Allie's War Season Three (160 page)

"You're not wearing a bra," he observed, gasping a little against the collar. "Was that for me, precious? Gods...I missed you so much..."

I folded my arms, staring at him without changing expression. I had no intention of sitting in the chair across from him, or even getting any closer to him than I was now. I didn’t much give a damn what he read into that, when it came down to it.

“Ditrini,” I said. “I will leave here in two seconds, after I ask my question, unless I get something that approximates an answer. Two seconds. Do you hear me?”

"You came to see me, precious girl," he said, panting against the collar. "I am overcome. Please come closer to me...please...precious girl..."

Even with him chained, even hating that I did it, I found myself stepping back instead, folding my arms tightly across my chest. Ignoring his words to me, I met his gaze.

"Here is my question, Ditrini," I said. "Remember. Two seconds.”

"Anything, my precious girl...anything at all." Still fighting the collar, he leaned back in the chains, enough that I realized he'd been straining against them since he saw me standing near the door. His eyes flickered over me again. "...But you know the price, of course, my love...you know the price. You know how badly I want you to pay it..."

He inclined his head towards his own crotch, not taking his eyes off me.

I felt my jaw harden. "Ditrini. Did you or anyone in the Lao Hu put anything in my light during one of the bonding sessions...” I gritted my teeth. “...Or any other time? Blocks? Any kind of tracer? Something that could be interfering with my aleimi still?”

His smile widened, even as I felt another pulse of pain leave his light. He was looking at my body again, remembering things loudly enough that it had to be deliberate.

"Gods, I want to fuck you...I want to fuck you so badly...”

I felt my face and body tense more.

Without thought, I turned around, walking towards the door.

“Wait!” he called out. “Wait! Don’t go!”

“I don’t hear you answering my question,” I said, pausing with my fingers resting on the L-shaped handle. “I told you, Ditrini...two seconds...you’re already over that.”

His eyes turned shrewd when I glanced back at him. I could see him trying to think past the drugs, to decide what to say to get me to not leave. That clenched feeling in my throat worsened. I gripped the door handle tighter, when he spoke up.

“What sort of...things...Esteemed Bridge?” he said.

I didn’t turn that time. “The question was clear, Ditrini. Answer it.”

Another coil of pain left his light. “Do you mean like when I had my infiltration team take turns trying to get into your light?” he said. “Those kinds of...things...Esteemed Bridge?”

A pain hit my chest, and suddenly, I was having trouble seeing him.

Only after a few long-seeming seconds into that, did I realize my eyes were glowing. I gripped the handle of the door while Ditrini let out a rolling chuckle. I don’t think I’d tried to open it, but the door opened anyway, from the other side.

Tenzi stood there, his face white as chalk, his hand on his gun.

“...Do you mean the night where I invited your infiltration class over for supper?” Ditrini called out, another coil of pain leaving him. “You remember, don’t you, love. I invited their fathers, too. And my guards, those two Wvercians. I think it was very educational for your young friends...don’t you...?”

By then I was already having to fight to pull back my light.

Barely seeing Tenzi, I walked past him. I stopped only once, before Tenzi would have closed the door, staring back at Ditrini, and for the barest instant, all of those images I'd fought out of my mind and light came back, enough that the coil of nausea in my gut sharpened to a sharper pain, blanking out my mind.

I remembered fantasizing about killing him, spending hours on the details, wondering if the repercussions would be worth it, pretty much every second he had me uncollared. A few times I thought it
would
be worth it, even if they made me a slave of the Lao Hu indefinitely.

Even if they beat me for weeks afterwards.

I remembered talking myself out of it, telling myself that there would be other Ditrinis, that if I could just survive this one, I could earn my life back...that they couldn't hold me forever. I told myself it couldn't go on like that forever, that Voi Pai would have to intervene.

As I stared at him now, though, I found my mind going there again.

Before I’d really let myself think about it, I grabbed the gun out of Tenzi’s hand.

I had it pointed at the Lao Hu seer almost before I knew what I intended. The pain that came off the seer that time had me cocking the gun, clenching my jaw so hard it hurt.

"That turns you on?" I said, my voice shaking. "The prospect of your imminent death turns you on? Really?"

His eyes held more of that pain when they met mine.

"It's nice to know you still care, precious," he said.

“Did you put anything in my light, Ditrini?” I said, my voice a growl that time. “What possible benefit is there, in not telling me now? Just tell me. Tell me the truth...”

“If I tell you everything now,” he said. “Why would you come visit me again, my darling?”

“Why would I if you don’t?” I snapped.

“I didn’t put anything in your light precious...nothing apart from me, that is. And the light of all of my friends...”

Shoving aside the images he sent me, I bit my lip until I tasted blood. “You didn’t? Nothing that would block my sight? Nothing that would keep me from seeing Shadow?”

“Why would I want to keep you from seeing my master, precious?” he said. “Why would I do that? When he wants nothing but for you to see him...”

He smiled at me, and again I felt that flicker of separation pain around him.

I felt something else, too, something more subtle, that I couldn’t put my finger on well enough to identify. I didn’t want to get close enough to examine it in his light, either...in fact, knowing him, that hint of a secret held back was nothing more than a ruse so I would read him, luring me closer to his light. He played those kinds of games all the time in the City. Thinking about this, I felt my jaw harden more.

There was no point in keeping him alive. None whatsoever. If I didn’t shoot him now, I could never come back down here, in any case. Not with how easily I might lose control of my light, kill him anyway, and maybe Tenzi and Garend too, or Balidor, if I lost control.

For a long moment, I just stood there, the gun pointed at him.

Knowing I should pull the trigger. Knowing, too, that no one would stop me.

Turns out, I couldn’t murder even Ditrini in cold blood, though.

Unable to decide if that was a relief or if it pissed me off, I lowered the gun to my side, feeling my body shake. Ditrini laughed when I did it, his silver eyes sparkling.

“I love you too, precious,” he said. “I love you...so much. You have no idea how hard I am, knowing how close you came. I saw it in your eyes, precious. I saw that fire, I know you wanted it. You wanted it so badly, as bad as I did, my precious girl...”

Grimacing, I handed the gun back to Tenzi. When I did, I noticed Anale standing behind me for the first time, too. She had a gun in her hand, as well. When I met her eyes, she aimed the weapon meaningfully at the Lao Hu infiltrator’s head, her mouth a hard line in her face.

“Want me to do it, Esteemed Bridge?” she said softly, her eyes cold. “It would be my pleasure, I assure you. An honor, if it’s on your behalf...one I would treasure.”

I had to think about her words for a few seconds more.

Then I shook my head, refusing to look back at the Lao Hu seer.

“Just get me out of here,” I told them. “Now, please.”

12

SEERS

REVIK’S LIGHT TENTATIVELY touched the outline of the other man's as he sat there, staring at the floor of the hotel room Jon had once shared with Dorje. Revik himself had only been in the room once before, at least while Dorje had been alive.

Even then, Dorje hadn't been enthusiastic about Revik's visit.

Dorje hadn't been enthusiastic about Revik and Jon's friendship in general, even though he pretended nothing but respect to Revik’s face. From what Revik could recall, that last time hadn't been much different. Dorje had been polite, even friendly, but he made it clear from day one that his loyalty lived with Allie, and not with her mate.

Also, he'd never really forgiven Revik for his interactions with Jon in the tank.

Revik tried apologizing, hoping to smooth things over. He could tell it hadn't done a lot of good, not even after he let Dorje far enough into his light that the other seer should have felt his sincerity. Of course, by then, Wreg's fixation complicated everything.

It made sense to Revik, even at the time, that Dorje would blame him in part for the Wreg thing, too.

After all, Wreg only came there to find Revik in the first place.

It was still strange to think that the Tibetan-looking seer had been an agent of Shadow all that time. Glancing around the dimly-lit room with its closed, heavy curtains and dirty-looking gold carpet, Revik sighed. This room still felt like it housed the dead.

He wasn’t sure how much good he was doing Jon right now, anyway.

His sympathy for the other man was real. He just wasn't sure if any of his words actually penetrated that mask Jon wore. Worse, Revik found he had started repeating himself, which probably wasn’t going to get him anywhere, either.

"He didn't
know
you then, Jon," Revik reminded him, repeating himself anyway. "He'd met you...what? Once? In a hotel corridor in New Delhi?”

“I met him in D.C....” Jon muttered, but Revik only gave a dismissive wave.

“My point is, back then, he'd been so buried in the Dreng's light there was no way he would have been able to even see you clearly..." Revik folded his hands, again looking into the other man's face. "...I wasn't myself back then, either. Neither was Allie, if you want to get technical, and I know for a fact she only did that whole thing to humor me, and to get me to trust her."

Hesitating again, he added, "I
asked
her to let me do it, Jon. I asked her, and no one touched her, including Wreg. If you want to blame someone, blame me..."

Jon shook his head, sliding his fingers through his short hair.

Looking at Jon's mutilated hand from what Terian had done to him didn't exactly make Revik feel better, but it did remind him how much he'd been through with the other man. He wanted to try and comfort him some other way, but he was conscious of not touching him very much. He'd felt Wreg around him enough in fits and starts that he knew it would probably only make the problem worse.

Honestly, Revik had been surprised Jon let him in at all.

Exhaling in a short burst, Jon clicked to himself, still staring at the floor.

"What would make you feel better, Jon? Honestly?" Revik said. "Ending things with Wreg isn't a real answer. Not for this. Anyway," he added, his voice more uncomfortable. "...I'm not even sure you could at this point. Not without help, and we don't have Vash anymore. No one in the hotel has experience with that kind of thing. It's not exactly Tarsi's thing..."

Jon stared at him, his hazel eyes sharper in the half-light.