American Elsewhere (45 page)

MICHAEL DERN
: What do you feel is the problem?

: It’s the math. Listen, I… I know this theory is popular. The multiverse theory, or what have you. Of course it is, it’s dippy and crazy and fun. But the math isn’t right. They can always adjust for whatever results they get. Nothing can get disproven. And if nothing can get disproven, nothing can get proven, Michael. And while I think
is making progress in a lot of fields, they’re not the ones we’re supposed to be making progress in. We have not found any evidence that we are anywhere close to simulating suspended bruising. Nor have we found any evidence—hard evidence, mind—that the phenomena we’re witnessing, if we could call them that, are a result of bruising.
which I know is just his absolute baby, is an impressive device that has led to remarkable breakthroughs in particle physics. None of which he was looking for.

MICHAEL DERN
: None of which you were looking for either. You helped design it. A lot of this was your idea.

[
PAUSE
]: Yeah. Yeah. But. I mean, eventually you have to grow up, don’t you?

MICHAEL DERN
: How do you dispute the photon signature?

: I dispute it because the two signatures—which appear to be the same, but, again, they can prove anything, because of how they’re fiddling with the math—appeared an insignificant distance apart. I saw nothing suggesting transportation. It’s not what we wanted to see.

MICHAEL DERN
: What you wanted to see.

: No. No, it’s not what I wanted to see. I wanted to see something much larger. I don’t know. I wanted to be talking nanometers, not Planck’s lengths. Millimeters, even. Fuck, centimeters.

MICHAEL DERN
: That’s… extreme.

: Well, we wanted extreme. What we were first shooting at—when we were using solid numbers, I mean—was something extreme. If we could honestly induce subatomic aphasia—really, really create our own bruising—then we would be seeing something extreme. Significant displacement. Indisputable duplication. I don’t know. That’s the thing. We just didn’t know. And here we are. Now, I know
are all excited over this. But they have their own
club, and, you know, they all get together and titter over things. And yeah, it’s not fun that I’m excluded from that group just because
. But I’m being impartial here. I really am. I don’t think they’re right. Even if they’re using my math, my research. And the fucking competition…

MICHAEL DERN
: You think it’s harmful?

: Are you stupid? Of course it’s harmful! We’ve got all these people who do essentially the same thing, many of whom have been rivals for a damn long time, all cooped up in the desert spending their time inside a fucking mountain not getting the results they wanted. It’s shark-infested waters here, Mike. Even if the sharks are wearing… what’s that sweater that
wears?