“Don’t talk about Aspen. You don’t know her!” he said in my defense. A glimmer of hope was thrown out and I hung onto that raft for dear life.
“No, I don’t know her. But Hank, they are a dime a dozen, those city folk. And I was told by your Ma that she’s got tons of money. What could you—a builder, a cattleman—bring to the table that she doesn’t already have or can’t get for herself?” Her words confirmed everything I had ever feared. In the back of my mind, I’d always worried that my money and our lifestyle differences would break us. She was waving it in front of his face like a pork chop to a hungry wolf.
“I need a man who can take care of me. One who I can take care of in return, just like we used to. Hank, I’d do anything for you. You know that. What happened back then is history. It was a terrible, terrible mistake. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t wish it were different! I miss you and love you so much!” she practically screamed the last part.
Under the wagon I could see Hank go to her. She finally broke him. He was holding her in the perfect home, his embrace. I could hear him shushing her and telling her it was going to be okay. The distinct sound of lips on lips was unmistakable.
He was kissing her.
That’s when the world stopped; it no longer turned on its axis. It was over. The bubble had finally burst. Deep down, I knew it would. We were too different … worlds apart. I was too enamored with Hank and the goodness he represented to really understand it could never work. And now he’d proved it. He cheated, just like Grant.
Without making my presence known I darted from the wagon and set out at a full run toward the house. My body was covered with sweat, tears pouring down my face, when I reached my destination. I couldn’t breathe. Stars were shooting off in my peripheral vision; I tried in vain to blink them back. I ran to the side door of the house, dodging people left and right. I made it through the double doors and ran right into Ollie and Dean.
One look at my face and Dean’s eyes burned into white hot pokers. Ollie scooped me into a full body embrace. “Oh, no. Shit, Dean, we gotta go,” Oliver gestured to Dean. I did my best to choke back the heaving sobs that were desperately wracking my body, escaping through my mouth in agonized groans.
Oliver and Dean dragged me out to the front of the house and into Hank’s truck. Dean jumped into the driver’s seat as Ollie laid me in the back. Hank must have left the keys in the ignition, because we were off with a squeal of the tires and rocks flying in our wake.
“Fuck, no fucking cell service,” Ollie screamed, but the voices were starting to get jumbled. “Princess, what happened?” Ollie asked in the most caring voice. I knew that voice. He used that tone after every breakup, fight with Rio, or a knock-down drag-out with my mother. Basically, any time he saw me in pain.
“He kissed her. He loves her,” I choked out, and covered my face. Misery—deep utter regret and misery—took hold. He didn’t see me as enough. I had to get out of his home, out of Texas. I needed to be home. On my turf.
“Hank kissed another woman?” Ollie asked and I nodded. The ability to speak was gone, my throat dry, hot and scratchy as if I swallowed razorblades. “He loves someone else? But he said you, he loved you! He told us all that!” Ollie started to cry and Dean shushed him the same way Hank comforted Susie. Bile rose in my throat and the sour taste filled my mouth with saliva.
Oliver petted my arm; fat tears ran down his face as he cried with me. He always did. If I was in pain, so was he. It’s the way it worked with us. He was the only man I could ever truly love that wouldn’t hurt me. God I was stupid.
“H-He’s going b-a-a-acck to his ex!” I managed with the last bit of effort I could muster. The agony was just too much. Shards of pain dug deep into my gut and it took everything I had not to heave and wretch what little I had to eat today on the floorboard. It wasn’t like this with Grant. The bastard cheated on me twice and I took him back, never so broken so distraught. In fact, I’d never actually felt this type of suffering in all my twenty eight years. It was overwhelming, all encompassing, it took over my entire being.
The men pulled up to Hank’s house, but Ollie suggested I stay in the car. I did what they said, not really caring what happened next.
Visions of Hank smiling, calling me Angel, making love to me, tortured my thoughts. His laugh, the way his body seemed to glow after he took a shower burned into memory. His silly nicknames for everyone in my life, including me. How he fought with Gustav, and the taste of his skin first thing in the morning … pure bliss. The welcome home kiss at the end of each day that stopped my heart from beating. The way he cupped my cheeks and groaned into my mouth as if there was no place he’d rather be when he’d first press his solid length into me. All gone. Fuck. It was too much.
All too soon I was being lifted and moved into another car. A taxi. Bags were being tossed into the back hurriedly. The men settled into the cab, Dean in front, Ollie in back holding me close. Dean’s phone was ringing off the hook. Ollie was screaming orders into his cell phone.
“You better be at her fucking jet in three hours or you’re fired, Captain!” He hung up. Ollie ran his fingers through is hair. It was as unruly as I’d ever seen it. The man was worried about me. Dean’s phone started ringing again.
“Oh, God, please just answer the phone.” I croaked and leaned my head against the cool window pane.
“We’re leaving.” He paused. “Don’t even think about it, Partner!” He breathed deep through his nose. “Safe, don’t worry.” Dean’s tone held a scary edge to it.
“Yeah, well you should of fucking thought about that before you decided to kiss your ex. Asshole!” Dean hung up and the tears welled again. Just when I thought I had controlled them for a moment they scuttled down my face. I just let them fall.
***
She sobbed against my chest. I tried the best I could, saying anything, everything that would calm the woman down. Susie was special to me. She
was.
I shushed her, patted her back, held her until her lips trailed up my neck and before I knew what was happening her lips were on mine. The feel of her mouth; wet, warm, and familiar. It wasn’t what I wanted, what I craved. My arms flew out and almost shoved the woman from my chest.
“What the fuck are you doing, Susie!”
“Hank, you want it as badly as I do! I can feel it. Don’t fight it. We’re both free now. We can be together again. Raise that family you want so badly!”
“No, Susie. We can’t go back. I can never go back. You took something from me and I’ll never forgive you. Never.” The anger that boiled in me from ten years past bubbled to the surface and spilled over. “I don’t fucking love you. Maybe at one time I did, but that was a long time ago. I have everything I could ever want or need now!”
“She won’t be what you need her to be, Hank. She’s not capable of it!” Her voice was scathing and jilted. The cry of a desperate woman. It sickened me to see what she’d become.
“Don’t you get it? She’s what I need. The woman she is. Yes, she’s a city girl, and damned if I ever thought I’d fall for a woman that was all kinds of wrong. But you know what, Susie? It’s so right. When I’m with her there’s nothin’ else, and I want to be that man for her. Only her.”
“No, Hank. Please, please give us a second chance,” she begged. I shook my head and turned on my heel to find my Angel. I’d been gone a long time and she must be panicked or drunk by now. The thought of my Angel tipsy, laughing those sweet laughs, hanging out with her best buddy and his watchdog of a man tickled me to no end. They were my new family now and that gave me great joy. Gave me hope. That door to the past was shut forever. It couldn’t hurt me anymore.
I made my way through the throngs of people, searching for my Angel in white but she was nowhere to be seen. Then I realized that neither were Dean or Oliver. I enlisted my brother and his wife to help me find them. The property was big but they couldn’t have gotten far. We checked the house, the yards, the stables, the barn, nothing. Until Old Man Henry finally came up to me.
“Boy, didn’t you drive your truck here?”
It dawned on me that when I checked the front I hadn’t come across my truck. It was gone along with my girl and her two friends.
What in the hell was going on?
Aspen had left her phone back at the ranch so I didn’t bother calling it. Oliver’s line repeatedly went to voicemail, so I called Dean.
Dean answered after several attempts. “Dean, what’s going on, where are you? Where’s Aspen?”
“We’re leaving.” His voice was cold, very unlike the smooth-talking fella I was used to.
“What the hell do you mean, you’re leavin’? What’s going on? Just stay at the ranch, I’ll jump in my brother’s truck.”
“Don’t even think about it, partner!” Dean’s voice was angry, madder than hell, and I hadn’t the slightest idea why.
“Dean, where is she?” I begged.
“Safe, don’t worry.”
“Don’t tell me not to worry about the woman I love, Dean!” I screamed into the phone.
“Yeah, well you should have fucking thought about that before you decided to kiss your ex. Asshole!” The line went dead, and so did my heart.
I threw the phone down to the grass and looked up at the heavens. “FUCK!” I screamed and my brother came running over.
Oh God in Heaven, NO!
“Did you find her?” Heath, Ma, and Jess were at my side in a second.
“She’s gone!” I closed my eyes and let the fear swim a circle around my body then rush in waves over every pore.
“What in the dickens do you mean, she’s gone?”
“Christ, Ma, I messed up. I messed up bad.” My shoulders sagged and she pulled me into her arms.
“Oh, Punky, no. Tell me what happened. You know your Mama can fix anythin’,” she cooed.
“Not this time. I’ve lost her.”
Dean’s words screamed through my head like a high powered locomotive.
“You should have fucking thought about that before you decided to kiss your ex. Asshole!”
She knew. I don’t know how or why, I just know that she found out about the conversation Susie and I had. She knew about the kiss. What she needed to know was that it wasn’t what she thought. That I loved and wanted her.
Only
her.
“Give me your keys, Heath!”
“No way, Hank. You’re in no place to drive,” he warned.
“Give me the goddamned KEYS!” I roared at my brother.
“Settle down. I’ll drive!” he screamed. “Take care of the kids and Jess, Ma!” Heath hollered over his shoulder as we ran as fast as our boots would take us, hopping in the truck and heading to my girl. I prayed that I could talk some sense into her. Losing the best thing that had ever happened to me was not in my cards. It just couldn’t be. I’d fix it and fix it fast! She’d listen. God willing, she’d listen.
They were nowhere to be found when we arrived; lock, stock, and smokin’ barrel at the ranch. I ran through the house like a horse at full gallop, but there was nothin’ for me to find. They’d left. My truck haphazardly parked in the driveway, the back door still wide open. They’d left in a hurry, and with the kind of money and a private jet that my Angel owned, there was no luck she’d be waiting at the airport.
Heath gripped my shoulder and patted my back. “What happened, bro? Why’d your girl high-tail it outta here?”
I explained the whole story to him over several beers. At least my brother had the decency to see me through it, let me talk it out. I told him everything about Susie and our past, shit he’d never known. When I left Susie all those years ago, they all thought it was because I’d lost interest or she cheated. I’d never told anyone the real reason. The one thing I couldn’t forgive her for. The reason why I’d left.
Heath took his hat off and pushed his fingers through his hair, repeatedly shaking his head. Butch pushed through the screen door and sat on my feet then leaned his furry body against my leg. His head provided a welcomed comfort against my thigh. Man’s best friend for sure.
“I had no idea, bro. Sayin’ sorry doesn’t seem quite good enough.” He took a long pull from his beer and I followed suit.
“Nope, it doesn’t. I still can’t believe she pushed to get me back, and because of her, the one fucking woman that’d hurt me the most, I’m losing the best thing I’ve ever had. She’s taking her away from me too, bro.”
“Nah, you’ll get her back. You just got to talk to her. Tell her about what happened with Susie way back. Then tell her about what you think she already saw, but explain your side.” He paused and then looked at me. “Aspen’s it for you. I knew the second I saw you huggin’ on her. You treat her like there is no other woman in the world. Just like my Jess. She’s my only. She’s my life. Aspen’s yours.” I nodded. There was no denying that. He continued, “Even if she is a fancy city girl from NYC. We don’t get to choose who makes us right, Hank.”
“No we don’t. But I’m going to do it right this time. I’m going all in. She admitted she loved me. Fuck! That was just last night, bro, and I’ve already screwed it up!” My arms physically ached to hold my Angel. I needed to bury my face in the crook of her warm neck, smell her vanilla goodness and taste her honey lips and body. Only then would everything be right again.
“So what are you gonna do?”
“I’m going back to the job I started. Doc said I could go back to desk work and manning the jobsite as long as I didn’t do any of the lifting or physical work.”
“Okay, then what?”
“Then I’m going to start putting in for loans to get the capital I need to expand Jensen Construction.”
“You could always sell your half of the family ranch. That would give you the funding you need,” he offered. I loved my brother more in that moment than I ever did before. He’d be willing to have to deal with an outside party owning half his company to help me. To make me happy.
“Not ever gonna happen. That’s for Jensen’s only. No way, no how, would I ever sell my half of our family business. Our kids will be gettin’ the ranch one day. You hear me?” He nodded.
“I will tell you, though, that I have some options with Oliver. If he’ll talk to me.” I sighed. “He had some good ideas, but I’d have to buckle down and be humble to it.” I’d gnawed the inside of my cheek to painful proportions thinking this plan through.