All That Matters (40 page)

The front door opened and Buster stepped inside. “Train, where were you early this morning, like four in the morning early?”

“Are you serious right now?” Train remained where he was since Jillian had a needle in his flesh, sewing him up. He gritted his teeth against the pain and the urge to pummel Buster into the ground. He'd given his word that he'd done nothing, and yet here they were, discussing it again.

“I'm very serious. You see, about four this morning, someone killed Carlos. Single shot to the head while he was in bed,” Buster explained. “As you can imagine, Gagliardi is not happy about that at all.”

“If I killed him, he'd have been awake and aware. You can count on that.” Train would have kept him alive for hours, if not days, introducing him to pain that he couldn't even imagine.

“He was here,” Meg said as she walked into the living room. “If you don't believe me, I'll show you the video from the security cameras.”

“That won't be necessary, but I had to ask because Gagliardi is certain that it's you. What happened today was payback, and according to the text message I just got, only the beginning unless we turn you over to him.” Buster looked around the room.

“Fuck that,” Ace spoke up. “Fuck that with a rusty dildo. We aren't doing that.” His voice was raw with emotion.

“Of course we're not. Did I say that? We need to go back to the clubhouse. It's the most secure place for us.” Buster seemed to have recovered some from the shock of losing Danny. Maybe he wasn't numb anymore, but Train still felt it deep in his bones. A glance around the room told him that he wasn't the only one.

“Have you heard anything about Amelia?” Meg asked.

“Maggie's got her at the hospital. They've admitted her to keep an eye on her. They were able to give her something to calm her, but she hasn't stopped crying. We all know what Danny meant to her, and we all know what she's lost, what we've all lost. And now, to add Danny to that, it's insult to injury. He was a good man. A good brother. He'll never hold his child. Nothing can bring him back. Nothing can take away the pain.” Buster cleared his throat.

A car passed outside, with loud music that suggested teenagers, but Train realized it could have just as easily been Gagliardi. They were sitting ducks here. “We should move. Go and grab a bag, Meg. Stuff for a few days for the both of us. And the guns. Bring all the guns. Oh, and the knives. Just grab that black duffel bag in the back corner of the closet. I'd do it, but I think Jillian's got a few stitches to go.” In fact, he'd take it as a favor if she got back to it, because the wound was starting to throb.

“Sorry, I can't suture and pay attention to a conversation at the same time. It never ends well.” She began to stitch again. Train winced at the pull of the needle through his skin. “Sorry,” she mumbled.

“Go on, Meg. I'm good,” he spoke in a casual tone, despite the pain. He'd seen the way that she paled when he'd reacted to the stitch. Train turned his attention to Buster. “You got any sort of plan?” He needed something else to focus on besides the increasing pain.

“I'm working on it. I do know that Gagliardi dies at the end. No one takes one of ours and doesn't pay the price.” Buster looked around the room. “We didn't see this coming because we couldn't have. We can see what's coming at us now. This won't be pretty, but we will stand strong, the way that we always do. Nightshade isn't going to back down.”

“If Gagliardi's east coast connections come into play, it's going to be a short war.” Ace pointed out. “Might be best if we send the women away completely, just to be safe.”

“Oh, fuck that and fuck you,” Jillian said angrily.

Train gritted his teeth as the needle tore through his skin. “Could you not piss her off right now? Maybe we should just have this conversation back at the clubhouse after she's done?”

“Fair enough,” Buster said with a ghost of a smile. “Let's start getting our shit in gear. Give them some privacy to finish up.”

<#<#<#<#

Train could hear Bones and his old lady arguing behind the door of one of the dorm rooms. They had the kids in there with them, two little girls. He kept moving down the hall, in search of Meg, who'd gone to put there stuff in a room about half an hour ago.

He found her in the smallest room, sitting on the edge of the bed. She was crying. “I told you to warn me before you do that.” Train shut the door behind him.

“That's why I came up here where you weren't.” She turned to face him. “How do you feel?”

“Better. Jillian found me some pills.” Train sat down next to her. “I should probably take a shower, but I just can't find the energy to do it.”

“I've got wipes in my bag. Don't make a comment about it, either, I told you that they tend to come in handy. Right now is just proving my point.” She got up from the bed. “Do you want pajamas?”

“Yeah, that's a good idea.” Train realized that Gagliardi might strike again before they were able to retaliate. Before they could do anything, they needed to get some of their strength back. “If anything happens, I want you to stay up here, no matter what. And shoot anyone who comes in the door who isn't Nightshade.”

“What if there's a fire? Should I stay up here if there's a fire?” She sniffled and rubbed her hands over her face.

“Don't be a smart ass. It's the safest thing for you. I need you to be safe.”

“If I can help, I want to help, Train. They killed Danny in our back yard. They could have killed you. I heard Jillian, a few more inches, and Amelia wouldn't be the only one burying her man. If you died...” she trailed off, tears filling her eyes once again.

“I didn't die.” Train reached out, gripped her chin in his hand. “I'm right here. Don't borrow trouble, Meg. We've got enough.”

“Isn't that the truth? We'll get through it, right? That's what we do, apparently.” She leaned into him. “You look exhausted. You should rest.”

“Yeah, you're probably right about that. Look, Ace might have had a point earlier.” Train had been thinking about it. If they got the women out of town, they'd be out of the fire. Safe even if things went completely to shit.

“Fuck that, I'm not going anywhere. You heard me, we'll get through it. Now, let's get you undressed.”

“Any other night, hearing you say that would get my dick hard.” Train said with a chuckle. “Don't get offended or anything. I think getting shot has made him a little shy.”

“All the more reason for you to get changed and get some rest. I'm not offended. Trust me, I get it. I keep seeing him like that, I try to remember his face otherwise, but I can't. I just can't. Shit, I shouldn't be making this about me. I can't even imagine what you're feeling. I know that you and Danny didn't always see eye to eye, but I also know that you loved him.”

“He was a pain in my ass, sometimes he could be a real prick, but yeah, I did. I'm going to miss him.”

“You'll go after Gagliardi, won't you? And by that, I mean that you'll be on the front line. It's what you do for Nightshade, isn't it?” She looked worried and scared.

“What do you mean?” Train realized a beat too late the playing stupid wasn't going to work. She gave him a look that he recognized, and it usually meant that he was in deep shit. “How'd you figure that out?”

“I'm not entirely stupid, and I opened that bag that you told me to bring downstairs, because I was being nosy. The things in there... well, it didn't take a genius to figure out what they're for. They're torture tools, killing tools.”

“They are,” Train admitted. For a moment, he'd considered denying it, but lying to Meg, even over something that obviously upset her, just didn't sit right with him. “You've always known that I'll do whatever it takes for Nightshade.”

“I know that.” She smiled slightly. “You've proved it time and time again.”

“There's something else that you want to say.” Train could see it in her eyes.

“It puts you on the front line, you could get killed.”

“Any of us could get killed, Meg. It's not like I'm going to walk in there on my own. Don't worry, I'll come back to you. I'll always come back to you.”

“Until you don't. Like how Danny is never going to come back to Amelia.” She let out a shaky breath.

Train didn't know what to say because she was right. One day, despite his best intentions, he wouldn't come back to her. He'd never really thought of it before, but now he couldn't think about anything else. “You having regrets, Meg? Looking for an out?”

She let out a sound somewhere between a snarl and a scream. “Fuck you, Train. Fuck you. Do you want an out?” Her foot tapped against the floor over and over again, a sure sign that she was pissed.

“Well...” He trailed off, watched her eyes narrow. “I'm fucking with you, Meg.”

“You are such an asshole.” She exhaled deeply.

“You already knew that,” Train pointed out with a smile.

“I did. Guess I'm a glutton for punishment.” There was no heat behind her words. “Let's get you cleaned up. I don't like seeing blood on you.”

“I'm okay. Jillian fixed me up good.” To prove his point, Train rose. Taking off his pants and boots weren't a problem, but when he got to the shirt, it wasn't going to happen.

“Let me,” Meg moved close to him. “It's still going to hurt, but it shouldn't be too bad. If I hurt you, I'm sorry.”

She did hurt him, it couldn't be avoided, but Train was careful not to make a sound. It was a relief to sit down on the bed again. He watched her dig the plastic tub of baby wipes out of the bag she packed. “Did you remember your pills?”

“My crazy pills or my birth control?” She looked over her shoulder at him.

“They aren't crazy pills, they're for your nerves.” Train replied, not for the first time. She'd gone to see a doctor friend of Maggie's a few weeks before, and since she'd been taking them, she'd seemed to be doing better.

“I actually have both of them and my vitamins. Why?”

“Throw away the birth control.” Train hadn't realized what he was going to say until he said it. Shock showed on her face, the tub of baby wipes fell out of her hand to the floor. “Make a baby with me.”

“What? Wait. What?”

He laughed. He had to. “Throw away the birth control. Make a baby with me.”

“That's what you want? You're not like saying it because you think it's what I want now that the boys are gone?”

“They're not gone forever.” It pissed him off that she seemed to have given up on the boys coming home. It also pissed him off that she'd question what he said, but he'd expected that part from her. “I'm only saying it because it's what I want. I want a baby with you.”

“What if I can't handle it? When the boys were little, I thought that I was going to lose my mind when they cried, and back then, I could give them back. I won't be able to give my own kid back.” She might have taken her pills, but her nerves were back with a vengeance.

“You'll able to give him to me,” Train reminded her gently. “You'll be able to handle it, Meg. You're already an amazing mother. I don't care what pussy those boys popped out of, the truth of it is that they're yours. And we're going to get them back.”

“I'll throw away the pills,” Meg said after a pause. “I am so holding you to the taking the baby part. And you'll be changing diapers. Especially the shitty ones.”

“I'll change all the diapers that you'd like me to,” Train promised. He'd never actually changed a baby before but how hard could it be? He'd rebuilt engines and put together a house from scratch. A diaper wouldn't be a challenge, or at least he hoped that it wouldn't.

Chapter Twenty-Two

“What was so important that it couldn't wait or be discussed on the phone?” Meg wasted no time on pleasantries as she let her lawyer in the front door of the clubhouse. “I told you, I'm just in the middle of something.