An Unbreakable Bear: BBW Shifter Romance (3 page)

“Don’t say anything.” He was done talking.

Another break, they leaned against a tree and scuttled forward with tiny steps and movements. Their progress felt small, but at least it was something.

It took another two hours before they saw the edge of the forest. Normally the mile would have taken someone no more than twenty minutes, but the slightest movement shot pain through them both, so each step was barely a few inches.

A
car was coming. Ian tried waving them down, but it just kept going. Shit.

“I thought it was over when we got to the edge.” Dallas cried. “I need to sit. I can’t keep going. I’m getting dizzy.”

“You can’t quit now.” How could she give up? They made it this far.

“Please, just for a minute. I need to sit down.” She pleaded with him.

Ian nodded and sat with her. He hated to see her cry. He gently brushed the hair back from her face. “Shh, we’re almost there. It will be over soon.”

She looked at him, and sucked her lip in. She didn’t mean to cry. It was all so overwhelming. “I didn’t think, and I ended up hurting somebody. I hurt you. I didn’t mean to.” She placed her hand over his. “Truly, I’m so sorry.”

Ian looked into her eyes. She was sincere. He could hold a grudge for the rest of his life or let her off the hook. “It happened. Let’s just get help. I’m worried about your foot getting infected.”

She looked at him incredulously. “Why would you worry about me? I did this.”

“We’re in this together now, remember.”

He saw the weight drop off of her shoulders. “I’m so sorry.” The tears turned into sobs.

Ian wrapped his arm around her and pulled her closer. Speaking quietly, he urged her to keep moving. “Come on, let’s go get help.”

His arms were strong and muscled. For the first time of the day, she felt secure. He could have torn into her, been so much uglier, meaner, made her guilt grow unsurmountable, but here he was trying to make
her
feel better.

Finally, after what felt like forever, a pick-up truck pulled to the side of the road. The driver got out. “What happened to the two of you? Are you okay?”

“It’s a long story. Is there any way you can take us to the hospital?” Ian asked.

He helped them into the back of the truck. Climbing into the cab might have been harder, trying to squeeze everyone into the space.

Dallas bit her lip, the searing pain was unbearable. She held back the tears the best she was able. Settling into the truck bed, she leaned against a sideboard as the man drove them to the hospital. Ian thanked the driver profusely, and then went inside the hospital with Dallas.

A security guard brought a wheelchair over on seeing them pull up.

“Take her first, she has a gunshot wound,” Ian directed.

“Ian,” she called out, not sure what to say. She wasn’t ready to part ways.

“Go! I’ll check on you later.” He limped on his lame leg and fell into the admissions counter of the emergency room, hugging onto it for dear life.

They moved him to triage and then to a curtained off room. He suddenly realized the gravity of his own situation. His adrenalin was coming down and the pain was greater than he knew it could be. Shock had buffered him previously, but now on the hospital bed, the pain shattered him.

The doctors were talking fast and moving faster. He was losing track. There were streams of words and he was pretty sure at one point they were directed at him, but all he could hear were Dallas’s groans as they worked to remove her shoe. She needed stronger meds, they both did. As the drip started into his arm, calmness washed over him.

He wanted to help her. He wanted to comfort her. And yet she was a stranger. She was the reason he was here. They were better off parting ways. She wasn’t his responsibility.

The doctors spoke... “May need to remove a portion of your leg...toxins from damaged tissue...organs...bloodstream...”

Ian was drifting on the high of the medication. Relief was coming fast. He was exhausted. He tried to focus on the words, but his mind was clouded. He nodded along, as if he knew what they were talking about.

The doctors were still speaking. “We need to see if the muscle is dead. Our goal is to stop hypotension, which can occur when the fluids of your body pool to the damaged area, leaving vital organs in danger.  We’re also concerned about debris and myoglobin from the dead muscle tissue causing kidney problems.”

Ian nodded and then drifted off. A pleasant detached feeling eased his ails. His thoughts bounced around to Dallas and the two of them hobbling together...her long blonde hair...sheep, something about sheep...Dallas leaning against him. She was so soft and pretty. He needed to see her again.

D
allas went into surgery. The surgeons did an extensive clean out of debris and foreign matter, along with looking for fractured and splintered bone. They needed to remove bullet fragments, dirt, and rock. Once the basics were done, it was time to try to repair nerves, joint cartilage, tendons, and muscle. She’d go through negative pressure wound therapy and have her bandages changed often. It was more complex than she could have imagined. Skin grafting was healing now. She would be braced up so the foot repairs would have time to knit together as well.

She hoped somebody was looking after her sheep. In a panic about her farm, she finally reached a friend. Not to worry, they’d make sure everything was okay. The community would pool together to help pay for extra help during her recovery if need be. Her family was part of the community for years. Her parents had helped many others when their neighbors were down, and they were there to return the favor. She was overwhelmed by the generosity.

***

S
he didn’t expect to see Ian again, certainly not at the hospital or with a look of concern. What she expected was anger and bitterness. The nurse’s aide left him in a wheelchair next to her hospital bed. Ian thanked the aide for her help.

“Sure thing; I’ll be back for you in an hour. You have therapy later.” She turned to leave.

“Ian?” Dallas wasn’t sure what to say. She couldn’t stop staring at his face.

“Hey. How are you doing?” His voice was soft. He wasn’t angry. He was worried about her.

Dallas stared at the man, not sure what to say. She felt the tears welling up in her eyes. She looked away, not wanting him to see. “I’m sorry,” she finally said. “I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t. What’s done is done.”

“I can’t take it back. How are...” she stopped in her tracks, looking down. The tears started again. “I’m so sorry.”

He was still coming to terms with losing his lower leg, but to see her reaction burned. He saw the pain and guilt she was shouldering, and understood it, but there were no guarantees in life. It came down to complications, recovery times, problems that could arise over the next few weeks or months, and with too much risk to his organs with toxins and debris in his bloodstream, he opted for the amputation.

She finally found her voice again. “Your leg...”

Ian nodded. “It had to come off.” The adjustment was one that would take time. They’d fit him for a prosthetic, but when it came down to it, what’s done was done. He made his peace after he came out of surgery. Going in, he wasn’t so sure. It was a scary choice and he was groggy. He had to trust the doctors and didn’t have time to weigh a lot of options. He heard words, explanations, and then he woke up from surgery with part of a limb gone. When it came down to it, he had to decide on his leg or his life...and he chose life.

The guilt burdened Dallas in ways she didn’t even know she was capable of feeling. Shame clouded over her like a dark storm. She tried not to stare. He watched her reaction. Would she see him as less of a man?

“Why are you here?” She stiffened, guarding herself. “What do you want from me? Just have your lawyer contact me and we’ll take care of things. It’s obvious you wanted me to see...”

Ian waited as she rambled defensively. “Are you finished yet?”

Dallas closed her eyes to collect her thoughts and let out an exasperated sigh. “I guess I am.”

“I’m here to see how you’re making out. How are you feeling?” He was sincere.

“Why?” She was torn. If she let down her guard, he might get to her. And yet, her heart lifted on seeing him. “I’m dosed up on medication, but we’re going to start weaning them down. I’m going home soon. You?”

He shrugged. “When they release me, I guess. I haven’t been given a date yet. They mentioned something about transferring me to a rehab for therapy, but it’s not set in stone.”

“I can’t remember if I thanked you. I would have never gotten out on my own.” The emotions bubbled up as she lost control. “I was horrified, scared, and in so much pain. And seeing you there, knowing I was responsible...and you know, the whole bear thing kind of freaked me out...and...” She was rambling again.

“Do you want me to go?” Ian asked. “I can leave you alone. I should have asked before I came here.”

“No. Please stay. I just don’t know whether you hate me or why you’re here. I’d hate you if the circumstances were reversed.” She was confused.

Ian agreed. “I get that. I was angry...really mad. I even hated you for a while. That’s why I didn’t come by at first. I needed to work through that. And yet I was torn up inside, shredded, not knowing if you were okay. They wouldn’t tell me anything about you because I’m not family. They weren’t allowed.”

“Look, your responsibility to me is over. You’re a hero. You did your job. Go live your life and don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine and make a full recovery. It might go slowly, but it will happen. It’s not your job to check on me. Can’t you see I’m bad news?” She had no idea how she’d manage on the farm. She’d need to hire help that she couldn’t afford. The community stepped in, but they could only do that for so long.

“Is this the part where you want me to feel sorry for you? Yeah, I don’t. It’s not pity that brought me here, but the woman that pulled up strength from deep inside to get out of the forest. That’s who I came to see. The warrior and beautiful goddess that overcame her fears and pain and worked as a team to get us help.” Ian stated his case.

Dallas was stunned. Her heart beat louder than thunder, booming in her chest. “Warrior? Beautiful goddess? Is that what you see? I see a trembling, weak woman hating herself for hurting you. How can you sit there and be nice to me? Yell at me. Do something, just make me pay for what I did to you?” The tears came fast and hard.

“Would it make you feel better? Would it change anything? That’s not the answer. What happened was an accident. The timing, the circumstances, we couldn’t have known what we’d be in for that day.” He shook his head. How could she not see it that way?

“You lost your leg in one of my traps. How can you sit there and be nice to me?” Her agitation rose, the panic grabbing her by the throat. She pleaded, “Please, tell me how horrible I am. Tell me that I ruined your life and you hope that I suffer for what I did.” Dallas couldn’t stop crying.

Ian reached forward and took her hand. “I forgive you. Let go of the pain that’s washing over you. Don’t let it hold you a prisoner for life.”

Dallas looked into Ian’s eyes and saw something she’d never noticed before. A flicker, a glow, radiance that was shining back at her...almost like he was healed being around her. Did he want to be sitting by her side? Dallas swallowed hard. “Thank you,” was all she could whisper.

I
an needed to say good-bye. Their time had been tumultuous, filled with spiked emotions. His ride was there, and he was finally going home. A nurse wheeled Ian into Dallas’s room. He’d be allowed to use crutches when he left the hospital, but it was strict hospital policy to transport him this way when he wasn’t with a therapist. Ian wanted to see her face again, wish her well, and then let go and move on. When he got there, she was gone.

No explanation, no note, just an empty made-up bed. She’d checked out before him and didn’t say good-bye. Ian’s gut twisted. “Right,” he said to the nurse, “I guess we’re finished here.” He wanted to say good-bye. She obviously didn’t. He got it. They were strangers. Who cares that they went through something traumatic together? It didn’t bond them for life. He was foolish to think otherwise.

The dead weight of a boulder sat on Ian’s chest. She was gone. Just like that. Gone. Why did he want to see her anyway? Hell, she was responsible for all of this. He was better off remembering that important detail. She’d stolen his leg, his life as he knew it, and she was better out of his life than in it. He wanted to be angry, to hate her with every ounce of his being, but he knew it was a lie. He just wanted to see her face again.

Ian thought about his leg as the nurse wheeled him back to his room. In bear mode, how will it feel to run with three legs in place of four? His balance, his power, and his place in life had all changed. Ian scowled; she ruined him. This was her fault. He needed to pound that into his head. Instead, his heart thundered and his mind circled the thought of her like a python wrapping around its prey. He couldn’t let go. Ian’s shoulders sank lower as his heart crumbled into pieces. He was dizzy with confusion. How could she have left without saying good-bye?

Returning to his room, he saw her sitting at his bedside, waiting on his return. “There you are,” she said.

“You came?” Ian felt the boulder fall from his chest.

Dallas was surprised. “How could I not say good-bye?”

“I thought you were here going to be here longer? I have no way to contact...” He stopped mid-sentence, his heart in his throat. “Probably better that way. Anyway, good luck.” He stuck out his hand, trying to distance himself the best he was able. Getting attached wasn’t an option.

“The doctor released me. My wounds are healing better and quicker than he expected. I’ve got a long way to go still, but he thinks I can leave the hospital and round the clock care,” she explained. “You can contact me. I just assumed you wouldn’t want to. I mean...” She looked down, unable to finish, swallowed in guilt.