All That Matters (25 page)

“The doctors think the best thing to help him is to transfer him, so we've just got to wait and hope that they're right and they can help Joshua. All we can do is take it one step at a time. Right now, the steps are Joshua moving to the new place and us giving him some space to do that in.”

Train watched as she embraced Leo, holding him close to her chest as he started to cry. She soothed and rocked him. She did all the things that a good mother did. She was a good mother to Leo and Joshua, and she'd be a good mother to their child. Their child. The mug slipped out of his hand, crashed down to the table and shattered. Hot milk went everywhere.

“I've got it.” He barely recognized his voice as he got up and grabbed a dish towel from the counter. He crouched down and picked up the pieces, wiped the towel over the table. He got most of it up but needed to grab some paper towels to finish the floor.

“I'll make you another cup,” Meg offered.

“No. That's alright. Sit, drink yours before it gets cold. I'm just going to go outside and have a smoke. I'll be right back in.”

Once he was outside, he looked up at the sky. Their child. He'd actually thought about having a kid, more than thought about it. In that moment it had felt like the most natural thing in the world, and the logical next step for the two of them. Except for one thing, one key thing: he was never going to be a father. He'd promised himself that the day that Brenda had taken her own life, he'd never pass on the flawed genetics given to them by their parents. The Grimes name would die with him. He'd been just fine with that for years, but now he could see Meg pregnant, see her holding a tiny bundle that was their child.

He'd been out there for a few minutes when he heard the back door open. “Hey.” Meg's voice made him turn his head.

“How's Leo?” Train took out his cigarettes and lit one.

“He's back in bed now. I think that he'll sleep. So, I figure he told you about Joshua.” She walked over to him, took the cigarette out of his hand and inhaled.

“Yeah, he did. Where is your jacket? Or a sweater? You can't be out here in a short-sleeve shirt,” Train chided her. At least she'd put slippers on this time, because he'd seen her come out in a pair of socks before.

“I'm not going to be out here long. Besides, the cold helps my head.”

“You have another headache?” Train realized it was the third headache in as many days. “Maybe you should go to the doctor or something.”

“I probably just need new glasses,” she told him.

“I've got a wild idea, go to the eye doctor, then. And don't say anything about what it costs. I will take care of it.” Train wasn't going to argue about it. If she needed glasses, she was getting glasses. “Go even wilder, get contacts.”

“Contacts? Uh, no. I am not good at putting things into my eye.” She shook her head. “Thanks for tonight with Leo. You're so good with him, and he loves you something fierce.” There was something sad in her eyes as she spoke, something more than Joshua.

“I love him, too.” The words were becoming easier and easier to say; it surprised him almost as much as how good it felt to hear them from Leo or Meg.

“And he knows that, it's why he was comfortable enough with you to tell you what he couldn't tell me. He worries so much, and that's my fault. I've always been a little high strung.” She shrugged her shoulders.

“You? Nah.” Train took the cigarette back and tossed it into the snow-covered yard. “You're just used to having the weight of the world on your shoulders. You need to learn to relax.” He placed his hands on her shoulders, pulled her closer to him. “I'm sorry I didn't answer the phone when you called. We were in the meeting, and I never turned it back on.”

“I figured that out. You'd know that if you listened to the voice mail.”

“I hate voice mails.” Train reminded her with a playful tug at a chunk of her hair. “You ready to go back in, or are you still trying to freeze your head?”

“Still trying to freeze my head. If you're cold you can...”

Train shut her up with his mouth. He kept one hand in her hair and ran the other down her body. Her head might not have responded to the cold yet, but her body, specifically her tits, definitely had. She moaned against his mouth when he pinched down lightly on her nipple through the soft material of her tee shirt. He did it again, harder. She gasped against his mouth. “You like that?”

“Yes. Yes.” She pushed her body closer to his, ran her hands over his arms. “But I'm really starting to get cold. We should go in. I told Leo that you would say good night even if he's sleeping.”

“Go on in and upstairs,” Train told her. “I'll lock up, see Leo and then I'm coming for you.” He watched her grin. “Be naked.” Even as he said the words, he wasn't sure that she would be. Lately, something had been off with them when it came to sex. Not that it wasn't good, because it was amazing, but she seemed to be back into the shyness of when they started.

“But I didn't shave,” she replied with a frown. “And I really needed to shave.”

“As long as I've got more leg hair than you do, we're good.” His reply made her laugh, which had been his goal. “Now, get upstairs and get naked. Don't make me tell you again.” She cocked an eyebrow at that, but a smile spread over her lips.

“What happens if you have to tell me again?”

“You really want to find out?” He reached out, ran his thumb over her nipple. She shuddered in response.

“I'm still standing here, aren't I?” Her grin was cocky now. Train reached out and pulled her to him. “Well, a hug doesn't seem so bad.”

“Don't be a smart ass,” he warned with a playful growl.

“Or what?” She shot back without hesitation. She did jump when he brought his hand down on her ass, hard. He worried it was too hard when her eyes went wide, but then he heard her moan. “Oh, that's nice. I am going to go inside because I'm freezing my tits off, but I want more of that anyway.”

Train had to laugh. He'd never loved her more than at that moment when she bravely looked up at him and spoke boldly, two things she knew turned him on. Two things he knew still weren't totally comfortable for her, which only made him appreciate it more. She turned and went into the house; the yoga pants she wore gave a really great view of her ass.

He took one last look around the back yard, followed her in and made sure to lock up. As soon as the weather let up, he was going to put in new windows, and then they'd be able to put an alarm system in. Train wanted to be a million-percent certain that Josh could never get into the house when he wasn't there.

Leo was already fast asleep with his covers kicked off onto the floor when Train pushed open the door to his room. He grabbed the comforter from the boy, spread it back over him. “Sweet dreams, kiddo.” He laid a hand on Leo's head. “I love you.” Before he left, he turned on the nightlight that Leo insisted he didn't need anymore. Train had a feeling tonight he might.

He walked down the hall to the bedroom, opened the door and was greeted by flickering candles on the dresser. Meg was on the bed, naked, as he'd asked. She was an incredible sight; he loved the way that her body was all curves and all his. She smiled at his attention and watched while he started to take off his clothes.

Train made quick work of it and then joined her on the bed. He stretched out next to her, pulled her close. “The candles are a nice touch. You feeling romantic tonight or something?”

“Or something,” she replied. “Mostly, I just want you. I love you.”

“I love you, too.” He knew that she needed to hear the words, to be reminded because of the years of abuse she'd taken from Josh. It was just another reason that the man was going to die slowly and painfully. Train reached out and ran his thumb over the spot on the front of her shoulder where he wanted to place his mark on her.

Meg reached out, her fingers danced over his stomach but then her hand moved down with purpose. Train groaned as she closed her hands around his length. He didn't move. It was pretty rare that she took charge, but he recognized the signs. She moved, pressed her hand against his chest so that he was flat on his back.

Her mouth skimmed along his jaw, down his throat and to his chest. Train let her explore. He didn't have the urge to pull back from her anymore, not even when she pressed a soft kiss to the spot where he had Brenda's name in the wood. His hands moved up to her hair when she got between his legs. Meg sat up, shook her head. “None of that. You'd better just lie there and take it. In fact, I'd better make sure that you don't move.”

She shifted off of him, walked over to the dresser and opened the top drawer. Train knew what they kept in that drawer so he was definitely interested to see what she came out with. He saw the handcuffs as soon as she turned.

“You told me that you liked to get tied up sometimes, but since your fancy headboard isn't here, I guess we'll have to make due with these.” She jingled the cuffs together.

“Those will work.” Train knew that if he wanted, he could still move his hands enough to touch her, but he wouldn't. He wanted to give control over to her, see where she took it. Meg was shaking; he could see it clearly as she got closer. “Hey. Look at me.” No matter how badly he wanted what was about to happen, he needed for her to be okay with it.

She met his eyes, smiled. “I guess I'm a wee bit nervous.”

“Don't be nervous,” he reassured her. “We don't have to do anything that you don't want to do.”

“I want to do this.” She got back on the bed, straddled him and leaned up to fasten the metal around his wrists. Train latched on to her nipple, felt her hips twitch as he sucked hard and deep. She fastened the cuffs and let his wrists drop back.

He didn't realize he was holding his breath until she was back between his legs. Her hand stroked him, and then he felt the silky warmth of her mouth around him. Fuck. His hands itched to grab her hair so he clenched his fingers tightly, let the sensations flow over him as he watched her head moving up and down between his legs.

It was fucking hot to see her there, even hotter when she shifted so that he had a perfect view of her tits. Train realized what she intended to do before she did it but it didn't detract from the feeling of those perfect tits around his cock. “Fuck.” He heard her giggle, and then her mouth was back on him. Her tongue swirled around the tip of his cock as she continued to work him with her tits.

He groaned when she stopped but his disappointment was short-lived when she moved to straddle him again. Train felt her heat against him. It was almost torture to feel her so close and not be able to do anything about it, to have to wait for her to move.

She met his eyes as she reached between them to guide him to her. He felt her heat, the warmth of it enough to make him groan. He tried to think of something else, anything else, so that he didn't embarrass himself like a horny teenager when she sank slowly down on him. Inside she was even hotter, though she was wet for him, she was so tight.

Her hands pressed down on his chest, kept him in place as she began to ride him. Meg moved slowly, her fingers gripping into his shoulders as the motions of her hips became harder and faster. Her breath was uneven now, more of a pant. Her movements became erratic, and Train knew that she was close by the way she began to grind her body against his. “Fuck. Come on. Come all over my dick. Let me feel you.”

It was the talking that pushed her over the edge, Train knew it. She threw her head back and came with a scream that hopefully didn't wake Leo. “Holy shit.” Meg leaned forward, kissed him. “That was fantastic.”

“Take the cuffs off, it's your turn.” Train felt his cock start to rise again as she fumbled for the keys. The second the cuffs were off, he had them around her wrists. He flipped her over so that she was on her elbows and knees. “Spread those legs for me, nice and wide.”

She opened herself to him. Train placed both hands on her ass and squeezed. She looked over her shoulder at him, and he grinned. “I didn't forget what I promised.” He ran his hand down her spine, pressed her shoulders down. “Keep it nice and high for me.”

She jumped when he brought his hand down hard on the curve of her ass, cried out and pushed her ass back. “More!”

His hand came down again in the same spot. He could already see the redness creeping in. Train slid two fingers into her, found her dripping and ready. She moved desperately against his hand. He hit her again and he felt her walls clench. “You want to come? You want to come hard?”