America's Bravest (38 page)

“Thanks for coming. I, um…”
Jesús,
his eyes welled and he battled the emotion back. “I’m taking a
position at the Fire Academy, effective next tour.”

Gabe recoiled. “Why would you do that? You’re
one of the best line firefighters I’ve ever worked with.”

Syd, next to him, put her hand on his arm and
squeezed. Her face was glum despite the bright red sweatshirt she
wore. “What made you decide?”

“Sophia and I have been separated for almost
a month, Gabe. I didn’t tell you because you’re my officer and I
didn’t want you to worry about my performance.”

“Damn it, Tony. I thought we were friends.
And as captain, I didn’t worry when O’Malley went off the deep end
for Emma, when Felicia had to take a leave because of Ryan. Hell, I
was a basket case over Rachel myself.” He drew in a breath to calm
himself. “But let’s table that for now. Why are you separated?”

“After Teddy Thompson over in Camden Cove
died in that fire last year, Sophia wigged out. She got all worried
and nervous like she did after 9/11 and then Sinco. Only this time,
the worry didn’t go away. She has anxiety attacks over my job.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.” Gabe’s tone was
genuine.

“I’ve been living at Brody’s place, so him
and Licia know. And I confessed to Syd the day we trained at the
Academy.”

“Tony, you didn’t do anything wrong to
confess
.” Felicia’s eyes were warm and supportive. “You’re
in a no-win position.”

“I was, but there’s more to why.”

He explained about Miguel.

Brody rolled his eyes. “Tough, brother, when
it hits your kids that way. Wives sign on for the job. Children
don’t.”

“Then I got trapped and it scared the shit
out of me, not because of my safety, but I was terrified of what
would happen to Sophia and the kids if I died that night. That’s no
way to do my job.”

“You did your job better than I did at Green
Ridge.” Sydney was still touching him. “But I can see why you quit
the line.”

“There wasn’t another way out.”

“What are you gonna do at the Academy?” Brody
asked.

“Work with the new recruit class.”

That
they did tease him about.

Then things got quiet.

“Okay, I gotta say it.” This from Felicia.
“Are you positive this is the right thing to do, Tony?”

He averted his gaze for a minute. Then
nodded.

“I’m not sure I’d do it for Ryan.”

“I’d do it for Emma,” Brody put in. “If she
was in Sophia’s spot. No offense guys, but she’s more important to
me than you are.” He zeroed in on Felicia. “And you can say all you
want you wouldn’t do it for Rye, but it’s because you know you’ll
never have to. He’s in his own dangerous job. Same goes for you,
Cap, because Rachel’s a firefighter, too.”

“I suppose.”

Tony let them debate that until they wound
down. He took a few sips of beer, gripping the mug tightly. When
they were done, he said simply, “I’m gonna miss you guys.”

They all protested.…

“Hey, we’ll still get together.”

“We’ll make time.”

“We’re not lettin’ you go that easy.”

Tony scanned the faces of his brothers and
sisters. “I know you mean all that. But, if nothing else, we live
in the real world. It’ll never be the same.”

“Never?” Syd asked, her voice hoarse. “What
about when the class is over?”

Fuck
, he thought they understood he
wouldn’t be coming back. “Things won’t have changed with Sophia,
so, yeah, never. Though Callahan did say he’d was gonna sub people
in for me until the class was done. But this is my final decision.”
He stood, unable to contain the swell of emotion inside him. “I
gotta go.”

“Want some company?” Now Syd sounded
desperate.

“No, I need to be alone.” He reached for his
wallet.

Gabe stayed his hand. “Don’t insult us.”

Again, he nodded.

Tony made it to the car, out of the parking
lot and down to a nearby church where he pulled in. He drove to the
end where it was deserted and turned off the engine.

Then he put his head down on the steering
wheel and lost it.

“This is so cool,” Miguel said as he
approached the roller coaster where screeches and hollering
practically drowned out his words. “Will you come on with me,
Dad?”

Tony rolled his eyes at Sophia, who was
carrying Mari’s cotton candy. They both knew he hated roller
coasters. So she jumped in. “I’ll go,
hijo
.”

“I want Dad.”

Miguel had been clingy since the night a week
ago when he’d run away to Tony’s then-dwelling. Her husband had
been living at home for seven days and everybody was happier. But
the boy’s behavior had been different around his father.

Interrupting the disturbing thought, Gabe’s
son Joey came running to them, followed by Gabe and Lilliana. Joey
pointed to the ride. “Wanna go on the Beast, Miguel?” He peered at
Gabe. “We can go alone, right?”

“I think so.” Gabe’s eyes twinkled. “I’ll
come with you and watch.”

Tony stood. “No, I will.” Sophia noticed he’d
shunned his buddies today at the annual HFCD Fall Family Day at an
amusement park outside of Hidden Cove.

After the guys left, Mari said, “Mommy, Lily
and I wanna go on the teacups.”

When Sophia stood, Gabe slid his arm around
her. “Let’s go chaperone.”

They passed clowns, a child’s race car ride
and a stand selling fried dough—which smelled heavenly—to get to
the teacups. She sat on the bench with Gabe. It was a beautiful
day, but despite the warm sun, Sophia was glad for the black jeans
and light cotton sweater she wore with tennis shoes.

Finally, she broached the subject on both
their minds. “This is awkward,” she said.

Gabe shook his head. “It doesn’t have to be.
For what it’s worth, if Rachel asked me to quit my job, I
would.”

For some reason, emotion clogged her throat.
“Thanks for telling me that.”

She watched the teacups spin in their peacock
blue and bright pink splendor and then confessed, “I’d fix this if
there was another way, Gabe.”

“I know you would. Nobody blames you.”

“I doubt that.”

“No, really, we’re all family. We want what’s
best for both of you. Tony can survive not being on the line, but
he could never make it without you, Soph.” He smiled sardonically.
“I’m beginning to understand that feeling.”

She socked his arm. “Madly in love, aren’t
you, guy?”

“Yeah.” His face reddened. “I can’t believe
how much.”

“Speak of the devil.” Sophia watched Gabe’s
wife come toward them, cute in simple blue pants and a white cotton
T-shirt. When she shot a glance at Gabe, the expression on his face
moved Sophia. Briefly, she wondered if Tony would keep looking at
her the way Gabe looked at his wife, now that she’d deprived him of
something so sacred to him. She’d been having that thought a lot
lately.

The three adults chatted until the rides
ended and they hooked up with the boys.

“We want to go on the flume ride next.”

Gabe shook his head. “Great. We’ll get wet.”
He faced Tony. “Come on,
bombero,
let’s take the boys on
it.”

Tony’s face blanked. Then he said, “Can’t. I
promised Mari I’d go on the baby coaster with her. I think I can
handle that one. We’ll take Lily with us. Set up a meet time with
Sophia.”

Then he was off.

Gabe turned to Sophia. “What’s that all
about?”

She bit her lip. “I think it’s too hard being
with you all right now.”

Rachel leaned over and slid her arm around
Sophia’s shoulder. “I’m sorry, Soph. But it’ll all work out in the
end.”

Would it?
she wondered briefly. Or
had she made the biggest mistake of her life by forcing her husband
to leave his beloved job?

oOo

“The fire department is a paramilitary
organization.” Battalion Chief Jeb Caruso, who ran the show at the
Academy, stood before the fifteen men and women of the 2011 Recruit
Class at the Anderson County Fire Academy, which serviced all
surrounding area fire departments. “You should view your time here
as boot camp.”

All newbies stood stone still, staring ahead,
dressed in fatigue uniforms: long-sleeved light blue shirts, navy
pants, black ties and hats with wide brims covering their eyes.

Caruso continued. “First, you need to know
that this training will be one of the most significant sixteen
weeks of your life. You measure up and you’re a career firefighter.
If you don’t, you’re out and miss the chance of a lifetime.”

A few of the young men and women shifted from
foot to foot. Though there were often second career recruits in
their late thirties or even forties, this group appeared to be in
their twenties. A lot of hopes were going to be realized or dashed
in the next four months. Tony remembered his own Academy days when
he’d excelled at everything. Funny, he didn’t feel that
good
at life lately, though things were better at
home.

Jeb continued speaking. “I’m going to
introduce the head of this recruit class, Battalion Chief Olive
Hennessy, who will be in charge of your training.

Tony smiled at the choice of a woman for this
big job. Noah Callahan really did believe in equality. Though some
guys hated having women in authority, Tony didn’t. And he knew
Olive, having worked with her on Engine 3 in the early years of
their careers. She was a top-notch firefighter and a good
person.

Tall and confident, Olive approached the
podium and didn’t smile; she addressed the recruits soberly. “Your
days at the Academy will simulate an average firehouse’s routine.
We arrive at promptly 0700 hours, check the rigs and start all the
equipment, like the trucks, power and pry tools. Roll call is at
eight. Make sure you’re dressed correctly or you’ll receive
demerits.”

She went on to outline the rest of their
duties: several hours of classes, cooking lunch or dinner, training
with all kinds of equipment and cleaning up the rooms used. The
Academy consisted of the huge gym, where they were now, several
fitness training stations, a stage, a maze, lockers, a kitchen,
classrooms, the EMS office, administrative offices and bays. There
was also a four-storey tower in back of the parking lot, where
fires were simulated with white mist, which could blind you as much
as real smoke. Recruits, as well as veteran firefighters and
specialty teams, all used the grounds for training.

Then Olive introduced the officers in charge
of various areas—curriculum, Hazmat, EMS—the trainer from the high
school recruitment division, of which Tony had once been a member,
and then the line guys. She gave a bit more information, convened
roll call and started an inspection.

Ed Snyder joined Tony from where he’d stood
off to the side. “Wanna go pick on some of the cherries with me,
Ramirez?”

“Nope.”

“Why not? We’re supposed to.”

Tony eyed the lieutenant from Engine 4 who
gave everybody grief. Tony didn’t understand how he’d ever become
an officer. “I didn’t realize you were still here.”

Snyder’s craggy face scowled. “Smoke
inhalation and burns from the fucking torch take a long time to
heal.” His eyes narrowed. “I wasn’t lucky like O’Malley to get time
off when I got hurt.”

“Brody was banged up good.”

“Yeah, yeah. You rescue guys got the
juice.”

He didn’t ask Tony why he was there, which
was good. Snyder would probably spread it around that Tony was
pussy whipped. An unwanted question popped into his mind: Was
he?

Tony lagged behind Snyder going down the
rows. He complimented the recruits, gently tipped hats to indicate
the right set on the head and casually straightened a collar, while
Snyder insulted their shoe polish jobs and how their ties were
knotted.

After inspection, the group headed to their
lockers to change for fitness class.

The staff gathered around Olive. “Hi, all.
Sorry I didn’t get to greet you in orientation, but I had a family
emergency.”

Snyder mumbled something about women under
his breath.

“But anyway, welcome to those of you here by
choice and those drafted.”

Some good-natured joking. Training recruits
was not a plum assignment. Tony had given up something most of the
HCFD members wanted—a spot on the Rescue Squad—for it.

Olive handed out a sheet of paper. “Here are
your assignments for this week. I tried to accommodate your
preferences on where to work, but know you’ll be pitching in where
needed.”

Tony’s name was under “physical fitness.”

That was good. At least he could run off some
of the pent up feelings he had at the thought of no real
firefighting coming his way today—or ever again.

oOo

“I love you so much,
mi amore,”
Sophia said as Tony thrust inside her.

“Not as much as I love you
.”

She heard the words, wanted to say no, she
loved him as much, but she didn’t. Instead, she closed her eyes,
arched her back and lifted her hips.

Afterward, they lay together in their bed,
breathing hard. She cuddled close to him, hearing his heart thump
against her ear, smelling his unique scent, familiar to her since
she was fourteen. She began to rub his chest. “You didn’t say much
about your time at the Academy.”

A slight tension invaded his body. “It’s
okay. I got to work out a lot with the recruits, which was
great.”

“Hmm. Talk to me about what you do
there.”

“We went on our first Confidence Walk
today.”

“What are they?”

Absently, he brushed his fingers down her
arm. “They’re grueling outdoor mile walks, where the recruits have
to dress in full firefighter attire, air pack included.”

“That doesn’t sound too bad.”

“Said the woman who never wore sixty pounds
of gear. It’s in the middle of the day, so they get hot, though not
as hot as in a fire. Today we kept them on an even slope, but next
week it’ll be hills. We also go up and down the four flights of
stairs in the training tower several times.”