Authors: Adeline Yen Mah
Tags: #China - History - Song dynasty; 960-1279, #Psychology, #Hypnotism, #Reincarnation, #Body; Mind & Spirit, #Juvenile Fiction, #Asia, #Fiction, #Historical, #People & Places
“Before I answer that question, I need to clear my brain first. Tell me, my friends, what is the meaning of art? Why is art important?”
“That’s a big question,” Gege says. “But I’ll tell you this, Ah Zhao—you are one of a kind: a true artist. You strive for Truth every time you touch a brush. The rest of us are not like that. We merely strive for resemblance. We may be good at copying flowers and birds, but there’s no depth and no substance to our drawings.”
“You flatter me, my friend.”
“Gege’s right,” I say. “Art is important because it gives meaning to life. Since Heaven is the source of Order, a great artist like you is searching for Truth, for Order and for Heaven in your work.”
“To be an artist, then, is to improve life and give it meaning. If that’s the case, how can I subject myself to becoming a eunuch in His Majesty’s Palace? For a salary of one hundred and ten ounces of silver a year, they want to rob me of my manhood and my art.”
“How can the Emperor claim your painting to be His work without even asking you for permission? That’s simply not right,” I say indignantly.
Gege sighs. “It’s more complicated than that, Little Sister. The great thing is that His Majesty is prepared to give money to support the arts. What’s more important—a work of art, or the artist who painted it? Great works of art continue to be appreciated long after the artist has died. Some people would even claim that without the Emperor’s support, many paintings wouldn’t have been created in the first place. So in a roundabout way, these works were really the Emperor’s creations, even though He didn’t paint them.”
I want to shake Gege. “Aren’t you confusing the word ‘creation’ with the word ‘possession?’ ”
“Well, there are many ways of looking at art. It all depends on your personal point of view.…”
Ah Zhao gets up impatiently. “I hate to interrupt your philosophizing, Gege, but I need to make a decision. General Tong Guan wants me to live in the Palace of Divine Inspiration with hundreds of other eunuchs and paint pretty pictures at His Majesty’s command for the rest of my life. During the first two years, he says I’ll be placed on night duty and become a
dai zhao
(imperial attendant).”
“Night duty?”
“Yes! Apparently, His Majesty always keeps a painter on night duty; a versatile painter who is adept at painting anything: flowers or birds or stones. The Emperor gives frequent dinner parties during which He might suddenly summon for a painting. The imperial attendant needs to be ready to produce a painting at all times.”
“Are you going to accept the job?” Gege asks.
“I would rather die than live in that Palace and become that type of a painter. Nothing could be worse than living with hundreds of eunuchs, painting thousands of pretty pictures all signed by the one name, Huizong. I need to figure out a way to disappear without involving you two or your family.”
“Not involve us!” Gege cries. “Nothing of the sort! We
want
to help you!”
“I told your Baba about my conversation with Tong Guan. He advised me to leave the capital and hide, if I have no intention of ever entering the Palace. Turning down an offer from His Majesty will not be viewed in a positive light.”
Gege’s face betrays his sadness, but I realize with sudden insight that he’s prepared for this to happen. In a way, he
wants
it to happen.
“I’ll never be able to find another friend like you,” Gege says. “I feel it in my bones. You must know that both my sister and I admire and love you. No one can ever replace you in our hearts.”
Ah Zhao puts his arm round Gege’s shoulder. “You have your whole life ahead of you. Every boy our age wishes he could be in your shoes. When I’m gone, you’re bound to make other friends. Soon enough, you’ll pass the Imperial Examination and become a brilliant minister in His Majesty’s court. I have no doubt.”
“Where will you go?” Gege asks. “What about money? Do you have any?”
Suddenly he jumps up.
“Wait here, both of you—I’ll be back in a moment.”
As Gege runs from the shed, Ah Zhao turns to me. “Well, Little Sister, it has come to this.”
I’m overwhelmed by grief. “You have no idea,” I say, my voice choking with despair, “how bad I feel right now. Please, please won’t you take me with you? Unlike Gege, I have no future. I would do anything to come with you.”
“If only I could! But how would we live? You know as well as I do that nothing can be more hopeless. Besides, you’re only thirteen years old!”
“I could take the jewelry my mother left me,” I say.
“I wish I had your courage and confidence, Little Sister,” he says sadly. “But honestly, where would we go? With my height and barbarian features, they’d catch us in no time. If you run away with me, your
baba
would never forgive me; he’d think I’ve betrayed him, and accuse me of ruining you. I can’t do that to him. He’s my benefactor.”
“But will I ever see you again?” To my embarrassment, I start to cry. “I long to go off somewhere and be free; have a room of my own, just like this shed; create an oasis where I can write.…”
“Perhaps I can help you do that, one day. The three of us have had such happy times, especially when we were working together, with Gege and me painting and you writing.…”
“Will you come back for me when you’re rich and famous?” I plead desperately.
“My chances of that aren’t great!” he says sadly. “But I promise I’ll come back to see you, one day.”
“When?”
Ah Zhao thinks it over before he answers soberly. “Whatever happens, I’ll wait for you at our ravine, on or before the Qing Ming Festival, in three years’ time. By then, you’ll be sixteen and I’ll have an inkling of what my life is going to be like. Right now, I feel as helpless as you. I wish we were free to do what we want; be happy together with no Baba or Niang to worry about. But they are around, and we’re not free.”
“Everyone under Heaven knows what my
niang
has planned for me.”
“You have shown yourself to be stronger than your
niang
, once before—you can do it again, if you have to. Be brave! I have faith in you.”
There’s the sound of running footsteps, and Gege bursts through the door.
“You’ll need money,” he manages to say, between breaths. “I have some saved. You must take it all.”
I can see that Ah Zhao is touched. “Thank you, my friend,” he says. “One day I hope I’ll be in a position to pay you back. Your
baba
has also given me all the silver from Tong Guan, as a farewell gift, so I’m well set up.”
“What else can we do?” Gege asks.
“You’ve done more than enough already. You two are the only family I have, and this shed my only home. But it’s only a home because of you. Wherever I go, I’ll always carry the memory of you in my heart. I give you my solemn promise that I’ll be back.”
We help Ah Zhao pack his few clothes into a bag, together with his paintbrushes, cash and silver ingots.
“No more tears, Little Sister!” he says to me. “I’m afraid life is often unfair. Make your right hand into a fist and wrap your left hand round it. Gege will wrap his hands round yours, and I’ll wrap mine round his. There! Now we have a giant fist, let’s make a pact that we’ll always be united in our hearts and minds, wherever we may be.”
His eyes are glinting with tears as he picks up his bag and strides away. He closes the door gently behind him, but opens it again almost immediately.
“Nearly forgot!” he exclaims. He runs to the wooden storage box, by the wall, where he keeps his art supplies, lifts the lid and stuffs a thick roll of silk and some paper sketches into his bag.
“Don’t look so sad!” he says. “Remember that one single positive dream is more important than a thousand negative realities. Since we’re young and free to create whatever we wish,
you he bu ke
(is anything impossible)?”
And then he’s gone.
Two Gifts
N
ext day, Baba sends Ah Wang and Little Chen to report to Tong Guan that Ah Zhao has run away in the middle of the night. For a while, Baba is fearful that the Eunuch General will blame him for Ah Zhao’s disappearance, or, worse still, will launch a search for the young fugitive. At their next social gathering, however, Tong Guan says nothing when his friend Cai Jing asks Baba about Ah Zhao.
“Barbarians don’t think like normal people,” Commissioner Ye remarks, after Baba tells everyone of Ah Zhao’s disappearance. “I’m sure your servant has no idea what a great opportunity General Tong Guan was giving him. He’ll remain poor all his life and be buried in a pauper’s grave. That will be the end of him.”
Since Tong Guan is sitting there, Baba does not mention that Ah Zhao had shown no hesitation whatsoever in rejecting a eunuch’s life of power and luxury in favor of freedom and liberty.
Every hour of every day, I feel I’m about to hear from Ah Zhao, but there’s only silence. Baba allows Gege and me to keep his hut in the garden, but after a while I’m the only one who goes there. Gege takes the final part of his Imperial Examination and passes, amid much celebration.
Baba is practically bursting with pride, especially on the day of
Dong Zhi
(the Winter Solstice Festival), when Gege and Cai You are chosen, along with Baba, to escort the Emperor in an important procession. They dress in formal robes and caps and proceed to
Tai Miao
(the Grand Ancestral Temple) to present offerings to Huizong’s ancestors at the
Yuan Qiu
(Round Mound Altar). The parade runs south from the
Xuan De Men
(Gate of Virtue Proclaimed) of the
Da Nei
(Inner Palace) to the
Nan Xun Men
(Southern Infusion Gate) of the
Da Wai
(Outer City) and is accompanied by seven elephants, fifty flag-holders, dozens of drummers and gong players as well as two hundred musicians and dancers dressed in colorful costumes. Tens of thousands of onlookers line the imperial main road to watch the parade, falling to their knees at the sight of His Majesty dressed regally in his imperial yellow robes.