All I Want is You (Hearts on Fire Book 1) (7 page)

Jake shifts his position, moving his weight from one leg to the other, and folds his arms over his chest.

Ellie stares at Tanner.  “Nope.  I believe they can be rehabilitated.  Everyone is capable of it, no matter how bad of a person they might be,” she says.  “I believe people can change.”

“The issue has more to do with the current penal system problem,” Jake interjects, “than it does with the death penalty itself.”

“Keep your penile problems to yourself, bro.” Tanner laughs.

“Let me be more to the point,” Jake glares at Tanner.  “This isn’t the kind of conversation a man has over Mint Juleps… and I'm not in the mood for scotch.”

“What happened to the party?” Naomi says.

“Exactly,” Jake says to Naomi, taking her hand, leading her to the dance floor.

Tanner turns to Ellie.  “He gets a little excited when he drinks,” he motions his hand to his mouth.  “Anyway, I’ve got to go see an old friend, but I don’t want to leave you all alone.  Wanna come with?”  

“No, uh, thanks,” Ellie responds.  She’s skeptical of his motives for reasons she can’t explain, and is slightly embarrassed because of it.  “I’m going to get some air.”

Tanner looks around and up to the open sky above, perplexed by the paradox in Ellie’s words.  “Suit yourself,” he says in a low voice.

Ellie walks to the place where Jake stood moments ago, overlooking the water.  Her mind wrestles— for what seems like hours— with his take on the death penalty, turning it over in her mind, countless ways.  
Our values don’t all have to line up exactly, do they?
 

In the end, she can't fight it any longer.  The questions don’t stop, and the answers are a complicated mess of yeses and nos.  She decides to rest on her first belief— that people can in fact change.  

As for the devastatingly handsome Jake Harlow—he’s just going to take some work, that's all
.

“You should have danced with me first,” Ellie looks up as Jake nestles up to her, leaning slightly to the side and over the rail.

“My mistake,” Jake admits, “Tanner caught me a little off-guard, and I don’t enjoy politics around dinnertime.”

“I don’t enjoy them at all,” Ellie grins.

“Sort of a necessary evil, aren’t they?”

“Like dancing?”

“Really?” Jake asks.

“I thought you might have figured that out last week… not really my thing,” she looks away.

“Then we won’t dance at all,” he pauses.  “But, I have to ask, what
is
your thing?”

“Writing,” Ellie says, but it comes out as more of a question.

“That’s a rather solitary endeavor, you know.”

“I don’t think I’ll ever fully be myself, won’t ever feel complete, until I get it all out,” her eyes lower.  “I guess I can’t really share with anybody, the things I don’t know.”

Jake lifts her chin.  “God, you’re beautiful,” he runs the tips of his fingers across her forehead, pulling a few strings of her hair to the side, and over her ear.  “Stay with me tonight.”  

“Is that your idea of slow?”

“I can’t wait,” Jake leans forward.  “We’re taking a midnight ride, just a few of us.”

Ellie inhales the scent of his cologne.  One whiff is enough to make her core pulse with excitement, to forget what he even said.

“I need to taste you again,” he whispers in her ear.

WHOA.  
Ellie’s face warms.  She wraps her arm around the nape of his neck without thinking about it.  

“If it wasn’t for all these people,” his lips brush down her neck. “I’d take you right here.”

“They won’t really notice your head between my legs,” Ellie whispers.   

“You don’t
really
want me to do that.”

Ellie nibbles on his ear lobe.  She can feel the wetness in her panties.

“I’m already about to lose control,” Jake adds.

She gasps.  “I might like that.”

“Oh, fuck, Ell, you’re so hot,” he says.  

But a slightly nervous expression grips his face, and he pulls back.  He looks over at the crowd of folks dancing.  “Not now.”

Ellie grins, then turns to walk away from him, sliding a finger down his cheek, across his chin.  “Then I’ll see you at midnight.”

***

The yacht pulls away from the dock just after the last guest steps over the bridge and lands on the dock, eleven-forty-seven pm by Ellie’s watch.  

Jake, Tanner, Naomi and Ellie are all who remain on board, aside from the Captain, who, upon Jake’s orders, returns to the wheelhouse.  

“In an hour, we’ll see stars,” Jake says to no one in particular.

Naomi is seated on Tanner’s lap, facing him, with arms stretched over his shoulders.  “I’d hoped to see them sooner than that,” she whispers in his ear.  But her words are loud enough that Jake and Ellie hear them too.  

Jake smirks.

“Did I show you the guest cabin yet?” Tanner motions his head toward the middle of the boat.

“I don’t believe you did,” Naomi gets up, “but I’ve been dying to see it.”   She winks at Ellie as they walk off together.

“There’s some place I want to show you as well,” Jake reaches for Ellie’s hand.  

She sits silent for a moment.  A light sweat covers her palms, despite the cool night air.  

“Come on,” he grasps her hands and pulls her to her feet.

They walk under the overhang to a door toward the side of the boat.  Through the door, they go up a flight of stairs, then left up a dozen more steps.  They walk out onto the highest point of the boat, an open sundeck.

Lights string the perimeter rails, illuminating chaise lounges along the edge.  “Have a seat,” Jake points.   

“It’s beautiful from up here,” Ellie looks out to the horizon.  The first visible stars are above the Atlantic, shining bright over the eastern edge of the boat.   

The string lights around the rails go off, but Ellie doesn’t notice.  A moment later, Jake glides into the seat, slipping his arm around her.  Heat radiates from his body as it brushes against hers.   

“I could lay up here all night,” Ellie says as she nestles into him.

“I could lay up here my whole life, if it were next to you,” Jake replies, running his finger down the smooth contour of her cheek.  

The city is behind them now, but its lights still illuminate the primal hunger in his eyes.  Other men have looked at Ellie, but none of them in the raw, sensual way Jake does now.

The warmth of his mouth makes her bare shoulder tingle, before caressing the smooth skin of her neck.

“What about the others?” She asks.

Shivers race down her spine as his tongue tickles her ear.  

“The captain?”

He nibbles on her earlobe.

She might as well be speaking sign language to someone who isn't looking.

His hand slips under her dress.

“Naomi and Tan—”

She sucks in a sharp breath as his fingers slide between her panties and into her bare wet flesh.  After the initial shock wave pulses through her, she adjusts her hips to take in more of his strong, but soothing hand.  As her body begins to let go, it leaves her hesitating mind behind.   

He hovers over her as his tongue caresses her lips before sliding in to explore the rest of her mouth.  

Just the taste of him— the sweetness of his kiss— is enough to drive her crazy.  “What happens if
I
lose control?”

“You’re so dirty,” Jake groans.

“That’s not an answer,” Ellie holds back her smile.

“Then we’ll have to fuck
each other
senseless.”   

Ellie lets out a soft moan.  At first there were flames, then searing heat, but now, a roaring fire burns inside her.  

“And then there’d be no turning back?” She asks.

“Forever,” he replies.

She turns his words over and over in her head.  And somehow ‘forever’ doesn’t seem like very long to her anymore.  Instead, it seems like... well… just about perfect.

This is the moment she’s been waiting for her whole life.  The moment she’s been saving, holding out on for so long.  And now she wants it more than anything she’s ever wanted.

She reaches for his pants with both hands, one for the button, and the other for the zipper.  Her eyes widen as she exposes his full length before taking his shaft into her hands for the first time.  

“
Ellie
,” Jake says.

She loves the sweet way her name rolls off his lips— loves the thought that it will be the only name he speaks that way ever again.  “Say it again.”

“Fuck, Ell, your touch makes me so crazy,” he lets out a deep growl.  His gaze grows more intense each second.

Every neuron fires in Ellie’s core as she tugs at the sides of his pants, sliding them down further.  
Consequences be damned.

His hands are on her back as she rolls toward him, giving way to the zipper at the back of her dress.  He slides it down, plucks her bra off with one hand and caresses the swell of her breast with his tongue.  

She shivers as her hushed moans are the only thing breaking the quiet of the night.  Impossible to hold back, they grow louder with each gentle stroke below, the supple way in which his warm lips brush over her soft skin, her own lips still tingling from his kiss.  Intimacy was never so easy, or so pleasurable, with anyone else.

She slides her dress off, leaving only a thin layer of panties between her and the throbbing hardness in her hands.  

But he slides those off next, his eyes pouring over every ounce of her tender body, blood storming through his veins as he watches her chest rise and fall with the increasing pace of her breaths.  “I’ve never been with a woman as beautiful as you.”

She drinks the entire scene in, too— his big, sexy erection, her own flesh now ready for him.  “Me neither,” she laughs, unsure how she’s even able to talk at this point.

“Do you—”

“—have protection?” He finishes her sentence as he pulls a condom from his ruffled pants, now a balled mess on the deck.  He covers himself.  “This might hurt a little.  I promise to be gentle.”

But Ellie is long beyond pleasantries.  If she’s going to do it, she wants the full experience.  She wants
more
than the full experience, in fact, more than he’s ever given to anyone else.  All for herself.  “I don’t want gentle.  I want everything you have,” she grasps his hips and pulls him closer.

Jake slides in softly, gently at first.  “Fuck, you’re
so
tight.”  

“Sorry, I—” Ellie starts to say.  

“No, it’s…
incredible
,” Jake moans as he adjusts his position and slides in further.  

Her body leans into his, her hips altering to take more of him in.  

“Your body was built for mine,” Jake says.  “We’re perfect—”  

“Together,” Ellie finishes
his
sentence.

And with one hard plunge, the sexiest man she’s ever known is finally, fully inside her.  

She clutches his hips tighter as the pain slowly dissipates with each thrust, her ecstasy rising each time he glides in, falling each time he pulls away.  A series of peaks send her flying miles past anywhere she’s ever been before, followed by valleys that wreck her body, and leave her wanting more and higher highs, all of her worries fast floating away.   

Together, their cries of pleasure fill the clear night sky, until finally she shudders, bucks her hips and her release is full, and only eclipsed by his, their breathless bodies falling recklessly into each other.

“That was amazing.  
You’re
amazing,” Jake says.

“Say it again,” she smiles.

Moments later, in the large stateroom below the deck, Ellie climbs into bed, her hair in tangles, her cheeks a warm pink, her head still spinning over their sex.  She’d never given herself so fully to anyone, and she certainly hadn’t seen anyone as spectacular as Jake Harlow coming her way.

For the first time in her life, she realizes that at this given moment, more than any other, she has everything she wants— the guy, the money (enough for a while, she guesses), and most importantly, the pieces of her story are beginning to come together, her dream of publishing it
finally
in sight.  

She looks over at Jake’s motionless body and breathes a sigh of relief.  Such things actually do happen in New York City, she thinks, before she drifts off to sleep herself, a smile still pasted on her face
.

Ellie wakes up to a loud voice outside their door.  She wipes the sleep from her eyes and reaches over to the warm body still next to her in bed.  Jake rustles around, then pulls the covers over his head.  But Ellie can’t ignore it.  She hasn’t heard this kind of language very often in her life.  And never in the middle of the night.  

She slides out of bed, walks to the door, presses her ear against it.  More cursing is audible, but further away now.

She looks out the small circular window on the other side of the room.  It’s dark.  They’re still a good distance from the city lights, but the boat doesn't appear to be moving.  For reasons she doesn’t understand, she turns back to the door, opens it and steps out into the main corridor.  The door at the end of the hall is open.  When she gets to that door, she’s stopped in her tracks.

At the end of the aft deck, a shivering Tanner leans over the rail.  Beads of sweat dot his forehead.  There's no sign of Naomi.

Ellie glances behind her.  The hall is quiet.  Jake must not have heard.  When she turns back, she’s shocked to find that Tanner is staring directly at her, a cold, hard look on his face.  But what's shocking to Ellie isn't his expression, it's the fact that he’s holding a necklace, clutched in his hand, arm stretched out, dangling over the open water.  And it's not the pearls she wore earlier this evening.

Horror creeps its way up Ellie’s spine.  Her heart pounds.  She steps toward him.  "Where did you get that?" she scowls.  She is beyond certain she left it on the end table in the main cabin, by her side of the bed.

Tanner’s expression turns into a tight grimace.  His hand clutches the necklace, holding it out in front of Ellie as if it were some grave temptation, balling his hand into a fist around her red pendant.  

Fits of aggression,
Ellie recalls what Jake had said.  But her stomach drops out, because nothing’s prepared her for what Tanner says next…

“You don't need this anymore.”

What?  
Ellie recoils in surprise.  “That’s not for you to decide," she snaps.  "Give me the necklace, Tanner.  Right now."

His eyes squint.  His lips even out.  "You don't need this anymore,” he says again, this time through clenched teeth.  

A deep throaty voice booms from behind Ellie.  "What the fuck are you doing?" Jake storms past her.  

"Just stay out of this," Tanner glares at him.

"The fuck I will," Jake snorts.  “Give me the necklace.”

Tanner leans out, further over the edge of the rail.  His hand is still clutched, but Ellie can see his grip loosening.  The necklace slides from his palm to the middle of his fingers, hanging that much closer to the water.  

Ellie trembles.  Her hand covers her mouth.  “No,” she whimpers.   

The glint of the city lights on the brass rim of her pendant catches her eye.  Time stops.

She remembers the day it came in the mail, how she cleaned the red shell until every trace of powder residue was gone, polished the metal cap until she could see her own pale fifteen-year-old reflection staring back at her.  

She remembers the care she took folding the cloth lining— meant to protect the cyanide pill she placed inside— tucking it down before she crimped the end back together.  She was proud of herself for that reloading job, sure no professional could ever tell the difference between that and another round of buckshot, except for the difference in weight.  

But what the professional wouldn’t know is that her shell, and new content specifically, was capable of ending her life as efficiently as any round of buckshot ever fired.   She turned a perfectly spent shotgun shell into a perfectly clean pill caddy pendant.

“Come on, man, snap out of it," Jake pleads.

Tanner stares back at him, his wide, bloodshot eyes dominating an otherwise blank expression.

"Come on,” Jake extends his hand.  “Just pass it over.”  He steps closer to him now.

Tanner’s head turns.  He looks out over the water.  Then down at the necklace still clutched in his hand.  He pulls it in, brings it close to his chest.

"That's it." Jake says.  “You got it now.”

But Ellie’s world still spins.  She can’t reconcile what Tanner is doing with her necklace, why he’s talking the way he is?   

Tanner grips the pendant, turns and walks to Jake.  With a wry grin on his face, he shoves it into Jake’s chest with a thump.  “You don’t need this anymore,” he repeats in a quiet voice with his head down.

Jake’s hands naturally fold around the necklace.  He takes a step back.  Tanner walks back through the door, calmer now, and down the corridor to the guest cabin.  He enters and closes the door behind him.

Eyes wide, Ellie looks at Jake, hopeful for a quick explanation.

“I shouldn’t have let that happen,” he looks at Ellie’s shocked expression.  “And for that I’m sorry,”   

“It’s not
your
fault,” Ellie can hear the surprise in her voice.

Jake swallows hard.  “But now I have to come clean on something I should have told you sooner.”  He looks out across the dark water, the sparkle he saw earlier now faded to a dull gray.  “This isn’t easy to say...”

“Nothing seems easy now,” she puts her hand on his cheek, turns his head back to face her.

Reassured by her kind touch, his lips slowly part.

“I’m not going to publish your story.”