Always Loving You (14 page)

Dominic sank back into his chair, releasing a breath. “Nothing has happened between us. She doesn’t even know. I mean, we live in the same apartment building, so I see her around a lot.”

“So you lusted after Gwen or whatever you want to call it the whole time I was dating her?”

Dominic looked pained as he admitted, “Well, yeah, that’s about right.”

Mac shook his head in disgust. “Shit, Dom, why didn’t you say something? I’d never have asked her out the first time if I’d known.”

Dominic looked away before saying quietly, “You needed her more. Ava has kept you tied in knots for years. I figured if there was someone to get you away from all that, then what I wanted didn’t really matter.”

“Dom, brother,” Mac began, feeling at a loss for words.

“Does anyone else feel like we’re having our own
Oprah Winfrey Show
? Just sayin’ . . . ,” Gage said with what was almost a straight face. Luckily, his comment had effectively broken the tension that had been building in the room, and Mac was grateful.

“Um . . . yeah, let’s get back on track,” Mac replied. “First, though, Dom, if you like Gwen, then you have my blessing. She’s a very nice woman, and you had better treat her as such. I’m just gonna assume that this sudden BFF thing that you were doing with Ava had something to do with that.” Holding up his hand when Dominic would have answered, he added, “Let’s just leave it at that. I may have to kill Gage if he makes another comment, and we need to finish this meeting and get back to work.”

“I never get any appreciation around here,” Gage grumbled as they started going through the assignments for the day.

Mac smothered a grin, thinking how odd it was that all three of them seemed to have some type of woman problems. If misery loved company, then he finally had someone around to share it with. Thing was, though, his misery seemed to be ending while theirs was just beginning. He’d try not to enjoy it too much, since his brothers had been there for him through years of bad moods and moping around. But, damn, he wanted to relish it . . . just a little.

*   *   *

Ava and Emma had been working steadily all morning on a presentation that Ava planned to make to a potential new customer the next day. When they stopped to have a much-needed break and a cup of coffee, Ava attempted to sound casual and said, “So, I stayed the night with Mac last night and I accidentally attacked him this morning.”

Emma cursed as she took a big gulp of her hot coffee. “Ugh! Why did you do that to me? Couldn’t you have given me some warning before blurting out something like that?” Wiggling her tongue around as if trying to cool it off, she set her cup down and glared at Ava. “Okay, let’s try that again.”

Ava couldn’t control the grin that covered her face at Emma’s disgruntled but still overly curious expression. “I stayed the night with Mac, but then had a nightmare this morning and . . . scratched him all up.” Shaking her head, she added, “He looked terrible.”

Emma’s eyes were wide as she said, “Wow! Wait a minute. Am I the first person you’ve told about this? I’m still pissed that you told Suzy about the first time with Mac. I would have totally dumped your brother for lunch that day had you given me any indication that you had some big news to share. Speaking of . . . was it big—news?”

“Oh my God,” Ava groaned, “I can’t believe you asked that too! What is it with the women here and their fixation on men’s penis sizes?”

“Ah, come on. Half the men here walk around so damn cocky, ha-ha, pun intended, that you want to know if there’s something to back that swagger up. Suzy, Claire, Beth, and Ella all swear that their men are packing some serious digits, and it’s for damn sure that your brother is . . .”

“Gross! Must all our conversations include something about sex or Brant’s body parts? He might be your fiancé and apparently you two go at it like damn horny rabbits, but
he is my brother
! I really don’t need to know if he’s big, small, or makes your eyes roll back in your head within thirty seconds—just yuck!”

Almost as if Ava hadn’t just finished a rant, Emma said, “So you’re saying he’s big, right?”

Ava picked a folder up from her desk and smacked it against her own forehead several times before dropping it. In a resigned voice she said, “Yes, damn you, he is.”

“I knew it! Honey, those cargo pants don’t hide anything. Same goes for Dominic and Gage. They might as well be holding up a sign next to their crotch that says XL,” Emma joked.

Ava stared at her future sister-in-law and thought, yet again, that her brother had his work cut out for him. Of course, considering that he had always been a complete stuffed shirt, Emma was the best thing to have ever happened to him. “Does Brant know that you stare at the front of every man’s pants in this building? Probably in Myrtle Beach as well? I mean, how do you do that without them noticing?”

“I could teach you,” Emma offered.

Surprised, Ava asked, “Really? Like how . . .
No
! I don’t want to know. Please, let’s just change the subject.”

Grinning at her slip, Emma said, “Okay, but if you change your mind . . . So, anyway, what happened with the whole bad dream thing this morning? I mean, do you remember what you were dreaming about when you went postal?”

Ava sat back in her chair, flipping a paper clip between her fingers. “Yeah, it was . . . about the guy who raped me. It wasn’t like the first time I’ve dreamed about it, but this was different, more like it was happening now, and I was defending myself. It was still him, though. I was so determined that he wouldn’t win this time. I was fighting him with everything I had. Mac finally woke me up by yelling at me to stop and had to keep me from ripping him apart. He . . . he had blood dripping down his face, Em. I let him keep things light afterward, but I seriously wanted to have a huge crying fit knowing that I’d done that to him. I just don’t understand why it happened.”

All seriousness now, Emma moved to the edge of
her seat, her eyes full of support and sympathy. “It might have scared you, and it most assuredly scared Mac, but I don’t think it’s that strange, considering what happened to you—”

“I get that,” Ava interrupted, “but before when I dreamed about . . . him, it was just flashbacks, bits and pieces of what happened. Never once have I dreamed of fighting back. Of being pissed at what was happening to me. I was always helpless in the other dreams, but this one, I never felt that way. I felt like I could save myself . . . you know, if I just fought hard enough.”

“But you’ve never slept with a man since that happened to you, right?”

Dropping her head to her desk, Ava shook her head. “No, I haven’t. God, that was so long ago. It seems pathetic that I’ve kept myself in some self-imposed prison since then. I mean, I know everyone understood it for a while, but after a few years, I could see the pity in their eyes. They were starting to worry about me. Wondering if I would ever be the same. Both Brant and Declan tried to talk to me, but it was so damn awkward for all of us that eventually we avoided the subject. It’s why I created this big bullshit illusion that I was normal again. I couldn’t have them and Mac thinking that I was still messed up over the whole thing. I didn’t want people feeling sorry for me. After I had the first fake overnighter, things were better. I made sure everyone knew it and I could almost hear their sighs of relief.

“When Mac came back from the military and opened his company, I knew that he kept an eye on me, so I continued doing it. A fake guy every now and again
kept him from getting too close. I was too messed up for a real relationship, so it put him at arm’s length, but I had our friendship. No pressure, nothing messy to deal with. But he was in my life in some way.” Ava had told Emma in one of her weaker moments about her arrangement with the college guys who came over every few months, so the other woman knew well how far she had taken her efforts to appear normal to her friends and family.

“Ava, I believe you’ve pretty much answered your own question. After all this time, you suddenly have a man in your bed. You’ve actually let someone close to you without faking it. Your mind is probably scrambling to keep up with all these new developments. I would be more surprised if you
weren’t
having some kind of issues adjusting. I mean, it’s amazing that you finally realized that you needed to do something before you lost Mac, but maybe that big step has been a little harder than even you’ve realized.” Giving Ava a beaming smile, she added, “I’m proud as hell of you, though. You went after what you wanted and you’re living again. Shit, you’re as different as night and day from when I first met you.”

Curious, Ava asked, “I am? How do you mean?”

Rolling her eyes, Emma said, “Honey, you were always one of two ways. Either really tense or really depressed. There didn’t seem to be much middle ground there. I figured that like your brother, you were probably eating antacids by the handful. Even when you were being all bitchy or condescending, I still wanted to give you a hug. Underneath the whole tough
exterior, you seemed so sad. I think your brothers, bless their hearts, knew something wasn’t right, but in typical male fashion, they just didn’t know what to do about it. Now, even after attempting to strangle Mac this morning, you’re glowing. You look
happy
.”

Ava was deeply touched by Emma’s words. Especially since she wasn’t used to having heart-to-heart talks with anyone, and she had to admit that it felt good. Maybe if she had had a sister to turn to after her attack, it would have helped her recovery. Emma was right about one thing, though—talking about your feelings to a guy just didn’t happen, or at least it hadn’t happened for her with her brothers. She’d caught both Declan and Brant looking at her thoughtfully on more than one occasion through the years, but they never gave voice to their thoughts. Having their sister break down in front of them was probably right up there as one of their worst fears. She couldn’t really fault them, though. She knew that they loved her and would be there in a minute if she asked. They were good boys who had grown into outstanding men. Blinking back the moisture in her eyes, she said, “Thanks, Em, for everything. For listening to me and putting up with my moods every day. No matter what I say to the contrary, I love working with you and having you in the family.”

With a cocky grin, Emma said, “Yeah, I know. You Stones can’t resist me. I think it has something to do with my sex appeal.”

“Oh God,” Ava moaned, “not again.”

When Mac called her just as she was leaving the office, she had been both surprised and delighted by his invitation out to dinner for that evening. He had been at a client site, so their conversation had been brief. He was picking her up at seven and taking her to Ivy, one of her favorite restaurants.

As she stood in her closet, surveying the clothing hanging there, she turned her nose up in disgust until it hit her. The clothes that she had purchased with the girls at the mall were hanging in her spare bedroom. With a girlish squeal of happiness, she tore through her apartment and threw open the door to the closet. She went right to the sexy black cocktail dress that Emma had talked her into buying. It was deceptively simple in design, which only added to its appeal. The slinky material felt amazing against her skin, and the strapless bra that she was wearing pushed the creamy swells of her breasts up against the straight neckline of the dress. She loved the wraparound shoulder straps that flowed so easily into the back of the dress. The formfitting design was classy, but definitely sexy. She paired it with a
pair of black Christian Louboutin peep-toe, heeled sandals that she had bought years ago in a moment of feminine weakness but had yet to wear.

When she looked at herself in the mirror, she screamed for a different reason. In her haste to find something to wear, she had completely forgotten that she had just stepped from the shower. She only had ten minutes until Mac arrived, and she knew that he wouldn’t be late. She ran to the bathroom and dried her hair as quickly as possible. She had no time left to straighten it. She left it to hang down her back in a wild array of waves. Hopefully, Mac would think the carefree look was intentional. Next, she applied a light base makeup, along with blusher and eyeliner. She had just added a coat of gloss to her lips when her doorbell sounded. Yep, right on time.

She teetered for a moment as she turned quickly on her heels but was able to right herself and continue on to the door. God, she hoped she didn’t land on her face tonight in the restaurant. Maybe flats would have been a better option, but these looked so good with the dress. She’d just walk slowly to compensate. Women did it all the time, right?

When she opened the door, both she and Mac gawked at each other. He stood before her looking good enough to eat in a gray suit with a purple silk tie. “Oh, wow,” she gasped as her fingers itched to run across the fabric covering his broad shoulders. “You look so . . . awesome.” But she swallowed hard at the sight of the scratches still marring his otherwise perfect face.

He stepped inside her entryway, still looking at her in a way that made her toes curl. “Baby, damn, look at you. You’re beautiful. I’m not going to be able to think about anything but fucking you tonight.” Running his finger down her cleavage, he said, “In fact, maybe we should . . .”

Grabbing his wandering hand in her own, she smirked back at him. “Oh no, Mr. Powers, you promised me dinner.” Feeling her cheeks color, she added, “Then afterward, I hope you will . . . because I want you too.”

With a growl, he drew her into his arms and locked his mouth on hers. When he pulled back, she had been thoroughly kissed and was completely rattled. She didn’t give a damn about dinner at that point and was ready to admit it, when Mac, seeming to know exactly what she was thinking, steered her toward the door with an evil smile.

“Come on, then, let’s go get you that dinner that you wanted so much. Remember?”

“Um . . . yeah.” Giving him a hopeful look, she said, “We could just order a pizza, though.”

He tweaked her nose, laughter rumbling from his broad chest. “I like the way you think, but there is no way I’m letting that dress go to waste. If we stay home, it’ll just end up on the floor in less than five minutes. And even though that sounds like heaven, I want to look at you across the table tonight and imagine what I’m going to do to you later. There is nothing like anticipation.”

Daringly, Ava ran her hand over his ass, cupping
him firmly before releasing him. “So, this is like a few hours of foreplay, right? I can’t wait. Let’s go!”

She grinned as she heard Mac mutter, “Fuck,” under his breath before taking her hand and walking her out to his SUV.

*   *   *

Ava wasn’t sure what had come over her, but she was determined to make Mac regret his decision to skip pizza and go somewhere public. He thought anticipation made things better. Well, she intended to give him more than he could possibly handle. She’d never been the daring type, but something about the dress, the shoes, and the man was a heady mix. Tonight, she felt powerful and sexy and she wanted to spread her wings and fly.

When they were seated in a quiet corner of the upscale restaurant, Ava waited until their server had left the table before scooting her chair closer to Mac’s. She had no intention of sitting so far away from him for the next hour. He raised an eyebrow at her but didn’t comment on her movement. Mac ordered a bottle of wine, and they both decided on seafood as their main course. He was just lifting his wineglass when she made her first move. She put her hand firmly on his hard thigh, only inches from his crotch. His wineglass tilted alarmingly before she quickly reached out to steady it. Leaning over, she whispered, “You better be careful. You wouldn’t want to stain the tablecloth.”

When she started rubbing wide circles on his leg, he quickly set his glass back down. Looking adorably rattled, he asked, “Er—baby, what’re you doing?”

“Hmm? What do you mean?”

His hand dropped to cover hers, squeezing it lightly. “I mean, what’s going on with this hand?”

Giving him a wicked smile, she said, “Ohhh, nothing much. You look so good tonight that I need to be touching some part of you so that I’ll know that you’re real.”

She looked at him in fascination as he appeared to blush. Mac was a gorgeous, hot hunk of man, and she’d always assumed that he was well aware of that fact. Emma was right about one thing: the men at Danvers, Mac included, did have the cocky-walk thing going on. Was it possible that after all the years of her refusing to take their relationship past a friendship, he was insecure about her feelings toward him? Could he actually doubt that she thought he was the most beautiful man she’d ever seen? Had she ever told him that? God, she couldn’t remember now. She knew he’d caught her ogling his body on more than one occasion, but she should make sure that he knew, shouldn’t she?

Clearing his throat, he said, “I think that should be my line, shouldn’t it?”

Taking a deep breath, she locked her eyes with his as she began, “Mac, aside from my brothers, you’re the most incredible man I’ve ever known. I know it’s not cool to say, but you’re beautiful to me. Handsome just isn’t a good enough word to describe you. When you walk into a room, my heart skips a beat and then speeds up to double time. Even when I was scared of my own shadow, I wanted you. You were gorgeous as a teenager, and it’s only gotten better. I could sit and stare at
you for hours and never grow tired of it. I’ve never desired anyone but you . . . always you.”

She watched the emotions flicker in Mac’s expressive eyes as she talked—seeing first surprise, then happiness, followed by desire. “Avie—I,” he began just as their server returned with their plates. Ava wanted to turn around and roll her eyes at him for intruding on their intimate moment, but maybe it was for the best. Did she really want to have a heart-to-heart with Mac in the middle of a restaurant? They had all night for that. Right now they could return to their fun, easy flirting and enjoy their meal. This was her first real date, and she didn’t want to miss a single moment of it.

Mac had ordered the lobster for himself and suggested she try the shrimp. She speared a juicy morsel on her fork and leaned over to offer it to him. With eyes smoldering, he opened his lips and allowed her to feed him. He closed his teeth on her fork, pulling it playfully before releasing it. When he offered her a bite of his lobster, she made a show of taking the morsel and then flicking her tongue against his fork before releasing it. His eyes were riveted on her mouth as she swallowed the bite. “I’m going to visit with Ella and the baby tomorrow night. Would you like to go with me?” she asked as he finally returned his attention back to his plate.

Nodding in agreement, he said, “Yeah, I’d like that. Declan says that they haven’t slept in days. Maybe you and I could manage to hold the fort down while they take a nap. Do you know anything about babies?”

Alarmed, Ava shook her head frantically. “The only
thing I know is that you’re supposed to give them back immediately if they start crying or smelling funny.”

Mac chuckled. “Yeah, that’s been my experience too. Aren’t they supposed to mostly sleep at first, though?”

“I have no idea,” Ava admitted. “Maybe we should Google it.”

Taking a sip of his wine, Mac said, “Here’s what we’ll do. If the baby is asleep, and I mean really out of it, we offer to give them an hour to sleep. If she’s awake or sleeping, but restless, then we keep our mouths shut. I feel bad about it, but they’d probably rather lose some sleep than have us mess the kid up.”

Beaming her approval at Mac’s logic, Ava agreed with him. “That’s a good idea. We also need to find out how much mileage she has on the diaper she’s wearing first. If the time’s almost up and she’s due for a change, then she might suddenly wake up freaking out.”

“And the milk thing,” Mac added, “don’t forget that. They suddenly start raising holy hell when it’s time to eat again. Shit, there’s a lot to consider here, isn’t there?”

“Maybe I could make a checklist before we go in?” Ava suggested. “That way we don’t forget anything. We could get in there, get scared, and forget to ask some important questions.”

Mac lifted a hand, clicking his finger at her. “Good idea, baby. We’re likely to freeze up under pressure. Let’s go through the whole list in the car right before we go in. That way we’ll at least remember to cover the important points. And there’s no shame in just backing down if we’re not sure, agreed?”

Ava raised her glass and clicked it against his. “Absolutely. Sounds like a plan.” Having finished her meal, she let her hand return to his thigh. She knew she shouldn’t, as she’d never done anything like it before, but she couldn’t resist. In a way, this was like a sexual milestone, and she wanted to reach it. Her hand moved upward and covered the bulge in his pants. His eyes widened and his leg jerked, causing the china on the table to shake. Oops, had she grabbed him a little too hard? Had he flinched in pain or pleasure? Biting her lip, she looked at him in concern, wondering if she had messed up her foray into public groping. Crap, according to
Cosmopolitan
, there was no such thing as a wrong touch where a man’s penis was concerned. She was still a little unsure of the whole ball-tugging thing, though, and she didn’t think that was possible to do while he was wearing pants anyway. She had planned to save that move for later on. “Um . . . did I hurt you?” she asked, feeling embarrassed.

Mac coughed, looking as if someone were squeezing his windpipe. “Avie . . . you know you’re holding my cock, right?” he wheezed out.

She flexed her hand, marveling in the fact that he felt much bigger than he had just a minute ago. “Yes, I know. Is it okay? Am I holding Mr. Wood too tight or not tight enough?” Oh God, she was doing something wrong. His eyes looked ready to pop out of his head and his face was almost purple.

As she started to pull her hand away, he clamped down on it, holding it in place. “Mr. Wood?” he asked, sounding strained.

Ava sagged in her seat, completely disappointed. She’d done everything that the magazine suggested to seduce her man during dinner. She had flirted, touched his penis, and even given it one of the manly names that they had suggested. Nothing seemed to be working, though. Instead of looking madly aroused and ready to throw her across the table, he looked as if he was just seconds away from passing out. As tears of disappointment threatened, she whispered, “I’m a complete failure at this, aren’t I? I guess you can’t be taught how to be fun and sexy, because it’s not working for me. I’m more like the antidote to all that. I’m sorry, Mac. I tried.”

Mac looked horrified as a lone tear slid down her cheek. Reaching out to brush it away, he cupped her face in his hand. “Oh, baby, I have no idea where all this is coming from, but you just surprised me, is all. You don’t have to try to be any of those things. To me you’re already all of them and more.” Lowering his voice, he moved the other hand that was holding hers against his cock and pushed firmly down. “I get hard just being near you. I panicked when you touched me because I knew I was dangerously close to coming in my pants for the first time in my life. You have no idea how your touch, your smell—everything about you affects me. I lose what little sophistication I’ve acquired through the years, and I’m back to being nothing but an out-of-control, horny teenager.”

Feeling a flicker of hope, Ava asked, “Really? I do that to you—for you?”

As he grew even bigger under her hand, he lifted an
eyebrow, saying, “You don’t have to take my word for it, Avie. That’s all for you . . . that’s what you do to me.” She beamed at him, thrilled to feel the evidence of his attraction to her. Chuckling, he added, “One thing, though . . . where did you come up with the name Mr. Wood?”

Ava started giggling, now seeing the humor in her hasty attempt at seduction. Maybe she should have left that step until later as well. “Since I don’t really have any experience—you know, with men—I’ve been reading a lot of magazines,” she admitted. “That was supposed to be something like a bedroom secret that was just between us. I guess some men call their . . . penises wood, like morning wood, and since you’re male, I added the Mr. part.” Grimacing, she asked, “Do you hate it? We don’t have to use a name if you don’t want to.”

“Baby, you can call my cock anything you want to as long as it doesn’t have the words
small
,
little
,
cute
, or
sweet
in it.” He gently removed her hand from his lap and flagged down their server. Giving her a look that had her clenching her thighs together, he said, “I wanted to make this a great first date for you, but we’ve got to go home or we’ll be doing something in here that’ll probably get us locked up.”