Allegiance (10 page)

‘I’m sorry…’

He silenced me with a kiss, his tongue pushing through my lips, opening them with a force that made me instantly breathless. The kiss soon found a rhythm that made my blood burn. When it ended, Leif caught my face in one big hand and said, ‘I won’t alter
your memories, Marla—keep them if you wish—but remember if you share them with me, you will only cause me pain.’

I nodded, too breathless to speak.

‘I will take you to Jack now.’

My stomach lurched up into my throat at the thought of seeing Jack. What could I possibly tell him that would make any of this okay? He was going to hate me. What had just happened proved every one of his suspicions true. ‘You’ll wait for me won’t you, Leif?’

I was such a coward.

‘Only call for me, my love, and I will come.’

Leif left me at the water’s edge and flew away, a flash of brilliant white. Jack was waiting in the exact place I’d left him and, as I strolled up the sand to meet him, my feelings of guilt grew. Not only had I abandoned him the moment Leif turned up, but it must have seemed I’d led him on for all these months. I walked slowly, trying to form some kind of speech in my head. I had nothing.

‘I don’t know what to say,’ I said when I reached him. Sorry would’ve been a good start. But I
wasn’t
sorry, not really. Selfish as it might be, I was glad of the time I’d shared with Jack.

‘I’m waiting for my friendly hugs and kisses,’ he said softly. ‘You know, for not giving in to your wantonness—well, not completely anyway.’

‘You’ll be waiting a long time because I don’t think I’d be sorry if you had,’ I told him.

He held me away from him and looked into my eyes. ‘You mean that?’

I watched my toes for a second before looking back to him. ‘Yeah, I do.’ It’s not like my feelings for him could just evaporate because Leif was back.

He smiled—small but true. ‘You sound like you might even be a bit disappointed.’

I sighed with relief. Everything was going to be okay. ‘Don’t tell Leif that.’

‘I like my face, Marla.’

I smiled and touched my fingers to his cheek. ‘Same.’

‘I’m still glad we didn’t go there though.’

‘Why?’

‘Because you, sweetheart, will be Leif’s one and only.’

I made a scoffing noise. ‘
You
haven’t seen the way those Fae girls throw themselves at him.’

Jack caught my chin in his hand. ‘I’ve seen the way he looks at you. You
will
be his one and only, and because I’m such a gentleman, he’ll be yours.’ Jack paused a moment then added, ‘And we both know I can’t say the same for myself.’

‘That wouldn’t have mattered, Jack.’

‘Well, that wasn’t the
only
thing stopping me.’

‘What else?’

‘Leif’s managed to resist you, hasn’t he?’

I smiled. ‘So it was your competitive streak?’

He sighed. ‘The truth is, Marla, you were never mine to have. I’ve known it from the first time I saw you and Leif together. Knowing
that
how could I let myself go there? You’re worth more than that.’

I put my arms around his neck and kissed him. ‘You’re going to make some girl so happy.’

‘I know, but not till I’m forty, I’ve got a field to play.’ He squeezed me tight against him. ‘And just so you know—lovely and sweet are not the descriptors a powerful man like me can relate to.’

‘Sorry. I meant big, strong, warrior type.’

He grinned. ‘Much better.’

‘So, we’re all right then?’ I asked, looking at him hopefully.

‘Don’t be stupid—I can love you as a friend.’

‘Will you mind seeing me and Leif
together
?’

‘I’m going to try hard not to, but what are you going to be like when you see
me
with someone else?’

I hadn’t thought of that.

‘Not going to like it, are you?’ he said when I didn’t respond.

No, I wasn’t—but why? I had Leif. I
adored
Leif. There was nobody I loved more. And then I realised why I felt this—what was it? Possessiveness? It was because I’d been intimate with Jack now. He’d held me in his arms, kissed me, comforted me and whispered sweet words to me. We’d even come close to making love. Everything had changed between us and we couldn’t go back. Actually we could, but only if Leif changed our memories. I understood now why he’d offered it. Was this how it would be now with me and Jack? Would I be bound to these uncomfortable feelings? How could I be so greedy? Did I just expect Jack to languish on the sidelines with no one while I had my prince? I felt horrible.

Jack didn’t seem worried. He was watching the emotions flicker across my face: confusion, surprise, embarrassment, guilt, shock.

‘It’s called a love triangle,’ he said softly. ‘It’s as old as time.’

‘The thought of you with someone else actually makes me feel like throwing up,’ I admitted.

He chuckled and brought me close, kissing my forehead slowly.

‘Maybe we
should
let him make us forget?’ Even as I said it, I knew I didn’t mean it.

‘You do what you have to do, Marla, but my memories are staying right where they are.’ He tapped his temple as he said it. ‘I hope you choose to remember us too.’

I let out a big sigh. ‘Of course I will, Jack.’

‘Life’s not meant to be easy, sweetheart. Now where’s your prince, I didn’t even get a chance to say hello.’

I called for Leif and when he came, my worries evaporated like mist. Jack greeted him with a smile and a friendly punch. Leif
returned the greeting and a few seconds of awkwardness followed. Then Jack said, ‘So… what have you been doing all this time?’

Leif smiled with something like relief and launched into an explanation. He told us of visiting neighbouring kingdoms, spending time with his father’s subjects and training the King’s Guard—laughing when he relayed the story of one of the newest accidentally shooting the king in his royal foot. Jack had a good laugh before telling Leif of exams and future careers and a gap year in Europe which was suddenly looking a lot more likely. Jack went home soon after that, leaving me feeling relieved that the two had been friendly with each other. But I also couldn’t help thinking that Leif had had a pretty good time without me and, as we strolled along the water’s edge, dodging the water sliding up the sand, I couldn’t seem to stop myself from telling him so.

Leif looked at me and I knew he’d heard the prickles in my voice. ‘Marla, I’ve been working for the right to bring you to Faera.’

I lifted my eyes to him, waiting for more, but he only gestured to the ocean with a nod of his head. The glitter-topped waves curled into the beach, glowing aqua with sun. ‘Swim with me?’ he asked.

I allowed the surf to catch my toes, shivered and quickly shook my head. ‘The water’s cold.’

‘I’ll warm you up after.’ His eyes crinkled at the corners with his smile.

I returned the smile and watched him, barely able to breathe as he peeled his pants away. My betrothed was absolutely resplendent, possessing a grace in every line of his body. Even the way he held himself was regal. Leif couldn’t be anything but what he was—future king, ruler of many. Something dark and heavy folded itself around my heart as I recognised my insignificance compared to him.

My smile faded and disappeared.

Leif must have misinterpreted my feelings, because he only chuckled when he caught me staring. I blushed, closing my mouth as I dropped my eyes to the sand and hastily stripped to my swimmers—small and pale beside him.

There was no time to dwell on my feelings of inadequacy because the next moment I felt myself swept from the sand and flung, squealing, over Leif’s shoulder. And then I was bouncing against his back, his laughter rumbling through my thighs as he ran into the sea, his long legs navigating the waves with the ease of a triathlete.

‘Leif, stop!’ I cried. The ocean roared around us, sucking my protests in.

‘I can’t hear you!’ he said, laughing still.

‘Put me down,’ I shrieked. Icy salt water splashed into my face as I held myself above the waves.

‘What? Put you down, you say?’

‘Leif!’

‘I suppose if you wish it,’ he said. Then he threw me into the sea. Cold pricked my skin as the ocean gobbled me up. Bikini askew, I kicked for the surface, just managing to reach it in time to see a huge grin lighting Leif’s face before he dived beneath the waves. When he came up again I was ready. I launched myself at him, using all my strength to push him down. Chuckling, he fell back into the water, vanishing. I bobbed over waves, scanning the area around me, but couldn’t catch a glimpse of him. Then I felt myself gripped and lifted in strong arms before he simultaneously leapt out of the water and opened his wings. He took to the sky with a fraction of a second to spare, narrowly avoiding a wave. After a few twirls in the air, he dunked me once more. We splashed about in the surf for a while, laughing, catching up, and when the subject turned to his long months in Faera without me,
he led me to the sand and drew me into his lap, warming me up as promised.

‘It didn’t take me long to realise my father had threatened you, Marla. I knew you would never
choose
to leave me—no matter the reason.’

‘Why didn’t you say something?’

‘Would you have told me the truth if I had?’

I revisited that day in my mind, remembered the ice in his father’s eyes, the viciousness of his threats. ‘No,’ I said, without hesitation.

‘I knew as much, so what would have been the point? It would have only distressed you further. But Marla, would you tell me now?’

How could I tell him his father had been willing to kill both him and his mother just to appease his pride? And what would he do if he found out the king had threatened to have me for himself? I couldn’t tell him. Not without hurting him and causing a whole heap of trouble. ‘I can’t,’ I said.

‘I won’t insist upon it. I realise the depths to which my father is prepared to sink when he is in a temper. Just know that if you wish to tell me, you can.’ He smiled and added, ‘I assure you, I can take it.’

‘But nothing’s changed, Leif. My reasons for leaving Faera are exactly the same. He’ll never let us be together.’

Leif tightened his arms around me. ‘More than anything I wanted to confront my father that day, but I knew he was furious enough to do something foolish. He needed time to calm down. I could have followed you to Earth, and I did consider it. We could have gone to some other part of Faera. After winning the vote, any number of my grandfathers would have taken us. But it would have caused a dispute between kings and I would not like to be responsible for that.’

‘But we won, Leif. Wasn’t that supposed to give me the right to live in Faera?’

‘It
did
give you that right, but why should we be forced to leave Telophy? Until I inherit my own kingdom, Telophy is my home—yours too. To live in a foreign kingdom is to live a life separate from those one loves. If I took you to another kingdom—the door to my father’s would be closed to you. I knew also that while he remained angry he would continue to refuse you allegiance, and to be with me in Telophy, you need that protection.’

‘Will he give me his allegiance now? Is that why you’ve come back for me?’

Leif took my hand in his and held my eyes fast as he said, ‘Even more—he will welcome you into his kingdom as my betrothed. We have made an agreement and sworn a vow on it.’

‘But why would he do that?’ I asked, my voice a whisper. I couldn’t believe what he was telling me was possible. His father despised me. The threats he’d made to keep me out of Faera had been horrendous.

Leif smiled. ‘He has forgiven me.’

‘What?’ I said, not understanding. If anyone had any forgiving to do it was Leif.

‘Calling my father to assembly was the wrong approach, Marla. I was so focused on having you with me I did not consider his reaction. But these last months I have worked hard to make myself indispensable to him. He needs me now and he knows I need you.’

I sat in silence, filled with conflicting emotions. I was happy that Leif’s father had finally agreed to let us be together, but afraid he was setting us up in some way. I also felt angry that Leif had been made to apologise when I’d won the vote of the assembly.

‘Do you not wish to come to Faera with me?’ Leif asked after a while. ‘I thought you would be pleased.’

I squeezed him hard. ‘I would go anywhere with you, Leif, you must know that, but how can we trust him?’

Leif kissed my hair.
My father will receive you in Telophy, Marla, and he will give you allegiance. His vow is a promise which cannot be broken.

I wound my arms around his neck and buried my face into him.
I’ve missed you so much, Leif, and I didn’t even know.

He sighed and wrapped me tight as his lips trailed down my face before reaching my mouth. His breath came into me, making me all hot from the inside out as he whispered, ‘Then imagine my torture, Marla. Every minute of knowing you no longer yearned for me was unbearable.’

‘When can I go with you, Leif?’

‘If it is your wish, I will come back for you the moment you have finished your exams.’

I told him my exam schedule for the next week.

‘Then I will come for you on Saturday.’

‘Will you stay here till then?’

‘I wish I could, but my father has commanded me to return home today.’

We spent the next few minutes deciding the best way to break the news to my parents. My pulse rate increased at the thought of it. I practised what I would say to them in my head—
Mum, Dad, King Telophy has decided to give me allegiance after all, so when the exams are over I’m going to live in his castle in Faera.
I groaned as I considered what they’d have to say about it.