look he gave me was complicated – wry and vulnerable at the same time. “Yes, thank you,” he said, his tone formal. “I like her too.”

Neither of us spoke for a few minutes. All I could think of was Alex, heading towards New Mexico and his father’s old camp with something locked deep inside of him. I let out a breath.

Oh god, Alex, please be safe.

B
ACK IN MY ROOM
,
GETTING
a few more hours’ sleep was impossible – the feeling of unease was growing by the minute. Finally I grabbed my things and went to take a shower.

I was in the same cubicle Alex and I had used once when we’d snuck in here at two in the morning to take a shower together; I always used it now if it was free. The memory of the hot water pounding down on us as we’d kissed, laughing – of his body against mine, firm and warm and slippery with soap – usually made me smile.

This time it just made the fear even stronger.

I towelled myself off; my clothes clung to my still-damp body as I wiped steam from the mirror and started to comb out my hair. My worried face gazed back at me.

This is wrong. This feels so wrong.
Suddenly my hands were trembling. Kara. What exactly had she told him, to make him take off like this?

With my hair still damp, I left the shower room and headed to the infirmary.

Kara was alone when I got there, asleep in one of the hospital beds. I silently drew up a chair, pity stirring in me at the sight of her battered face. I’d never liked Kara, but I wouldn’t have wished what she’d been through on anyone.

Her hand looked as thin as the rest of her. From what Alex had told me, I wasn’t even sure this would work. I hesitated – and then touched her hand, very lightly, her skin papery beneath my fingers.

I’d never tried to read someone who was asleep. It was a weird sensation. Images came through, but it was like experiencing them underwater. Kara, walking through city streets with her hands in her jacket pockets.
Austin Eden,
I thought dreamily. She was trying to look casual, but I could feel her apprehension; if they caught her, she’d never get out of this place. Then we seemed to fast-forward. She was in a sort of warehouse, packed with sick people on army cots.

I hardly recognized the man Alex and I had encountered in New Mexico, but could sense Kara’s sadness as she sat beside him. “Hey, Cull…you don’t look so hot.”

“Alex,” he said urgently. “Have you seen him? I’ve done something – we’ve got to stop him—”

As I listened to what followed, my spirits fell. It was all so vague; I could sense Kara didn’t understand any of it either. Then my eyes flew open as her hand jerked away.

“What the hell are you doing?” she hissed.

She lay glaring – but I could feel her fear too. Suddenly I was ashamed. “I’m sorry,” I said, rubbing my palm on my jeans. “You were asleep, and I had to know what you told Alex.”

“Yeah? So why not ask him?”

“Because he left. He’s gone to the old AK camp.”

Her good eye widened. “So there
was
something to it,” she murmured. “I wasn’t sure.” Then she grabbed my arm. “Wait – you were able to read me? How come
you
could, when none of the angels could do it?”

I shook my head. “Alex said you must have been marshalled. Maybe it only works against full-blooded angels, or something.” I cleared my throat, studying her bruises again and feeling saddened. “Anyway, I’m sorry. I didn’t have any right to read you while you were asleep.”

Taking in my gaze, Kara’s lip curled. “You know what? Getting these was
fun
compared to dealing with your father. Give me a good, honest fistfight any day. Now get out.”

She rolled onto her side, taking the IV cord with her. Realizing I was doing more harm than good, I left.

In the main room of the infirmary, I was standing slumped against the wall, trying to still my spinning thoughts, when Sam walked in.

He peered in at Kara through the small window in the door. “Oh, man, she looks awful,” he said in an undertone. “I just thought—”

“That you’d talk to her about why Alex left,” I finished. “I checked; she doesn’t know anything.” I hesitated. “But Sam, this really doesn’t feel right. I mean, I don’t think I’m just being a worried girlfriend here.”

He snorted. “Well,
I’m
sure as hell not being a worried girlfriend, and I don’t like this at all. Not one little bit.”

“So…what do we do?”

Sam made a face. “I don’t know. Wait for now. See what happens.”

I nodded reluctantly, because I wasn’t sure what to do either.

Somehow I got through the next few hours. “He’ll be fine,” Liz kept saying at breakfast. “Honestly, no one’s more competent than Alex.”

I nudged at my oatmeal, hating the way it stuck gloppily to my spoon. “Yeah, you’re right,” I said, because I didn’t want to give words to what I was actually feeling.

He shouldn’t have gone. He shouldn’t have gone.

“Willow?” said Liz softly.

I rose and picked up my tray. “It’s almost time for my first class with Seb.”

The room Seb and I held classes in was small; a dozen recruits sat on the floor, concentrating, with legs folded in lotus or semi-lotus positions. “Watch Willow’s angel while you move through the chakra points,” Seb instructed, lounging against the wall with his ankles crossed. “See how it fades and then comes back.”

It was all so life-as-usual
,
when really nothing was. After class I found myself waiting by the door for Seb. I hadn’t done this in a very long time, but he didn’t look surprised.

My words tumbled out. “Seb, listen – before Alex left he started to say something about the earth’s energy field. What was that about, do you have any idea?”

“The earth’s energy field?” Seb repeated. I felt his sudden alarm as he reached past me to shut the door. “I don’t know…unless he thinks he can use it against the angels, maybe.”

The earth’s energy was chaotic, untamed. Trying to harness it would be… I swallowed hard. “But that’s crazy.”

Seb didn’t deny it. “Oh,
madre mía,
I
knew
we should have gone with him,” he muttered, pressing his fists against his forehead. “I could feel that he was lying about something—”

I froze. “He was?”

Seb looked startled. “Willow, I thought you must know – that he was only lying to the rest of us! The sense of it was buried, yes, but…”

“No! He told me to trust him – he asked me not to read him!” I closed my eyes and quickly found Alex’s warm, familiar presence. He was still driving; he was all right. For now.

But when I opened my eyes, dread crashed through me again like a tide. There was no way that I could just stay here and wait for his return – absolutely no way.

My heart was beating fast. “So, um – thanks,” I said to Seb, backing up a step. “I’ve got to go now.”

His face was taut with concern. He touched my arm. “Willow—”

“I’ve got to go.” I opened the door and stepped out into the corridor – and suddenly I was running for the garage as fast as I could, my sneakers pounding against the cement.

“Willow!” I heard Seb call.

I rounded a corner and collided with Sam. “Hey, whoa!” He grabbed me by the arms. “What’s going on?”

“Let me go!” I tried to shake him off; he held on tighter.

“No way, not until you tell me what’s happening!”

I was almost crying. “I’ve got to go after him! I’ve
got
to. Something’s wrong, Sam, really wrong!”

Seb caught up just as Sam let go of me, frowning. “Yeah,” Sam said, almost to himself. He rubbed a hand over his face. “Yeah, you’re right. Okay, I’m coming too.”

I hadn’t expected this, and the relief was enormous. With two of us driving, we could make better time. “We’ve got to hurry,” I said. Somehow I knew Alex wouldn’t take many breaks, even though he hadn’t slept.

Sam nodded. “Grab what you need. Meet me in the garage in fifteen minutes.”

“I’m going too,” put in Seb.

“No, you’re not,” Sam said curtly. “We can’t
all
go; who’s gonna run the goddamn base?”

Seb glanced at me, his muscles tense – and my fear multiplied as I realized that he wanted to be there for me. He was afraid of what might happen if we were too late.

“Seb, you’ve got to stay – you’ve got our classes to teach, and Liz can’t do everything on her own,” I said in a rush, thinking I’d say anything to keep him here – anything to keep from sensing his fear the whole long drive.

He started to protest and then stopped, his eyes scanning mine. “Yes, fine,” he said tightly.

All at once I felt clammy with cold. “And, Sam, listen – tell Liz not to mention to Alex that we’re coming when he checks in.”

Sam nodded grimly. Alex would not be thrilled if he found out. He might even deliberately try to lose us. Whatever his reasons for not wanting us there, they weren’t going to magically disappear if he heard we were on our way.

“Fifteen minutes,” Sam said again.

I was already jogging down the corridor. “Make it ten,” I called back.

For the rest of that day and all through the night, Sam and I took turns driving. We took the shattered Highway 93 out of Nevada, then picked up I-40 east, slicing across Arizona to New Mexico. Without discussing it, we stuck to the main roads for speed – we’d take our chances with any Eden staff we met.

From the set of Sam’s jaw and the tapping of his large, blunt fingers on the wheel, I knew he was as anxious as I was. Thankfully, he wasn’t the type who needed to make conversation – I couldn’t have handled small talk just then. We spoke only about the route or to ask if the other wanted a drink of water.

Every half-hour or so, I checked psychically on Alex, feeling briefly soothed by his energy. He’d stopped around six p.m. to sleep for a few hours; otherwise he was on the move, though Sam and I had closed the gap and were only about half an hour behind him now. When I drove I found myself edging the speedometer higher, desperate to catch up with him – to physically grab hold and refuse to let go if I had to, so that he couldn’t do whatever he was planning alone.

We entered New Mexico just before midnight. Four hours later, Albuquerque Eden rose before us with its concrete and barbed wire – and its distant packs of circling angels, their wings silver in the moonlight.

It wasn’t a sight I really wanted to see, just then.

The roads worsened again as we turned off and headed south. A few hours later the rising sun lit the rugged landscape that Alex loved – the endless desert, the bare, brown mountains. We were in the southern part of the state by then, with Sam at the wheel as I stared tensely at the highway, trying to remember the turn-off for his father’s old camp. Finally I spotted the dirt road.

“Here,” I said quickly. “We drove about twenty miles down this way – then Alex turned off directly into the desert.”

Sam glanced at me. “Can you find it?”

I nodded. Even if I hadn’t remembered the road, I sensed Alex so strongly now, leading me to him like a beacon.

My fingernails gouged into my palms. We had to get there in time – we
had
to.
Alex, I don’t know what you’re planning, but you can’t do it. Please. You’re my life, too.