All of You (15 page)

“Are you cold?” Lincoln finally asked.

I thought about it for a moment. “No. Not at
all,” I realized.

He smirked and grabbed my hand. “Let’s go
back.”

Lincoln left once we returned from our walk.
He gave me another smoldering kiss on the sidewalk, waited for me
to return to the house, and then drove off. I was glad he had come
over, but I was also grateful he was leaving early. I did have an
early morning.

He was going to be out of town the next two
nights for away games. I was trying to take this one step at a
time, but I already knew I was falling for him fast. Maybe a few
days apart would be good. I made my way to bed, and just before my
head hit the pillow I received a good night text from Lincoln. I
replied with a kiss and drifted off to sleep.

~~~~~~~~

The next three mornings, I woke without a
text from Lincoln. I wasn’t surprised, though. He had already
admitted that was too early in the morning for him. Plus he had two
late night games and he was traveling. There was no way I expected
him to be up to wish me good morning. I didn’t mind, though. It
gave me a chance to send him the first text of the day. We
exchanged texts throughout the day while he was gone, and I watched
both of his games. When Lincoln and his teammates won, I sent a
picture of me with a happy face giving the camera a thumbs-up, and
when they lost the next night I sent Lincoln a sad goofy-face
picture.

We talked on the phone the night he got back
to Chicago. He wanted to come over, but I assured him we would see
each other the next day. He didn’t seem happy about that, but I
didn’t want to become completely wrapped up in him.

“That’ll be Friday night. We could do, like,
an actual date. If you want…” I told him as I lay in bed.

“Mm… date night. That sounds good. What would
you like to do?” he asked.

I had no idea what a good date activity would
be. I mean, we could do dinner and a movie, but I didn’t want to
suggest it in case he thought it was lame. “Is it too much pressure
if I ask you to surprise me?”

He chuckled. “No, I can do that as long as
you’re cool with anything…”

“Yeah, I don’t care what we do…” I paused.
“…as long as we’re together.”

“Well, we could be together right now, but
you won’t let me come over,” Lincoln said, teasing.

I bit my lip and rolled over on my side,
holding the phone close to my ear. “Mm… I’m already in bed. What on
earth could we be doing if you were here?” I asked with faked
innocence, knowing I should not be encouraging him. I heard Lincoln
inhale sharply in the phone.

“Jillian…” Lincoln whispered into the
phone.

“I miss you,” I admitted.

“Princess. I miss you too. Now go to sleep so
I can see you tomorrow.”

“Okay. Text me the details for tomorrow
night,” I requested and we said our good-byes and hung up. I lay
there for minute, thinking back over the conversation. It had been
cruel to tease Lincoln that I was in bed without him. I wanted to
give this man my heart, but I didn’t know if I could give him my
body. My ugly, scarred body. He deserved better than that.

I woke up Friday morning in a bad mood. I
fell asleep arguing to myself over whether to tell Lincoln to
truth. I knew he deserved the truth, but I liked the way he made me
feel. I liked how he looked at me like I was beautiful and I knew
that would end if he knew what I looked like under my clothes.

Lincoln had texted me at noon saying he would
pick me up at five and to ask Rebecca for advice on what to wear.
Apparently he had asked Rebecca for date ideas, although how he had
gotten Rebecca’s phone number, I wasn’t sure. My sister was off
from work and noticed my mood as soon as I got home from work. She
insisted on helping me find an outfit to wear, and as we picked
through my closet, Rebecca asked me what was wrong.

“Oh, nothing,” I lied. “Just tired.”

“Are you excited about your date?”

I shrugged. I probably should show more
enthusiasm. “I suppose. When did you talk to Lincoln?”

“He called this morning. He wanted to make
sure you’d like his surprise,” Rebecca said excitedly, bouncing on
the balls of her feet.

“I forced him to make it a surprise but now
I’m worried. What if he takes me to a pool or something? I can’t
wear a swimming suit.”

Rebecca rolled her eyes. “He’s not,
Jillian.”

“But it’s still going to be a problem
eventually if we keep up like this. I want to tell him so he can
decide if I’m too ugly to date, but I don’t want to lose him.”

“You are not ugly! Stop thinking that way,”
she exclaimed.

“Rebecca, my scars are hideous. I don’t want
him to know how ugly I am, but I feel so guilty lying to him. Every
time he calls me beautiful it reminds me how much I don’t deserve
him.”

“Jillian…” she began, but I interrupted.

“But then he kisses me, and I forget all
about not being beautiful. But then I worry about him wanting to
take things further and I panic.” I was getting myself worked
up.

“Would you cut it out?!” Rebecca said. “You
are beautiful.”

I scoffed.

“Think about it, Jillian. The last girl he
dated was Mackenzie. She’s Miss Illinois. Winner of the ultimate
beauty pageant in the whole state, right?”

“You’re not making me feel better, Becca,” I
said, cynically.

“He had her, and now he doesn’t want anything
to do with her because of how ugly she is on the inside. He can see
that, Jillian. And he can see you are nothing like her. You do have
an inner beauty. Even if you won’t admit you have an outer beauty.
You know you are a good person. That’s what attracted him to
you.”

I sniffed. “He told you that?”

“He didn’t have to, Jillian. I can see it
when he looks at you.”

I knew I was a good person. I knew I wasn’t
anything like Mackenzie. But that still didn’t solve my problem. “I
still don’t know how to tell him.”

“Baby steps, Jilly Bean. He’s not going to
force you to get naked on your first date,” Rebecca said with a
smile, and I blushed. “All right. You’ve got an hour and a half
until he gets here. Tabitha should be home from school soon. Maybe
you should take a nap?”

That sounded nice. “Thanks, Rebecca,” I told
her as she handed me an outfit and left me alone.

I woke up to the feeling of the mattress
dipping down as if someone had just sat down on my bed. I opened my
eyes and saw it was significantly darker in my room than it had
been when I fell asleep. I looked up and saw Lincoln looking down
at me, smiling. He brushed a lock of hair out of my face and leaned
down closer.

“Time to wake up, Sleeping Beauty,” he said
before pressing his lips against mine. I think he meant for it to
be a quick peck, but I snaked my arms around his neck and held him
close. I kissed him back strongly and only stopped when he
untangled my arms from around his neck and pulled back. I frowned
up at him, and he laughed.

“If you keep doing that we’re going to miss
our date,” Lincoln said. “And I don’t think your sister would like
us up here alone in your bed with your niece awake downstairs.”

My eyes flew to his. I had kind of forgotten
about Tabitha. He was right. My bedroom door was open, and Tabitha
could have walked in at any time.

“I missed you,” I said sheepishly as I sat up
in bed.

“I missed you too, Princess,” he said with a
smile and stood up. “Now get ready. I’ll wait downstairs.”

And that was all it took for me to scramble
into my closet to retrieve the outfit Rebecca picked out.

I quickly changed clothes and put on my brown
leather boots that came up almost to my knees. They had a flat
chunky heel, and I liked them and thought they went well with my
outfit. My sister had picked out a pair of tight skinny jeans and a
lacey cream button-down top over a cream tank top. She had set out
some dangly bracelets, a long looping necklace, and a pair of large
stud earrings. I wanted to do something special with my hair. but
since I had overslept, I simply pulled all of it to the side under
and behind my ear and secured it with bobby pins, creating a messy
side bun. I quickly touched up my makeup and stood back to look in
the mirror. It’ll do, I thought. Especially considering I didn’t
know what we were doing.

I bounded down the step and found everyone in
the living room. Tabitha was playing on her tablet, and Lincoln and
Rebecca were talking quietly on the sofa. They stopped immediately
as I walked into the room, and Lincoln stood up.

“Jillian. You are beautiful,” Lincoln said,
walking over to me.

“Thank you,” I replied, feeling the blush
rise in my cheeks. It was just an old shirt and some boots. Lincoln
was wearing a tight charcoal sweater that looked amazing on him and
jeans that I could tell were tight enough to show off his ass. In
fact, I suspected that’s what had captured Rebecca’s attention as
he stood up and walked over to me.

“Ready to go? Are you hungry?” he asked, and
I blinked and looked up at him trying to hide the fact that I had
been staring at his body. The smirk on his face told me he knew I
had been checking him out.

I smiled, trying to cover my embarrassment.
“Yes and yes. What are we doing?”

“Nope
—
you wanted this to be a
surprise,” he said stubbornly.

I smiled again and bit my lip. Despite my
earlier trepidation, now that he was here, I was excited.

We donned our coats and said good-bye to
Rebecca and Tabitha. “Thanks again, Rebecca,” Lincoln said as he
held the front door open for me.

“I won’t wait up!” Rebecca said with a smirk,
and she closed the door behind us.

I was surprised at the direction in which
Lincoln was driving once we started out. The closest movie theater
was in the opposite direction, and most other date-night activities
would be downtown, but Lincoln was driving us away from that area.
I was going to ask again what we were doing tonight, but stopped
myself, figuring he wouldn’t tell me anyway. I was surprised when
he pulled into the strip mall parking lot and parked the car in
front of a high-end department store.

“What are we doing here?” I asked, no longer
able to contain my curiosity.

“We’re buying you a coat,” Lincoln said
simply and got out of the vehicle. I scrambled to undo my seat belt
and get out. I met him at the front of the SUV and immediately
stuttered my protest as he took my hand and began pulling me toward
the store.

“Linc, you don’t have to do this,” I said,
pulling back on his hand.

“I know. But I want to.” He looked down at me
with concern. “Please let me.”

I sighed and knew there was no point in
arguing.

Shopping with Lincoln was actually pretty
quick and painless. Since it was Friday night, the store was fairly
empty. The two blond female clerks recognized Lincoln immediately
and fawned over him, leaving me to wander through the display
racks. I quickly found the clearance rack and began looking for my
size.

“What about this one?” Lincoln asked,
suddenly standing next to me holding up a gorgeous coat. I reached
for the price tag and my eyes bugged out. It was almost five times
what I had paid for the coat Lincoln had covered in hot
chocolate.

“Lincoln! That’s too much money!” I
gasped.

He shook his head. “No, it’s not.”

“This is way more than I paid for the coat
you ruined. If you want to replace that coat, you don’t have to pay
this much.”

He sighed and lowered the coat slightly.
“Jillian. I’m not buying you a new coat because I feel guilty I
ruined your old one. I’m buying you a new coat because I care about
you and I want you to have it.” Lincoln paused and held it up
again. “Try it on?”

I felt unworthy of Lincoln’s care and
therefor unworthy of this coat. I stared at it as Lincoln held it
out for me. It was a soft pink peacoat with a sash that tied in the
front. It flared out slightly at the waist and had a hood that was
lined with fake white fur as well as the cuffs of the sleeves. It
was gorgeous.

“Did you pick this out?” I asked Lincoln,
looking up at him. He smiled and nodded. I ran my fingers through
the fur lining and sighed. I took my coat off and draped it over a
nearby rack. Lincoln smiled big as he held the coat up and helped
me into it. I fastened the big white buttons and tied the sash and
looked up at Lincoln with raised eyebrows.

“Baby, it looks great on you,” Lincoln said
as he stood back and admired me, which of course caused me to
blush.

I looked over and saw the salesclerks
watching us with envious eyes. I walked to a mirror and admired the
coat. I doubted if this coat would look bad on anyone. For as
expensive as it was, it should look good on anyone.

I looked up at Lincoln and saw concern on his
face and hope in his eyes. Ugh. Fine. If he wanted to spend his
money on me, who was I to stop him? I nodded, and Lincoln grinned
big.

“Yeah?” Lincoln asked, and I nodded again. He
wrapped his arms around me, lifted me up against his chest, and
kissed me deeply with joy, and I giggled against his mouth. He
pulled his face back from mine while still holding me up against
him and smiled big again. “Thanks, baby.”

“Thank YOU,” I replied and kissed him
again.

Lincoln paid for the coat while I was still
wearing it. One of the clerks removed the security card and cut the
tags off while the other clerk swiped Lincoln’s card. They both
attempted to flirt with him while shooting daggers at me, but
Lincoln didn’t take his eyes off me.

I could hardly believe he wanted to spend
this much money on me, but it really was a lovely coat, and the way
Lincoln was looking at me made me feel beautiful. Lincoln thanked
the clerks, and we exited the store, one of his hands carrying my
old coat and his other hand firmly around mine. Once we got out
into the mostly empty parking lot, I pulled my hand free of his and
skipped ahead of him as he attempted to grab me. I turned to face
him, walking backward.