All That Matters (10 page)

“What are you going to do now?” He was always oddly practical, so of course he'd voice the one question that had taken root in her mind on the ride home. What was she going to do now? No job. No savings. Plenty of bills. Two boys to worry about. She should probably go back to the hotel, grovel to Doug until he gave her the job back, but the thought of doing so made her really sad inside.

“I honestly don't know.” She leaned her head back against the couch. “I think I fucked up. I'm almost sure that I fucked up.” Meg concentrated on the feeling of Train's fingers moving in slow circles on her leg. The touch was simple enough, but it was so comforting that she almost wanted to cry.

“You shouldn't work somewhere where they treat you like shit, Meg. You know that. Speaking of treating you like shit, how's Josh been lately?” Train kept stroking her leg. She wasn't even sure that he realized what he was doing.

“He's barely been at the house,” she admitted. “And when he is, he behaves. It's been a little weird that he's so quiet.” Weird, worrisome and very much not like Josh. Meg wasn't sure what he had up his sleeve, but she knew that there had to be something, that he would strike when she least expected it. Her biggest fear was that he'd do something to take the boys from her.

“Quiet is good,” Train observed, a pleased smile on his face.

“Maybe.” Meg shifted so that she could lean forward and grab the beers. “Sorry, I really need a drink right about now.” She handed one to him. “Cheers.”

“No need to apologize. I've got some tequila in the kitchen if you need something stronger,” he offered as he clinked his bottle against hers.

“I'd love something stronger, but I shouldn't. I've got to get dinner going for the boys, and it's Friday so they'll want to watch a movie.” Since it was her payday, they'd expect to rent a movie and for her to order pizza. Any change in the routine was going to mean she was in for a night of attitude from Joshua and a very disappointed Leo.

“What's for dinner?” he asked. She wasn't surprised that he'd focus on the food. He liked to eat.

“Pizza,” Meg replied while she tried to remember if she had any of the coupons for Pizza Place left. The pizza was nowhere as good as the pizza at Gino's, but it was cheaper, and the boys weren't known for being very picky, as long as there was extra cheese.

“I've got a whole mess of movies here. I'm sure some of them are even appropriate for the boys.” He chuckled. “I could bring one over and some pizza. And you could have a couple of shots of tequila now, take the edge off.”

“That's really nice of you,” Meg could also see that it made him uncomfortable. A blind person could have seen that he was uncomfortable. It wasn't lost on her that he'd been that way since he opened the door. Maybe she'd violated the 'just fun' rule by showing up. She'd only wanted to give him his money back. “You sure that you want to do that?”

“I don't say shit I don't mean. It's fucking pizza and a movie. You want to get tipsy or not?” Train snapped the words. He got short-tempered when he was angry. Meg knew the signs, but unlike the displays of temper which she'd seen from Josh, he never struck out. Instead, he got snappy. It was strangely endearing.

“Okay, it's fucking pizza and a movie. And tequila,” she added.

“I'll go and grab the bottle. I don't have any lemons.”

“I don't need lemons to drink tequila.” Meg took a sip of her beer. It had felt good to get what had happened off her chest, or maybe it felt good to sit there and see Train taking such care with her even though he was obviously out of his element.

“Good to know.” He left the room and Meg sat up. She took off her coat and the scarf she'd wrapped around her neck and laid them over the arm of the couch. Her foot brushed a stack of DVDs stacked on the bottom shelf of the coffee table. They fell, and she leaned down to pick them up and froze.

They were porn. All porn, and not fluffy girl on girl stuff either. She saw whips, gags and women so restrained that she was surprised they could blink. The beer came back up in her throat, and she choked. “Hey, you okay?”

Meg coughed and the bottle fell from her hand. “Shit. Shit.” The glass bottle hit the hard wood and shattered. “Oh God, I'll clean that up.”

“Don't worry about it. You okay? You're pale as a ghost.” He looked down, saw the porn. “Oh, well shit. I see you found my dirty little secret. I like porn. I get bored easy, so I like a little variety. I didn't even think about it being out. Normally, only the guys come over, and they couldn't give a fuck about porn.”

Meg decided to focus on anything that wasn't a discussion on porn. “You don't bring women here?” He nodded. “I showed up here and you invited me in?” He nodded again. “And we're having a date tonight.” She'd been spot on that he was uncomfortable; knowing why just made her want to reach out and hug him.

“It's not a date. It's pizza and beer and the kids. Fuck, that is a date, isn't it?” He actually frowned. “I think I need some of this tequila now.” He looked down at the bottle in his hand long and hard.

“I get that you're way out of your comfort zone with all this.” Meg stepped over the broken bottle carefully so that she could be closer to him. “If it helps any, I am too.” She searched his face for any sign that it helped. When he smiled and reached out to grip her chin, she felt a warmth spread to her.

“Do you have a dustpan and broom?”

“Who doesn't have a dustpan and broom?” he countered. “You're worried about cleaning up the broken bottle?” Train laughed. “You worry too fucking much.”

Meg opened her mouth to protest that she didn't, though she knew that she did, but before she could, his mouth was on hers. The kiss surprised her; he was soft, even sweet, as his mouth moved against hers. She gave into it, to him, and let her arms move around his neck.

He broke the kiss, his voice strained. “How long before the boys get back from school?”

Meg knew just where his mind was. Hers wasn't far behind him. A quick glance at her watch told her that they only had twenty minutes before the boys would be home and expecting her there. It was hardly enough time. “Twenty minutes.” She laughed when he actually groaned. “Twenty minutes is enough time for something else.”

She didn't know where the words came from, but the look on his face when she spoke them made her smile. It made her feel warm and safe. His smile was the reason she was able to push the cornucopia of porn out of her mind as she reached out to undo his belt.

<#<#<#<#<#

“You both better be on your best behavior. Please try not to act like savages.” Meg was more worried about Joshua acting up than Leo. She couldn't single him out; it would start a fight before the night had even started.

“Is he your boyfriend now, or are you just fucking him?” Joshua asked.

Meg's head spun towards him so sharply that she thought she might have actually hurt herself. “You're eleven years old, Joshua. I don't want to hear that sort of language out of your mouth.”

“Whatever. You didn't answer the question.” He jutted his chin out defiantly which only made him look even more like his father. Josh had been an angry teenager, the hormones turning him into a snarling monster at the slightest provocation. It seemed that Joshua was heading down the same path, or at least that was what Meg hoped. Part of her wondered if it was something more and if there was something that she should do.

“Don't you whatever me, either.” Meg counted to ten slowly in her head. She did a lot of that in order to keep her composure. “You know you need to apologize for that language, Joshua. Train is my friend, and an adult, so you're going to treat him with the same respect you know that you're supposed to treat me with.”

“Whatever,” Joshua replied again. There was a smirk on his lips that made Meg's heart hurt because she knew that nothing she was saying was going to get through to him. “Can I just stay upstairs?”

Even though Meg figured it would probably be a much more peaceful night if she let him hibernate upstairs, she said, “No, You're going to stay down here, have pizza, and we're all going to watch a movie. You're going to behave, and it's going to be a nice night.”

“It'd be nicer if Dad was here. Can I call him, invite him?” Joshua, the little shit, seemed determined to keep poking at her. She'd really hoped that she'd been raising him to turn out different from his father, but right now she wasn't sure. “I'm sure he'd love to meet your new friend.”

“I'll be good, Meg,” Leo spoke up.

“Kiss-ass,” Joshua muttered.

“Thank you, Leo.” Meg smiled down at him. He was always so good, so calm. She wasn't sure where he'd gotten it from because calm didn't really describe anyone in their family, not even her. She cut her eyes to Joshua. “Don't call your brother names. And don't roll your eyes at me.” The doorbell rang before Joshua could come up with another wise-ass comment.

“I'll get it.” Leo took off towards the front door. Joshua mumbled something under his breath again, but she didn't catch what it was. She let it slide, even though she probably shouldn't have, because it was easier when she could hear that Train was inside the house.

The sight of him sent a pulse through her entire body. Meg had managed to convince herself that she didn't miss or need sex, but he'd proved her wrong from the first time he'd gotten his hands on her. Even with the boys in the room, all she could think about was jumping him. “Hey.”

“I got the pizza. And beer. And soda for the kids. Oh, and I grabbed a bunch of movies. I figured you could just pick, Meg.”

“That all sounds good. Hey Joshua, do you want to pick the movie?” Meg asked, with the hope that he'd take the olive branch. He didn't. Instead he shook his head and glared. “How about you, Leo?” Leo shot forward with a smile. “Let me help you with some of that.”

“I got it. Just point me towards wherever you want me to put it.” Train actually shifted so that she couldn't take anything out of his hands.

“We can eat in the living room and put the movie in now.” Maybe if they put the movie on, there would just be eating and watching. Meg was sure that if Joshua went into a meltdown, Train would be out the door in no time. He already seemed ready to bolt.

She really hoped that he didn't. She wanted him to stick around. She wanted him with her, and that alone was enough to make her nervous. What they had, what they were doing, was supposed to just be fun, but now she could see the possibility of more. Fuck, she didn't even know if it was what he wanted, and she couldn't jump to conclusions just because he'd spent a night at her house and brought over dinner and a movie.

“You're not eating.” Train's voice snapped her out of her thoughts. He'd spoken low enough that the boys hadn't even looked over at them.

“Oh.” Meg looked down at her plate; sausage and pepper pizza was her favorite. Had he known that or was it just a coincidence? It had to be a coincidence, because he couldn't have known. It was delicious, but she'd been too busy keeping an eye on Joshua to pay much attention to it. “I guess I was watching the movie.”

“You mean the previews?” He looked amused as he took a bite of his pizza. “If you don't like it, we can order something else.”

“No. It's actually my favorite.”

“So, eat then.” He lifted his beer. “And drink. Relax and watch whatever the hell movie this is.” Meg took a bite of the pizza. She washed it down with a swallow of beer, and he turned his attention back to the screen.

The movie started, something full of car chases, explosions and loud music. There were scantily-dressed women who she figured were the sole reason that Leo had chosen it. She let him have his cheap thrill because boobs would definitely keep Joshua's attention on the movie and not on saying or doing something to ruin the nice night.

Meg relaxed as the movie continued to play and their used dishes were piled up on the coffee table. Leo was stretched out on the floor. Joshua was on the other couch. Train was as relaxed as she'd ever seen him. He noticed her attention and moved his hand onto her leg. It wasn't a sexual touch, just his hand on her knee, but it sent fire through her either way.