Alliance Forged (28 page)

Varian’s curse cut her off. The air stirred in front of her. She started as his hands grabbed her shoulders. Her temper ignited. She brought her arms up, elbows out, and broke his hold on her. She thrust both palms forward. They slapped against the bare flesh of his chest. He grunted but it didn’t push him away from her like it should have. He was just too strong.

“Don’t manhandle me, Varian,” she warned him. “Just tell me what you want!”

Breath hissed from him. “Tell you?” he rasped. “How can I when I don’t even know?”

The muscles beneath her hands shifted, flexed. Two thuds close
to her head made her flinch, his arms caging her in against the wall. Pure strength surrounded her. Hot. Dangerous.

The air between them vibrated with tension, and with something else that started a warm flutter in her stomach. Temper and desire warred inside her. Why wouldn’t he open up? How could she be aroused at a time like this?

His mouth covered hers in a kiss. Hard. Savage. The power of it poured into her, so intense it broke through her shields. It left her stunned. But it was the heat behind it that overwhelmed her. Fire consumed her, racing along every nerve ending, sinking beneath her skin, spiraling past muscle and bone until it reached her center, and once there it exploded, searing her from the inside out. She had no control over what she felt, no sense of time, no thought outside the all-consuming kiss.

Varian’s fingers threaded through her hair, tangling, tightening, tilting her head back, breaking their kiss. Kymora sucked in a desperate breath. Sometime during it, she’d wrapped her arms around his waist. Her hands lay on the flat planes of his back, her fingers tracing the muscled ridges on either side of his spine. Only his body pressing against hers kept her upright.

Varian shuddered against her, his soft groan vibrating through his chest, then into her. The sound rolled through the length of her body. She arched against him, absorbing the sensation.

His lips claimed hers again, just as hungry, just as hard, but only for a heartbeat. Then they began to soften; his hands cradled, then cupped the back of her head. His mouth parted and his tongue tasted her, just the barest lick across her bottom lip. She moaned, her fingers digging into his back, needing more. Craving it.

Another tortured groan came from deep inside his chest. “I can’t control myself.” His gravelly voice rasped against her senses. “I’ll hurt you.”

This close to him, touching him skin to skin, his fear jolted like
a shock against her heart. Kymora suppressed her elation over the revelation. A few weeks ago, he’d never have revealed any sort of weakness, to anyone.

“You won’t.” She sounded breathless, and in truth she was.
Merciful Mother
, she hadn’t expected his kiss or the intensity of it. Hand shaking, she felt for his face, his cheek. Stubble abraded her palm. His head turned into it. “I liked your kiss.” She ran her fingers over his lips, enjoying their soft texture, the moist remnants of the unexpected kiss. “I trust you.”

His hot breath dampened the skin on her wrist. She gasped as his teeth bit into the fleshy part of her thumb, just hard enough to sting. Pure pleasure streaked through her, first to her breasts, tightening her nipples, then hard downward, straight to her core.

He released her thumb, and his damp forehead pressed against hers. “You shouldn’t.”

He shifted closer, wedging himself against her from hip to shoulder. All lean muscle. Steamy heat and hardness. His escalating hunger a fiery caress against her mind, threatening to burn out of control and take her with him. Again.

“This is dangerous. I have very little control over this side of me, Kymora.”

His admission sounded torn, like it had been ripped from somewhere deep inside him, but
Lady’s Light
, he was finally talking to her. She tried to focus on that and put aside the pleasure, for the moment.

Easier said than done as she placed her hands at his waist and the temptation to trace the jut of his hip bones beckoned. If she reached around, she’d find his body markings trailing down his back and over the sides of his buttocks. “You’re talking about the battle rush?”

“This isn’t me….”

The more she thought about how the
Na’Chi
treated Varian, and that included Lisella and Zaune, the angrier she became on his behalf. Allowing such a generous, giving man to doubt himself to the point
he abhorred the very essence of what he was, whether through thoughtless comments or resignation… they were all complicit.

Blessed Mother,
if only he could see himself through her eyes.

“Varian, it is you.” There was a swift intake of breath and he stiffened beneath her touch. She didn’t let him vocalize his protest. “You’re demon. You’re also human. You’re tough, ruthless, and harsh when you need to be. But you worry, you care, and you’re dedicated to seeing to the safety of your people.” She spread her fingers against his chest, over his heart. “You have the qualities and the flaws of both. You’re as the
Lady
made you. You can’t value one above the other. Human,
Na’Reish
,
Na’Chi
… you’re each of these. And I want you… as… you… are.”

He stilled. The silence lengthened. Would he believe her truths? His aura trembled, the rawness of his pain vying with a sensation of lightness. That gave her hope. And it made her next decision easier.

“I didn’t mean to interrupt your bath.” She ducked under one arm and slid her hand along the other to pull him away from the wall. Her boots splashed in the puddles of water Varian had made getting out. “Get back in and I’ll join you.”

Without waiting to see if he entered the pool or not, she made her way to the wall where the hooks for towels and hanging clothes were located. She hung her
Lady’s
amulet on one, then toed off her boots.

Varian’s lack of response had her biting her lip. Was she doing the right thing? Twice before, despite his obvious desire for her, he’d pushed her away. Would he do that now? Had she read him wrong?

Kymora reached for the tie at the back of her Temple robe and began unlacing it. Her skin felt almost too sensitive. Her breasts ached and her nipples remained taut from their kiss. The heat lingered, too, banked low, the evidence in the wetness between her thighs. No sound came from behind her, yet her shoulder blades itched.

Varian
was
watching her.

Her body flushed as she shrugged out of the robe and let it fall to the floor, clad in nothing but her skin and her need for him. Hands shaking, she hung it on the same hook as her amulet. His continued silence sent a shiver along her spine. She bit her lip and remained facing the wall.

Then water splashed behind her.

“Be careful crossing the floor.” Varian’s voice was slightly muffled, like he’d turned away from her. “It’s slippery.”

Kymora took a slow, deep breath. The note of wary acceptance in his voice allowed her to turn and make her way to the pool.

Varian lifted his gaze only once Kymora entered the water, then slid to the opposite side. To remain any closer would be too much of a lure. He’d kissed her. Twice. And the second time he had been barely able to pull away.

As it was, he’d acted like an animal, wild and uncontrolled. His cheeks burned with the memory, in shame but also in confusion. Kymora’s arousal, her hot, sweet scent, had filled his lungs, and even now it carried across the distance separating them.

She’d
enjoyed
the kiss. When he’d been terrified of the darkness and violence driving him, she’d confronted that part of him, unafraid. She’d accepted it, taken it, and now she shared his bath, beautifully naked, a delicate flush coloring her cheeks.

Color had returned to his vision. The significance of that detail drew a grunt from him. She’d calmed him, evidence of her power to tame that side of him. Her strength and incredible Gift shook him to the core.

And he wanted more. Seeing her hesitate after undressing, and knowing the courage her bold move demanded from her, the hunger to see what she planned for them prompted him to invite her to join him in the bath. Just this once, he wanted to explore what was between them and damn the consequences.

Kymora lowered herself into the water. While it covered her shoulders, he caught tantalizing glimpses of her body through the floating curtain of her long hair. The curve of a pale breast, the hardened tip of a nipple, the shadowed dip of her waist, the lean length of a leg. The show heightened the tension thrumming through his body.

It rode him hard. Even now he could feel her hands on his waist, burning their shape into his skin, and the softness of her body where she’d pressed against him. It was on the tip of his tongue to ask her to touch him again. Instead, he lay back against the side and gripped the cool tiles along the edge to stop himself from going to her.

The next move would be hers.

“Varian, is there soap-sand?” Kymora’s lilting voice caressed his senses.

“To your left, in a small rectangular box.”

She felt along the edge of the pool until she found the cleanser and a cloth next to it. Using the tiles of the bath as a guide, she worked her way around it toward him. When her hand brushed against his, she stopped.

“It’s not easy deciphering strong emotions,” she murmured. Removing the lid of the soap-sand container, she dipped her fingers in and sprinkled some on the wet cloth. “Yours are so intense it’s like a blinding light shone directly in my eyes.”

Linking fingers with him, she smoothed the cloth along his forearm. He tensed. What was she doing?

Kymora paused, head tilting to one side. “Skin-to-skin contact offers a clearer impression, but there’s still only so much I can interpret through touch. I thought after that kiss…” She hesitated. “Every muscle in your arm just tightened, but I’m having trouble reading you…. Don’t you like what I’m doing?”

Oh, he liked it. What he wasn’t sure about was being the focus of her scrutiny. Not now. Not when he didn’t fully understand the
unusual changes in his behavior or what was happening between them. She claimed his emotions were so extreme she had no idea what he was feeling yet had managed to read him pretty well.

Kymora sighed softly and released his hand. “Not being able to use my Gift leaves me feeling helpless, like I’ve gone blind all over again. When that happens, I try to take control of the situation.” She issued a strangled laugh. “It seems when it comes to you, I have very poor judgment, Varian. I don’t mean to keep provoking you or make you feel uncomfortable. I’m sorry.”

She backed away from him then, the strained expression on her face becoming more drawn. Kymora was demanding, too, like him in some ways, but she gave so much more, her soul generous in ways he knew he’d never match.

“Wait.” His tone was rough, and he hated how she flinched.

He probably should have expected the reaction, considering all he’d done so far was growl and snap at her. He didn’t want to reveal anything more about himself to her. He hated the vulnerability that came with it. Yet despite that, he found himself powerless to deny her.

When that had happened, he wasn’t entirely certain. Perhaps during the time in the clearing, after he’d killed Rystin. Something had changed between them then, something irrevocable. He ran a hand through his hair.

“You haven’t made an error in judgment.” Varian grimaced at the way his voice closed up on him, and swallowed hard. Kymora deserved more than silence or halfhearted attempts to explain what he was feeling, but the words he wanted to say lodged like shards of glass inside his throat. “Having someone care about you… the way you care about me, is humbling, Kymora. You worry about what I feel. It matters to you and I guess that’s something I’m just not used to….” He took a deeper breath. “When I kissed you, all I could think about was wanting more.”

He shuddered, the rawness of the memory abrading already
sensitive nerves. He could still taste the sweetness of her lips. Just remembering it made him hard now. He shoved the memory aside and forced himself to face the more grievous issue.

“Do you know how close I came to just taking what I wanted?”

“But you didn’t.”

Three simple words. Compelling. Guilt relieving. How did she do that? Varian shook his head.

A small smile curved Kymora’s lips as she started back in his direction. “So, assuming you liked kissing me, can I also presume you liked me washing you?”

The thought of her touching him again didn’t bear thinking about.

“Kymora…”

“What?” Her fingers laced with his again, ignoring his warning growl. Heat shot up his arm. “You think you’re the only one worried about losing control?
Blessed Mother
, Varian, join the Guild! That kiss almost killed me.”

The cloth scrubbed along his arm with more force, but he barely noticed. Her admission about his kiss had him riveted. She’d really liked it? The flush on her cheeks deepened, as if she was still thinking about it.

“Do you know how hard it was to focus on our conversation after that? You’re not the only one who wanted more.” She poked his shoulder. “Whatever happens between us, I’m sure we’ll cope with it.” Her temper hadn’t yet reached full steam, but damned if he didn’t like to see her riled. “Right now, I want you to lay back and enjoy this.”

The order, reinforced by another rough swipe, this time along his chest, made his lips twitch. The swing in mood eased the last of the tension inside of him.

Pure sensation and vulnerability. She gave him both. Gifts he never thought to experience with any woman.

Varian caught her wrist on the next pass and pulled her closer to him. She landed against his chest with a surprised grunt.

“Use your bare hand,” he suggested. “It’ll feel better.”

For him or for her?
Kymora nearly asked the question, surprise almost startling it out of her. Was he really inviting her to touch him? She released the cloth. It hit the water with a soft plop, then she laid her hand flat on his chest. The heat coming from his skin wasn’t all generated by the water or steam.

“This is the first real chance I’ve had to see you,” she murmured, her throat tightening. Who had he let touch him before now? Very few people, if any.