“No one could do a better job than you, Paige.”
She forced herself to step out of his arms. “Can’t you see? That’s just the problem. This is a
job
, Christian. Maybe we both forgot that for a night, but it doesn’t change anything.”
“You think last night didn’t change things between us?”
“I
know
it didn’t. You’re still a big star, and I’m still just me.”
“I know you have your reservations about the spotlight, but I would never let anyone hurt you, Paige.
Never.
Please, at least give us some time to find a way to make things work. We don’t have to go to LA today. We could just go to your studio to dance together, or watch another Fred Astaire movie, or—”
“I can’t! Not when it feels like every time I do something with you, I get swept up. Swept completely away from reality! I dance with you, and it feels like there’s nothing else in the world that matters. I go roller-skating with you, and I can’t help but kiss you. I even danced on camera for your interviews, which is something I would never do for anyone else. When I’m with you, it’s so easy just to go along with it all. But it isn’t real, Christian. It’s like we’re in a movie, one where it feels like real life until the movie ends, and then you wake up to find that you’re just sitting in a theater and nothing has changed. I…” Her throat hurt from trying so hard to hold back her tears in front of him. “I can’t be there for the moment when you finally wake up and realize that someone else should be your leading lady. We had one amazing week together on this island, but we both know that’s all it will ever be.”
She made herself walk to the door, but couldn’t leave without adding in a broken voice thick with unshed tears, “Good luck with the movie. I’ll be rooting for you, every step of the way.” Her tears began to fall again as she forced herself to say, “Good-bye, Christian,” without running back into his arms.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Ice cream.
Paige hoped ice cream would make everything better as she sat down on the couch in the living room with a bucketful. Something had to, and she’d gone to the store to get the biggest container it had, because some things needed more ice cream than others. Maybe there wasn’t enough ice cream in the world to help her get over Christian, but she had to at least give it a try. Anything that might numb the pain she was feeling inside.
All morning long, she’d been telling herself that she’d done the right thing. That it was the only thing she could have done. Because sooner or later—emphasis on
sooner
—he would have found a woman far more suited to a star like him. And just because Paige had felt like the world was a better place every time they were close, just because she’d gotten so utterly swept up in everything they did together, didn’t mean that Christian wouldn’t wake up one day soon and wonder what spell he’d been under to fall for some nobody dance teacher from Walker Island.
“Focus on the ice cream,” she reminded herself, even though it was almost noon and she had yet to have a proper breakfast.
Plenty of ice cream had always worked to make her and her sisters feel better when they were kids, although it had never really been Paige’s preferred approach. The trouble was that neither of the options she usually went for when she was upset were available. Grams and Emily were out with Rachel, Charlotte, and Nicholas, enjoying more of the island’s holiday festivities. So talking things through with them was out. And as for just heading down to the dance studio and dancing until she either felt better or collapsed…well, for today anyway, Paige had a pretty good idea which of those was likely to happen first. More to the point, she didn’t feel like dancing, and that was a very strange new feeling in and of itself.
She
always
felt like dancing. Maybe not in front of anyone else, but she’d always craved the sensation of movement and the music running through her, making her a part of something that was bigger than any pain she might be feeling.
When her mother had died, she’d danced until she’d twisted an ankle and her father had had to carry her home to Grams’ place. After Patrice had dumped her, she’d danced in Grams’ studio until Emily had been ready to organize an intervention for her.
Today, though, she didn’t want to dance. Not when she knew that there was no way she would be able to without thinking about Christian. Without imagining him there with her.
Which left her sitting on the couch with the creamy dessert she was quickly realizing after only one spoonful that she had absolutely no appetite for. Plus, she couldn’t even watch one of her favorite dance movies, because just a glimpse would remind her that she’d spent so much of the last week foolishly falling head over heels for Christian.
So if not ice cream and a movie, what then? Before she could come up with another plan, Paige heard the sound of the front door opening.
“Is anyone home?”
She’d never been quite so happy to hear her father’s voice. She dropped the ice cream container onto the table, then ran up and hugged him.
“What a wonderful hug.” But when they drew back, and he finally saw her face, he said, “Oh, sweetheart, what’s wrong?”
“Can’t I just be happy to see you?”
It was obvious that her father could see right through her. As easily as he’d seen through her attempts to get out of her homework when she was a kid so she could get more time at the dance studio.
But knowing her better than almost anyone, all he gently said for the time being was, “Of course you can. Are you home alone?”
“Everyone else is out,” Paige explained. “I didn’t know you were coming over, Dad.”
“I thought I’d surprise you all.”
But she could see through him, too. “And to see what kind of leftovers we have from the Christmas meal, maybe?” Her father coming over to grab leftovers was another of those family Christmas traditions. So when he laughed and nodded, she put her arm through his and said, “I’m sure there will be something in the refrigerator. Why don’t we go and look?”
“That sounds good. And then you can tell me what has you so upset.”
If she talked about it, she would only end up crying, and she didn’t want to cry, not again. The whole point of walking away from Christian had been so that she wouldn’t end up as some kind of tearful mess. And so that she wouldn’t let another relationship reduce her to…well, this.
“I can’t,” she said softly.
“Well, then why don’t we just watch some TV together for now?” her father suggested. “And then if you’re in more of a talking mood later, we can chat.”
Her father hadn’t always been around when she and her sisters were kids—first, he’d been so busy working and then he’d been caught up with grief over the death of the girls’ mother. But she knew he’d always done his best for them. Grams and Emily might have done a lot to bring them up, but as an adult, her father had always been there for her when it had really counted.
“TV sounds good.”
“Do you want me to make you something for lunch?” he asked.
“I’ve got ice cream.”
“That bad, huh?”
Paige shook her head again. “I’m fine.”
Or, at least, she would be fine. Eventually. Even if it killed her.
They went and sat on the couch, turning on the TV. A Christmas show was on, but they switched to a wildlife documentary, and by that point quite a lot of the ice cream and leftovers seemed to have disappeared.
Paige would say this for her father: He knew precisely when to say nothing. And it really was enough for her that he was there, sitting beside her, eating what was left of the big family meal while watching a bunch of wildebeest tromp across the screen. It wasn’t the same as having Christian there beside her, yet it was still far, far better than being alone.
The midday news came on next, and most of it was actually pretty upbeat, so neither of them changed the channel. Which turned out to be a
huge
mistake when the news anchor said, “In entertainment news, we recently caught up with Christian Greer, lead actor in the remake of the Astaire and Rogers classic
Shall We Dance.
Greer has been working hard in preparation for this role at a dance studio on an island outside Seattle. He was kind enough to arrange for my colleagues to get some footage of his training.”
When they cut to images of Christian dancing with her in the studio, Paige realized this was the first time she’d seen herself dancing with him. The first time in a very long time that she’d seen herself dancing at all, actually.
“Dad, can we change—”
“Shh, I want to watch you. It isn’t every day that I get to see my beautiful daughter dancing on national television and know that everyone else is getting to see how talented you are, too.”
“I don’t think anyone but you is looking at me, Dad.”
He raised an eyebrow. “Christian certainly wasn’t looking anywhere else. And you weren’t looking anywhere but at him, you know.”
Paige started to deny that, but when she looked back at the TV, she was shocked to realize that her father was right. Not only was she looking at Christian as if he was the only man in the world, but, amazingly, he was looking at her in exactly the same way: with pure, sweet love.
She knew that, as an actor, he might be able to fake falling in love in a movie or TV show, but Paige had never been able to act like that. The love in her own eyes was utterly honest.
And, despite his acting skill, so was the love in his. Far more honest than she’d been with either of them when she’d run out of his hotel room, frightened beyond belief of how big her love for him was. Frightened of ever giving herself to anyone again. Foolishly thinking that she could somehow keep herself safe from ever being hurt again.
The news anchor went on. “Despite the incredible connection you’ve just witnessed between Christian and his dance partner, sources have been unable to confirm rumors of a romantic link. So don’t worry, ladies, there’s hope for you yet!”
“You know, Paige,” her father said as he finally turned off the TV, “I’ve always loved seeing you dance. Watching you and Christian together reminds me of dancing with your mother when we were younger. Did I ever tell you about how I met her?” He didn’t wait for a reply. “I was just starting out as a student teacher. I was kind of a nerd, and your mom was so far out of my league, I didn’t ever really think she meant it when she said how much she liked spending time with me. But you know what your grandmother can be like when it comes to wanting to see two people with a spark be happy together. Your grandmother told me that men should learn to appreciate dance, and when I saw your mom dance for the first time, I knew that I was in love. She was such a beautiful, perfect, almost otherworldly creature. So graceful, and already the best dancer in school by a long shot.”
Paige could easily imagine that. It was how she always remembered her mother, after all.
Her father went on. “So you can imagine how nervous I was. Ellen was so perfect and I…well, I was the guy any girl like that should have ignored. I wasn’t handsome or special. I certainly didn’t think that I could ever deserve someone like her.”
“But you and Mom were perfect for one another! Of course you deserved her.”
“That’s what I had to learn, Paige. It’s not about
deserving
someone. If it were, I’m sure your mother would probably have ended up with someone else. It wasn’t about
deserving her, it was about
loving
her. And finally getting up the nerve to actually ask her out. It took me most of a week to pluck up the courage to finally do it, and she told me afterwards that she’d been worried I wasn’t going to ask when all along she’d been pining away for me the same way I had been for her.” He peered at Paige through his glasses. “Do you understand what I’m trying to say, sweetheart?”
Paige understood perfectly. She’d spent so long wondering if she could ever be worthy of loving someone like Christian that she’d ignored the simple fact that she did love him. She’d pushed him away because she’d thought there was no chance they could ever make things work as a couple.
But that wasn’t fair to either one of them, was it?
“What do I do, Dad?”
“What do you want to do?”
“I want to go to Christian and tell him that I made a big mistake. I want to tell him that I love him and that I was scared. I want to tell him I was wrong to push him away the way I did. But I’m sure he isn’t even on the island anymore. There’s this big charity dance in Los Angeles that I had said I was going to do with him tonight, but then I pulled out.”
“If we head out immediately, I’m sure it wouldn’t be that difficult to get to Los Angeles by this evening, would it?”
No, it wouldn’t. Although Paige would have gone even if it had been a thousand times harder.
“I need to run upstairs to pack.”
“Before you do...” Her father put his arms around her again and kissed the top of her head. “I know I don’t always say it enough, but I’m proud of you, Paige, and I love you very, very much.” He beamed down at her as he added, “And I’m so glad you’ve found a man who clearly loves and appreciates you as much as all of us do.”
CHAPTER NINETEEN
Since arriving in Los Angeles, Christian had been home to see his family, he’d spoken to his agent about the new movie opportunity, he’d met his new co-star for
Shall We Dance
,
and he’d been practicing with the movie’s choreographer, Lynn, in a large downtown rehearsal space.
But none of it had helped to take his mind off Paige.
When he’d first been invited to be a part of the charity gala, Christian had been pleased to be able to help out the local community. He’d been doubly pleased to have Paige as his partner for the gala, because it would be the perfect way to show the whole world how much she meant to him.
But now, without her here, all he could feel was an aching loss. Especially when, with every step he took with Lynn, all he could think was that it should be Paige in his arms instead.
Christian was still trying to work out what had gone so suddenly wrong. Had she really been that concerned about him being an actor? And had she truly believed that he would eventually leave her, just because of what he did for a living? As it was, even dancing with another woman felt almost like a betrayal.